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GAY DATING SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA

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Of course, that's only gonna work for so long It is an hour from SF, but they
should also already know where you are on bumble or at least know it's far from
SF on tinder. Odd to swipe right if you don't think it will work logistically.
I'm male and in a happy serious relationship now but it took me over 4 years of
online dating to meet my gf and during those 4 years prior I lived in 2
countries and 3 major cities.

Out of all that I've met maybe 7 or 8 people in person only and just a date or
two with each. In SF alone I've only ever met 3 people in person likely because
I spent the most time here. Generally speaking with online dating most people
are flakey or ghost sometimes even before meeting them in person. I've had great
essay length messaging conversations with people and then they just disappear
without a trace. In SF in particular I just felt even more ignored than usual.

Of all three major cities I've lived in I had it the hardest here. Lots of
people with high standards and very little time. I'm also rather short and a
minority, which probably doesn't help. Unfortunately, I've seen women put this
on their profile "What do you call a guy who is shorter than 5'11"? Pretty
shitty.


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I can tell you that after 4 years of failure with online dating it changes the
way you think about it. You can get super tainted or demoralized. One thing to
remember is to not let it fester in your mind too much. Over time I cared less
about matching and that made me so much happier without that stress on my mind.
Even more so when I finally deleted the apps but that's because I finally met
someone. But what happened was I transitioned into a mentality of just letting
whatever happen happen.

I became more casual with my approach. I didn't overthink things as much. I met
my now gf on OKC by casually messaging her first a simple question. This time I
did get a reply fortunately and it happened to work out that we both have a lot
in common and were actually serious about looking for a partner.

So the best advice I can give you is to not dwell on it too much, don't over
think it, don't give up but keep trying while spending less time on the apps.
Maybe just check it once a day unless you are communicating with a person. I'm
just here to add to the complaints, dating here is poisonous for guys.


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Having lived on the East Coast, it's much better out there. Finding dates are
way easier outside bay area. In all my travels, I randomly swipe great looking
people and usually get matches by end of the day. Here on the other hand I think
people are a lot more picky with having more males than females here. Mine has a
lot of travel stuff since I travel, lots of hiking with pictures of myself in
cool places, and Instagram-worthy food pictures.

Showing that you are physically active like hiking, biking or going out often is
a big plus.


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Be sure to know how to take good pictures, perspective and filter, really.
Getting first dates and beyond are another thing though. Also don't "kill" your
first dates with unattractive stuff - just focus on the person you're talking
to. I play my PS4 a lot which I don't mention and recorded 13, hours on
Runescape which I thankfully haven't played in a while now letting me clean up
and catch up on fashion trends.

Also, I may likely work outside of the country starting in August, but I don't
mention it until I know they'd like me enough to commit traveling and touring
foreign countries for couple years. Ghosting is bound to happen with some of the
dates though - and it's likely not because of you. I grew up in the East Bay,
live in SF.

I'm not opposed to dating a guy outside of SF..

I'm overwhelmed on the tinder front-- I think i dip into that app maybe once
every 3mos? I got sick of it after meeting a string of individuals with
peter-pan syndrome. There's also a ton of open relationship couples looking for
a 3rd female.. All things considered, I'm sticking to looking to meet someone
through an extracurricular or at a show, basically without intending to. It's
been less than easy meeting down-to-earth guys in SF. In the bigger scope of
things, i think it's partly because it's a financial risk to move in with an SO
in the Bay Area, IME people tend to be really skiddish about next steps once
they're in a committed relationship.

You might try relocating for a while. I guarantee that the people whining in
this sub about the difficulty of finding dates that don't immediately ditch them
are not going to flourish in the SoCal dating scene. I haven't gone on a
'proper' date here, but a few months ago I did hit on a local barista and give
her my number. The girl lives in a van, and later on she mentioned that she
already had a partner.

But afterwards she decided she wanted to 'hang out' anyways, so I said sure,
sounds fun. I was out for about 6 hours with her, and remember hitting up a few
teahouses, going to good vibes, having her show me how to smoke weed in a wooded
corner of a parking lot, showing her part of the university, watching the sunset
up on a hill, and for the sake of preventing public urination, I made her hold
her piss for half an hour so I could take her back to my place for her to pee.
Some time after she left town for good to go live in a commune.

It's a shame okcupid changed their formula or whatever. I thought that was the
best way to meet people. Now I used Tinder, which is not quite as hookup
oriented as I initially thought. This seems to be the norm around here for many
single people. Majority of the single people I know here have very active social
lives, and large circle. But they are very prone to jumping around one date to
another constantly since they have such a large circle to choose from.

So this itself can be a curse for people wanting to settle down. Though usually
once they're in their mid to late 30s, desperation will suddenly hit, probably
due to peer pressure of seeing their friends married, all of a sudden they will
look to settle down quickly in their next relationship. Use of this site
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WHAT'S DATING IN THE BAY AREA LIKE FOR YOU? : BAYAREA

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