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HOW SAVING MONEY IS LIKE LOSING WEIGHT… AND HOW IT’S REALLY NOT

January 25, 2024January 25, 2024 Piggy 17 Comments

In 2024, the second most common New Year’s Resolution is to save money.

The first most common? To lose weight.

Dear readers, I have made both of these resolutions. I slogged through months of
dieting—both of spending and of eating—dragging my goals and expectations behind
me. And I emerged from the experience wiser, richer… and the exact same weight.



That’s right. Today we’re talking about dieting.

Controlling one’s body and controlling one’s finances are often brought up in
the same breath. And I think it’s useful to talk about the ways in which they’re
similar—but also so very different!

For the purposes of this article, I’m going to define a diet as a temporary
change of exercise and eating habits for the purposes of changing your body
shape and weight. Temporarily cutting out all carbohydrates counts as a diet, as
does implementing a points system a la the WeightWatchers diet. But we wouldn’t
include, say, omitting gluten because you have Celiac disease. Having a diet ≠
dieting.

If that’s not your jam… blame our Patreon supporters! Those gorgeous,
charitable, artistically gifted people specifically chose today’s topic. And as
they literally pay the bills around here, I’m going to lay my heart (and my
cellulite) bare according to their whims.

Today’s topic includes discussions of dieting, weight, fatphobia, and eating
disorders. I’m going to use the word “fat” a lot because we believe in
reclaiming it as a neutral description so that it loses its power to demean and
insult. If you’d rather not read this post, it’s okay. I promise I still love
you.

Read More


YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT THEIR RETIREMENT PLAN

January 11, 2024January 11, 2024 Piggy 5 Comments

I don’t give a flying nun about inheriting money when my parents eventually buy
the farm. As far as I’m concerned, it’s their hard-earned dough. They should use
every blessed penny to enjoy their retirement and live comfortably until the day
they die.

In fact, I truly hope they do!

They can give me a much greater gift instead of an inheritance: the knowledge
that their retirement and passing won’t be a financial burden on me.

Knowing that my parents have a solid retirement plan will grant me enormous
peace of mind. I can’t imagine a more generous gift than the ability to enjoy
our last years together without worrying about how to pay for their care. I want
to compete with my mom at nightly Jeopardy! when she’s shrunken and toothless,
not take a second job to keep her TV on! (Note: There would be no competition.
My mother is a ruthless, cutthroat home Jeopardy! contender. Fools and kings
have fallen before her. She’s banned from pub trivia in three states.)

A solid retirement plan for my parents will also allow me to focus on growing my
own wealth. That way, when I get to the age where I’m allowed to be
embarrassingly blunt in public, I won’t be dragging down the finances of my
younger relatives.

Read More


THE BEST PERSONAL FINANCE BOOKS OF THE YEAR, ACCORDING TO OUR VERY EXACTING
STANDARDS

December 27, 2023December 27, 2023 Piggy 2 Comments

Ah, the liminal space between Christmas and New Year’s Day. Time to eat snacks,
play video games, and read some books!

While we can’t feed you delectable morsels directly from our freshly manicured
fingertips, nor beat Margit the Fell Omen in Elden Ring for you, we can help
with the third one. For we Bitches are avid readers! Every year we scour the
shelves for excellent books on money, glean their wisdom, and pass on the best
ones to you.

Without further ado, here it is: The Bitches Get Riches guide to the best
personal finance books of the year.

Read More


WOULD YOU RATHER OWE TAXES OR GET A TAX REFUND THIS APRIL? THE ANSWER MIGHT
SURPRISE YOU!

December 20, 2023December 20, 2023 Piggy 3 Comments

Gird your loins, everyone! Tax season is almost upon us.

International readers, today you are dismissed. Go prance off to enjoy your
state-sponsored healthcare or hold a wealthy politician accountable for their
actions. Or, if you enjoy being baffled and horrified by uniquely American
shitfuckery, stick around! Because nothing will make you more grateful to live
in Denmark, Canada, or Namibia than the tax laws of the United States.

A few years ago I asked Lauren this question: “When it comes time to file your
taxes, would you rather receive a tax refund or owe taxes to the government?”

“Get a tax return. No question,” she answered.

Which surprised me! Because as far as I was concerned, I’d much rather owe taxes
than get a tax refund. I told her as much, to which she said “Just wait until
your income increases. You’ll change your mind real quick the first time you get
a five-figure tax bill.”

So what was that all about? Which Bitch had the right answer? Is there a “right”
answer?

Today I want to go over a little-known quirk of the tax system, one that affects
taxpayers from all across the income spectrum. And in the end, I’ll go over what
you can do about it to save yourself the most money in the coming tax season.

Read More


IT’S NOT YOUR IMAGINATION—SECONDHAND STUFF IS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN EVER

December 11, 2023December 10, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 23 Comments

Have you noticed that secondhand stuff is more expensive than it used to be?
Because I absolutely have!

Since I retired, I’ve been on a bit of a secondhand shopping spree. You see, I
inherited almost all of my current furniture. I acquired it randomly from old
roommates, friends moving across the country, my grandparents’ downsizing, and
the legendary Allston Christmas. Now that work isn’t gobbling up my best hours,
I finally have the bandwidth to upgrade these pieces. That rickety side table I
found on the side of the road can now be transformed, Cinderella-like, into a
charming antique that some sucker let go of for $50!

… Yet I’ve noticed something disturbing. The suckers have grown few and far
between.

Dummies selling solid oak headboards they found in Grandma’s attic for a sawbuck
are like fireflies. I remember vast clouds of them in my childhood… but now, I’m
thrilled if I see a dozen in a season. Where have they gone?

Today, I’m explaining my hypothesis for why secondhand stuff is more expensive
than it used to be. I see a variety of factors that have far-reaching impacts on
everything we buy and sell. We love noticing inflection points when traditional
personal finance wisdom shifts from the “useful” column to the “ok thanks
Grandpa” column—and this is definitely one of those moments. Let’s explore the
answer together!

Read More


THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO GROWING YOUR SALARY

November 8, 2023November 8, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 16 Comments

We’re Millennials. Which means we graduated from college in 2009, just in time
for the Great Recession to really fuck with our job prospects and salary levels.
Nevertheless, we persisted, managing to carve careers out of the bleak
post-recession landscape, a feat that eventually led to us being amateur career
advice-givers right here on the internet!

I lead with all this because circumstances are feeling… familiar. The COVID-19
pandemic has hammered Gen Z especially, just as they’re starting their careers
and building independent lives. And no matter your age, the pandemic took a toll
on a lot of folks’ livelihoods. They’re facing challenges like what we
experienced, and we hate it. So our time has come! Learn from your
slightly-elders, younglings!

Graduating in a recession leads to earnings losses of about 9% compared to those
who graduate in balmier financial climates. The pay gap takes a full decade to
become statistically insignificant. For the average worker, that amounts to five
grand in a single year. The lost opportunities to invest some of that income—as
well as the recession-graduate’s stymied options for other jobs—creates a
staggering wealth gap.

Worst of all, it’s completely fucking unfair, because those affected were kids
when this hot mess was cooked up, yet still the ones who have to eat it. You
have every right to be salty about that.

So here’s what we suggest you do to get yourself back up to the level you
deserve.

Read More


YANELY ESPINAL GETS REAL ABOUT FINANCIAL STRATEGY IN NEW BOOK MIND YOUR MONEY

November 2, 2023November 1, 2023 Piggy 3 Comments

During our reign as the overlords of Bitches Get Riches, Kitty and I have met a
lot of interesting and successful people: millionaires, rich startup founders,
wealthy media darlings, best-selling authors. But every once in a while we meet
someone way more interesting.

The first time we were booked to speak at an event with Yanely Espinal, we did a
collective double-take as soon as she started talking (and not just because of
her delightful Brooklyn accent). Yanely was talking about strategies for
breaking the cycles of generational poverty, how to make wealth-building
accessible, and practical ways to motivate, educate, and inspire normal-ass
humans to reach their money goals.



Most folks probably know her as MissBeHelpful on YouTube and Instagram. But
Yanely has been making a name for herself all over the place as a storyteller
who makes financial concepts straightforward and blessedly non-boring. The
Brooklyn native also left her job as an elementary school teacher to direct
general do-goodery at the educational outreach nonprofit Next Gen Personal
Finance.

And naturally, we dig her with a real big shovel.

I caught up with Yanely to talk about her new book, Mind Your Money, and find
out what she has against exorbitant credit card interest rates.

Read More


5 HORROR MOVIES ABOUT MONEY TO TERRIFY YOU THIS SPOOKTOBER

October 25, 2023October 25, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 15 Comments

Just in time for Halloween, we’re here to pitch five of our favorite horror
movies about money. We just noticed it’s been far too long since we wrote
something unabashedly silly. Forgive us!

You may not know this about us, but we Bitches are high-key obsessed with scary
movies. If we’re hanging out together, odds are high we’ll throw on something
with ghosts, ghouls, werewolves, or axe-wielding serial killers. There are three
main reasons this genre appeals to us:

 1. Horror movies are creative. They often have tiny budgets, which forces
    filmmakers to work with what they have and hone in on what matters. Many
    household names got their start in the proving grounds of horror. It’s a
    chance to see fascinating examples of undiscovered genius.
 2. Horror movies expose uncomfortable truths about life and society. All great
    spooky films are about something real. The surface-level scares of a zombie
    horde are symbolically linked to our deepest anxieties about other people.
    The vampire is the unknown outsider; the werewolf the uncontrollable id. The
    horror genre boldly leaps into subjects where comedies and dramas fear to
    tread.
 3. Adrenaline is a helluva drug. We’re too old to know where to get good drugs.
    We have to make them the old fashioned way: by abusing our endocrine
    systems. With art!

And really, isn’t that what’s interesting about money, too? Our ~*whole deal*~
is trying to make the best, most values-aligned decisions we can with limited
funds. This article is extremely on-brand and aligned with our core mission. DO
NOT try to tell us otherwise!

Today, we’re plugging a few of our favorite horror movies with a financial
twist. The terrifying root of each one is something related to money and the
power it brings.

Read More


UPDATE: DO I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW ABOUT MY PARTNER’S FINANCES?

October 4, 2023October 3, 2023 Piggy Leave a comment

Friends, I come to you today breathless with excitement. Remember Anonymous Rex,
the bitchling who wrote to us about their secretive significant other? The one
whose partner was all like “I can know about your finances, but you can’t know
about mine“? The one whose partner was most likely hiding something sketchy from
Anonymous Rex, according to moi?

They wrote back.

And oh baby is it juicy:

> Hey Bitches,
> 
> Anon with the cagey significant other here. Turns out they were alarmingly
> deep in debt, were not honest about how much they were working, and more. They
> were very upset about having to mention anything financial, and were pissed
> that I thought I had a right to know their personal matters.
> 
> So, I broke up with them. Not just because of the finance stuff, though it was
> definitely the straw that broke the camel’s back. And I feel freer and happier
> than I have in years. Which probably sounds really heartless, because you’re
> supposed to be all torn up about ending relationships, especially ones that
> are as serious as that one was, but… it’s true. I don’t know what it says
> about the relationship if when it ends, all you feel is overwhelming relief,
> but… that’s how I felt.
> 
> Thank you so much for your response to my question. It’s good to know that it
> isn’t crazy or invasive or unreasonable to want to know a significant other’s
> financial situation/how they handle their finances. I was beginning to think
> it was. I’ll keep that “personal finance is personal—not private” mantra in my
> head, going forward.
> 
> -Anonymous Rex again



No but in all seriousness it sucks to be vindicated in this way. The full-body
orgasm I receive from being right about something is somewhat dampened by being
right about bad shit happening.

Read More


LIFE INSURANCE: RESPONSIBLE INVESTMENT OR WASTE OF MONEY?

September 27, 2023September 27, 2023 Lauren Torres ("Kitty") 6 Comments

I didn’t understand anything about life insurance until I was in my late
twenties. I’d just started a small blog with a friend (you wouldn’t have heard
of it), and it was unclear how many people were reading it. Until one day, when
a shocking email arrived in our inbox. A company wanted to give us money to
recommend a product.

The product was life insurance.

Jess (that’s Piggy to the uninitiated) and I regarded this offer with the
confused-yet-intrigued energy of hungry fish watching a worm wriggle on a hook.
Obviously we hadn’t had the audacity to make a preemptive affiliate marketing
policy. Life insurance sounded like the kind of thing responsible adults should
have, right? And it would be cool to offset the cost of running the site,
wouldn’t it? We agreed to take a few days and devote our shower thoughts to the
idea.

Like many a wise rainbow trout, we decided against the hook. No matter who you
are, easy money is always a fat and juicy temptation. But we agreed we’d rather
run the blog at a loss than sell random crap to our readers. Happy with this
decision, we sat down to our inbox to find two more unsolicited affiliate
offers.

These products were also life insurance.

In the years since, they’ve never stopped coming. We get a new one at least once
a month. Now, we have the experience to understand why life insurance companies
are so eager to pay bloggers to rep their stuff. Today, we’ll permanently burn
that bridge by explaining how it works—and why we think most life insurance
isn’t worth it for the majority of our readers.

Read More


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