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To make Medium work, we log user data. By using Medium, you agree to our Privacy Policy, including cookie policy. Homepage Open in app Sign inGet started MUDDYUM BOOTLEG HUMOR Write with UsPromptsNewslettersOutlaw InfoRosalie BergOly Awamba ComicsWriters Retreat FollowFollowing Join The Community Be Part of the MuddyUm Community Join Now Just Published The Eternal Every Morning Struggle To Balance Creamer and Coffee THE ETERNAL EVERY MORNING STRUGGLE TO BALANCE CREAMER AND COFFEE Too much, too little, too early, too late Carol Lennox Feb 10 FBI to Big Catheter: ‘You’re In a World of Hurt’ FBI TO BIG CATHETER: ‘YOU’RE IN A WORLD OF HURT’ Ghost catheters channel profits, drain Medicare Andrew Rodwin Feb 10 Don't Mind Us, We Are Just Tearing One Off In This Public Restroom DON'T MIND US, WE ARE JUST TEARING ONE OFF IN THIS PUBLIC RESTROOM When you're hot, you're really hot Toni Crowe Feb 10 On Conspiracy Theories and Why Bad Stuff Happens ON CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND WHY BAD STUFF HAPPENS But it’s more fun to make stuff up sappgregg Feb 10 A Midlife Woman’s Guide to Valentine’s Day Romance A MIDLIFE WOMAN’S GUIDE TO VALENTINE’S DAY ROMANCE Forget everything you think you know and do these things instead Lisa Hides Feb 10 How Word Connections Is Ruining My Life HOW WORD CONNECTIONS IS RUINING MY LIFE My proposal for The New York Times Janie Emaus Feb 9 The Rise of the Clydesdale Tampon Ad, Super Bowl LVIII THE RISE OF THE CLYDESDALE TAMPON AD, SUPER BOWL LVIII I’m here for the estrogen Amy Sea Feb 9 Do You Make This Dinner Party Mistake? DO YOU MAKE THIS DINNER PARTY MISTAKE? Never break the unspoken rule Anthony Robert Feb 9 Freshly Baked Chronos, the God of Time, Has Your February Writing Prompts CHRONOS, THE GOD OF TIME, HAS YOUR FEBRUARY WRITING PROMPTS Because I felt like it T. Kent Jones Jan 30 Recently Boosted Scorpio’s Guide to Astrological Attitude SCORPIO’S GUIDE TO ASTROLOGICAL ATTITUDE The dark side of the horoscope Gael MacLean Feb 4 The Story Of Dave THE STORY OF DAVE He Doesn’t Know Who I am Jadyn Feb 6 If Neurons Could Talk IF NEURONS COULD TALK Here’s what I’d say David Milgrim Feb 5 Nobody Wants A 72-Inch-Long Baby NOBODY WANTS A 72-INCH-LONG BABY You might, but I didn’t Stephanie Wilson Feb 5 Cogito, Ergo Sum COGITO, ERGO SUM I Think I’m Thinking L. J. Kopf Feb 5 Why Dogs Don’t Read WHY DOGS DON’T READ An explanation from my loyal companion Chris Yanda Feb 4 A Few Greatish Single-Panel Cartoons by L.J. Kopf A FEW GREATISH SINGLE-PANEL CARTOONS BY L.J. KOPF It’s only the beginning L. J. Kopf Feb 4 Tech…Tech…Tech TECH…TECH…TECH The clock is ticking L. J. Kopf Feb 3 Six Things Schools Can Do to Make Life Less Hellish for Parents SIX THINGS SCHOOLS CAN DO TO MAKE LIFE LESS HELLISH FOR PARENTS How to revamp the educational system to give Mom and Dad a frigging break already Rodney Lacroix Jan 29 If They’re Not Counting Down the Days Until You Leave, You’re Doing Something Wrong IF THEY’RE NOT COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS UNTIL YOU LEAVE, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG How to be an elite-level houseguest Sawyer Kuhl, the Quiet Dad Jan 24 How (Not) to Impress Your Nigerian Friends HOW (NOT) TO IMPRESS YOUR NIGERIAN FRIENDS With what we do the mos — extraaaaaaa Blessing Oluchukwu Awamba Jan 22 Stop Choosing Imaginary Sides STOP CHOOSING IMAGINARY SIDES Like it or not, there is only one tribe and we’re all in it David Milgrim Jan 19 How To Recreate Scenes From Jaws Movies Using Everyday Household Items And A Giant Crocheted Shark HOW TO RECREATE SCENES FROM JAWS MOVIES USING EVERYDAY HOUSEHOLD ITEMS AND A GIANT CROCHETED SHARK You’re gonna knit a bigger boat Rodney Lacroix Jan 15 About MuddyUmLatest StoriesArchiveAbout MediumTermsPrivacyTeams