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15 December 2023
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THE BETOOTA ADVOCATE

 * Breaking News
 * IN-Focus
 * Politics
 * Sports
 * The Nation
 * Local News
 * World News





CONCRETER GETS HILARIOUS KRIS KRINGLE FOR SPARKY

15 December 2023


BLOKE WHO REGRETS SOUTHERN CROSS TATTOO BEGINS NEW LIFE AS BRAZILIAN 

Local News


OLD BLOKE WHO THOUGHT HE WAS WARREN BUFFETT FOR BUYING A HOUSE IN 1972 GETS
BITCOIN SCAMMED BY A 23-YEAR-OLD PUNJABI DUDE WHO SPEAKS...

Local News


SUPERMARKET GIANT BLAMES CUSTOMERS’ WILLINGNESS TO PAY HIGHER PRICES FOR HIGHER
PRICES



BREAKING NEWS


Breaking News


CONCRETER GETS HILARIOUS KRIS KRINGLE FOR SPARKY

15 December 2023

Breaking News


INEXPERIENCED CAMPER ATTEMPTS TO TALK ROUND THE CAMPFIRE INSTEAD OF STARING INTO
IT SILENTLY

14 December 2023

Breaking News


BRITISH CONSERVATIVE SICK OF HAVING ALL THEIR TOWNS NAMED AFTER TRADITIONAL
OWNERS

14 December 2023

Breaking News


WELL DRESSED COUPLE WALKING AWKWARDLY SLOW DEFINITELY ON A HINGE DATE

14 December 2023

Breaking News


MARKETING MANAGER FOR DATA ENTRY FIRM HITS LINKEDIN WITH PROFOUND CHAT GPT
GENERATED CHRISTMAS MESSAGE 

14 December 2023

Breaking News


OUTER METRO MUM VISITS THE COOL CLOTHES SHOP TO BUY HER HUSKY MIDDLE AGED SON
SOME INAPPROPRIATELY TIGHT JEANS THAT SHE WILL GUILT HIM...

13 December 2023


BETOOTA PODCAST



 


THE BETOOTA ADVOCATE PODCAST

A weekly dissection of the Australian zeitgeist with high profile Australian
guests. Clancy Overell and Errol Parker, editors of the explicitly raw but
iconic Outback Australian newspaper known as The Betoota Advocate report
fiercely – without fear or favour.



IN-FOCUS


KID ATTEMPTS TO SNAP CABLE CAR WIRE USING HIS MENTAL POWERS, SENDING IT
PLUMMETING TO THE VALLEY FLOOR

14 December 2023



JESUS REVEALS OVER HALF THE PRAYERS HE’S CURRENTLY RECEIVING ARE FROM
COURIERSPLEASE CUSTOMERS PRAYING FOR THE SAFE DELIVERY OF THEIR PACKAGE

13 December 2023


“WHAT ARE THESE SPOILT HIPSTERS COMPLAINING ABOUT, THIS PLACE IS MAD” SAYS
BRISBANE MAN IN MERIVALE VENUE FOR THE FIRST TIME

12 December 2023


LOCAL GP REMAINS UNWILLING TO SIGN OFF ON ROOTED MAN’S INABILITY TO WORK BECAUSE
HE’S STILL BREATHING

12 December 2023


OPINION: IF THE GOVERNMENT CUTS STUDENT VISA INTAKE, WHO WILL BE OUR EXPLOITABLE
UNDERCLASS OF WORKERS?

11 December 2023

POLITIC


QLD MEDIA INITIATE STEVEN MILES BY QUIZZING HIM ON WHICH ORIGIN PLAYERS HE WENT
TO SCHOOL WITH

12 December 2023



QLD LABOR TO COPY WEST TIGERS LEADERSHIP MODEL BY REPLACING PALASZCZUK WITH
MULTIPLE PREMIERS

11 December 2023


WOOLWORTHS ATTEMPT TO AVOID SENATE INQUIRY BY OFFERING TO BRING BACK OOSHIES

4 December 2023


OVERSEAS DIPLOMACY DURING HEIGHTENED GLOBAL TENSIONS EXACTLY THE SAME AS
HOLIDAYING IN HAWAII DURING BUSHFIRES, SAYS CONSERVATIVE BOOMER WITH A STRAIGHT
FACE

1 December 2023


DUTTON DECLARES ISLAMOPHOBIA IS BACK ON THE MENU AFTER BEING BUOYED BY DUTCH
ELECTION RESULT

24 November 2023

SPORTS


WA POLICE INVESTIGATE WHETHER STOLEN SECTION OF THE KWINANA FREEWAY IS BEING
HIDDEN IN THE MIDDLE OF OPTUS STADIUM

14 December 2023



HE’S BACK!

14 December 2023


BARRY O’FARRELL SELECTED AS NEW TIGERS CHAIR DUE TO HIS EXPERIENCE WITH TURNING
ONCE POPULAR HOSPITALITY VENUES INTO LUXURY APARTMENTS

13 December 2023


WEST TIGERS SACK ENTIRE BOARD AND REPLACE THEM WITH THE FURSTON GUY

12 December 2023


NATION’S BOYISHLY HANDSOME HALFBACKS EXHALE IN RELIEF

7 December 2023


“RIGHTO FELLAS, SORT IT OUT IN THE NETS” SAYS NATION TO MITCHELL JOHNSON AND
DAVE WARNER

6 December 2023




THE NATION


MITCHELL JOHNSON SPOTTED WARMING UP AT THE BACK OF PERTH STADIUM IN A PAKISTANI
KIT


SMALL TOWN INFLUENCER DYING FOR SOME CLEAR AIR BEFORE POSTING NYE THIRST TRAP


NORTH QUEENSLANDERS GET A LOOK AT NEW PREMIER IN SAME CIRCUMSTANCES THEY’VE MET
EVERY OTHER ONE OF ‘EM


HUSBAND REACHES PEAK DESIRABILITY WHILE PUMPING A ZOOPER DOOPER AND WATCHING BBL
IN WET BOARDIES


VICTORIANS HOLIDAYING IN CAIRNS TOLD THEY CAN EITHER START SANDBAGGING OR MAKING
SANDWICHES BUT GET OFF THAT FUCKEN SUNBED


SMH NEWSROOM INSTALLS BLACKOUT CURTAINS TO AVOID SEEING THE 50,000 PROTESTORS IN
THE CITY EVERY WEEK




LOCAL NEWS


BLOKE WHO REGRETS SOUTHERN CROSS TATTOO BEGINS NEW LIFE AS BRAZILIAN 


OLD BLOKE WHO THOUGHT HE WAS WARREN BUFFETT FOR BUYING A HOUSE IN 1972 GETS
BITCOIN SCAMMED BY A 23-YEAR-OLD PUNJABI DUDE WHO SPEAKS...


SUPERMARKET GIANT BLAMES CUSTOMERS’ WILLINGNESS TO PAY HIGHER PRICES FOR HIGHER
PRICES


PUB CHEF SENDS TRAINEE FOR A SERVO RUN AFTER WEIRD CUSTOMER ORDERS THE PIE, MASH
& PEAS


ONE NIGHT STAND MAKES HIMSELF PERMANENTLY UNCONTACTABLE AFTER SPOTTING SCRUBS
SEASON 9 IN HER TV CABINET


COUPLE HIDES A FEW SNEAKY ENGAGEMENT FLICKS IN STORY, FOR THE REAL FANS



WORLD NEWS


“HOLY SHIT. THIS HAS GOTTA STOP” SAYS ALBO AFTER READING FOLDER TITLED ‘GAZA’
THAT SAT ON DESK FOR 60 DAYS

13 December 2023



TAYLOR SWIFT MAKES A BOLD STATEMENT: “FREE P.. FREE PALE.. FREE PALE ALES FOR
CONCERT DADS!”

8 December 2023


KISSINGER’S POSTHUMOUSLY RELEASED SPOTIFY WRAPPED SURPRISINGLY REVEALS AUSSIE
DUO AS TOP ARTIST

1 December 2023


TRIBUTES FLOW FOR ONE OF THE WORLD’S MOST BELOVED WAR CRIMINALS: “DEAD AT 100,
FAR TOO LATE”

1 December 2023


RIDLEY SCOTT WASTES $200 MILLION IN FUTILE ATTEMPT AT MAKING GREATEST NAPOLEON
MOVIE OF ALL TIME

24 November 2023


SNOOP DOGG NOW WORKING ON GRUNGE ALBUM AFTER WEED WITHDRAWALS RESULT IN
INTROSPECTIVE MOOD SWINGS

21 November 2023


BUNCH OF CONVICT LOSERS WIN THE WORLD CUP

20 November 2023


DENMARK IGNORED BY EVERYONE OVER DANISH FETA NAMING RIGHTS BECAUSE NOBODY CARES
ABOUT DENMARK

6 November 2023


WORLD’S SCIENTISTS AND ECONOMISTS BEGIN QUESTIONING THEIR LIFE WORK AFTER TONY
ABBOTT LABELS THEM A CULT

2 November 2023


KIM KARDASHIAN RELEASES RANGE OF MALE UNDIES THAT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A
STIFFY

1 November 2023


IRISH-AMERICAN PRESIDENT NOT VERY IRISH WHEN IT COMES TO PALESTINE

31 October 2023



BETOOTA OUTFITTERS

 

The Betoota Supply Coop & Saddlery is the only store in town that ships around
the world.





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ABOUT US
Australia’s oldest newspaper. As a small and independent regional newspaper from
far-west Queensland, we pride ourselves on reporting fair and just news with the
authenticity that rivals only the salt on the sunburnt earth that surrounds us
here in the Queensland Channel Country.
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 * Our History
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