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SPONSORED POST

 * Man In Crowd Imprints on Arena Vendor Walking Aisles Like Baby Bird
   Brought to you by: Petey "USA"


MUSIC

 * Pogues Singer Shane MacGowan Dies at 65, Or 112 In Irish Poet Years
   Pogues Singer Shane MacGowan Dies at 65, Or 112 In Irish Poet Years
   By Tim Graham
 * Awkward Travis Barker Doesn’t Know What to Do with His Drumsticks During
   Conversation
   Awkward Travis Barker Doesn’t Know What to Do with His Drumsticks During
   Conversation
   By Bobby Jaycox
 * “Give Me a Second Chance!” Cries ReWritable CD-ROM Used Once for Papa Roach
   Album
   “Give Me a Second Chance!” Cries ReWritable CD-ROM Used Once for Papa Roach
   Album
   By Daniel Freborg
 * Woman Excited to Show Therapist Bo Burnham’s “Inside” Not On Spotify Wrapped
   This Year
   Woman Excited to Show Therapist Bo Burnham’s “Inside” Not On Spotify Wrapped
   This Year
   By Kelley Greene
 * Frank Ocean Makes Rare Public Appearance in Fan’s Burnt Toast
   Frank Ocean Makes Rare Public Appearance in Fan’s Burnt Toast
   By Josh Baumgart

Alt Rock Band Hoping for a Big Hit So They Can Whine About Playing It


ALT ROCK BAND HOPING FOR A BIG HIT SO THEY CAN WHINE ABOUT PLAYING IT

By Liam Stephenson

SEATTLE — Legendary underground band Vomit Asylum admitted they would love to
break through to the mainstream with a song adored by the masses that…

Drone Metal Fan Hearing Slurpee Machine in the Distance Wonders “What Band Is
This?!”


DRONE METAL FAN HEARING SLURPEE MACHINE IN THE DISTANCE WONDERS “WHAT BAND IS
THIS?!”

By Matt McInerney

OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local drone metal fan Judson Riley was recently seen in his
neighborhood gas station murmuring, “What band is this?” as a Slurpee…

How To Make It Clear I’m Wearing a Blazer With Jeans in a Post-Punk Way Not a
2012 Business Casual Way


HOW TO MAKE IT CLEAR I’M WEARING A BLAZER WITH JEANS IN A POST-PUNK WAY NOT A
2012 BUSINESS CASUAL WAY

By Ellie Fitzpatrick

When I put on my outfit this morning, I really thought I looked fantastic. Black
skinny jeans, Chelsea boots, button-down shirt, skinny-tie, slouchy blazer with…

Friend Not Able to Make It to Show “In Spirit” Either


FRIEND NOT ABLE TO MAKE IT TO SHOW “IN SPIRIT” EITHER

By Mike Moran

SEDONA, Ariz. — Local man Shelly Peabody informed his friends in The Tent Pole
Pedestal that not only would he not be able to attend…

20 Bright Eyes Songs That Don’t Even Begin to Illustrate How Bad My Seasonal
Depression Has Gotten


20 BRIGHT EYES SONGS THAT DON’T EVEN BEGIN TO ILLUSTRATE HOW BAD MY SEASONAL
DEPRESSION HAS GOTTEN

By Corey Montgomery

Winter is right around the corner and like many of you, I’ve been frolicking in
crunchy leaves, wearing all of my stylish coats and sweaters,…

Theater Removes Front Row Seats So Dads Can Watch “Napoleon” Standing a Few Feet
From Screen


THEATER REMOVES FRONT ROW SEATS SO DADS CAN WATCH “NAPOLEON” STANDING A FEW FEET
FROM SCREEN

By Zachary Wolf

FREDERICK, Md. – A local movie theater recently removed the front rows of seats
so the throngs of attending dads could watch “Napoleon” while standing…

American Psychological Association Announces “Feeling Like Dying But Not Really
Suicidal” New Baseline For Normal Mental Health


AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION ANNOUNCES “FEELING LIKE DYING BUT NOT REALLY
SUICIDAL” NEW BASELINE FOR NORMAL MENTAL HEALTH

By Tim Graham

WASHINGTON — A new press release from the APA updated the definition of normal
psychological well-being to better reflect the realities of life in the…

We Sat Down With Noah Kahan but It Ended Up Just Being Some Random Vermont
Hippie


WE SAT DOWN WITH NOAH KAHAN BUT IT ENDED UP JUST BEING SOME RANDOM VERMONT
HIPPIE

By Jus Kaplan

Noah Kahan is taking the folk-pop world by storm, and we’re totally here for it!
The Vermont native, known for his deep lyrics about mental…

Ten Underrated Albums From Rise Records You Should Revisit While You Spend All
Your Money on Holiday Travel Expenses


TEN UNDERRATED ALBUMS FROM RISE RECORDS YOU SHOULD REVISIT WHILE YOU SPEND ALL
YOUR MONEY ON HOLIDAY TRAVEL EXPENSES

By Scott Waldman

Rise Records was formed by Craig Ericson in Nevada City (which is an extremely
misleading name for a city in a state with another name),…

Kid Rock Wins Creepy Talent Show After Reciting Verbatim Every Age of Consent
Law From All 50 States


KID ROCK WINS CREEPY TALENT SHOW AFTER RECITING VERBATIM EVERY AGE OF CONSENT
LAW FROM ALL 50 STATES

By Stephen Bell

WACO, Texas. — Kid Rock was announced as the winner of a local talent show that
catered to creeps after he recited the age of…

30 Moments From the Star Wars Holiday Special That Show Us All the True Meaning
of Life Day


30 MOMENTS FROM THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL THAT SHOW US ALL THE TRUE MEANING
OF LIFE DAY

By Dan Rice

Sure, it’s “The Holiday season,” but we all know that one holiday is a cut above
the rest—Life Day. The origins of Life Day go…

Top 15 Reverb Pedals of 2023 to Hide The Fact That You Can’t Play Barre Chords


TOP 15 REVERB PEDALS OF 2023 TO HIDE THE FACT THAT YOU CAN’T PLAY BARRE CHORDS

By John Danek

Playing guitar is fun; learning to play guitar sucks wet ass. And no part of
ascending Shred Mountain is more frustrating than attempting to master…

Rescue Workers Save Abused Acoustic Guitar From Frat House


RESCUE WORKERS SAVE ABUSED ACOUSTIC GUITAR FROM FRAT HOUSE

By James Knapp

BALTIMORE — Volunteers with the organization People for the Ethical Treatment of
Acoustics (PETA (But Not Assholes)) recently rescued a badly mistreated Yamaha
acoustic guitar…

Dear Diary: I Thought Journaling Was Supposed to Help but All It Does Is
Catalogue My Failures


DEAR DIARY: I THOUGHT JOURNALING WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP BUT ALL IT DOES IS
CATALOGUE MY FAILURES

By Alec Walker

I met with my therapist today. He said I should start to see the benefits of my
journaling soon, but it’s been three years. Four…

Every Mayday Parade Album Ranked Worst To Best


EVERY MAYDAY PARADE ALBUM RANKED WORST TO BEST

By Scott Waldman

As we know, Florida sucks, but Mayday Parade sure doesn’t. Tallahassee’s pride
and joy pop-rock/pop-punk has seen more than their fair share of drama, we’re…


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