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Text Content

 * Issue 64
 * The Usual
   * News from the Front
   * Did You Know?
   * Drunkard of the Issue
   * You Know You’re a Drunkard When…
   * Postcards from Skidrow
   * Helpful Hints for Hoochers
   * Wino Wisdom
   * Beautiful Drunk Talk
   * United Booze Federation
   * Adventures with Alcohol
   * Dear Concerned Cad
   * Clash of the Tightest Redux
   * Ask Dr. Buuz-Hund
 * Sections
   * How-To
   * History
   * Interviews
   * Icons
   * Fiction
   * Travel
   * Podcasts
   * Politics
   * Film and Video
   * True Adventure
   * Creed
   * Prohibitionists
   * Biography
   * Bar Culture
   * Etiquette
   * Poetry
   * Investigative
   * Booze
     * Cocktails
     * Spirits
     * Beer
     * Wine
 * Top Hits
 * Archives
 * Drunkard Gear


Search

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MODERN DRUNKARD MAGAZINE


 * Issue 64
 * The Usual
   * News from the Front
   * Did You Know?
   * Drunkard of the Issue
   * You Know You’re a Drunkard When…
   * Postcards from Skidrow
   * Helpful Hints for Hoochers
   * Wino Wisdom
   * Beautiful Drunk Talk
   * United Booze Federation
   * Adventures with Alcohol
   * Dear Concerned Cad
   * Clash of the Tightest Redux
   * Ask Dr. Buuz-Hund
 * Sections
   * How-To
   * History
   * Interviews
   * Icons
   * Fiction
   * Travel
   * Podcasts
   * Politics
   * Film and Video
   * True Adventure
   * Creed
   * Prohibitionists
   * Biography
   * Bar Culture
   * Etiquette
   * Poetry
   * Investigative
   * Booze
     * Cocktails
     * Spirits
     * Beer
     * Wine
 * Top Hits
   * The 86 Rules of Boozing
     Here’s Why Champagne Is Fucking Overrated
     The Fire Inside: The Great Drunkards and What They Drank
     Dead End Drinks
     Welcome to BoozeTown
     
     
 * Archives
 * Drunkard Gear





BOUT 6: MARK “WHISKEYBOAT” TWAIN VS. OLIVER “ONE FOR THE ROAD” REED

Frank Kelly Rich


THE FUTURE OF BOOZING

Frank Kelly Rich


WELCOME TO THE NANO STATE

Frank Kelly Rich


THE STRANGE CASE OF PBR

Bryan Dent


COMMUNITY AND FREEDOM

Colin Deal


TODAY'S REASON TO DRINK



 * It’s William Holden’s birthday. One of the finest actors of Hollywood’s
   Golden Age, and he had the Oscar to prove it, Bill starred in many top-shelf
   movies, including Love Is a Many Splendored Thing, The Wild Bunch, The Bridge
   on the River Kwai, Stalag 17, Picnic, and a personal favorite, Sunset
   Boulevard. Soooooooo, did Bill drink? Why, yes he did. They called him an
   alcoholic most of his career, but Bill didn’t seem to mind. Holden was what
   you would call a risk-taker. Others might call him mad, bad, and dangerous to
   know. The way he figured it, we weren’t put down on this crazy planet to
   cower in the shadows until Death creeps around. He liked to push the limits,
   which sometimes got him in trouble with the Man. Top quote: “I don’t really
   know why, but danger has always been an important thing in my life. To see
   how far I could lean without falling, how fast I could go without cracking
   up.”

ARTICLES


PLASTERED PROPAGANDA POSTER 64: SMASH THE NANNY STATE

Frank Kelly Rich
Get a mini or large polycanvas poster right here. 


BEAUTIFUL DRUNK TALK #64

Frank Kelly Rich



TIPPING POINTS

Luke Schmaltz
A Blast from the Past Wealthy Americans adopted the practice of tipping as they
traveled about Europe in the mid-19th Century. At the time, trans-Atlantic...


THE GHOST IN THE MACHINE

Frank Kelly Rich
MDM: Before we start, let’s have a Papa Doble. EH: Good idea. You and master
bartender Constantino Ribalaigua Vert conspired this cocktail, didn’t you? At
La...


WINO WISDOM: ISSUE 64

Various
“It’s not day drinking if you’re still up from last night. It’s second-wave
night drinking.” Unknown gent, who probably spent too much time in school,...


UBF MEMO #16: WHAT’S BOOZE GOOD FOR?

Frank Kelly Rich



THE UNITED ALTERED STATES

Sarah Szabo
“The United States of America” has always been a misnomer. “States of America,”
yes. “United?” Well… In the sense that we’re all stuck together, that...


DID YOU KNOW? #64

Frank Kelly Rich
 


DRUNKARD OF THE ISSUE #64: LYDIA LUNCH

Luke Schmaltz
Lydia Lunch knocks a backhand of defiance into the face of the status quo like a
shot of tequila spat into a gaping wound....


A BRAVE NEW DAWN

Stanley McHale
It is generally assumed that the drunk is an animal of the night. That we are to
be found prowling the dark jungle of dives...


POSTCARDS FROM SKID ROW #64

Various
Drinking in a Church Yard The idea is anonymity Or peace, As the dead only punch
Their hands through the sod In the imagination Or the cheap seats I run...


YOU KNOW YOU’RE A DRUNKARD WHEN… #64

Frank Kelly Rich
Cenosillicaphobia is fear of an empty glass, and you’re getting damned angry at
the snickering bartenders who find it amusing when you have a...


COMMUNITY AND FREEDOM

Colin Deal
Social media is a benjo ditch, an open sewer where gondoliers named Zuckerberg,
Musk and Gates spend the day steering fancy Venetian canoes. Every day,...


WELCOME TO THE NANO STATE

Frank Kelly Rich



OLIVER REED: PROFILE IN DRINKING COURAGE

Joseph M. Boylan
In the pantheon of history’s heroically great drinkers, there is a special place
reserved for the British actor Oliver Reed. Reed’s alcohol consumption was
truly...


THE STRANGE CASE OF PBR

Bryan Dent
Pabst Blue Ribbon is a beer of simple pleasures. It didn’t actually win a blue
ribbon, but no one buys Pabst for its award-winning pedigree....


NEWS FROM THE FRONT

Frank Kelly Rich
Humanity stands at a crossroads. I’m not talking about the madness in the Middle
East­—we’ve been doing donuts at that particular intersection for millennia—I’m
talking...


THE FUTURE OF BOOZING

Frank Kelly Rich
Two decades ago, this magazine squinted into the hazy horizon and coughed up a
slew of wild predictions about the future of drinking. So, how’d...


IN PRAISE OF THE SPRITZER

Sarah Szabo
As a woman, there’s not a cocktail on this Earth that I would feel any kind of
shame for ordering. Blowjob shot? Hit me, I’m...


BOOZE OF THE WORLD: ALL IN WITH TEN HIGH BOURBON

Bryan Dent
“A True Bourbon.” That was once the emphatic claim of Ten High, back when it was
a cheap but honorable straight bourbon whiskey. Today it...

Modern Drunkard Video
The 86 Rules of Boozing
10:00
The 86 Rules of Boozing
10:00

Lesson 26: Infiltrating the Drys
02:19

What Fathers Really Want for Father's Day
01:29

Without Alcohol Humanity Would Still Be Living in the Trees or Extinct
03:56

Helpful Hints for Hoochers: Booze Fixes Questionable Water
00:47

COLUMNS AND REGULAR FEATURES


EPISODE 12: ABSINTHE AND EVAN WILLIAMS WITH JT HABERSAAT




THE BOOZER’S BUCKET LIST




THE UPDATED 86 RULES OF BOOZING




BOUT 5: JIM “LIZARD KING” MORRISON VS. CARSON “KEEP ‘EM COMING” MCCULLERS




UNDER THE INFLUENCE: DR. HUNTER S. THOMPSON, WHISKEY EVANGELIST




DIVE BAR CONFIDENTIAL




NEWS FROM THE FRONT: THE REVERSE METAMORPHOSIS OF A DIVE




UNDER THE INFLUENCE: CHARLES BUKOWSKI, HIGH LAUREATE OF CHEAP BOOZE




KNOW YOUR BOOZE: EVAN WILLIAMS BOURBON




UNDER THE INFLUENCE: DENVER JOE VASQUEZ, DRINK UP AND BE SOMEBODY




THE DRINKING DEAD, PART IV: WHAT ROUGH BEAST




ASK DR. BUUZ-HUND #62





BOOZE-SOAKED FICTION


GIRL, CRAZY




THE DRINKING DEAD, PART 1: THE LOUNGE AT THE END OF...




RIP GRIFFIN, DRINKING DETECTIVE: TALK DIRTY TO ME




ADVENTURES WITH ALCOHOL


ADVENTURES WITH ALCOHOL: GENETICALLY PREDISPOSED




TOP 2020 DRUNXPEDITIONS




KONYAGI: TEARS OF THE LION




ALL THE PRETTY PICTURES


BOOZER MADNESS!




THE SEVEN STEPS TO BLACKOUT ISLAND




TOP 2020 DRUNXPEDITIONS




HOW TO ARTICLES


THE LOST ART OF STAGGERING




BLACKED OUT AND BLUE




THE WINGMAN’S HANDBOOK




DRUNKARDS OF THE ISSUE


DRUNKARDS OF THE ISSUE APRIL 02: BRETHREN FAST RACING TEAM




DRUNKARD OF THE ISSUE SEPT 03: DAVID SIPOS




DRUNKARD OF THE ISSUE MAY 03: CHUCK ROY




INEBRIATE INTERVIEWS


THE GHOST IN THE MACHINE




26 QUESTIONS WITH DOUG STANHOPE




PUNCH DRUNK: AN INTERVIEW WITH DAVID WONDRICH




CLASH OF THE TIGHTEST


BOUT 3: JACK KEROUAC VS. RICHARD NIXON




THE FINALS: GLEASON VS. BUKOWSKI




BOUT 13: HEMINGWAY VS. GLEASON & BOUT 14: BUKOWSKI VS. FAULKNER




THE GREAT DRUNKS


LADIES THIRST, PART 3




THE FOUNDING DRUNKARDS




BLOOD AND WINE, PART ONE: THE LOST BOYS




HISTORICAL HOOCHING


THE FIRE INSIDE: THE GREAT DRUNKARDS AND WHAT THEY DRANK




STRANGE BREWS: JEPPSON’S MALORT




MAY: 365 REASONS TO GET DRUNK




CHOOSE YOUR BOOZE

Which liquor is going to get you through this political season?

 * Gin: Like Vodka, But Classy
 * Rum: Will Fix It or Burn It to the Ground
 * Tequila: The FUN Psychopath
 * Straight Booze, No Chaser
 * Whiskey: Drink Free or Die
 * Vodka: The Clear Choice
 * Scotch: Don't Let the Tie Fool You



 Loading ...



 * April 17: Billy Holden’s B-Day
   It's William Holden's birthday. One of the finest actors of Hollywood's
   Golden Age, and he had the Oscar to prove it, Bill starred in many top-shelf
   movies, including Love Is a Many Splendored Thing, The Wild Bunch, The Bridge
   on the River Kwai, Stalag 17, Picnic, and a personal favorite, Sunset
   Boulevard. Soooooooo, did Bill drink? Why, yes he did. They called him an
   alcoholic most of his career, but Bill didn't seem to mind. Holden was what
   you would call a risk-taker. Others might call him mad, bad, and dangerous to
   know. The way he figured it, we weren't put down on this crazy planet to
   cower in the shadows until Death creeps around. He liked to push the limits,
   which sometimes got him in trouble with the Man. Top quote: "I don't really
   know why, but danger has always been an important thing in my life. To see
   how far I could lean without falling, how fast I could go without cracking
   up."

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