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YOU DONT LOOK ADOPTED BY ANNE HEFFRON


4.59 (41,792 ratings by free.4reads.live)
 * Kindle Edition
 * 162
 * English

By (Anne Heffron)
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Adoption can be tricky It's a wonderful thing to be chosen to be brought up by
loving parents but in order for this to happen there has to be an initial
abandonment and this loss can settle like a seed of unease in the adopted person
uite possibly affecting the entirety of his or her life Anne Heffron who'd been
adopted at ten weeks old embarked on a three month journey she called Write or
Die leaving California for her birth place New York City in order to do the one
thing she'd been unable to do her entire adult life tell her own story and not
the one she'd heard all her life that began The day we got you You Don't Look
Adopted is an intimate look at what it means for an adopted person to live in
the world as someone who was both chosen and given away
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4.59 (41,792 ratings by free.4reads.live)
 * Kindle Edition
 * 162
 * English

By (Anne Heffron)

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DESCRIPTION

Adoption can be tricky It's a wonderful thing to be chosen to be brought up by
loving parents but in order for this to happen there has to be an initial
abandonment and this loss can settle like a seed of unease in the adopted person
uite possibly affecting the entirety of his or her life Anne Heffron who'd been
adopted at ten weeks old embarked on a three month journey she called Write or
Die leaving California for her birth place New York City in order to do the one
thing she'd been unable to do her entire adult life tell her own story and not
the one she'd heard all her life that began The day we got you You Don't Look
Adopted is an intimate look at what it means for an adopted person to live in
the world as someone who was both chosen and given away
show more


PRODUCT DETAILS

 * Title You Dont Look Adopted
 * Author Anne Heffron
 * Format Kindle , Hardcover , Paperback , Audiobook & More
 * Pages 162
 * Language English , Germany & More..
 * Bestsellers rank 4.52


ABBOUT AUTHOR

Anne Heffron

Is a well-known author, some of his books are a fascination for readers like in
the You Dont Look Adopted book, this is one of the most wanted Anne Heffron
author readers around the world.
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REVIEW

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~Bookishly Numb~

I'm usually on the look out for books that are based on adoption as I am
interested to learn how different birth mothers adoptive parents and the
adoptees have coped with something so significant in their lives I think I may
have mentioned this in another review but I was adopted at a rather young age
but unlike Anne Heffron I have never met my birth mother who is now in fact
deceased or my biological father While I have really never had any interest in
my biological father there was a time a good few years ago I was aching to know
what my birth mother looked like My curiosity was wild and it kind of comsumed
me for a while But despite that I never did make contact with her even though I
knew I could do so I think I felt like I was committing something terrible
against my parents the parents who had taken care of me my entire life What made
things a harder pill to swallow with me is that I was my birth mother's third
child and mentally that made me wonder why me? Why keep two of your children and
then give up the third? The thing is that lady could have taken the easy way out
but she didn't and I am incredibly grateful for that Within these pages Heffron
explains how her adoption has practically coloured her entire life It has had a
profound effect on relationships schooling and she thinks about it everyday As
this is a personal memoir I can pass no judgement on that but I don't think it
has affected my life in a negative way and even though it crosses my mind rather
freuently it certainly isn't every day I can agree with Anne when she is told On
the day we got you as opposed to On the day you were born as that is how my
parents began every conversation about my birth I have no photo's of myself as a
newborn baby I think the first one was taken when my adoptive parents took over
the role from the foster parents I had been placed with Heffron had two adopted
brothers by the time she was adopted herself whereas I was my parents first
child Apparently my mother was told there were no babies available at that time
for adoption and that...show more
Sara Strand

I'm giving this one a solid 4 stars right out the gate I'm not adopted but I was
able to finally get it I never used to get it when people had a disconnect and
never felt part of something because of their adoption or maybe they just don't
know one of their parents because I have few memories of my dad He didn't want
us he couldn't contribute he was an alcoholic and that was important I
eventually gained a step dad but I never felt like I was missing out like a part
of me is unfulfilled But after reading Anne's book I get it I've not been shy
about my struggles this last year and being suicidal but I never had a good
statement to wave and say THIS This is how I feel In Anne's book early on there
is a line What does valuable even mean? It means worth protecting worth keeping
alive It means that sometimes I cross the street without looking both ways
because I don't care if someone hits meTHAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL Another line
that just called to me was on the next page I think and its in relation to her
writing this book She says If you think your voice is dangerous in its ability
to hurt the ones you love you learn to keep it uiet And then the real trouble
startsI'm writing a book now and I struggle with writing my truth how I see it
versus sparing feelings I shouldn't spare feelings if it's my personal truth
right? The entire story from her childhood to adulthood the author is able to
show us why hers was different what mistakes she made what points of her life
were maybe impacted by being adopted It's written honestly and beautifully your
heart strings will be tugged hard As a mom I can't imagine what it is like to
hand my baby over I think when we look at certain issues we only see one facet
of it we don't look at the full circle People often say that love can fix
anything but that's not really true This book highlights how that can be the
case Even the best of parents can't fix all of the broken pieces fill all of the
holes I have no connection to adoption myself but I really felt the impact as if
this was written for me I love this author's voice so much it makes it an
ea...show more
John

This book is amazing important powerful impactful funny painful vulnerable open
honest and absolutely perfectI'm an adoptive father of two wonderful boys Like
most people we saw adoption as a miracle a perfect solution to challenges life
threw at people Never did I consider there could be ill effects downsides
challenges for my boys issues of attachment What could happen that I couldn't
love away?A lot apparentlyThis book through its brilliantly written style is a
vital read for anyone within the adoption triad It speaks so much to the
potential issues and challenges that could be prevalent without our knowingMy
adolescent boy is going though some changes becoming withdrawn angry defiant
challenging Before this book I casually passed it off as hormones the pains of
puberty But what if it's ? In reading Anne's story I am much aware of the
potential for other issues Like Anne's mother my boys mother is not open to
talking about their adoption with them Now I see the vital importance of opening
that dialogue up and giving them a safe place to talkThis book is not only a
crucial read it is amazingly well written Anne Heffron has a beautiful cadence
about her writing it flows wonderfully reads uickly and is perfectly clean It is
funny and poignant open and honest It shows her willingness to be completely
vulnerableSimply put this book is fantastic and I will recommend it to every
person I know who speaks to me about adoption
show more
Diane

One of the most important things that reading can do is to put the reader into
the shoes of another person For the writer it can be a cathartic experience
especially when she writes about her own lifeScreenwriter Anne Heffron was
adopted at ten weeks of age and writes about how that has colored her entire
life in You Don't Look Adopted She begins her memoir by stating that for most of
her life she has felt both real and not real because an infant is born with a
sense of self not separate from the mother and she believes that her brain took
a nosedive in the gap between mothersWe have always been told that adopted
children should feel special because they were chosen by their family But
Heffron states that while that is true in order to be chosen you must first be
unchosen Heffron felt that no matter what reason her birth mother gave her up
she still chose to let her go This thought caused Heffron to believe that there
was something seriously wrong with her for her own mother to give her upShe also
wondered what happened to her and her mother in the ten weeks between her birth
and her family adopting her All her life she felt that something was wrong with
her and as a teen she sought out therapists and doctors to help battle with her
depression eating disorders and inability to stick with jobs schools and
peopleHeffron was adopted by a couple who also adopted two boys Her mother
wanted to prove that she could have it all take care of her family run a
household and have a fabulous career She was a writer but her dream of writing a
great book became the reality of being a stringer for a small town newspaper Her
mother was not a happy woman and she took some of that unhappiness out on
AnneAnne did eventually find her birth mother but she did not want anything to
do with Anne and asked her not to contact her any This led to even difficulties
for AnneRelationships were difficult for her She was married multiple times and
when times were tough she walked away or pushed others away Her daughter going
away to college completely un...show more
Carol Lindsay

I had really mixed feelings about this book Anne's story is her story and her
experience is hers alone so how I feel about her story is really of no
conseuence Maybe I just don't want her to feel like she felt which is kind of a
funny thing to feel Here's my take away My son is adopted he is 9 He has two
sisters who are 10 and 11 who were adopted together by a different family There
are other siblings adopted by other families as well One we know he was born
after but don't keep in close contact the other was born first and we have no
idea where he is or what his name is While I was reading the book my son looked
at the title and said Hey I'm adopted What's that book about I told him what the
book was about and how Anne felt about adoption and we talked for awhile I told
him the woman in the book thought about being adopted every day I asked my son
if he thought about it every day He paused for a minute and then said no That
weekend his sisters spent three days with us He facetimes them a couple times of
week and they have sleepovers once a month or so The girls saw the book and
asked what it was about I told them and then I asked the 11 year old if she
thought about being adopted every day She thought for a minute and then said yes
I asked her what she thought and she said about what my life would be like if I
had stayed with my first family or what my life would be like if I was adopted
by you or a completely different family Wow I had no idea she thought these
things Maybe her therapist knows Then I asked the 10 year old and she thought
for a minute and said yes sort of My son said say NO I said it's not a right or
wrong uestion how she feels is how she feels Why do you want her to say no He
said because I don't think about it Hmm so does he really not think about it or
does he not want to tell me he thinks about it Now I have to think about that My
takeaway it's a good read for adoptive parents because it gives you another
person's perspective It also gave me some topics to bring up that I would have
never thought of We are very open about adoption
show more
Gwen Berndt Sojdelius

My journey as an adoptee hasn’t been the same as Anne’s mine contained abuse
from my adoptive family and my actions and reactions have been different too And
yet there’s a solid core of issues which I recognize and honor in her story
Being adopted is hard It has conseuences for the adoptee even though it was
never something we asked for Her memoir is definitely worth a readI freuently
see Anne’s memes regarding adoption and being an adoptee on Facebook and they’re
always very insightful and often funny I guess I expected her book to be a
little funnier although let’s be honest there’s not really much funny about the
struggles of being separated from your people Thanks for writing your story Anne
show more
Kate

I'm not adopted But I know a lot of people who are And now because of Anne
Heffron's book I have a new understanding of the emotional complexities of that
experienceAnne's book is also about this If there's a story you've always wanted
to tell tell it If there's a book you've always wanted to write write it Don't
let shame or societal rules or strictures get in your way Don't suppress your
truth Do not let yourself be dismissed One day you will die TestifyIn the field
of memoir people often poo poo the idea that writing your story is cathartic I
think they don't want to conflate psychotherapy and writing I get that At the
same time Anne's book is an excellent example of the catharsis of writing memoir
AND she's a really good writer with a sharp intelligence Catharsis and a damn
good book don't have to be mutually exclusiveIt was beautiful to see how
unleashing all she'd been holding back for so many years led her toward self
love I guess that's what happens when you excavate the shame Of course it's all
an ongoing journey We often have to re remember that at any given moment we have
a choice to say fuck it and throw off the burden and shine
show more
Amber Jimerson

If you follow Anne on social media or have listened to her excellent interviews
on Adoptees On you know the circumstances of this book and judging by some of
the reviews it’s important to know that going in She’s openly admitted the
errors and the whirlwind of writing and publishing this book and I believe she’s
said she wouldn’t publish like this again and yet it was absolutely necessary
she do it this way for herselfSo the uality aside what she has to say is
insightful Having dealt with separation and attachment issues though I’m not
adopted I found myself relating to her actions and fears uite a bit And what she
shares from the conversations with other adoptees or adoptive parents should be
beneficial to other adoptive parents or adoptees or birth parents like myselfIf
this book challenged you or scares you keep going Don’t stop when this book is
over find adoptee voices to listen to and see what happens Anne is not alone in
much of what she describes
show more
Chris M.H

I think much of what is written in this book is both brave and honestIt's put
together in a non linear way which makes it uite hard to follow jumping from
early to late years freuently but it does work What I liked most was her honesty
about how much adoption can influence relationships with others and especially
yourself Anne doesn't try to hide any of the tough subjects addressing
abandonment attachment and love issues throughoutHer fear which she describes
several times about being unable to believe that she is valuable and that she's
capable of being loved is very relate able and her discovery that in the end
it's less about trying to gain and hold onto love from others but about being
able to find the love in yourself and give it to those who deserve it in your
life The book doesn't end on a particularly sweet note There's no ultimate fix
or epiphany that renders the whole of her experience worth it only the
grittiness and determination that comes through to face the trauma and impact of
grief head on which will inevitably spur on countless others to do the same
show more
Kyczy

This book tugged at my heart strings I immediately collared people I wanted to
read sections to I read some to people at a conference I was attending and
whether adopted or not whether they knew someone who had given a child up for
adoption or had an adopted sibling; it opened their eyes It opened mine It
opened my heart Nothing is a simple as it seems even the beneficent actions in
our lives may have dark conseuences The important things in our lives have no
simple solution Read this and find out why
show more



RATING DETAILS


34,157 ratings
4.52 out of 5 stars
5 40% (16,752)
4 33% (13,865)
3 19% (7,931)
2 5% (2,167)
1 3% (1,077)
Book ratings by free.4reads.live


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