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42points


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Relationships2 days ago


35 MEN SHARE THINGS THEY DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE DOING WRONG UNTIL THEY STARTED
LIVING WITH A WOMAN



Rokas Laurinavičius and
Ilona Baliūnaitė


Publish

Not your original work? Add source

Whether we're talking about romantic partners or just really good friends,
moving in with someone can dramatically change a relationship. The two of you
not only get to lower living costs, but also spend way more time in each other's
company.



Sure, with all the socks laying around the house, there's a chance you'll
exchange a few cold stares and words. But there are also plenty of opportunities
to bond and even learn from one another.

A recent Reddit post by user Gerdaandemail is an excellent example of that—he
submitted a question to the 'Ask Men' community, trying to learn what guys
hadn't known or realized until only after living with a woman and got plenty of
interesting replies.

From organizing your wardrobe to proper self-care, continue scrolling and check
out some of the most popular ones.

This post may include affiliate links.


#1

ALWAYS HELP WITHOUT ASKING. It’ll save your entire relationship/sex life/cuddle
life etc. If you say “Do you need help?”(chores etc) she’ll say “No I got it”
and it’s logged as the first resentment cut of a thousand. Don’t ask because you
think it’s polite, just do it. There, saved you a divorce.

Dinosaurs-Rule , Ismael Paramo Report

159points


POST


Andy Acceber
Andy Acceber
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

Just a reminder: It's also a lot of work and mental stress to plan chores. If
you're constantly asking your partner "Can I help?" or "What can I do?," that
means you've already tasked them with organizing and managing the projects.
"Sometimes" is nice. "Always" becomes overwhelming fast. Relieve some of that
stress. Without asking, figure out what needs doing and do it.


136
136points

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#2

Joking aside I’ve learnt a lot of good stuff, like caring for various things.
For example how to properly store fruits and vegetables so that they don’t go
bad, how to take care of textiles/clothes so that they can be used for longer
etc. Also that I didn’t eat nearly enough fiber before. Loads of things. People
say that their girlfriends nag a lot but honestly there’s a lot of good stuff to
be learnt if you just listen.

stultuscerebri , Maja Petric Report

135points


POST


K8 T
K8 T
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

I learnt this from my husband! Its not always women who are good with stuff like
that.


30
30points

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After Bored Panda reached out to Gerdaandemail for a comment, the author of the
viral post agreed to take some time out of his day for a quick chat about what
inspired him to explore this topic.

"I was taking care of some household chores when it struck me that several of
the things I did, my wife had taught me or helped me improve," the Redditor
recalled.



"Specifically, I was doing laundry and got thinking about how I used to ruin my
clothes by ignoring the laundry instructions. My wife has helped me take care of
myself in so many ways, both mentally, physically and practically, and I was
wondering if anybody else had the same experience."

#3

Lived with a girl who did the whole toilet seat thing

So, I'm a boy and lazily left the seat up.

She told me that I needed to leave the seat down (and lid up). She was adamant
that this was the right way of doing it. But she is wrong

Let's get this absolutely clear: the lid needs to be down at all times, when not
in use

MarkHowes Report

116points


POST


BC_Animus
BC_Animus
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

The lid needs to be down at all time folks, to stop the sewer alligators from
climbing up - it's a home safety thing.


82
82points

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#4

Skin. Care. My friends all laugh at me for derma rolling, beard oiling, clay
mask in the shower, special serums for my under eyes, lotions & creams etc…
smooth, soft skin, & (soon) softer beard.

I dont flake, I dont itch, & I look youthful. Meanwhile my friends are endlessly
picking at their faces and complaining about beard itch.

Skin care, lads

Gh0st1117 , No Revisions Report

110points


POST


Iggy
Iggy
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2 days ago

And especially sun cream!


21
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Even though more couples are living together than ever before, according to one
study that took a closer look at 192 young people in their late twenties, the
motivation for men and women to share a place are different.



"We found that responses varied by gender much more than they did by race or
ethnicity, suggesting a substantial gender gap in the perceived role of
cohabitation in the union formation process," said Pamela Smock, a sociologist
who directs the University of Michigan Population Studies Center, part of the
U-M Institute for Social Research (ISR).

She conducted the study with Penelope Huang of the University of California
Hastings College of the Law, Wendy Manning of Bowling Green State University,
and Cara Bergstrom-Lynch of East Connecticut State University, and discovered
that overall, three key reasons for living together emerged: wanting to spend
more time with one's partner, wanting to share life's financial burdens, and
wanting to test compatibility.

#5

Cheap toilet paper is unacceptable

chanandalerbong7 Report

105points


POST


Kristof De Smet
Kristof De Smet
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2 days ago

you like sanding paper?


22
22points

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#6

Can't just use towels for generic tasks, specific towels have specific purposes.
Failure to comply is sacrilege and punishable by immediate scolding.

Supersix4 , Giorgio Trovato Report

102points


POST


Roxy Eastland
Roxy Eastland
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

Don't use the effing hand towel to wipe up spillages when for the sake of two
seconds, and the effort of opening a cupboard door, you could get out a floor
cloth


57
57points

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But the way men and women put forth these three goals differed quite a lot.
Women highlighted "love" as a reason to live together three times as often as
men did, while men cited "sex" as a reason to live together four times as often
as women did.



Both men and women saw cohabitation as a temporary state in which to gauge
compatibility, but women saw it as a transitional arrangement preceding
marriage, while men tended to see it as a convenient, low-risk way to see if a
relationship had longer-term potential, using terms like "test drive" to
describe the arrangement.

The strongest gender differences, however, emerged in the perceived
disadvantages of cohabitation. Women believed that living together meant less
commitment and legitimacy than marriage, while men saw the greatest disadvantage
as their shrunken freedom.

Despite the mismatches in motives and expectations, Smock noted that young
adults appear to see cohabitation as an expected part of life. "Ultimately, the
clearest message was that living together is very much taken for granted. As a
result, the upward climb in the proportion of young adults who cohabit is likely
to continue for some time," she explained.

#7

I never learned how to pay attention to, comprehend and express my feelings.
Especially the emotional-gooey-feely ones, but also when things would bother me,
so I wouldn't work on things when they'd bother me, I'd just...leave. As in, the
relationship. So through many years of ruining things, much heartache, and
painful growth, she had the love and patience to not only see that there was
potential in me, but also to not give up on me. I had the emotional tenderness
of a brick basically. It took hitting rock bottom to understand that if I didn't
learn to do those things, Id lose the best thing that ever happened to me. If it
wasn't for her, I'd be in a drunk in a ditch somewhere, probably alone. Now I'm
only sometimes drunk, completely happy and in love in a functional relationship.
She's basically a Saint for putting up with me having been emotionally disabled.
And the gift thing: well, there is joy in giving to others and seeing how much
happiness she would get from seeing people's reaction to gifts made me stop
wanting to keep her from doing so, stop being selfish and lean to take joy also
in making my friends and loved ones happy about a thoughtful gift. I was an
emotionally dysfunctional man, after living with her, I'm less like an actual
porcupine and more like a plush toy porcupine.

estevat0 , Sir Manuel Report

92points


POST


Richard Portman
Richard Portman
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

Oh, here's another one, they always say this. Women are supposed to have the
golden key to emotional understanding. I have met a lot of confused frightened
women and men. It is not gender specific.


37
37points

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#8

How good it feels to keep my home organized and clean. After living with my now
ex-wife for six years, I can’t help but do deep cleans for my mental health.

I really appreciate a solid vacuum cleaner, I feel better keeping wires off the
floor, I’m proud of my undersink collection of cleaners and spare sponges
(change out your dishwashing sponges 🧽 regularly!), I loaded up on 30+
microfiber cloths from Home Depot so I’m never without a way to clean up
dust/messes, and I Konmari the sh*t out of my belongings on a regular basis for
great relief. 😮‍💨

Also I appreciate:

tissue boxes in every room

Rugs next to the bed

Every thing must have a home

Matching furniture has a subtle but powerful effect

Art on the walls does look nicer in frames, even dirt cheap frames from IKEA

Hiding cords feels good (combined with easy access for inevitable fiddling)

Taking out the trash feels as good as pooping

soft_becoming , CDC Report

77points


POST


NsG
NsG
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
2 days ago

There's a thought process that states something along the lines of men don't
appreciate (or see the need) for the comforts of a home until they marry (it's
an *old* thought). Basically, men see their house as a functional place only. As
long as it has a roof and a bed, the rest are fripperies. And then he gets
married and his wife turns the house into a home, full of creature comforts
(this also often comes across as the "nesting" that many women do in their
eighth month of pregnancy). And now men understand the importance of rugs, and
artwork. This still plays out in the stereotypes of bachelor pads. While 4+
extra pillows on beds (nope, no idea what that's about) are also the source of
satire and parody, soft furnishings DO have a positive impact on the emotions.
Their function is often overlooked, and I can't help think it's related to the
"men can't be soft" idiocy.


17
17points

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Returning to our topic, Gerdaandemail thinks that men learning something from a
woman isn't necessarily a question about genders "but rather how one relates to
new information from a person who is different from oneself."

"Chances are that your partner and you have different interests that have
generated different pools of knowledge that can be used to contribute to the
relationship," he said.

"As someone who has vastly better conversations" with his wife than with most
men, the Redditor also believes that men and women can definitely "speak the
same language" and understand each other.

"In my opinion, good communication has its roots in mutual respect, interest,
and willingness to learn and listen. Gender is far too blunt a tool to
distinguish between good or bad conversationalists," he added. Which is a
perfect reminder that if you've been with someone who you feel didn't really get
you, it wasn't proof that you can't find common ground with the opposite gender.
Maybe you just weren't compatible.

#9

Bed Sheets. I used to cheap out, but pampering yourself in nice bed sheets makes
it feel like you're staying at a fancy hotel every night.

crockfs , Nathan Oakley Report

75points


POST


Monday
Monday
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2 days ago

You spend a very large chunk of your life sleeping in that bed. It's worth the
extra money.


30
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#10

When I get into bed, I lie down too hard, causing the bed to shake violently. I
have since learned to lie down more gently.

EmperorSexy , Ciro Morra Report

71points


POST


Kristof De Smet
Kristof De Smet
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

apparently, you also need to move more gently when you're sleeping.


17
17points

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#11

Sooo much hair.

It looks like I pull a beaver out of the drain every two months.

Ps- fun fact, adding daughters to the mix does not double the hair. Somehow it’s
actually squared. I don’t get it either.

amateurdwarftosser , faungg Report

66points


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Lakota Wolf
Lakota Wolf
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

I have long hair. Boyfriend’s hair is longer than mine. I have two cats. One is
long-haired. I just got a new puppy. My entire world is made of shed hair and
fur. XD


36
36points

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#12

Hygiene.

Before her, all I did was brush my teeth and shower daily.

I watched this woman wake up earlier to do a whole skin care routine every day
on top of showering and doing her make-up.

Every inch of her always smelled so good and her skin so soft, I didn't even say
anything about it. I just thought to myself, "she does this and I appreciate it,
let me repay the favor."

We're not together anymore, but I stole her hygiene routine without her even
knowing

_IratePirate_ , Supply Report

65points


POST


Saint Thomas
Saint Thomas
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

Brushing and washing daily is already a good routine. The rest is just cosmetic
IMO...


25
25points

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#13

Giving her space while giving her affection. Apparently, when she says all she
wants to do is sit down and watch her novelas in peace. She actually means she
wants me to sit down with her. But not for too long. Just long enough.

Pupper_Wolf , Thought Catalog Report

62points


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Crease Almighty
Crease Almighty
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

Yeah, I found out that saying I love you 100 times in a row at the beginning of
the month (like Will Farrell from Elf) is not a way around saying it at key
moments during the month.


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#14

The act of doing laundry is not 3 separate chores (washing, drying, folding &
putting away.) It is one chore and you either did it or not.

theguitargym Report

62points


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LuckyL
LuckyL
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

Of couse it's three different things. There is so much time in between. And it
doesn't have to be done by the same person.


43
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#15

Putting out fires, thankfully! We had a little grease fire and I came running in
with a bucket of water and she grabbed me by the arm and handed me a blanket
instead, I almost f*ckin killed us both by being an idiot.

drinkthebleach Report

54points


POST


The only Plueschopossum
The only Plueschopossum
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

Ok, but this one's common sense. It has nothing to do with one's gender...


30
30points

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#16

Putting raw meat at the top of the fridge and cooked meat under. She was like
your gonna give us all food poisoning. If that meat juice lands on the cooked
meat your gonna make us all I'll af.

So yeah, cooked meat at the top, raw on the bottom.

SniperPaul Report

53points


POST


Martha Goodridge-Kelly
Martha Goodridge-Kelly
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2 days ago

Or use containers do the meat juice doesn’t drip all over your fridge!


47
47points

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#17

Apparently there is no acceptable place to trim my toenails, so I just have to
wait for when she’s not home.

daddyfatsac , steve p2008 Report

52points


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Dani M
Dani M
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2 days ago

There is! The bathroom!


54
54points

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#18

That I was damaging my pans by rinsing and soaking them right after using them.

Now I just let them sit on the stove for a week so they are nice and cool before
I might wash them.

SDdude81 , Cooker King Report

50points


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Caro Caro
Caro Caro
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2 days ago

Do I detect a hint of sarcasm here? Hahaha


48
48points

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#19

I never got in trouble for being unfaithful in someone else’s dreams until I
lived with a woman.

ChampChains Report

47points


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Julia Odom
Julia Odom
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2 days ago (edited)

Its not just women. A few weeks ago SO seemed like he woke up on the wrong side
if the bed so I eventually asked him what was wrong. He had dreamed that I
cheated on him. He knew it was irrational but he was still very cranky all day
(which is very unlike him).


13
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#20

the bucket of water after mopping shouldn't go on the sink, it should go on the
toilet.

whothatboah , Masjid Pogung Dalangan Report

46points


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Commander OwO
Commander OwO
Community Member • points
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FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

Why in the world would you dump it into the SINK?! How long would it take for
the water to all go down the drain?


18
18points

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#21

Folding towels. I’ve lived with 3 women and they all insist that hot dog style
with a tri-fold is the correct way. Apparently my hamburger style is for
Neanderthals.

jmirele2010 , pablo ramos Report

46points


POST


NsG
NsG
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
2 days ago

I have no idea what "hotdog style with a tri-fold" means (sounds like either a
sex position or an Olympic winning gymnastic move). The correct way to fold
towels depends on where they are stored and how they are accessed - oh, and
actually *folded*; a rumpled towel takes up space, folded is efficient.


50
50points

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#22

Apparently shampoo goes on the scalp and conditioner goes on the loose hair, not
the other way around!

stultuscerebri , Victor Furtuna Report

45points


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BC_Animus
BC_Animus
Community Member • points
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2 days ago

What exactly are "loose hairs"?


11
11points

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#23

Apparently I'm supposed to go to the doctor every now and then.

Snoo-35252 Report

44points


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Robert T
Robert T
Community Member • points
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FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

Has it fallen off yet? No. Is it a funny colour and starting to smell? No. Leave
it alone and don't bother the doctor. ;-)


14
14points

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#24

I didn't actually know how to communicate my feelings. Also, I learned how to
give gifts that are meaningful.

estevat0 , Kate Hliznitsova Report

43points


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Llewella
Llewella
Community Member • points
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comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

A simple handwritten note in my lunchbox when I'm having a rough day at work
means so much more then flowers on Valentine's Day!


16
16points

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#25

The bathroom trash can is only used for bathroom trash

jackaquack , Francesca Tosolini Report

42points


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Evelyn Ann
Evelyn Ann
Community Member • points
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FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

I throw anything in my hand while walking past in there but this is something i
could see my sister enforcing xD the bathroom garbage is smaller, idk


8
8points

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#26

Folding panties. I swear it's so pointless

Bombadil80 , Esteban Bernal Report

42points


POST


MarmotArchivist
MarmotArchivist
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FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

More efficient storage.


12
12points

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#27

Pretty much how to take care of my hair and skin better. Also made me better at
taking care of myself in general.

For example I put coconut oil in my hair before I go swimming. I learned this
from a girlfriend I had in Hawaii.

Apparently it helps seal moisture in as well as protect your hair from damage.
Whatever it does, my hair gets softer, smoother and bigger after it dries. I
swear it never looked so fabulous in my life.

Edit: After reading some comments, I just want to clarify.

It's not like a shampoo or styling product. You don't need that much.

Too much going down the drains can mess up your pipes. So please don't pour
goops of it over your head.

I just rub a few drops between my hands then tousled my hair until it has a nice
sheen.

Ghost-Writer Report

40points


POST


Susan Kiser
Susan Kiser
Community Member • points
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upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

Awesome tip


4
4points

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#28

Not drying off in the shower before stepping on the bath mat, therefore
minimizing how wet the bath mat gets.

Vast_Mulberry1156 , Filios Sazeides Report

39points


POST


Dani M
Dani M
Community Member • points
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upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

Funny, I do that but just because the shower keeps the warm air in! going out of
the shower without toweling off means blast of cold :)


42
42points

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#29

Seasoning meat. And damn was she right, it needs some spices on it.

Momothebowler Report

36points


POST


Monday
Monday
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2 days ago

A matter of taste. The more spices you put on something the less likely I am to
enjoy it.


9
9points

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#30

I thought my clean clothes went in the clean pile on one side of the room, and
the dirty clothes went under the bed. Boy did I get that one wrong...

Patback20 Report

34points


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Iggy
Iggy
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2 days ago

The room must have smelled like an old sock!


12
12points

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#31

Apparently one does not drink wine directly from the bottle.

helvegr13 , Jeff Siepman Report

32points


POST


Caro Caro
Caro Caro
Community Member • points
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FollowUnfollow
2 days ago (edited)

NO, ONLY when the cheese is room temperature, then you pour the wine in a
wineglass and enjoy.


8
8points

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#32

I didn’t know that I can be wrong just because of my tone but if I said
something, and my tone was not right, I am wrong

TheRevolutionaryArmy , Etienne Boulanger Report

29points


POST


Monday
Monday
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

Well there is certainly a difference in saying "Great job" with and without
sarcasm.


21
21points

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#33

That my bed can't have just the one pillow. Apparently I need a million of them.

KingShaka1987 , DESIGNECOLOGIST Report

28points


POST


Roxy Eastland
Roxy Eastland
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

As a woman I've no idea what this heaping of a hundred cushions on a bed thing
is.


84
84points

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#34

Apparently my farts will make a room uninhabitable. My buddies and I are all
industrial workers and have generally lost or sense of smell. She is still quite
capable of smelling

deathclawslayer21 Report

27points


POST


Robert T
Robert T
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

When I fart, it is disgusting and I am a "skunk". When she farts, it's funny.
And yes, hers do smell!


6
6points

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#35

Everything. I do everything wrong.

FibonacciZeppeli , Christian Erfurt Report

23points


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Caro Caro
Caro Caro
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

Aw, this is sad.


28
28points

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POST


NsG
NsG
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
2 days ago

Here we have a spectrum. At one end we have men learning how to take care of
themselves (and by extension their loved ones). And at the other we have men
living with every stereotype of women who are so irritated by everything a man
does to the point where they need to split up for the sake of everyone. What a
ride.


16
16points

reply
Ozacoter
Ozacoter
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
2 days ago

Its just sad how many men never learned basic life skills to take care of the
house and themselves. But yeah some are over the top.


6
6points

reply
Beth S
Beth S
Community Member • points
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comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

After reading this post, I am starting to question if I am actually a woman. LOL


12
12points

reply
Fish Boden
Fish Boden
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

Right? It's almost like this stuff isn't gender specific.


10
10points

reply
Amanda Reicha
Amanda Reicha
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

I think it goes both ways and not just stereotyped to women. My husband taught
me cooking and I taught organization for example. We both taught each other
about different things. What I read has some questionable answers that sound
like following a preference rather than learning.


5
5points

reply

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POST


NsG
NsG
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
2 days ago

Here we have a spectrum. At one end we have men learning how to take care of
themselves (and by extension their loved ones). And at the other we have men
living with every stereotype of women who are so irritated by everything a man
does to the point where they need to split up for the sake of everyone. What a
ride.


16
16points

reply
Ozacoter
Ozacoter
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
2 days ago

Its just sad how many men never learned basic life skills to take care of the
house and themselves. But yeah some are over the top.


6
6points

reply
Beth S
Beth S
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

After reading this post, I am starting to question if I am actually a woman. LOL


12
12points

reply
Fish Boden
Fish Boden
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

Right? It's almost like this stuff isn't gender specific.


10
10points

reply
Amanda Reicha
Amanda Reicha
Community Member • points
posts
comments
upvotes
FollowUnfollow
2 days ago

I think it goes both ways and not just stereotyped to women. My husband taught
me cooking and I taught organization for example. We both taught each other
about different things. What I read has some questionable answers that sound
like following a preference rather than learning.


5
5points

reply

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