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CHRISTMAS CRACKERS RAMBLINGS




DIABETES TYPE 2

I had my first diabetic review Friday. I was nervous because I wasn’t 100% sure
what to expect. I knew I’d need a blood test, and thought I would have the
finger test one as well.

So what happened.l?

First of all I was asked date of birth, and then booked in for part 2 of my
review in a month’s time I went to put the appointment card in my pocket, only
to find out I’d got my trousers back to front. (Problem.with elasticated ones)
gave me and the reviewer a giggle. Then I has my BP done which was high,
followed by a blood test (I had to have extra blood tests due to losing hair,
not that you’d notice because I was blessed with really really thick hair, now
it looks like most other people’s hair) well as usual my blood didn’t want to
come, and I felt sorry for Liz, she has been doing my blood tests for years and
is one of the few who can get to my deep-seated veins straight away. Sadly today
was not that day but after another try she found one.

Next my height was done and my weight, I knew I was overweight because I could
feel more than a inch, well quite a few really, however the results showed I’d
lost 3lb8oz this week, so felt chuffed with that. Finally I had to lay slightly
on the couch, shoes and socks removed and my feet checked, thankfully all fine
there. That was it. Nothing to worry about and very straight forward.

I continue to use Second Nature (a NHS diabetes course) and glad I’m.already
seeing results. It’s not easy and I have been naughty on one of the days and
screwed up with my food, I was in bed virtually all day (a bad day, with a cold,
that affected the whole of my body, my RA was dreadful and my triginimal
neuralgia had kicked in) I had ready made microwave lasagne which my husband had
brought to help me, he’d done a long shift and I was grateful for anything. I
couldn’t hold water down, so was drinking lemon tea which contains sugar.

Anyway, I’m back on track and not being hard on myself. I’m learning a lot from
second nature and if you’ve been newly diagnosed like me, I recommend them. The
read a day articles that they put up are very interesting and help you choose
the right lifestyle without being pushy.

Anyone who knows me will tell you, I don’t do what I’m told to do, if you are
pushing something, I will be defiant. I was dreading second nature, I thought it
was going to be like a class. It’s not, it’s easy to understand and not too hard
to follow. My coach, Carly answers any questions and even was able to help by
guiding me to one of their articles about emotional eating. I eat when the pain
from my illnesses is too high and I can’t cope (this is a lot of the time) it’s
helped so far

Anyway been awake since 4, so going back to sleep.

Have a wonderful day, and thank you for reading my post x

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Feb 11 2023


SECOND NATURE

Having been diagnosed with Diabetes type ii, I am actively trying to hopefully
reverse it.

I start a course on Monday called Second Nature which is run by the NHS. I’ve
brought myself a smart watch that came today, so I can watch my steps, heart and
ha ha sleep (what is that????)

Friday I attended a diabetes meeting that was done by our doctors. I found it
very interesting and learnt a fair bit about the disease and also how our
cholesterol is also important.

So yesterday I started 5 days of fasting for 18 hours to give my pancreas a
rest. How am I finding it? Not too bad, apart from the evenings. I don’t
normally eat in the morning anyway, so starting eating at 12 noon is not a
problem, but stopping at 6 is hard. However I done yesterday and am currently
cooking some new potatoes and eggs for my salad nicoise and also doing stewed
fruit so I can have it with Greek yoghurt. Today I can do these because I am
having a good day. My worry is when my body doesn’t have a good day and
struggles to even move, then that is when I hit the real challenges.

Anyway I am looking forward to kicking this one disease into touch hopefully.
Apparently it is very hard but not impossible to reverse diabetes and you have
to keep on top, especially when you’ve been on steroids (prednisone) for years
and in particular a very high dosage for a while when I had Giant Cell Ateritis
*GCA However I believe I can reverse it and keep it controlled.

Have a wonderful day xxx

Feb 03 2023


THE SALT PATH

For Christmas, my husband brought me Raynor Winns The Salt Path. I was looking
forward to reading it, having seen the reviews on Between the Covers TV
programme. It interested me because Moth had an incurable illness and told his
life was going to be shorter than expected. Having several illnesses myself, I
wanted to read this book, knowing Moth had defied Doctors, something again I
have done myself, I felt it would be good to read how someone defies odds
stacked against them.

I’m a big believer that we can fight things either physically, mentally or
spiritual. First we have to work out what our body or mind need. Then we break
it down and work up. Like most people who have serious illnesses I hit
depression and can hit some seriously low points, but I kick myself up the bum
and start anew. Anyway going back to the book. Having been screwed by the
justice system ourselves 15 years ago the bigger companies can pay someone to
fight for them, where most individuals cant and they know this. This is where I
could relate again to Raynor and Moth. However, I take my hat of to them, I
couldn’t do what they did and walk the coastal path.

I’m still reading the book so can’t really give my full feedback on it, however
after what I felt was a slow start and obviously the book was going to be
depressing, but I found it a bit too depressing at first, almost giving up on
the book, I’m glad I stuck with it, I’m now really enjoying it and the people
they meet.

It’s different from my normal books, I love SAS books from the likes of Chris
Ryan, Dan Mills, Ollie Ollerton, Jason Fox, Billy Billinghan, Chris Hunter etc,
I also love the classics DH Lawrence, The Brontes, Jane Austen and then I like
what I call my soft easy to read books, Derek Tange, Miss Read, Lesley Pearse,
Iris Gower. So The Salt Path was something different for me, and it’s good to
change and read something different. I would recommend it, though like I said
I’ve not finished it, it’s a good read, and I’m thoroughly enjoying it.



Jan 24 2023


ETSY

I love etsy, but traffic isn’t so great. I’m loving making my items, a lot are
not on it yet, but got a few things on.

Please take a nosey at my etsy and any feedback would be very much appreciated.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/CCGIFTSTOLOVE

More

Jan 22 202322nd Jan 2023


ETSY

I’ve got my son getting married to a beautiful Canadian girl next year. She is a
lovely beautiful and fun girl to welcome into our family, and proud to be
calling he4 our daughter in law. They got 3ngaged just before Christmas and we
were all thrilled.

Now we have to start finding money to help where we can for the wedding, so with
the cost of everything going up, I decided I would start my etsy again in hoping
to start saving for the wedding.

I love making things, from knitting sewing, resin, model making etc, and
everyone kept saying I should sell what I make. So what better way than when we
need to make some money.

I’ve put a link to my etsy, if you would like to give me an honest opinion of
what you think of the prices, the items please let me know. I’m always grateful
of constructive feedback. Excited to share the latest addition to my #etsy shop:
Handmade aquamarine green acrylic angel decoration https://etsy.me/3CV1g0M

I’ve been felting today and making acrylic items. Today the items I made are for
myself or family. Just fun items to make.

My etsy is

Jan 17 2023


BEEN A WHILE

Christmas is my absolute favourite time of the year, Carols, lights, delicious
smells all of it is wonderful. This Christmas was a different start.

Our decorations go up on 1st December, 3 trees (OK one is only 3ft) and the
music starts playing. The smell of mince pies fills the air and the house looks
cosy and bright. Anyone who has been to our house at Christmas loves it.

However, this Christmas wasn’t quite normal. On the 2nd, I went to see the
doctor after having enough of the pain in all my bones. I had been told Covid
would take me about 6 months or more to get over, so kind of expected post 8
weeks that it could be the problem. However I needed help, the pain was waking
me up and I was struggling to move just a few yards without excruciating pain.

What I didn’t expect after being felt everywhere to work put the pain, was to be
told it possibly was multiple myeloma cancer. I went home and sat there, not
really taking it in, after all it hadn’t been two years since we lost my sister
in law to cancer, then 5 months later my dad to cancer and then my brother
thankfully who is doing amazing, getting diagnosed with cancer. So I gathered
with that much cancer I surely would be OK. However looking it up, I certainly
understood why she thought I had. I had all the symptoms.

9th December, I needed to see the doctor again, for 9 weeks my throat had really
hurt, and looking in the mirror I saw thar it was no surprise I had problems
swallowing, one side had completely sealed off part of my airways. Before I
could tell the Doctor, she gives me the great news I don’t have multiple
myeloma, tests came back negative and the xrays though were not good news, were
not cancer I have a fracture wedge!!! And my spine shows that osteoporosis has
really got a hold of me, and I will need a op, well better than cancer. I was
also told that I had got diabetes, but that I would need another blood test to
confirm. Yippee, still no cancer though.

After she has told me all this, I tell her I had actually come for my throat.
She presses everywhere, asks questions and then says I’m sorry but I think you
have throat cancer!!!!! OK officially pissed off now. I decide to see my own
doctor who I hadn’t been able to get an appointment with. Nope he agrees that
the doctor did the right thing, my throat had been swollen for over 9 weeks and
it needed to be seen.

22nd December, the ENT consultant phones me up and after talking to me tells me
he doesn’t think it’s cancer, but he can’t rule it out until I have a endoscopy.
The relief to both my husband and I was huge. Though it wasn’t being ruled out,
it was definetly a hope.

Both my husband and I felt we could enjoy Christmas. Busying myself with
wrapping, I suddenly couldn’t see properly from my left eye. At first I thought
I’d got a migraine, but it soon became clear it wasn’t. Typical of me, it
happened just after 17.30. Thankfully after 3 phone calls to different
opticians, all who said I needed to be seen within 24 hours. Specsavers booked
me in for the morning. I was warned I may need an emergency op, so Christmas was
looking miserable again. However thankfully after seeing the optician and tests
done, I was given the all clear and asked if I’d been stressed lately well just
a tad lol.

Christmas was amazing, my husband made it incredible. I wasn’t looking forward
to, but he had done me a wonderful fun stocking, and my Christmas presents were
fantastic, I felt so spoilt. Provably one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had.

Saturday, I saw the ENT consultant who was so wonderful, after checking me over
and examining my nose and throat through a endoscopy I was given the ALL CLEAR,
sjogrens has caused problems, along with long covid. However, all of that is
nothing compared to be giving the all clear of cancer

Wishing you all who have been kind enough to read this all the way through,a
Very Happy New Year to you all xxx

Jan 16 2023


UNDERSTANDING

I’m not sure how to write this, so apologise if its strange. A blog for me is
like a diary, it’s not meant to upset, offend or anything like that. It’s just
my personal life and my ups and downs.

Unfortunately I’m finding I’m having more downs than ever before. I am now
frightened for myself. I don’t want to live with pain, shame and no self worth.
I don’t want to leave my family who I love unconditionally, but I don’t want to
have this emotional and physical pain anymore.

I haven’t slept for months, I get roughly 3 hours, sleeping tablets aren’t
working, breathing exercises aren’t working and I don’t know how to sleep. I
can’t eat properly, I have a sjogrens flare which has been with me far too long
now. I’d had a tooth extraction which has caused so much pain, it got infected
and the swelling won’t go down. I think I maybe having GCA back and I know from
experience that I’d have to take a high dose of steroids a day and become like a
balloon. I’ve never come down fully to my old weight pre last GCA. Due to the
prednisone.

I have fought off so many off some of other illnesses, I’ve kept them at bay,
but there is four that is tipping me over. My sjogrens, my vaginal atrophe
(apologise to anyone reading this for the information), GCA and the pain in my
lungs and back which is doubling me over due to severity. I can only stand for
very short while. I’ve been keeping all my others at bay.

I have a overwhelming feeling no one really likes me, they say nice things and
tell me how wonderful and kind I am, but the truth is due to nerves I talk alot.
I now don’t go out if I can so I don’t talk to people. That way they won’t feel
uncomfortable around me. I am gradually pulling away from everyone I don’t want
to cause them pain and its easier if they don’t feel they need to think about
me.

Knitting and making jewellery to sell for charity is the only thing I’m
interested in. I’m not a great knitter but I do make some lovely dog and cat
blankets and toys. My jewelry is literally just putting jewelry findings
together and giving them to the Maggie Fleming and Karass Sanctuary so they can
get a little bit of money. There is so many genuine kind and wonderful humans
there that look after the gorgeous animals.

I’m sorry that I’m struggling, I’m sorry that I can no longer function properly
anymore. My husband thinks I may have a deficiency and that’s why I’m so bad. My
nails are curling under and I’m exhausted, I’m not talking tired, I’m talking
genuinely exhausted, every movement is painful, it’s like I’m in quick sand
that’s got tar added to it. I’m so exhausted from my health and from life.

I’m tired of life, tired of pain, tired of feeling ashamed of who I am, my home
and everything. I’m tired of people being nasty to each other and tired of being
the joke.

Sep 20 202220th Sep 2022


MONDAY

What a dreadful night, my son lives in Regina, Canada with his long term
girlfriend who is Canadian. With 2 murderers at large there after killing 10
people and stabbing at least 15 more, I am worried. Its a sad and ill world at
the moment. Greed, pain and vanity has taken over from kindness, fairness and
common sense. Also nowadays few people can watch a programme or film, unless
it’s got all the cgi and violence in it.

It was quite a night with thunder and lightning as well, I’ve a phobia of
storms, but I put on headphones and listened to DH Lawrence selection of stories
and wore two eye masks. I came downstairs and my dog came over and sat down in
between my legs knowing I’m scared. I finally got to sleep just gone 5. Not
great when you have a dentist appointment at 9.am.

Thunderstorm last night It was 200 miles long & produces 28,000 strikes!

Anyway 9am I had to have my tooth taken out, I react with bad shakes with
anaesthetic, along with a lack of sleep the shakes were dreadful and the poor
nurse was quite worried bless her. Glad the tooth is out, but at the moment the
pain is really bar. Nurofen hasn’t even touched it yet, but it will get better.

I feel I may have made a mistake by forgiving someone, I believe life is short,
but I feel that maybe there are times that you have to sadly realise that for
your own mental health you have to walk away.



Anyway, hoping that everyone has a good day and that my sympathies go to the
families and friends of the people.who were murdered in Saskatchewan Canada



Sep 05 2022


NICE CLEAN WINDOWS!!!!

The windows have all been cleaned downstairs, however our dog has decided that
they need his artwork on it. Nose pressed firmly against each window and paws on
the patio windows and nose mark.

A home isn’t a home without a dog or two and a cat or 3, 4 5 or 6. Nowadays I
only have the one cat, and a cat that visits for a cuddle and my cats food.

Sep 04 2022


MIXED BAG

Been a bit of a mixed bag of things been happening since I last wrote.

Monday have a tooth out, it’s been causing me pain for quite a while, I finally
plucked up enough courage to phone a dentist and now its going to be taken out.
Not before time, I think it may in the last few days gone on to be infected and
feeling like a abcess.

Friday my kidney consultant phoned to say thankfully I am free of kidney stones.
It appears that I’ve had a Stag horn stone along with a lot of little ones, to
be precise a stent full of stones. I’ve got to cut down on meat, sugar and salt.
Bit of a problem because I don’t like vegetables and not keen on fruit, but I
will be trying.

I’m excited because my son and his girlfriend have booked their flights to come
over from Canada to see us. We miss them both so much. It will be lovely to see
them.

My husband is currently painting the bathroom, we have my mum coming to stay and
our house is looking tired. We are not known for our DIY. Mum and I are booked
in to stay at Hever Castle as well. Which I can’t wait for. No.matter what time
of the year, Hever is always beautiful.

I’m still running a high temperature and feeling quite poorly. My whole body is
like its walking through thick tar, and I’m exhausted, physically and mentally.
I’ve finished my antibiotics for kidney infection, but looks like I may need
some more help. I’m a little short with people at the moment and finding the
slightest thing sets me off into tears.

It takes a lot for me walk away from people, this week I’ve come close and still
may do so. I struggle with what goes on in life and have actually come to the
conclusion I’m too wet. Since last year, I’ve really struggled to see the point
of much.

Losing my beautiful black labrador just before lockdown, broke my heart, he was
a good okd faithful boy and a mummys boy, then two weeks before Christmas the
same year, my beautiful girl cat had to be pts, she was so much to me, I miss
her soft fur, her chatting away to me and her moods. I thought 2021 could only
get better, but ot didn’t, it got a lot worse. My S.I.L died of cancer suddenly,
then my dad died shortly afterwards, we didn’t seem to have much time before my
brother got diagnosed with cancer. Now I’m scared of life and.wonder what’s the
point.

I’ve always cared and believe in kindness, I maybe a bit quick with my temper,
but I normally forget within a hour what I was angry about. Anyone who knows me,
will know I don’t fall out with people, I don’t like conflict, so when someone
upsets me, I will get hurt and normally won’t show them, I will continue as
normal. If I’m really angry, I will come away from the situation, and this week
I have had to do that. I’m not sure what to do about it yet, but I don’t want to
hurt anyone, but I don’t think I can take anymore hurt anymore. I want a quiet
life.

Anyway, it’s 1.21am and I guess I should sleep instead of everything going
through my head.

Night and don’t let others take your sunshine away. Xxx

Sep 04 2022


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