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YOUR LIFE, YOUR WORDS: BEGIN A MEMOIR TODAY
Nancy Seubert
Nancy Seubert has taught memoir-writing classes and facilitated memoir-writing
workshops for nearly 30 years.
In 2005, she published a book of stories by writers in her Life Stories class.
The foreword to the 432-page volume, “The Teacher Who Ate Her Pet and Other True
Stories by 32 People Like You,” was written by Jennifer Granholm, then governor
of Michigan.
The founding editor of Fourth Genre: Explorations in Nonfiction, Michael
Steinberg, said of the book:
The life stories in this anthology are testimonies to the resilience of the
human spirit. The ages, backgrounds, origins, and sensibilities of these 32
adult writers represent the full spectrum of human experience – from childhood
memories to ruminations on life’s final moments. These are, each and every one,
stories of the hopes and struggles, dreams and sacrifices that link us all as
fellow human beings.
Nancy teaches memoir writing online and through the East Lansing MI Prime Time
program.
I created this nine-part video series for people just starting to write their
memoirs,
for people who’ve gotten bogged down in their memoirs,
and for people who want to recharge their memoirs with new ideas and approaches.
Learn a simple, practical way to begin.
Expand your story as you find your footing.
Consider the broad impact of writing down your stories.
Have fun while doing something important.
VIDEO 1: WELCOME AND INTRODUCTION
VIDEO 2: WHAT IS A MEMOIR?
VIDEO 3: BENEFITS OF WRITING A MEMOIR
VIDEO 4: WRITING A MEMOIR: GETTING STARTED
VIDEO 5: TAKE THE FIRST STEP: PINPOINT YOUR STEPPING STONES
VIDEO 6: TAKE THE NEXT STEP: A STORY COLLAGE
VIDEO 7: AFTER FINISHING YOUR STORY COLLAGE: OPTIONS
VIDEO 8: THE CHARACTER ARC
VIDEO 9: TAKING THE NEXT STEP . . . AND THREE INSIDER TIPS
GET “10 TOP TIPS TO IMPROVE YOUR MEMOIR”
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62 RESPONSES TO “YOUR LIFE, YOUR WORDS: BEGIN A MEMOIR TODAY”
1. Sharon McNeil
May 8, 2024
I am a regular person, not perfect, not a polished writer but I’m writing
now thanks to you, Nancy! I am becoming conscious of many forgotten
memories and have an idea book for pop-up memories like the ones you
mentioned in the last video. Another great tip in your informative videos!
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
May 9, 2024
Thanks, Sharon! I’m glad you’re finding the videos helpful.
Reply
2. Bridget Cooper
April 25, 2024
Today I watched videos 1-3. Your father’s cow story, which you found out
about when you interviewed him late in life, is a great example of why
memoirs are so valuable. The scene you described of the cows coming over to
pay tribute at your father’s death was very moving. The 3rd video,
outlining the benefits of writing a memoir, was really good and I plan to
rewatch it. More later. Thank you.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
April 28, 2024
Thanks, Bridget. Good to hear!
Reply
3. Linda Nuttall
April 5, 2024
Nancy, the video series is excellent. You played it down for not being
“produced by…”. I don’t think they are a rough first draft at all. For
having heard all your spiels before in my many moons with you, I was very
engaged through E7 LOL, started to drift a bit with autobiographies. But
given my sleepiness today, you’re a winner. Of course PICTURES grab
people’s attention too. Good addition. A bit of personal storytelling
doesn’t hurt either. Your dad’s story of the cows was a peak example of the
trajectory of a life changing event. I believe the video series is a great
idea to share all the wonderful ways you know to start a memoir. To expand
our frontiers, you draw from the legion of books on writing, using quotes
and passages and encouraging us to use them as source books too.. These
authors teach us all how to be better writers. How to approach writing. How
to think about memoir. And how to laugh and not take ourselves too
seriously. Thank you for being our teacher and pathfinder.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
April 11, 2024
Thank you, Linda. One of the essential tools of writing is simply paying
attention. You do this so well.
Reply
4. Vicky Johnson
April 2, 2024
Nancy, your insight into the writing of memoirs and tips will be greatly
appreciated by all the struggling writers who hope to leave the story of
their life for their loved ones. The importance of leaving “just a piece”
is a reminder that we are the only ones who really can write our stories.
Each page we write reveals our emotions, our personalities, our good, and
yes, even our bad and how we found ways to overcome. Thank you for taking
the time to encourage those who feel the need to write but are uncertain
how to go about started.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
April 11, 2024
Thanks, Vicky. And in a writing group or class, writers can learn from
each other.
Reply
5. Mary Shelton
April 2, 2024
I’ve watched the videos in two different settings. Today I watched from
5-9. I think you have done a wonderful job in short videos to tell the
story of how a person might write a memoir. There were many sections where
you provided lists, or examples, or asked a series of questions that would
really help someone starting to write a memoir.
I found the videos really helpful to me at this moment with many stories
now in my story collage. It was helpful to hear what I might do with them
when I’m done. It was very helpful to get Anna Quinlan’s advice through
you: just do it; it’s valuable; it doesn’t have to be perfect. I’m going to
post these on the wall my office!
Thanks Nancy for letting us view these. I found them very valuable and will
keep them to go back to from time to time.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
April 11, 2024
Yes! It doesn’t have to be perfect!
Reply
6. Mary Shelton
April 2, 2024
I liked that you started this video with the picture of you and your
sister. What a great way to show the passage of time! The many details you
used of what you might write about were helpful. I thought it was helpful
to tell your audience where the least productive place to start was. It
helps to be reminded about how important emotion is to finding a good
story!
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
April 11, 2024
Thanks, Mary. Yes, I have seen many writers stuck in the details of
their earliest memories. You can always pull in early childhood material
later but beginning memoir in a place where you feel drawn emotionally
is quickly productive. But, as I mention in the video, sometimes early
childhood is the place where a writer simply must begin. She or he will
know this. For instance, a traumatic event in early childhood often
demands to be heard first.
Reply
7. Sarah Fryer
March 30, 2024
I have just watched 1-4 so far, and I think you’re doing a great job of
introducing the subject of memoir writing to a broader population. I found
video 2 particularly strong, because you tackle the challenging question of
autobiography vs. memoir quite effectively while sharing excellent examples
of memoir material from your own life story. I love the picture of you
interviewing your father, his very moving story about the dead cows at his
uncle’s farm, and then the picture of cows gathering on the day your father
died. The images and details make this the strongest of the videos I’ve
viewed so far.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
April 11, 2024
Thanks, Sarah. The personal dimension of memoir makes the story more
emotionally accessible to me than autobiography does. Both forms have
their place but I definitely prefer memoir.
Reply
8. Mary Shelton
March 25, 2024
This video did a great job of describing all the ways that writing a memoir
might be helpful. When I started watching the videos I thought well I’m
doing this because it will help Nancy, but in reality it is really helping
me. As you went through the list I thought of the many characteristics that
apply to my own writing. The joy of remembering tops my list.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 26, 2024
Thanks, Mary. It all begins with paying attention.
Reply
9. Deborah Premoe
March 24, 2024
“Leave a little piece of something” Anna Quindlen. I have been fortunate to
have “that little piece of something” in family letters from parents and
grandparents. I treasure them for the voice within them and mourn it as a
lost art. You begin and end the video series with a much-needed encouraging
tone. Also, I am inspired to read more published memoirs. Thanks for that
gentle nudge.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 26, 2024
And it doesn’t have to be perfect!
Reply
10. Deborah Premoe
March 23, 2024
You mentioned two things in this video that spoke to me. One was pairing
photos. I have had such fun searching for photos to accompany my stories.
In fact, there have been occasions when the photo was the inspiration for
the whole story. The other is the table of contents. This is the only place
where chronological seems the best order (over thematic). I don’t want to
write my memoirs in chronological order, only order the collage of stories
as such. In doing so, the last story will take on a sense of closure.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 26, 2024
I’m surprised the thespian didn’t pick up on making a video recording,
which could include an excerpt of a song paired with a memory!
Reply
11. Deborah Premoe
March 23, 2024
Since this was the second time I listened to your video, I applied a story
to the questions that you raised to see how closely it fit. The story was
about how terrified I was to get my polio shot in 1953. I was pleased to
discover that it fit well within the questions raised. Also, when I am in
the creative zone, I do immerse myself in the time like a time traveler.
Yes, it is invigorating to come up with an early draft of your story, like
birthing a baby, some would say. I especially liked your instruction on
putting your story away after you write it. To me, it is essential to the
writing process. It amazes me to see what improvements I make when I look
at a story with “fresh eyes.”
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 26, 2024
You are a model of the writing process!
Reply
12. Deborah Premoe
March 23, 2024
What else can I write about? Perhaps I need to get a copy of the Progoff
book. Some ideas came to me as you were explaining the Progoff model. I’m
sure this would be a helpful resource.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 26, 2024
Deborah, I know you’ve read Anne Lamott’s “Bird by Bird,” a perennial
recommendation of mine. Also Mary Karr’s “The Liar’s Club.”
Reply
13. Deborah Premoe
March 23, 2024
Getting started has never seemed to be a problem for me. It seems the back
of my mind is always on “story search.” As you advised, I am drawn to
events of “emotional import,” especially “coming of age” stories. A guiding
question for me has been: “What sets my generation (the baby boomers) apart
from other generations?” How did I “bump up against the current events of
the time?” Since I have written memoir stories for many years, perhaps the
more relevant question for me is: “Will I run out of stories?”
An added thought: I liked having you refer to writers as the “connective
tissue” to their life events.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 26, 2024
I love that! The back of your mind is always on “story search.” (Quick!
Get the notebook.)
Reply
14. Deborah Premoe
March 23, 2024
The invitation continues with 11 reasons why to write a memoir. “I hope one
or two of them (maybe all of them) are enough to inspire you to continue
learning and writing.” If asked why I was writing my memoirs, I would
always respond with: #1 a family legacy and # 7 producing a document.
Privately, I would also think about the joy of remembering and the freedom
of expressing memories from my perspective. I might even brag to my doctor
during wellness visits how I was “sharpening my memory” through writing.
Reasons I have never thought about, however, are gratitude, empathy from
others, integrative action and wisdom of experience. all benefits for my
own personal growth. During Covid isolation, I wrote about the difficulties
and fear I was experiencing, and I did, in fact, experience mental and
emotional healing (as, I suspect, so many others who shared similar
stories.) I would like to learn more about #11 change your story. You
admitted that it’s “hard to explain.” All told, I now have a more in-depth
response for why I write memoir. Thank you.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 26, 2024
One writer thought of another benefit to memoir that I didn’t mention:
“new insights from past experiences.” In a sense, that’s part of #11
“change your story.” Through writing memoir, we stumble into new
insights that change our stories. A victim story can become a survivor
story. A story of betrayal can become a story of individuation or coming
into one’s own. A story of disillusionment can become a story of
enlightenment. A story of isolation can become a story of belonging. A
story of dogma can become a story of seeking or pilgrimage.
Reply
15. Deborah Premoe
March 23, 2024
I appreciated the clearly explained differences between autobiography and
memoir. I can now articulate why memoir writing appeals to me: one of many
personal stories told by the main character that describes events that are
(in some way) transformational. There is such freedom in not trying to be
objective and impartial! It is my story, from my perspective. Implicit
within your discussion also is an invitation for ordinary people (like
myself) to engage in memoir writing.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 26, 2024
Yes, ordinary people are fascinating. It goes back to river water under
a microscope. So much life is there.
Reply
16. Deborah Premoe
March 23, 2024
Nancy, you are a role model for all teachers: personable presence,
authentic voice and tone, credentialed, clear, encouraging, organized,
identifiable… You also projected yourself in the video as a “real time”
presence, as I listened to the videos, I found myself responding to you as
though you were in the room. (I.E. nodding my head in agreement.)
Resonating with me in video one was what you said about memoir writing
being a natural urge to want to reflect on your life. I also liked the
comparison of river water under the microscope…”it takes magnification to
make it visible.” Very fitting,
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 26, 2024
Thanks, Deborah. I think a person can begin a memoir without intending
reflection but at some point we are invited to come to terms with the
reality that life is more than a sequence events.
Reply
17. Connie Detjen
March 23, 2024
Writing memoir is helping me to make sense of the life that I have lived
for these 71 years. For example, I had often wondered how my mother did it.
From where did her inspiration come? Mom wasn’t one to talk about such
things and, since she is dead, I can’t ask her. Writing about her was a way
to discover some answers about her source of strength and it was a window
into my own life because she was such a strong influence for me.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 26, 2024
You speak for me and many others, Connie. Memoir leads to others and
then back to ourselves.
Reply
18. Sharon Hoerr
March 19, 2024
Thank you, Nancy, for this series of short videos–helpful and challenging
both. I’ve learned so much and am still doing so.
Reply
19. Sharon Hoerr
March 19, 2024
Wow, I have had a lot of surprising insights from writing these short
memoirs we have written for your classes. 1) My own mother was not happy to
have had me so soon in her marriage and was an inattentive young mother. 2)
How does a 3yo get bothered by an Evangelical Bible study group that
teaches, “The only way to Heaven is through believing in Jesus?” It really
bothered me that all those folks who had lived before Him or who had never
heard of Him wouldn’t go to Heaven. 3) I was not a very good big sister to
the brother 3 years younger than I was.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
Sharon, your brilliant mind was awake to insights when you were a
toddler. It’s impressive — and fun — to hear about them in your memoir.
Reply
20. Dee Williams
March 19, 2024
All I have heard sounds helpful to me.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 21, 2024
Thanks, Dee.
Reply
21. Sharon Hoerr
March 18, 2024
Reflecting on our internal experiences and the emotions we encounter is
sound guidance for writing memoirs.
Reply
22. Sharon K Buckley
March 17, 2024
Don’t think about it, just do it! That’s what I do, and I think it’s great
advice for newcomers. And I do write down subjects as they come to me, also
great advice. With that, right now I’m going to write a story!
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
Go for it!
Reply
23. Sharon K Buckley
March 17, 2024
I’m going through a transition now, I think. And I intend to write it in a
memoir when I’m finished with your presentation. I have not thought of my
stories as having a transition section, perhaps there has been, but I don’t
see it. But I can see it coming now, perhaps I can identify it in the story
I am about to write. I need to realize I am suffering consequences, and
cannot revert to my old ways. This module is very precise, a helpful
diagram, and easy to understand.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
Transitions are a memoirists friend. I’m glad you’re tuning in to yours.
Reply
24. Sharon K Buckley
March 17, 2024
No story collage for me! I just spit it out, whatever it is that is in my
head at the moment. I can’t set aside a story, think about another one, go
back to the first. I think I’m different. Having written 70 stories
already, some in the middle of the night, to try to “craft” a story or make
a collage is so foreign to me. For a person who might write like me, just
let it flow, whatever the memory is, good or bad, sit down and write it.
Pick something emotional, good way to start I think.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
You make a good point, Sharon. Story collages are not helpful for
everyone!
Reply
25. Sharon K Buckley
March 17, 2024
Video 5: Structure – this is good advice for newbies, I’d say. However, I
have NO structure. I write in the middle of the night or whenever a memory
strikes me. I cannot, for instance, remember starting school and I cannot
relate to making a table of contents, etc. Good advice I think though for
brand new writers, an option of where to start, what to think about.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
Sharon, I believe you have an internal structure that is so clear you
take it for granted. It’s like the young fish who swims up to the older
fish and says, “I’ve been hearing about water? What is it?” Structure
can be helpful to new writers and it’s also critical for experienced
memoirists who want to help their readers walk more sure-footedly into
their stories. Without structure readers might feel like they are
walking into a mine field. What’s going to blow up next? That said,
there are all kinds of structures. Some, like yours, are internal.
Reply
26. Sharon K Buckley
March 17, 2024
Video 4: Best place to start is something with emotion. Excellent advice I
think. Not to start with “I was born…” Boring. Something has happened today
that actually I can’t WAIT to write about, I’m so sad, so angry. Sometimes
it will hit you in the middle of the night, something you think of you need
to write down. Like I’m feeling right now. I liked this video – short, to
the point.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
Emotion expressed with honesty and vulnerability should help your
readers to understand your experience and care what happens to you.
Reply
27. Sharon French
March 17, 2024
I’ve been struggling with the miasma of many stories (begun or done) that
have no logical place right now. In terms of an organized approach for my
next of kin to enjoy later on. I think the stepping stones suggestion will
provide a system of fifteen separate folders to sort my current efforts
into as well as then readily adding a spot where more memoirs can then be
added to the proper categories. And I am grateful for this tool you have
suggested.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
I’m glad your Stepping Stones will help as you organize, Sharon.
Reply
28. Sharon French
March 17, 2024
Great photos! Getting started for me was as simple as the first long ago
class. “Grist for the Mill” is a useful tool that you handed out. This will
be a great resource for anyone looking to get started just like I was!
Look for the places of emotional importance. Very key.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
Thanks for the reminder about “Grist for the Mill,” Sharon.
Reply
29. Sharon French
March 17, 2024
I love the simple definition offered of carving out a story of personal
meaning to share. And especially the example offered of the upstate farm,
the sad demise of all those cows, and then their return in spirit to munch
on the grass surrounding your father’s home when he passed. A very moving
moment to have experienced.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
Thanks, Sharon. Those cows were really quite a surprise. (Not the cow
pies they left behind though!)
Reply
30. Sharon French
March 17, 2024
Not beginning but instead I am firmly entrenched in self-discovery and
sometimes in need of a reset or ways to emerge from repetitive themes in my
writing. I’m not always sure of where to go with future efforts. Currently
trying to organize existing memoirs to maybe get a handle on the next
steps.
I think this is a great way to get your expertise at encouraging writing to
the general public. Bravo!
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
Thanks, Sharon. I know what you mean about gutter-balling to the same
old theme. Sometimes it means the writer needs to hit the theme harder
to crack the shell and extract the insight; sometimes it means the
writer is bored telling the same story with different details and needs
to switch to something completely different; and it could be something
altogether different. Organizing is a productive way to get some
distance on it.
Reply
31. Sharon K Buckley
March 17, 2024
Video 3: Nice introduction. Informative. Granddaughter in California said
after reading the book she’d always wondered about various family things,
and she was so sorry I had such a lousy childhood but it’s what has made me
into the strongest most wonderful woman that I am.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 21, 2024
Your granddaughter got that right, Sharon.
Reply
32. Sharon K Buckley
March 17, 2024
RESPONSE TO VIDEO 2: LOVED this one – all your points seem so apropos to
things I’ve felt when writing. One particularly: its MY STORY, the way I
remember it all happening. Own it, and realize its my truth, how I felt,
how I reacted, how I was hurt or whatever the feelings were, still are.
Yes, helpful physically, mentally, emotionally.Thanks for this chapter. I
loved it.
Reply
1. Nancy Seubert
March 20, 2024
Thanks, Sharon. Yes, sooner or later most memoir writers have to come to
terms with how to write about other people. There are many factors to
consider and you’ve named one of the critical ones. It’s your story from
your perspective. I’m glad Video 2 resonated with you.
Reply
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YOUR LIFE, YOUR WORDS: BEGIN A MEMOIR TODAY
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