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HOW TO GIVE HER AN ORGASM: A SIMPLE GUIDE ON A COMPLEX MATTER FOR MEN



Human sexuality and relationship expert
by Dr. Laura Berman Last updated 06/07/2022

WARMING FEMALE AROUSAL GEL


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How Female Arousal Works | Tips to Make Her Orgasm | Pro Tips for Better
Orgasms | Takeaways

You're looking to please your female partner during sex, so you Google: "how to
make a girl orgasm."

Congratulations—you've just stepped into a rabbit hole of female orgasm
information.

Some of what you read on other blogs may be the truth, but much of what you
stumble across will be fiction.

It's really no wonder guys are bumbling and fumbling in the bedroom, trying
desperately to get it right and just having no luck.

In fact, studies have shown that only six percent of women always have an orgasm
during sex, and the numbers have seemed to be on a decline since 1999.

Blame it on an overload of internet information, blame it on pornography, or
blame it on what you will.



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Fact is, if you really want to know how to give her an orgasm, you have to get
your ego in check, realize there may be a lot to learn outside of "educational"
porn clips, and settle in for an informative experience—don't worry, we've got
you covered.



Why can't I seem to find her G-Spot?

The G-spot is located just inside the front wall of the vagina and can be very
difficult to find if she is not aroused. Once aroused, her urethral sponge or
G-Spot will become swollen as blood rushes to it, making it much easier to
locate.

What are the signs of female arousal?

There are several indicators that a woman is aroused, ranging from increased
wetness, erect nipples, dilated pupils, and increased pulse, just to name a few.

What triggers female arousal?

Sight, smell, touch, communication... the list goes on, but Promescent makes a
female arousal spray that is sure to help get things started.

Can all women have a G-Spot orgasm?

Studies show that some women can find G-spot stimulation irritating. In
contrast, others do not experience any pleasure from G-Spot stimulation during
certain times of their monthly cycle. So, you may want to try at different times
during the month to see if she is more sensitive to stimulation at different
times of her cycle.




TECHNIQUES TO GIVE HER BETTER ORGASMS


1. TRY A DELAY SPRAY TO LAST LONGER

About one in three men experience premature ejaculation, and some men deal with
the issue on a regular basis.

The problem is, it can take women longer to reach orgasm than men already, so
premature ejaculation issues can make it even harder to help her get over the
threshold when you've already finished.

If you consistently hit your climax point and the refractory period before she
gets anywhere near the big bang, it may be wise to dry a delay spray to help you
last longer in bed.

The average point of climax for a female is more than 13 minutes.

For example, Promescent Delay Spray for Men is applied to the most sensitive
parts of your penis just before sex to help you slow down the process just
enough to put you on an even keel with your female partner.


2. LEARN HOW TO BE BETTER AT FOREPLAY

Women are more likely to need a little encouragement before their body starts to
respond, which means foreplay is a huge factor in delivering better orgasms and
maybe even delivering orgasms at all.

Foreplay is the warm-up phase for a female. This warm-up period builds
anticipation, encourages blood flow to her lady parts, and triggers natural
lubrication.

And, there is a direct link between foreplay and the intensity or satisfaction
with her orgasm.

So, unless she seems all about a heat-of-the-moment throwdown, don't skip it.

Foreplay tips for men to use on a woman are relatively abundant, and even
injecting just a few tricks can really make a difference in her ability to
climax either before or during intercourse.

The top three tips to remember about foreplay:

 1. Don't rush it and don't act like it's just some obligatory act you're being
    forced to do. Let her see you enjoy the process just as much as she does.
 2. Start foreplay outside of the bedroom by stimulating her emotionally and
    mentally. Tell her how sexy she is, whisper something seductive in her ear,
    do something to take some stress out of her day.
 3. Be gentle and start slow. Don't just dive all in with your fingers and
    expect her to respond. Caress her, rub her, massage her, kiss her.


3. MIND YOUR EXERCISE AND DIET



Yes, really.

BUT, if you really want to give her a better orgasm, getting in shape
and increasing your stamina can be a REALLY big deal. Here are a few thoughts to
explain why:

 * You overloaded on pizza and beer, and then you try to have sex with a bloated
   gut, making it harder to grind against her clitoris during penetration.
 * You've been slacking in the workout/diet department, gained some pounds, and
   lost some strength. She wants to try a new position to help her orgasm, but
   you're too out of shape to oblige.
 * You've followed a diet of caffeine and junk for weeks. She's slow to reach
   orgasm, and you just don't have the stamina to get her there.


4. GET THE CONVERSATION STARTED AND KEEP ON TALKING

Verbalizing about sex doesn't come naturally for everyone, but the more you can
talk, exchange ideas, and give guidance in the bedroom, the more equipped you
both will be to please each other.

It doesn't hurt to ask her what she likes, what really gets her to her breaking
point, and even how she gets herself off when playing solo.

You may be amazed at what you learn and just how you've been doing it all wrong.

Once you've started talking about how to give her an orgasm, keep the
communication lines flowing even when you make it to the bedroom.

Don't be afraid to:

 * Ask her if she likes it when you rub her this way
 * Ask her if you're hitting her G-spot
 * Ask her if she wants a new position to help her finish

All this sexy talk isn't all about getting guidance; it can also be a highly
arousing exchange for both of you.


5. DON'T SHY AWAY FROM SEX TOYS

Ladies often reach for vibrators and other sex toys for some solo play, but
there is nothing wrong with bringing them into the equation when it's the two of
you.

If she's having a harder time getting there with just your stimulation alone (or
if you just want to have fun), consider picking out some toys.



The sex toy lineup out there these days is all-out impressive.

Wands meant to directly hit the G-spot, strap-in-place vibrators for ongoing
clitoral stimulation, and even cock rings that have fancy protruding ticklers on
top that wriggle and gyrate for her C-spot—the list could go on forever.

Make a game of picking out a toy you both want to try, and give it a go. You may
find all-new ways to cause a female orgasm in the process.


6. PICK THE SEXUAL POSITIONS MOST APT TO ENCOURAGE ORGASM

If you're shooting to make her orgasm in a certain way, taking advantage of
certain positions can really help. Check out our guide on sex positions to last
longer.

For example:

 * Missionary (you on top) can be good for clitoral orgasms because you can
   grind right against her clitoral area
 * Cowgirl (her on top) can be great for G-spot orgasms but also allows her to
   control pressure on her clitoral area for orgasmic control there too
 * Rear-Entry (doggy style) can be an awesome way to hit her G-spot


7. USE LUBE FOR FRICTIONLESS PLEASURE

When a female gets aroused, her body produces a natural lube, and she can create
an abundance of it most of the time.

This lube keeps her vaginal opening and clitoris wet so there is no friction
during play and intercourse and she can enjoy stimulation more and reach orgasm
easier.



It is perfectly normal for the amount of natural lube for females to be lacking
sometimes, so you may need a little help to deter friction at times.

Pick a high-quality lube like this premium organic lube from Promescent, which
is pH-balanced and safe with condoms.


THE FEMALE ANATOMY AND AROUSAL PROCESS EXPLAINED

Basically, most women can have two types of orgasms with the proper stimulation:
an internal (vaginal) orgasm that usually happens during some type of
penetration and an external clitoral (C-spot) orgasm.

To better understand the female orgasm, you have to first get familiar with two
hot spots of the female anatomy.


THE G-SPOT

No doubt you've heard about it, you may have tried to find it, and it is a
little elusive in the eyes of most men.

The G-spot is one of the most sensitive internal parts of the female anatomy and
is suspected to play a role in the vaginal orgasm.

 * But, where is it?

 * What does it feel like?

 * Where can you find it?

You shouldn't feel bad if you have a hard time pinpointing the G-spot. The
targeted "spot" can vary depending on the woman and her personal anatomy.

G-spot is short for the Gräfenberg spot.

Most often, the spot is located no more than four inches inside the vaginal
opening. The spot is actually facing her spinal column.

You may find it by using one or two fingers, palm up, and stroking in a
"come-hither" motion.

Some say the spot feels a bit like a walnut because the skin is slightly tougher
and maybe a bit wrinkly. However, your biggest indicator that you've found it is
her reaction.

In fact, she can probably do a good job of pointing you in the right direction,
so don't be afraid to ask.


THE C-SPOT

The C-spot is just a fancy way to refer to the clitoris, and any man learning
how to give her an orgasm must get really educated about this part of the female
anatomy.

The clitoris is actually a wishbone-shaped area located above the vaginal
opening.

Literally, thousands of nerve-endings make up the clitoral area, and the apex of
the C-spot is the tiny pearl of flesh located just under the clitoral hood.

More women actually experience a clitoral orgasm than a vaginal orgasm, and it
doesn't always happen during sexual intercourse.



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A LOOK AT HER AROUSAL PROCESS AND SETTING THE MOOD

Guys are more likely to be standing at full attention and ready to roll right
away. Women can need a little more encouragement.

The typical arousal process for a female usually looks something like what
follows:

Desire - The desire to have sex is where it all starts. Her skin may flush,
blood flow increases to her nipples and her clitoris, and her internal walls may
start to produce lubrication and swell.

Arousal - Arousal is the state before orgasm. Her body is gaining sexual
tension, so her muscles may become tenser, she will likely produce more
lubrication, and her nipples may grow erect and her clitoris even more
sensitive.

Orgasm - The peak point of arousal when the stars align, the heavens open up,
and the angels sing. Okay, so physically speaking, her body is wracked with
waves of pleasurable contractions, she takes in more oxygen, her blood pressure
rises, and she reaches a point of release when the tension building to this
point is finally released.

Resolution - Resolution is the finality, the blissful, relaxed time after an
orgasm when all is right with the world. The body is enjoying those doses of
oxytocin produced during orgasm and returning to normal.

Your process looks a lot the same but can happen in rapid-fire succession. She
may need a little help from you to really work through the earliest stages.

Set the mood by:

 * Treating her well; making her happy
 * Caressing her lovingly
 * Kissing her
   
 * Lowering the lights
 * Showing her you're interested
 * Expressing what you want to do to her




THE DIFFERENT WAYS TO MAKE HER ORGASM

With your brushed-up knowledge on her anatomy and arousal process, you are
almost ready to induce female orgasm. Nevertheless, you should also know, just
like you, she can have an orgasm in different ways.


ORGASM FROM FINGER/HAND PLAY

Females usually use their own hands and fingers to make themselves orgasm during
masturbation, and there's no doubt you can do the same with a little guidance
from her.

Using your hands and fingers to make her come gives you a little more control
over the situation than during penetration, which may be necessary if she
usually has a hard time getting there during sex.


ORGASM FROM PENETRATION

It is a common misconception that women should always have an orgasm during sex,
but this is actually the hardest to pull off for a few reasons:

 * Inducing orgasm during penetration may require a specific position
 * Inducing orgasm during penetration may require simultaneous clitoral
   stimulation for a woman who has a harder time reaching vaginal orgasms
 * Inducing orgasm during penetration can be tough for guys who can't last as
   long as their female partner

If the last item on the list is your biggest issue, try a Promescent delay spray
to delay your own climax.

Also, you can make use of those hands and fingers or your mouth during foreplay
to get her closer to orgasm before you actually get started.


ORGASM FROM ORAL

Oral sex is actually one of the easiest ways to make a woman orgasm, especially
if you know what you're doing. Check our guide to the venus butterfly technique.

Oral usually involves direct and indirect stimulation of her clitoris with your
mouth and tongue, which can be wetter and gentler than your fingers.



Of course, you can always do a combination of oral and finger play to bring her
to her release.

If you really want to heighten the potential for a mind-blowing orgasm, try the
venus butterfly technique.


TAKEAWAYS

 * Get familiar with her anatomy and her arousal process
 * She can have more than one type of orgasm
 * Orgasms do not always happen during penetration
 * Every female is different; let her tell you what she likes
 * Delay spray can close the "orgasm gap" between you and your partner
 * Use foreplay to your advantage
 * When in doubt, let her guide you

There you have it—a detailed, in-depth, truthful guide about how to make a girl
orgasm.

It's not as difficult as it can sound but definitely can be more complicated
than what the movies make it.

If you've paid attention, she'll likely be visiting O-Town with your help in
nothing flat.

If you didn't... well, this guide will be posted for repeat reference for the
long haul.

You'll get there. More importantly, you'll get her there!





RELATED ARTICLES

 * A Guide To Cunnilingus: Tips, Techniques, And More
 * The Orgasm Gap: FAQ's & Ways To Close It
 * How To Perform The Venus Butterfly Technique, Tips And Guidelines
 * How To Have An Orgasm: Best Positions, Techniques And Toys

DR. LAURA BERMAN

Dr. Laura Berman PhD is an acclaimed relationship expert, award-winning radio
host on her show 'Uncovered Radio' and a NY Times best-selling author. Dr.
Berman has a doctorate from New York University with an emphasis on human
sexuality. She is also a member of AASECT, SSSS, the International Society for
the study of Women's Sexual Health and the American Urologic Society.

SOURCES:

Absorption Pharmaceuticals LLC (Promescent) has strict informational citing
guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic or research
institutions, medical associations, and medical experts. We attempt to use
primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references and only citing
trustworthy sources. Each article is reviewed, written, and updated by Medical
Professionals or authoritative Experts in a specific, related field of practice.
You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by
reading our editorial policy.

 * Roger Dobson. 2019 June 02. New study reveals average time for a woman to
   orgasm. NZ Herald.
   https://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/new-study-reveals-average-time-for-a-woman-to-orgasm/CA2ZNMHEWGX4QYMFLOL3LAD2PM/?c_id=6&objectid=12236819.
   Accessed 26 Jan 2022.
 * Gregory A Broderick. 2006 September. Premature ejaculation: on defining and
   quantifying a common male sexual dysfunction. National Library of Medicine
   (pubmed).
   https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16939473/#:~:text=Introduction%3A%20Premature%20ejaculation%20(PE),of%2018%20and%2059%20years.
   Accessed 26 Jan 2022.
 * Osmo Kontula, Researcher Professor, PhD* and Anneli Miettinen, Researcher,
   MSSc. 2016 October 25. Determinants of female sexual orgasms. National Center
   for Biotechnology Information (NCBI).
   https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087699/#:~:text=In%202015%2C%2046%25%20of%20women,orgasms%20fairly%20infrequently%20at%20most.
   Accessed 26 Jan 2022.
 * Amber Brenza. 2015 August 07. 5 Types Of Orgasms—And How To Have More Of
   Each. Prevention. https://www.prevention.com/sex/a20473328/types-of-orgasms/.
   Accessed 26 Jan 2022

The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice,
diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other
qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical
condition.

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