www.news.com.au
Open in
urlscan Pro
23.204.64.110
Public Scan
URL:
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/dating/too-many-people-are-in-sunk-cost-fallacy-relationships-id-rather-...
Submission: On October 05 via api from US — Scanned from AU
Submission: On October 05 via api from US — Scanned from AU
Form analysis 3 forms found in the DOM
<form id="weather-widget_enter-location" class="weather-widget_enter-location">
<input type="text" id="weather-widget_location" placeholder="Enter your postcode" pattern="[0-9]{4}">
<input type="submit" value="Ok" id="weather-widget_submit">
<label class="weather-widget_error"></label>
</form><form class="navigation_search"><input class="navigation_search-input g_font-body-s" placeholder="Search" aria-label="Search" title="Search" type="text"><button class="navigation_search-btn" type="submit" name="Search" aria-label="Search">
<div class="icon-sprite-item" style="width: 16px; height: 16px"><svg>
<use xlink:href="#magnifier"></use>
</svg></div>
</button></form><form id="weather-widget_enter-location" class="weather-widget_enter-location">
<input type="text" id="weather-widget_location" placeholder="Enter your postcode" pattern="[0-9]{4}">
<input type="submit" value="Ok" id="weather-widget_submit">
<label class="weather-widget_error"></label>
</form>Text Content
Deals of the Week
6:50PM Thursday, October 5th, 2023
In the know quiz
Sydney
Today
13 °/ 23 °
SET YOUR LOCAL WEATHER
Sign Up
Log In
* My account
* Sign Out
* National
* BREAKING NEWS
* POLITICS
* CRIME
* COURTS & LAW
* NSW & ACT
* Politics
* Crime
* Courts & Law
* QUEENSLAND
* Politics
* Crime
* Courts & Law
* VICTORIA
* Politics
* Crime
* Courts & Law
* SOUTH AUSTRALIA
* WESTERN AUSTRALIA
* NORTHERN TERRITORY
* TASMANIA
* WEATHER
* World
* BREAKING NEWS
* PACIFIC
* ASIA
* NORTH AMERICA
* US Politics
* SOUTH AMERICA
* AFRICA
* MIDDLE EAST
* EUROPE
* UK Politics
* CORONAVIRUS
* Australia
* Global
* Economy
* Health
* Closures
* Lifestyle
* HEALTH
* Health Problems
* Mental Health
* Wellbeing
* Diet
* FITNESS
* Inspiration
* Weight Loss
* Exercise
* PARENTING
* Pregnancy
* Babies
* Kids
* Teens
* School Life
* FOOD
* Eat
* Drink
* Restaurants & Bars
* Food Warnings
* RELATIONSHIPS
* Dating
* Sex
* The Sealed Section
* Marriage
* Family & Friends
* FASHION
* Fashion Shows
* Designers
* Fashion Trends
* Celebrity
* BEAUTY
* Face & Body
* Cosmetic Surgery
* HOME
* Interiors
* Outdoors
* DIY
* Pets
* REAL LIFE
* True Stories
* Good News
* News Life
* LIFESTYLE VIDEOS
* HOROSCOPES
* Travel
* TRAVEL IDEAS
* Cruises
* Luxury
* Adventure
* Short Breaks
* Ski & Snow
* Road Trips
* Food & Drinks
* DESTINATIONS
* Pacific
* Asia
* North America
* Europe
* New Zealand
* Africa
* Middle East
* Central America
* South America
* TRAVEL ADVICE
* Tips & Tricks
* Flights
* Accommodation
* Money
* Airports
* AUSTRALIAN HOLIDAYS
* NSW & ACT
* Northern Territory
* Queensland
* South Australia
* Tasmania
* Victoria
* Western Australia
* TRAVEL VIDEOS
* Entertainment
* CELEBRITY LIFE
* Hook Ups & Break ups
* Celebrity Photos
* Celebrity Kids
* Celebrity Deaths
* Royals
* CELEBRITY STYLE
* Red Carpet
* TV & RADIO
* TV Shows
* Reality TV
* Streaming
* Radio
* Morning Shows
* Current Affairs
* Flashback
* MOVIES
* Upcoming Movies
* New Movies
* Movies Reviews
* MUSIC
* Music Festivals
* Tours
* BOOKS & MAGAZINES
* Books
* Magazines
* AWARDS
* Oscars
* Golden Globes
* Grammys
* ARIAS
* Logies
* Emmys
* ENTERTAINMENT VIDEOS
* Technology
* ONLINE
* Social Media
* Security
* Internet
* Hacking
* GADGETS
* Mobile Phones
* Tablets
* Cameras
* Wearables
* HOME ENTERTAINMENT
* TV
* Computers
* Audio
* GAMING
* SCIENCE
* Space
* Archaeology
* Human Body
* Animals
* ENVIRONMENT
* Climate Change
* Sustainability
* Natural Wonders
* INNOVATION
* Inventions
* Design
* MOTORING
* Motoring News
* New Cars
* Luxury
* HiTech
* Car Advice
* On the Road
* TECHNOLOGY VIDEOS
* Finance
* WORK
* At Work
* Careers
* Leaders
* BUSINESS
* Breaking News
* Technology
* Banking
* Travel
* Retail
* Mining
* Manufacturing
* Media
* Other Industries
* MONEY
* Costs
* Investing
* Budgeting
* Wealth
* Tax
* ECONOMY
* Australian Economy
* World Economy
* Interest Rates
* Federal Budget
* REAL ESTATE
* Selling
* Buying
* Renting
* Sydney & NSW
* Brisbane & QLD
* Melbourne & VIC
* Adelaide & SA
* Perth & WA
* MARKETS
* Australian Markets
* World Markets
* Australian Dollar
* SMALL BUSINESS
* SUPERANNUATION
* FINANCE VIDEOS
* Sport
* AFL
* NRL
* CRICKET
* Cricket Live Scores
* TENNIS
* MOTORSPORT
* F1
* V8 Supercars
* Moto GP
* SPORTS LIFE
* Champions
* History
* FOOTBALL
* A-League
* EPL
* OLYMPICS
* BOXING
* GOLF
* BASKETBALL
* NBA
* UFC
* RUGBY
* Wallabies
* HORSE RACING
* Expert Opinion
* Tips
* NSW Racing
* VIC Racing
* SA Racing
* QLD Racing
* WA Racing
* Punter's Life
* CYCLING
* NFL
* MORE SPORTS
* AMERICAN SPORTS
* SPORT VIDEOS
* Shopping
* SALES & DEALS
* TECH
* FASHION & ACCESSORIES
* BEAUTY
* HOME & GARDEN
* LIFE
* HEALTH & WELLBEING
* COUPONS & DEALS
* Lifestyle
* Relationships
* Dating
TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE IN ‘SUNK COST FALLACY’ RELATIONSHIPS – I’D RATHER BE SINGLE
It’s a pattern that so many relationships fall into but Jana Hocking says that
if this is you, then you must leave now.
Jana Hocking
@janahocking
4 min read
October 5, 2023 - 5:00PM
Dating Advice: The six types of men to avoid on dating apps
Video Player is loading.
Play Video
Pause
UP NEXT
Heartwarming moment, groom left speechless at wedding
00:30
Unmute
Loaded: 0%
0:00
Stream Type LIVE
Remaining Time -0:00
Current Time 0:00
/
Duration 0:00
Video Autoplay
Log in
Premium Feature
Switching off the video autoplay is available only to news.com.au subscribers.
If you are a subscriber, please log in and access the video settings again.
1x
Playback Rate
Captions
* captions settings, opens captions settings dialog
* captions off, selected
Fullscreen
This is a modal window.
Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window.
TextColorWhiteBlackRedGreenBlueYellowMagentaCyanTransparencyOpaqueSemi-TransparentBackgroundColorBlackWhiteRedGreenBlueYellowMagentaCyanTransparencyOpaqueSemi-TransparentTransparentWindowColorBlackWhiteRedGreenBlueYellowMagentaCyanTransparencyTransparentSemi-TransparentOpaque
Font Size50%75%100%125%150%175%200%300%400%Text Edge
StyleNoneRaisedDepressedUniformDropshadowFont FamilyProportional
Sans-SerifMonospace Sans-SerifProportional SerifMonospace SerifCasualScriptSmall
Caps
Reset restore all settings to the default valuesDone
Close Modal Dialog
End of dialog window.
Close Modal Dialog
This is a modal window. This modal can be closed by pressing the Escape key or
activating the close button.
5
news.com.au02:54
DATING ADVICE: THE SIX TYPES OF MEN TO AVOID ON DATING APPS
02:54
Dating Advice: The six types of men to avoid on dating apps
YOU JUST WATCHED
YOU ARE WATCHING
video title
Watch again
Continue watching
SHARE
Related content
NOW PLAYING
Resume
Dating Advice: The six types of men to avoid on dating apps
02:54
UP NEXT
* 00:30
Heartwarming moment, groom left speechless at wedding
Cancel
* 00:58
Eldery sisters reunited after nine years apart
Cancel
* 00:20
Goat photobombs couple's marriage proposal
Cancel
* 04:07
"Love-bombing was the first red flag"
Cancel
* 00:39
Taylor Swift's power move she uses on men
Cancel
* 00:32
Sam Kerr confirms engagement to girlfriend
Cancel
* 01:12
Steph Claire Smith opens up about leaked photos
Cancel
Pause
Unmute
Ad
Current Time 0:03
Loaded: 0%
0:02
Stream Type LIVE
Seek to live, currently playing liveLIVE
Remaining Time -0:12
1x
Playback Rate
Picture-in-Picture
/
Duration 0:15
Fullscreen
Your video will play after the ad
Journalist and dating guru Jana Hocking unpacks six different types of men you
may want to avoid when playing the field on dating apps.
Up Next
Cancel
Video paused due to user inactivity
Continue watching?
Yes
Journalist and dating guru Jana Hocking unpacks six different types of men you
may want to avoid when playing the field on dating apps.
More from Dating
OPTICAL ILLUSION REVEALS SECRET LOVE LANGUAGE
‘HOT’ OFFICE TREND THAT NEEDS TO BE STOPPED
SEVEN WORDS ‘PROVE’ YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING
I’m going to share an unpopular but true fact: we all know someone who has
invested way too many years in a relationship that is dead.
Perhaps it’s your best friend, a parent, a work mate. But every day you’re
hearing about some new fight they’ve had with their partner, and it sounds
bloody horrible.
Heck, I’ve done it.
I once stayed with a guy for an extra year simply because I adored his dog and
our cute little apartment. Was I thriving in the relationship? Nope. Were we a
great match? Absolutely not, we couldn’t have been more opposite.
I found myself dropping weight rapidly because of stress, and I look back on
that year with regret. My career suffered for it and I was far from healthy. But
back then I felt like I had put in too much time and effort to simply quit.
I look at friends who are still in a similar situation to what I was and all I
can think is LEAVE.
But they don’t. They keep on plodding down that dud relationship highway,
occasionally experiencing a high – like a nice holiday where they both threw
down their swords, or a romantic dinner. But a week or perhaps a month later
they are back to their same patterns.
Why? Because they’re a bad match. The relationship is already dead, they just
keep trying to revive it.
Jana Hocking says leave that dud relationship. Picture: Instagram
They feel like they’ve spent so many years working on their relationship that
they fear quitting it now would be a waste. I’ve got one friend who constantly
moans, “I’ve spent so much time working on our relationship and I would hate to
think it was all for nothing. What will I have if I leave?”
Happiness. That’s what you will have. Oh, and a lot less misery.
I’ve never really been able to put a name to this dilemma, but this week as I
was stomping around Centennial Park on my ‘hot girl walk’ and I came across a
podcast that went deep into this exact problem.
It’s called Do You F*cking Mind hosted by Neuroscientist Alexis
Fernandez-Preiksa and she was discussing something called “Sunk Cost Fallacy”
which sounds a little boring, but trust me it hits hard.
Basically, Sunk Cost Fallacy is the phenomenon where someone is reluctant to
abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it,
even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial.
For example, someone staying in a job that pays well, despite being miserable.
Or someone keeping their business open even though their service is no longer
profitable.
Or what I’m noticing a lot lately among friends, staying in a long-term
relationship because you think people will judge you if you leave.
Well as someone who has made the scary jump and left a relationship despite the
societal pressure to stay partnered up can I just say: it is worth it.
Watching couples (from my single point of view) has given me a new perspective
that’s allowed me to feel mighty happy about my current status. I watch partners
tear each other down, ignore each other, fight constantly and treat each other
like muck.
And don’t get me wrong, I know plenty of couples who are really a match made in
heaven – and that’s what I’m holding out for. But these couples who stay
together because they’ve got kids, or because it would be too hard to divide
assets etc just feel like they are settling for a miserable life.
Podcast host Alexis gave the best advice for people in this kind of situation
saying:
“You can’t quit because people are going to think the worst of you. Don’t
flatter yourself, no one is thinking about you, they are thinking about
themselves. They’re thinking you are judging them.”
She further explained that staying in a Sunk Cost Fallacy relationship “makes
you act against your best interest. You are doing things that are not going to
benefit your mental health, your overall happiness … and most importantly your
future. You’re stuck in the loss and you’re making it bigger.”
But here was her biggest Oprah Ahh-haa moment: “You’re also cockblocking
yourself from anything that is going to be in direct conflict with what you’re
staying in. Sure, you’ve spent the last ten years being miserable in a
relationship, but what if you could spend the next ten in a happy one. Or even,
in a happily single situation.”
I know what I would be picking, in fact I did! And yet so many people choose to
stay in a tedious situation … why … because they feel like they’ve sunk too many
years in a relationship to walk away. It’s madness when you actually think about
it.
So do what I did and sit down and write a list of pros and cons. If the cons are
far outweighing the pros, then I would start making an exit plan.
MORE COVERAGE
Two things women really don’t like in men
Man no woman wants to date
And as a child of divorced parents, can I also say that honestly, honestly, you
are doing them a favour by leaving an unhappy marriage. Being brought up in a
home full of fights and discomfort is far more disruptive than seeing two
parents thriving in happier situations.
Food for thought …
Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking
*
*
*
Read related topics:Jana Hocking
We Recommend
CommonSearches
Five 2024 VW Atlas Offers That Will Inspire You To Get One
PromotedPromoted
|CommonSearchesLearn More
Undo
nation
Seniors In Arizona To Receive $3.1 Billion In Funding Towards Window
Replacements
PromotedPromoted
|nationSearch Now
Undo
GrowthForce
Outsourced Accounting, Controller, and Bookkeeping Services
PromotedPromoted
|GrowthForce
Undo
Life Insurance
Seniors Under 85 Years Old Can Get Up To $500k In Life Insurance For $16/Month
PromotedPromoted
|Life Insurance
Undo
Volvo XC40
The New Volvo Might Be The Ultimate Vehicle For Seniors (Especially At These
Prices)
PromotedPromoted
|Volvo XC40
Undo
More related stories
Dating
OPTICAL ILLUSION REVEALS SECRET LOVE LANGUAGE
The personality test image, created by Ukrainian artist Oleg Shupliak, features
an angry wolf running from a home into a moonlit forest.
Read more
Dating
‘HOT’ OFFICE TREND THAT NEEDS TO BE STOPPED
A Brisbane woman has issued a warning for all Aussie workers, urging them not to
get caught in trap that too many people seem to be falling for.
Read more
Dating
SEVEN WORDS ‘PROVE’ YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING
A woman has divided social media with her claim that one sentence could prove
your partner is cheating on you.
Read more
Close ×
*
*
*
*
*
*
* Sign Up
*
Log In
* SIGN UP
* Registration
* Connect
* In The Know Quiz
* Newsletters
* Competitions
* ABOUT US
* Welcome to news.com.au
* The Team
* Our Values
* Code of Conduct
* Shopping
* Coupons
* HELP AND SUPPORT
* Contact us
* FAQ
* General Feedback
* Advertise with us
* Site Map
* Licensing & Reprints
* OUR NEWS NETWORK
* Kids News
* The Daily Telegraph
* Herald Sun
* The Courier Mail
* OUR PARTNERS
* Kidspot
* Body+Soul
* realestate.com.au
* FoxSports
* CODE Sports
Our Apps
*
*
A NOTE ABOUT RELEVANT ADVERTISING: We collect information about the content
(including ads) you use across this site and use it to make both advertising and
content more relevant to you on our network and other sites. Find out more about
our policy and your choices, including how to opt-out.Sometimes our articles
will try to help you find the right product at the right price. We may receive
payment from third parties for publishing this content or when you make a
purchase through the links on our sites.
* Privacy policy
* Relevant ads opt-out
* Cookie policy
* Terms of use
Nationwide News Pty Ltd © 2023. All times AEDT (GMT +11). Powered by
WordPress.com VIP
Sydney
Today
13 °/ 23 °
SET YOUR LOCAL WEATHER
Sign Up
Log In
* My account
* Sign Out
Keep on reading
relationships
Tinder date caught in ‘despicable’ actA US woman has revealed her shock after
discovering her Tinder date had invited two other women to dinner in order to
“speed up the process of finding the perfect three-way”.
Group 3
Undo
health
Shocking video shows ‘tranq’ zombiesDistressing new video shows addicts
stumbling in a trancelike state along sidewalks strewn with burning trash heaps
at the epicentre of Philadelphia’s “tranq” drug epidemic.
Group 3
Undo
real life
Mother has all her limbs amputated after eating tilapiaA California woman had
all four of her limbs amputated after she ate some tilapia that was contaminated
with a deadly bacteria, her friends say.
Group 3
Undo
relationships
‘Entitled’ act from bride-to-be divides internetShe knew what she wanted, so she
reached out and grabbed it.
Group 3
Undo
' ' '
' ' '
real life
‘I’m sexually assaulted every time I go out’News.com.auAn Australian influencer
with millions of followers has claimed she rarely goes outside since gaining
internet fame because she’s regularly “sexually assaulted” by fans.
Undo
health
Returning traveller tests positive for highly contagious diseaseNews.com.au
Undo
travel updates
State Aussies are fleeing in drovesNews.com.au
Undo
celebrity life
Miley Cyrus realised mid-concert that Liam Hemsworth marriage was
overNews.com.au
Undo
Online Shopping Tools
No More Free Returns? Amazon Releases New Fees
PromotedPromoted
|Online Shopping Tools
Undo
Window Replacement Grant
Seniors Are Getting Up To 40% Off Brand New Window Replacements
PromotedPromoted
|Window Replacement Grant
Undo