www.theonion.com
Open in
urlscan Pro
151.101.66.166
Public Scan
Submitted URL: http://theonion.com/
Effective URL: https://www.theonion.com/
Submission: On June 08 via api from US — Scanned from DE
Effective URL: https://www.theonion.com/
Submission: On June 08 via api from US — Scanned from DE
Form analysis 0 forms found in the DOM
Text Content
America's Finest News Source. ShopSubscribe HomeLatestNewsLocalPoliticsEntertainmentSportsOpinion America's Finest News Source. * Home * Latest * News * Local * Politics * Entertainment * Sports * Opinion AboutThe Onion Store AdvertisingPrivacyJobsTerms of Use * * * * HomeLatestNewsLocalPoliticsEntertainmentSportsOpinion MILLIONS DEAD AFTER GOD ACCIDENTALLY DROPS AC UNIT OUT OF HEAVEN TRENDING * STUDY FINDS SUICIDE RATE HIGHER AMONG NOOSE OWNERS * TEMU SELLING UYGHUR MUSLIM FOR $1.49 * GRANDFATHER’S EYES LIGHT UP WHILE DESCRIBING MEMORIES OF OLD COUNTRY BUFFET * ‘IT IS THEIR FINEST ALBUM YET,’ READS PRESS RELEASE WRITTEN BY BAND’S BASSIST * PARENTS DEVOTE EVERY SECOND TO GETTING DAUGHTER INTO GOOD HAREM * YELLOWSTONE BISON GORES WOMAN WHO REFUSED TO DELETE UNFLATTERING PHOTOGRAPH * APOLOGETIC PAT MCAFEE MAKES DONATION TO CHARITY THAT HELPS WHITE BITCHES * MAN RIDING MANIC EPISODE RIGHT TO THE SHITTING STARS EMBARRASSED DAVID ATTENBOROUGH REALIZES HE SPENT 10 MINUTES DESCRIBING STILLNESS OF DUCK DECOY WEALTHY HOSPITAL PATIENT ORDERS 3 OF EVERY PROCEDURE COSTCO TO STOP SELLING BOOKS YEAR-ROUND INCONCLUSIVE STUDY FAILS TO IDENTIFY WHOSE WATER GLASS WAS WHOSE WATCH Florida Students Given Lifelike Dolls To Simulate Responsibility Of Owning Slave CC Share Subtitles * Off * English Share this Video FacebookTwitterEmail RedditLink Florida Students Given Lifelike Dolls To Simulate Responsibility Of Owning Slave Removed Notre Dame Scaffolding Reveals Construction Crew Accidentally Built Mosque 00:32 Now playing Christians Explain How Jesus Would Handle The Border Crises 00:32 Now playing Secret Service Finds Biden Attempting To Dig Own Grave On White House Lawn 00:25 Now playing Women Explain How They’d Like To Have Their Bodies Restricted Next 00:24 Now playing CHECK THESE OUT Real Estate COLD, DARK TINY HOUSE Breaking News COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY GIVES STUDENTS OPTION TO FINISH CLASSES FROM PRISON American Voices BIDEN SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER RESTRICTING ASYLUM Breaking News BEST PRACTICES FOR POLICING PROTESTS Cartoons BEDMINSTER, BATH AND BEYOND News In Photos YELLOWSTONE BISON GORES WOMAN WHO REFUSED TO DELETE UNFLATTERING PHOTOGRAPH Real Estate COLD, DARK TINY HOUSE Breaking News COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY GIVES STUDENTS OPTION TO FINISH CLASSES FROM PRISON American Voices BIDEN SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER RESTRICTING ASYLUM Breaking News BEST PRACTICES FOR POLICING PROTESTS Cartoons BEDMINSTER, BATH AND BEYOND News In Photos YELLOWSTONE BISON GORES WOMAN WHO REFUSED TO DELETE UNFLATTERING PHOTOGRAPH LOCAL Show all Local EVERYONE AT CAFÉ DISGUSTED TO SEE PARENT SPANKING CRYING BUSBOY LIKE THAT MINNEAPOLIS—Condemning the father for resorting to such a harsh and outdated treatment for an innocent front-of-house worker, patrons at the Culpepper Café told reporters Friday they were disgusted to see a parent spanking his crying busboy like… Local U.S. ARMY RECRUITER HAS BOUND, GAGGED CIVILIAN THAT TEEN CAN SHOOT RIGHT NOW IF HE ENLISTS News In Photos COMIC CONVENTION STAIRS GO UNUSED Local WIZARD REPRIMANDED FOR WATCHING PORN ON HIS WORK ORB Local DAD REMOVING POOL COVER GAGS AFTER FINDING DEAD MERMAID POLITICS Show all Breaking News NATION SHRUGS AFTER HEARING TRUMP GUILTY VERDICT, UNPAUSES ‘MILF MANOR’ NEW YORK—In the wake of the landmark trial that made him the first person to both serve as president of the United States and be convicted of a felony, the entire nation reportedly shrugged Thursday after hearing about the 34 guilty charges for… Breaking News SAMUEL ALITO: ‘I TRIED TO TAKE THE FLAG DOWN, BUT MY WIFE HIT ME. SHE HITS ME EVERY NIGHT’ Breaking News TRUMP BOYS ATTEMPT TO BRIBE JUROR WITH BRIEFCASE FULL OF GRAPE UNCRUSTABLES Breaking News SULKING TRUMP TOTALLY UNABLE TO ENJOY ADVANCED SCREENING OF ‘BAD BOYS: RIDE OR DIE’ Politics KAMALA HARRIS PLAYS HOOKY TO SIT IN ‘PRICE IS RIGHT’ STUDIO AUDIENCE IN CASE YOU MISSED IT Breaking News HIMS NOW SELLING BAGS OF CHIPS FOR DEPRESSED, IMPOTENT LOSERS WHO ARE ALSO HUNGRY Breaking News JIMMY CARTER BECOMES SECOND PRESIDENT CONVICTED OF FELONY FOR STICKING UP WAFFLE HOUSE Breaking News CEO WARNS THAT NO STUDENT INVOLVED IN PROTESTS WILL EVER BE HIRED AT GENOCIDE INC. Breaking News BANKRUPT RED LOBSTER RUNS ALL-YOU-CAN-GRAB COPPER WIRING PROMOTION OPINION Show all Opinion TESLA FANS EXPLAIN WHY ELON MUSK DESERVES $56 BILLION PAYOUT Cartoons TEETOTALITARIANISM American Voices MAN WITH SUSPENDED LICENSE JOINS COURT ZOOM CALL WHILE DRIVING Opinion TEACHERS EXPLAIN WHY THEY NEED TO CARRY GUNS IN THE CLASSROOM ENTERTAINMENT Show all Entertainment EMBARRASSED DAVID ATTENBOROUGH REALIZES HE SPENT 10 MINUTES DESCRIBING STILLNESS OF DUCK DECOY Entertainment ‘IT IS THEIR FINEST ALBUM YET,’ READS PRESS RELEASE WRITTEN BY BAND’S BASSIST Now playing 01:51 TikTok DAY IN MY LIFE AS A NONCORPOREAL TRANSDIMENSIONAL ORB Entertainment CULT LEADER NOT EVEN CHARISMATIC Sports MAN STARSTRUCK TO SEE CAITLIN CLARK, INDIANA FEVER AT GREYHOUND BUS STATION Basketball BASKETBALL PLAYER CREDITS KOBE BRYANT FOR INSPIRING HIM TO SCORE 4 POINTS IN REC LEAGUE GAME Baseball NOBODY IN ENTIRE DODGERS ORGANIZATION HAS HEART TO TELL OHTANI WHAT GOING ON WITH INTERPRETER Sports FEMALE ATHLETES REACT TO NIKE’S REVEALING OLYMPIC UNIFORMS