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Dating


5 MISCONCEPTIONS THAT DRIVE INTROVERTS CRAZY

BELIEVING STEREOTYPES ONLY CAUSES PAIN.

By Stephanie Hertzenberg stephanie hertzenberg
shutterstock.com



Introverts seem to be on the receiving end of a number of unpleasant
stereotypes. When people hear the word “introvert,” they tend to picture a
person who is shy, reserved, socially awkward. They think of someone who is
artistic but has poor social skills and who tends to spend a lot of time alone
in their room. This, of course, is nothing but a caricature of an introvert. It
is true that introverts tend to be less talkative or outgoing than extroverts,
but many introverts are the life of the party and fully capable of talking a
friend’s ear off. No one with any sense believes stereotypes wholeheartedly, but
some aspects of those stereotypes are more persistent than others. Here are five
misconceptions that drive introverts crazy.


“INTROVERTS HAVE NO SOCIAL SKILLS.”

Introverts are seen as being socially awkward. The fact that they do not revel
in large parties and are less likely to enjoy group outings than extroverts has
left some people convinced that introverts simply do not know how to join in and
enjoy those things. After all, why would an introvert not have a good time
trying to keep up six surface conversations as once in a crush of people? Some
people see introverts’ quietness or tendency to stay on the edge of a group as a
simple inability to join in. Such people often have good intentions when they
try to teach introverts the skill they feel the introverts are lacking, but all
it does is insult everyone involved. Introverts have plenty of social skills,
and many are highly accomplished speakers.

They simply practice their skills a little differently than more gregarious
extroverts. 


“INTROVERTS ARE ALWAYS RESERVED.”

Introverts have a reputation for being shy and reserved. Shyness, however, is
born more of insecurity or bad past experiences than introversion. Introverts
simply tend to keep their cards close until they are certain that they can trust
others. They also have a tendency to dislike small talk or surface
conversations. As such, many introverts will keep quiet until they feel that
they have something worthwhile to add to a conversation. That said, when people
are discussing a topic in which an introvert is interested, an introvert will
happily talk the ear off of everyone involved. In addition, there are many
introverts who are extroverted introverts. This means that they need quiet time
to recharge, but when they are socializing, they act more like an extrovert.
They will be the life of the party while they are out, but they will need some
time to themselves when they get home. 


“INTROVERTS JUST NEED HELP COMING OUT OF THEIR SHELLS.”

Society tends to put extroversion up on a pedestal. Think about it. Fun,
outgoing, strong and independent are all words that people want to have describe
them. They are also words that tend to bring to mind a big personality that can
dominate a room when the person walks through the door. In other words, the
words bring to mind an extrovert. People hear the word “fun,” and they think of
wild parties and loud laughter from a large group even if they would personally
prefer a small get together with a few close friends.

This can lead people to believe that introverts would all be better off as
extroverts if they could simply come out of their shells. The sheer number of
movies that seem to portray this change does not help. Shyness, however, is not
the same as introversion. Introverts do not need fixing because there is nothing
wrong with them. Preferring to relax after a long day at work is not somehow
lesser than going out with friends. Neither extroverts nor introverts are
superior. Both are simply descriptors for a wide range of individuals with their
own skills and struggles. 


“INTROVERTS CAN’T LEAD.”

Introverts are generally believed to be quiet and reserved. People think of
leaders as being big and bold. In reality, however, not all leaders are loud,
not all introverts are quiet and leadership has nothing to do with extroversion
or introversion. Introverts are more than capable of leading. Introverts tend to
be better listeners and will not compete with others for the spotlight. This
enables them to hear other’s concerns clearly and address them. Introverts also
tend to have a quiet confidence and rely less on others to discuss matters with
when making decisions. Sadly, the idea that introverts cannot lead is a deeply
entrenched one that has damaged the careers of numerous introverts. 


“INTROVERTS ARE PUSHOVERS.”

Given that introverts are normally perceived as quiet and shy, it is no surprise
that people assume that introverts are incapable of standing up for themselves.

In reality, extroverts are just as likely to be doormats as introverts.
Introverts simply look like better targets as they are less likely to be the
center of attention. A properly riled introvert, however, will easily give as
good as they get. They can, and will, both start and finish fights just like
anyone else on the planet. 

Introverts are not a single homogenous group. Introversion is a tendency, not an
identity in and of itself. There are introverts who fit the stereotype perfectly
and those who abandon it utterly and completely. Introverts are just as diverse
of a group as any other. After all, labels do not determine how a person thinks
or acts. That is dependent on each individual, not whatever identity groups of
which they happen to be a part. 

Stephanie Hertzenberg is a former writer and editor at Beliefnet. She is a
graduate of the College of William and Mary where she majored in Religious
Studies and minored in Creative Writing. She maintains an avid interest in
health, history and science.



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