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The Mend Project
Educate. Prevent. Restore.
 * About
   * Contact
   * Our History
   * Our Team
 * Victims + Survivors
   * You Are Not Crazy
     * List of Unhealthy Behaviors You Might Be Facing
     * I Look Like The Crazy One
   * It’s Not Your Fault
     * Original Abuse
     * Glossary of Terms
     * Couple’s Therapy
     * Should I Stay or Should I Go?
   * You Are Not Alone
 * Responding to Abuse
   * How Can I Know if it’s Abuse?
     * The Victim
     * The Abuser
   * What is My Role?
     * DOUBLE ABUSE®
     * Complex PTSD
     * Prevent PTSD into C-PTSD
     * Note to Faith-Based Organizations
 * Training + Curriculum
 * Tools + Resources
 * Get Involved


 * About
   * Contact
   * Our History
   * Our Team
 * Victims + Survivors
   * You Are Not Crazy
     * List of Unhealthy Behaviors You Might Be Facing
     * I Look Like The Crazy One
   * It’s Not Your Fault
     * Original Abuse
     * Glossary of Terms
     * Couple’s Therapy
     * Should I Stay or Should I Go?
   * You Are Not Alone
 * Responding to Abuse
   * How Can I Know if it’s Abuse?
     * The Victim
     * The Abuser
   * What is My Role?
     * DOUBLE ABUSE®
     * Complex PTSD
     * Prevent PTSD into C-PTSD
     * Note to Faith-Based Organizations
 * Training + Curriculum
 * Tools + Resources
 * Get Involved

 * BLOG
 * DONATE

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AM I THE VICTIM OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE?

We Can Help


SOMEONE I KNOW IS BEING ABUSED

Learn How to Help


MY ORGANIZATION NEEDS TRAINING ON ABUSE

Get Equipped





AM I THE VICTIM OF


EMOTIONAL ABUSE?

We Can Help


SOMEONE I KNOW IS BEING ABUSED

Learn How to Help


MY ORGANIZATION


NEEDS TRAINING


ON ABUSE

Get Equipped


UPCOMING EVENTS AND TRAINING




SPOTLIGHT ON COERCIVE CONTROL: EMPOWERING PARENTS AND CHILDREN IN COERCIVE
CONTROL SITUATIONS

Join MEND in a FREE webinar on coercive control, a form of psychological abuse
that can be difficult to recognize as abusive. Coercive abuse often causes long
term negative effects on children who witness it or are used as a tool in
perpetuating it.

Date: Tuesday, April 16, 2024, 10 a.m. PST – 11 a.m. PST |    SIGN UP


FINDING CLARITY AND HEALING IN DIFFICULT, CONFUSING, OR STRESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS

Access this life-changing course now to get the tools for identifying,
addressing, and overcoming unhealthy dynamics.

Understanding the underlying issues that cause destructive relationship patterns
leads you to a path of healing.

Access the Course



ABUSE DETECTION AND INTERVENTION FOR LICENSED PROFESSIONALS



For Licensed Clinicians, Mental Health Professionals, Psychologists, Social
Workers, Marriage and Family Therapists, Licensed Professional Clinical
Counselors and Domestic Violence Counselors.

Access this critical four-part, APA Accredited*, 9.5-hour CE course at any time
from the comfort of your own home!

Enroll Today



AWARENESS

We dispel ignorance about Covert Emotional Abuse, a dangerous and common form of
Domestic Violence, which significantly harms its victims and extends its reach
to the whole family and its community. Children living in violent homes, even if
not directly abused, can experience mental, physical, and/or psychological
impairment that affects their development and can last into adulthood. By
stemming the tide of abuse through education, we protect families and foster
healthy environments in which all individuals can thrive.




HEALING RESPONSES

By training individuals and organizations most likely to receive a victim’s
disclosure of abuse, TMP is creating a shift in domestic violence counsel and
care and providing a pathway to healing. We prevent Double Abuse® by promoting
trauma-informed and compassionate responses and refusing to permit first
responders to disbelieve, shun, silence, or mock a victim who courageously
speaks out about the abuse they are enduring. We provide tools to prevent Double
Abuse® while promoting clarity, empowerment, accountability, and restoration.




CURRICULUM

We provide in-person training or presentations and written and online video
curriculum to equip NGO’s, therapists, social workers, universities, faith-based
organizations, and other first responders about how to identify signs of abuse,
respond to abuse, empower victims, lead abusers toward change, and identify
cultural biases that foster Double Abuse®. Our trainings are available in-person
or online. M3ND trainer and founder, Annette Oltmans, also speaks at regional
and national events or conferences on these topics.

.




AWARENESS

We dispel ignorance about Covert Emotional Abuse, a dangerous and common form of
Domestic Violence, which significantly harms its victims and extends its reach
to the whole family and its community. Children living in violent homes, even if
not directly abused, can experience mental, physical, and/or psychological
impairment that affects their development and can last into adulthood. By
stemming the tide of abuse through education, we protect families and foster
healthy environments in which all individuals can thrive.


HEALING RESPONSES

By training individuals and organizations most likely to receive a victim’s
disclosure of abuse, TMP is creating a shift in domestic violence counsel and
care and providing a pathway to healing. We prevent Double Abuse® by promoting
trauma-informed and compassionate responses and refusing to permit first
responders to disbelieve, shun, silence, or mock a victim who courageously
speaks out about the abuse they are enduring. We provide tools to prevent Double
Abuse® while promoting clarity, empowerment, accountability, and restoration.


CURRICULUM

We provide in-person training or presentations and written and online video
curriculum to equip NGO’s, therapists, social workers, universities, faith-based
organizations, and other first responders about how to identify signs of abuse,
respond to abuse, empower victims, lead abusers toward change, and identify
cultural biases that foster Double Abuse®. Our trainings are available in-person
or online. M3ND trainer and founder, Annette Oltmans, also speaks at regional
and national events or conferences on these topics.




LATEST FROM THE BLOG


SPIRITUAL ABUSE: SIGNS AND IS SEPARATING OKAY FOR HEALING?

April 21, 20232 Comments

Spiritual abuse, or religious abuse, is one of the most damaging forms of
psychological coercion which can take years before a person fully heals from the
trauma it causes them.…

Read more


TRAUMA BONDING EXPLAINED: SIGNS AND HOW TO BREAK THE BOND

April 5, 20233 Comments

The trauma bond created in some abusive relationships can make it difficult, and
seemingly impossible to stay or leave the harmful relationship. Trauma bonds to
abusive relationships as adults often…

Read more


HOW TO SAFELY LEAVE AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP AND NOT GO BACK

March 22, 2023Leave a comment

If you are in an abusive relationship, it may become so volatile that you can no
longer avoid the reality that you need to leave or you may not live.…

Read more


13 OVERLOOKED REASONS WHY WOMEN STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

March 8, 20234 Comments

If you have ever witnessed a friend or family member in an abusive relationship,
you likely feared for their safety, even their life and you would do anything to
protect…

Read more


HOW TO CHOOSE A RELATIONSHIP THERAPIST FOR YOUR TROUBLED RELATIONSHIP

February 16, 20231 Comment

Many of us feel uncomfortable interviewing therapists before choosing them. It’s
hard enough right now to find a therapist with the capacity to see new patients.
So, when we finally…

Read more


HOW TO RESPOND TO GASLIGHTING (5-TOP WAYS TO CONFRONT THE ABUSE)

August 24, 20231 Comment

Recognizing and responding to gaslighting can be a daunting task, but
understanding its nuances is the first step towards liberation from its
manipulative hold on you. Gaslighting may occur in…

Read more


WHAT IS GASLIGHTING? 10 OBVIOUS CLUES YOU’RE BEING GASLIGHTED

August 8, 2023Leave a comment

Most of us are now familiar with the term “Gaslighting”, which is used loosely
in response to many situations within diverse relationship types. Gaslighting
isn’t always abusive but when it…

Read more


WHAT IS NARCISSISTIC GASLIGHTING? 19-SIGNS IT IS HAPPENING TO YOU

July 18, 20236 Comments

The terms “narcissist” and “gaslighting” are widely used in our culture, but
they are rarely understood. Narcissistic gaslighting is a form of psychological
abuse that is very destructive, more than…

Read more


 CAN ABUSERS CHANGE? 5 ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE OBSTACLES EXPLAINED

June 27, 20232 Comments

One of the most common questions victims of domestic abuse ask is whether
abusers can change their behavior or not.  In this article, we will explore this
question in depth…

Read more


HEALING FROM EMOTIONAL ABUSE: 5 ESSENTIAL STEPS TO FULLY RECOVER

May 16, 20232 Comments

If you have experienced any form of emotional abuse – from family, friends, or
romantic partnerships – you may wonder if you’ll ever find complete healing from
the painful outcomes…

Read more


SPIRITUAL ABUSE: SIGNS AND IS SEPARATING OKAY FOR HEALING?

April 21, 20232 Comments

Spiritual abuse, or religious abuse, is one of the most damaging forms of
psychological coercion which can take years before a person fully heals from the
trauma it causes them.…

Read more


TRAUMA BONDING EXPLAINED: SIGNS AND HOW TO BREAK THE BOND

April 5, 20233 Comments

The trauma bond created in some abusive relationships can make it difficult, and
seemingly impossible to stay or leave the harmful relationship. Trauma bonds to
abusive relationships as adults often…

Read more


HOW TO SAFELY LEAVE AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP AND NOT GO BACK

March 22, 2023Leave a comment

If you are in an abusive relationship, it may become so volatile that you can no
longer avoid the reality that you need to leave or you may not live.…

Read more


13 OVERLOOKED REASONS WHY WOMEN STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

March 8, 20234 Comments

If you have ever witnessed a friend or family member in an abusive relationship,
you likely feared for their safety, even their life and you would do anything to
protect…

Read more


HOW TO CHOOSE A RELATIONSHIP THERAPIST FOR YOUR TROUBLED RELATIONSHIP

February 16, 20231 Comment

Many of us feel uncomfortable interviewing therapists before choosing them. It’s
hard enough right now to find a therapist with the capacity to see new patients.
So, when we finally…

Read more


HOW TO RESPOND TO GASLIGHTING (5-TOP WAYS TO CONFRONT THE ABUSE)

August 24, 20231 Comment

Recognizing and responding to gaslighting can be a daunting task, but
understanding its nuances is the first step towards liberation from its
manipulative hold on you. Gaslighting may occur in…

Read more


WHAT IS GASLIGHTING? 10 OBVIOUS CLUES YOU’RE BEING GASLIGHTED

August 8, 2023Leave a comment

Most of us are now familiar with the term “Gaslighting”, which is used loosely
in response to many situations within diverse relationship types. Gaslighting
isn’t always abusive but when it…

Read more


WHAT IS NARCISSISTIC GASLIGHTING? 19-SIGNS IT IS HAPPENING TO YOU

July 18, 20236 Comments

The terms “narcissist” and “gaslighting” are widely used in our culture, but
they are rarely understood. Narcissistic gaslighting is a form of psychological
abuse that is very destructive, more than…

Read more


 CAN ABUSERS CHANGE? 5 ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE OBSTACLES EXPLAINED

June 27, 20232 Comments

One of the most common questions victims of domestic abuse ask is whether
abusers can change their behavior or not.  In this article, we will explore this
question in depth…

Read more


HEALING FROM EMOTIONAL ABUSE: 5 ESSENTIAL STEPS TO FULLY RECOVER

May 16, 20232 Comments

If you have experienced any form of emotional abuse – from family, friends, or
romantic partnerships – you may wonder if you’ll ever find complete healing from
the painful outcomes…

Read more


STORIES OF HEALING
 * Excitement Quickly Turned Into Confusion: By Tobey
   October 16, 2023
 * In Desperation, I Sought the Wrong Refuge – By Abigail
   September 7, 2023
 * Love-Bombed: A Story of Surviving from Vesper
   March 1, 2023

HELP & INFORMATION

If you are in immediate danger contact the national hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) or
call 911.

Privacy Policy



GET INVOLVED

Thre are four ways you can immediately get involved with the M3ND Project.

LEARN MORE



Disclaimer: The author of this website, The M3ND Project and its founder,
Annette Oltmans, takes responsibility for the presentation of the content of
this website. We are not clinicians, but are researchers and desire to help you.
We are not trying to vilify any gender, or any person, regardless of race,
ethnicity, sexual orientation, nationality etc. Our mission is to identify and
clarify the single behaviors or patterns of behaviors that occur when covert
abuse is present. The material on this website and the services our nonprofit
offers are offered to in an effort to serve all victims of abuse. © 2024 The
MEND Project. All Rights Reserved.



Go to Top



 * About
   * Contact
   * Our History
   * Our Team
 * Victims + Survivors
   * You Are Not Crazy
     * List of Unhealthy Behaviors You Might Be Facing
     * I Look Like The Crazy One
   * It’s Not Your Fault
     * Original Abuse
     * Glossary of Terms
     * Couple’s Therapy
     * Should I Stay or Should I Go?
   * You Are Not Alone
 * Responding to Abuse
   * How Can I Know if it’s Abuse?
     * The Victim
     * The Abuser
   * What is My Role?
     * DOUBLE ABUSE®
     * Complex PTSD
     * Prevent PTSD into C-PTSD
     * Note to Faith-Based Organizations
 * Training + Curriculum
 * Tools + Resources
 * Get Involved