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CHIROTECHNICS






TUESDAY, JUNE 15, 2010


PATIENCE ALWAYS PAYS OFF.


For those who aren't aware, one of Zelda's sisters is living with us until she
can get on her own feet. It's a daunting task, but one that serves our purposes
as well. She is required to help with chores and watch the kids when we say so.
She is only allowed to stay with us as long as we see she is useful to us.

Since her final exams, Zelda took it a little easy on her about the chores. I
warned her against taking it easy on her. Don't give her an inch. She needs to
grow up.

Now before she came to live with us, I used to lock ALL locks at night,
including all deadbolts. When she started staying with us, things changed a
little. Not sure why. She was decent at first, but then she started spending
nights away from home.

So, I decided to start going back and locking all the locks at night. One night,
I had to put the wet laundry into the dryer. I fell asleep watching TV so I woke
up around 4:00 am. As I walked into the pantry where the washer and dryer were,
I noticed 2 shadows in my back patio. They were male silhouettes. I quietly ran
back upstairs and grabbed my pistol. I woke Zelda and told her to call the
police because I saw 2 guys in the patio at the door. I ran back down and saw a
male silhouette. I lined up the sights of the pistol on the shadow and took the
safety off. As the shadow moved, so did my aim. Who is this asshole out there?

Zelda quietly ran down the stairs and asked me what was going on. I asked her if
the kids were okay. She said they were fine. Then, Zelda's phone vibrates and
her sister's name shows up on the caller ID. "Are you outside? Zelda asks."

Apparently, one of her friends followed her to the back of our house to see if
she can get in. NOT SMART! If you don't belong there at 4:00 in the morning,
don't go back there.




posted by Zelda @ 1:31 AM |


MONDAY, MARCH 29, 2010


I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO JOIN THE AIR FORCE



posted by Zelda @ 10:22 PM |


MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2010


FAVORITE HOLIDAY


Gwennie: "Daddy, what's your favorite holiday?"

Me: March 14th.

Gwennie and Zelda: "Huh?"

Me: (staring straight at Zelda with a smile on my face)"March 14th"

Gwennie and Zelda: "What holiday is that?"

Me: (laughing) "Nothing... I'm just joking, sweety. I just picked some random
day like ONE MONTH after Valentines day as a joke."

Gwennie: "Oh! Okay....it wasn't that funny of a joke."

Me: I know. I don't tell very good jokes. I need more practice.

Zelda: (finally got it) "OOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!"




posted by Zelda @ 10:09 AM |


THURSDAY, JANUARY 21, 2010


SENATOR SCOTT BROWN


I've been watching the special election in Massachusetts lately. When word got
out that a Republican had the possibility of taking over Ted Kennedy's seat, I
was hopeful.

Here's why. I had been noticing that payments to the clinic had recently dropped
off significantly. Other healthcare practitioners were noticing the same thing.
What was going on that caused the payments to drop so significantly? Then it hit
me. Even though it was only a theory, I felt as if the healthcare bill has
something to do with it. I don't think those who favored this piece of
legislation truly understood what was about to happen.

I theorized that the insurance companies were hoarding their money instead of
paying doctors, pharmacies, etc. in case they were going to be driven out of
business. It only stands to reason that the companies will take that money and
declare bankruptcy. And under the protections of Chapter 11 Bankruptcy, they
don't owe anyone money. So if you've been to the doctor's office recently and
your insurance hadn't paid for whatever services you received, you would be
responsible for the entire bill.

Yeah, you might have had insurance at the time of the service, but YOU are
ultimately responsible for the payments if your insurance company won't pay. You
could try and sue them for not rendering a service to you that you provided, but
if they declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy, what could you do? You're still
responsible for the bill.

I've been watching this election closely because I would have had to start
sending out demand letters to several of my patients telling them to pay up.
Hey, you don't work for free and neither do doctors.

Let's hope this healthcare bill gets thrown out and let's start with real
reform....like tort reform for starters.




posted by Zelda @ 3:13 PM |


FRIDAY, JANUARY 15, 2010


SORRY FOR MY ABSENCE


It's been a hectic end of the year for 2009.

I've started working out to the P90X workout. I will finish up the 7th week
tonight and will have 5 more weeks to go. I've lost about 10 pounds, I can fit
into my old 32 waist pants with room to spare, my shirts are a little more snug
around the chest and arms, my 6-pack abs are really coming in, and most
importantly I have more energy.

I had a patient come into the office the other day with some neck and low back
issues. She told me that she had a history of brain trauma due to an automobile
accident. I thought to myself that it must've been one hell of an accident to
produce brain trauma. During questioning, I found out that she was pregnant with
her 5th child. I also found out that the same accident she was involved in
killed 3 of her other kids. Her friend fell asleep at the wheel.

If you ever feel tired from driving, please stop and rest. I know I usually like
to post funny posts (whenever I do get a chance to post), but this patient's
story just about almost made me break down. I know that I've been trained to
remain distant from my patients, but I just can't help it sometimes.

Take care, everyone and I'll do my best to try and post more often.




posted by Zelda @ 6:12 PM |


MONDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2009


TURN IT UP!


I was driving the family around this weekend when we passed a car with its bass
blaring. It reminded me of a story when we used to live in Houston.

Zelda and I were hungry one night and we decided to grab a midnight snack at
McDonalds since they were open that late. We pulled up behind a red mustang that
belonged to a bunch of teenagers. They started blaring their radio with hard
core rap. You could tell it was stock speakers because the speakers were blown.
The kids didn't care. They placed their order and were waiting for their food
thinking that everyone in the world will think they're cool for blasting crappy
music.

I told Zelda to cover her ears and I found a radio station that played something
along the lines of zydeco music. I turned the bass down and cranked the volume
to full blast. I think they got the hint. They turned their music down and we
laughed our asses off.




posted by Zelda @ 1:43 PM |


SUNDAY, OCTOBER 04, 2009


MY BIG FAT VIET FUNERAL


The women are watching "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" tonight. I actually like that
movie despite the lack of explosions, great one-liners, and hippies learning
real life lessons.

I like that movie because it reminds me of mine and Zelda's constant opportunity
to learn from one another. Zelda has been to a couple of Buddhist funerals. Now
for the sake of full disclosure, I don't follow the tradition as well as I
should. In fact, I have no fucking idea what to do. I do what is told of me. The
monks know this and will motion to me to bow 3 times vs. bow 4 times vs. bow 10
times with 3 incense sticks or 2 or 4 or 6 or whatever.

But, there she was. Zelda did what she was instructed to. She impressed the hell
out of my other relatives. One of my uncles said, "Jethro's wife has been
studying our culture. Did you see her place her hair behind her ear before
bowing? She knows how to show respect. " In actuality, she was just clearing her
hair out of her face before showing respect.

When we heard this, we both looked at each other in complete amazement and said,
"Of course." We're not going to say squat about it because now we have family
credibility. sssshhhhhh!!!!!! It's a secret.




posted by Zelda @ 7:54 PM |


ABOUT ME

Name: Zelda Location: Don'tLookForMe, Anywhere, United States

I'm a crack-ho lazy mom who vacillates between feelings of inadequacy and
delusions of grandeur. I am not bothered by kid snot, garlic breath or Bob
Dylan's voice. But pinch me with your toes and I will probably kill you.

View my complete profile


PREVIOUS POSTS

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 * I've always wanted to join the Air Force
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 * Sorry for my absence
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 * 2 years ago today
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