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HOW TO BE MORE EMPATHETIC

Empathy, or our ability to understand each other’s feelings and perspectives and
show compassion toward them, is one of the building blocks of healthy
relationships. When we are able to stand in another person’s shoes and see life
from their point of view — a situation, a belief, a struggle — we are then
better equipped to connect, without reactivity, on a human level.

It is, in a way, a sign of generosity; not in the material sense, but rather
it’s a spirit of generosity. By leaning into this generosity and learning how to
be more empathetic, we cultivate an attitude of openness, and we train our minds
to be less judgmental. No wonder empathy can positively impact our
relationships, with ourselves and others.

As Andy Puddicombe, a former Buddhist monk and the co-founder of Headspace, puts
it: “Empathy does not require that we have been through the same thing as
another person, simply that we meet them where they are now.”

Empathy may seem like an all-or-nothing emotion; in a way, that is true. Being
able to recognize and relate to the feelings of others does not come in degrees.
Like any skill, it is there, or not. But the good news is that empathy is a
quality that can be nurtured and learned. Discovering how to become more
empathetic is a life skill with benefits extending across all areas of life.
Once you master how to have more empathy, you are better able to connect with
and understand partners, loved ones, colleagues, and even strangers.




THE BENEFITS OF PRACTICING EMPATHY

Existing in the world can come with a bit of sensory overload. A lot is going on
out there, and it’s no wonder that we become preoccupied with our mind’s
chatter. So often, our thoughts and emotions take over, leaving little space for
those around us to feel seen or heard. And when we do migrate toward social
interaction, we tend to stick to our birds of a feather.

All these behaviors can lead to an empathy deficit — where we’re only exposed to
those similar to us — and being able to show compassion for people and
perspectives that are different than ours becomes difficult, if not impossible.
It can all seem a bit frustrating and disheartening. But asking yourself how you
can be more empathetic and venturing into understanding those around you is
worth the work. Here are some of the benefits:

 * Stronger relationships. Learning to listen to those around you without
   passing judgment can strengthen not only your familial relationships and
   partnerships, but also your friendships.
 * An overall happiness boost. Empathy is one of the most deeply appreciated
   human qualities. Those who can give it, create stronger bonds with their
   social circles. These stronger bonds bring about more joy within one’s life.
 * Higher emotional intelligence. Empathy is at the heart of emotional
   intelligence, or our ability to be aware of our emotions and handle
   interpersonal relationships. Being able to empathize with those around us
   gives us a better grasp of navigating interpersonal relationships.
 * Better leader and worker. Being able to navigate human relationships and
   situations successfully can make office life much easier to take on. If you
   can read and understand the emotions, needs, and thoughts of your reports and
   co-workers, you are much more likely to communicate and collaborate
   effectively.




HOW TO BE MORE EMPATHETIC

When our brain goes to work figuring out how to be more empathetic, what it’s
doing is getting the emotional center and cognitive center to collaborate and
make sense of the situation in front of it. The brain’s emotional center, or
limbic system, includes the amygdala and the hippocampus. This area stores
feelings, experiences, and impressions. It can also perceive the feelings of
others. The frontal lobe, which makes sense of behavior at the highest level, is
where the empathizing magic happens. It tries to problem-solve and understand
why someone may be feeling the way they are.

Empathy has multiple components: the cognitive, where you understand the
person’s thoughts or feelings; the emotional, where you can share these
feelings; and the compassionate, where you go beyond sharing concern and
actively try to reduce someone’s pain.

If you’re in the process of learning how to be more empathetic in a relationship
or everyday life, the main thing to do is give your interactions a makeover:
Talk to new people from different backgrounds and walks of life. Actively listen
to those around you. Allow yourself to be vulnerable in relationships. Focus on
the interests and needs of others. Try not to make assumptions about those
around you. And, of course, meditate.




THE LINK BETWEEN MEDITATION AND EMPATHY

Researchers from Emory University discovered that compassion meditation could
improve our ability to empathize with those around us. It is thought that
meditation for empathy can do so by activating the areas of the brain associated
with compassion. When researchers from Mount Sinai Medical Center scanned
patients’ brains during meditation, the brain’s empathy area began lighting up
significantly. Meditation may also increase empathy by expanding self-awareness.
In calming the nervous system, meditation helps you become more aware of your
own emotions, making you more adept at empathizing with others’ emotions. And so
as we learn through meditation to see our own thought-patterns, inner dialogue,
and suffering, we move closer to the suffering of others. Empathy is essentially
an understanding of the shared human condition — and this is the unfolding
nature of our own kindness and compassion.

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START AN EMPATHETIC PRACTICE WITH HEADSPACE

If you’d like to practice how to become more empathetic, Headspace offers a
10-day Kindness course (available only to logged-in subscribers) that
incorporates skillful compassion and loving-kindness visualizations, helping to
foster feelings of compassion and decrease judgments. Also available to
logged-in subscribers is the 10-day Generosity course, which can help cultivate
an attitude of general openness and encourage the mind to be less critical. In
addition to meditation for empathy, Headspace offers courses that can help with
sleep, anxiety, and even grief. Everyone’s meditation journey is different, so
take a moment to browse through the library and find what works for you.

Sign up for Headspace for free, and begin experiencing the benefits of
meditation today.

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