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Books
25 QUESTIONS THAT MIGHT HELP YOU FALL IN LOVE AGAIN
A NEW BOOK SUGGESTS THOUGHT-PROVOKING OR FUN DISCUSSION STARTERS TO BUILD
CONNECTION
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By
Christina Ianzito,
AARP
Comments
Published December 13, 2024
Photo Collage: AARP; (Source: Convergent Books; Casey and Meygan Caston © Rachel
B Hughes)
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Not long after Casey and Meygan Caston married some 21 years ago, they found
themselves feeling disconnected and disillusioned with their relationship, and
almost called it quits. “We fought over everything,” says Casey, 46. “We were
really hurting.” Not willing to give up, they began some hard work that led in
2018 to a self-published book, 365 Connecting Questions for Couples, listing a
year’s worth of open-ended questions designed to get romantic partners talking
and deepening their bonds.
“In modern days, we’ve lost the art of asking really good questions,” notes
Casey, who lives with Meygan, 42, and their two teenage children in Southern
California. (The pair also founded Marriage365, a “marriage-solutions company,”
offering relationship courses, coaching and such.)
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The book sold 100,000 copies within five years. Now they’ve come out with a
revised version, swapping out 200 of the old questions with new ones, based on
feedback from readers and discussions with hundreds of couples who used the
book. Some questions are likely to stir the pot a bit (“How many times have you
been in love? Tell me about it.” Um, check please!); others are just kind of
fun, like, “If a movie were being made about us, who would play you and me?”
“Make it work for you and your relationship,” Casey suggests. You can try to
tackle one question a day, but “a lot of times couples will binge a bunch at
once.”
We worked with the Castons to find 25 questions likely to be most relevant for
people who have been together for many years. Among the 25, Casey notes, are
“some we’ve heard were helpful over and over again from our couples who are
older, and some are favorites for our own marriage.”
But, in a way, it’s not about the questions: It’s about being curious about and
present for the other person.
25 QUESTIONS FOR RECONNECTION
1. Who was your childhood hero and why?
2. If you could pick one year of life to do over, which year would it be and
why?
3. What are some ways you would like to have more fun in our relationship?
4. If you could build your dream house, what would it look like?
5. If you could talk to your teenage self, what would you say?
6. What do you think is the best and worst thing about getting older?
7. When you come home from work, what can I do or say that will make you feel
the most loved?
8. Do you think it’s okay to break the law if there are extenuating
circumstances? Why or why not?
9. What does our ideal sex life look like for you in this season of life?
10. Which of your five senses do you think is the strongest? Why do you think
that?
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11. Would you rather win one million dollars today or 10 million dollars in 10
years? Why?
12. In what ways do you consider yourself to be unique?
13. If someone wrote our love story into a book, what would the title be? Why?
14. What is one bad habit that you need to break but do not want to?
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15. Do you believe that some things in life are unforgivable? Explain.
16. How did we make each other smile this week?
17. What do you believe is one of the greatest inventions ever created and why?
18. In your opinion, what is the difference between a sincere and an insincere
apology?
19. If you could whisk us away for a romantic holiday, where would it be and
why?
20. If you could be wildly talented at one thing, what would you choose?
21. What was your bedroom like when you were a teenager?
22. If our house were on fire and you knew that our family members and pets were
safe, what things would you want to rescue from the fire?
23. Which 10 words would you use to describe yourself?
24. What is one chore you hate doing and would like to outsource?
25. Based on our personal experience, what advice would you give to someone who
is dating?
From 365 Connecting Questions for Couples (Revised and Updated) by Casey Caston
and Meygan Caston
%{postComment}%
Christina Ianzito covers scams and fraud, and is the books editor for aarp.org
and AARP The Magazine. Also a longtime travel writer and editor, she received a
2020 Lowell Thomas Award for travel writing from the Society of American Travel
Writers Foundation.
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