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incoherent.
grow
I often inwardly writhe at the prospect of growing older. I'm no longer as
afraid of ageing as I was, but to say I am at peace with it would be a gross
untruth.
frank
Two days ago I lost my best friend. I lost him far too soon, and I'm not taking
it well at all.
shadow
Yesterday was a day of firsts for me. In ten years, I went out to a festival for
the first time. I spent some time at a skatepark. I saw a number of people I
hadn't seen in over a decade, perhaps more.
education
I dropped out of college. I have nothing beyond GCSE qualifications. One would
expect that someone in my position would have a dead-end job with very little in
the way of future prospects.
cycle
I'll make no secret of the fact that I have hurt people. I dislike dishonesty,
and it would be dishonest to deny that I am far, far from perfect. So far, in
fact, that I suspect there are those who wish they had never heard my name.
catharsis
So here I am. I am 26, broke, living in a council house with three redundancies
and a failing business. I have nothing to show for it, bar two cats and a never
ending, compoundingly exhausting sense of failure.



©Andreas Doll