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RUSSIANS ANONYMOUS

Search for:
 * Home
 * Growing up Russian
   * Daffy’s, may you rest in peace
   * Do you remember Whimit?
   * Guide to texting for Russian parents
   * Your parents: Russian or Just Weird?
 * Russian Food
   * The 5 Grossest Russian Foods of Your Childhood
   * Pickled What?: Field Notes from a Brighton Beach Local
   * My Bologna Has a First Name: It’s ALEX’S
 * Russian American Culture
   * 3 Easiest Russian Words to Teach Your Friends
   * Russian Moms on Wall Street: An In-Depth Look
   * Subway Etiquette for the Russian Commuter
   * Tips for the American guy dating the Russian Betch
   * How to Survive a Bad Date
   * Top 5 reasons why you’ll fall in love with the Lost & Found Project
 * Best of
   * B2B is not just for businesses anymore
   * Growing Up Russian: Top 10 Memories
   * Hunting for Russians
   * If Kate Middleton was Katya Middlevitch
   * Occupy Brighton Beach – OUR demands
   * Pet names (and their effective usage)
   * Russian Expressions: Top 6 Explained
   * “VAT CHAPPEN LAST NAIT”
 * About


 * Home
 * Growing up Russian
   * Daffy’s, may you rest in peace
   * Do you remember Whimit?
   * Guide to texting for Russian parents
   * Your parents: Russian or Just Weird?
 * Russian Food
   * The 5 Grossest Russian Foods of Your Childhood
   * Pickled What?: Field Notes from a Brighton Beach Local
   * My Bologna Has a First Name: It’s ALEX’S
 * Russian American Culture
   * 3 Easiest Russian Words to Teach Your Friends
   * Russian Moms on Wall Street: An In-Depth Look
   * Subway Etiquette for the Russian Commuter
   * Tips for the American guy dating the Russian Betch
   * How to Survive a Bad Date
   * Top 5 reasons why you’ll fall in love with the Lost & Found Project
 * Best of
   * B2B is not just for businesses anymore
   * Growing Up Russian: Top 10 Memories
   * Hunting for Russians
   * If Kate Middleton was Katya Middlevitch
   * Occupy Brighton Beach – OUR demands
   * Pet names (and their effective usage)
   * Russian Expressions: Top 6 Explained
   * “VAT CHAPPEN LAST NAIT”
 * About


THE 3 TYPES OF CORONA RUSSIAN PARENTS 😷

April 2, 2020 / RA Jr. / 0 Comments

You thought your parents were already a lot. You thought they couldn’t possibly
get any more anxious, aggressive, annoying, or loud … and then … the most
unlikely of all things happened: the Corona virus took hold.

The world flipped upside down… N95 masks became all the rage, and toilet paper
became the new Gucci status symbol. But most confusing was how your parents
reacted.

Some cried. Some denied. And some… simply LIED! Here are the 3 types of Corona
Russian parents there are:


1. THE “THIS IS ALL MADE UP” PARENT

Signs that your parent falls into this bucket include them using one of the
following sentences:

 1. “This is like the flu, stop worrying so much!”
 2. “I survived the Soviet Union, you think THIS will kill me?”
 3. “Noooo… I didn’t go to NetCost today… ok… fine… maybe I did. That kolbasa
    you like was on sale, I couldn’t NOT get you a pound!”


2. THE “I HAVE SUPPLIES THAT CAN LAST ME YEARS.. YEARS I TELL YOU!” PARENT

This parent will sound something like this:

“Back in the USSR, we had no food or access to anything so we stocked up! Rice
is on sale? 5 boxes please. I’ll keep it in my garage next to the 10 bottles of
ketchup. Never know when they will come in handy! Go to the grocery store for
more? Nyet, I don’t need to make the trip for at least another month or so! Me
and Papa can live like this for a longgg time.”


3. THE “I’M CRUISING THROUGH THIS” PARENT

This parent is PREPARED for all of the unknown:

“Back in Soviet times, we had vodka to get us through hard times. Now that this
is the US, a whole new world of support is open to us.”

No, we’re not talking about that meditation app you’ve tried to get your parents
to use. We’re talking the REAL supplies:

“Don’t worry, we’ve wiped the packages down with Lysol before opening those
edibles up!”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In all seriousness, hope everyone is staying safe out there! Comment below what
kind of parent your parent is. RA Jr’s is #2 😂





RUSSIAN EXPRESSIONS: TOP 6 EXPLAINED

July 23, 2019 / RA Jr. / 14 Comments

There are many expressions in Russian that are used in daily life. When
translated into English, the ridiculousness of these phrases becomes evident …
painfully evident. So painful and so evident that it makes you scratch your head
and wonder what the heck?

Here are our top 6 favorites:


1. YOLKI PALKI



Russian meaning: “oh crap.”  Literal translation: pine cones and sticks.

Nothing says WTF like references to foliage.


2. PISYAT KIPITKOM



Pisyat kipitkom — Russian meaning: “so excited and I just can’t hide it!”
Literal translation: pissing boiling water.

Almost like “blowing off steam” … but blowing off urine?


3. OO SASEDA FSEGDA DLENEYA



Russian meaning: “the grass is always greener on the other side.” Literal
translation: your neighbor always has a longer one.

No need for foliage now that fruit’s involved.


4. KRISHA PAYEHALA



 Russian meaning: “gone completely insane.” Literal translation: your roof is
running.

No, the roof is not on fire. It’s just running. Running away from you.


5. SLOHKIM PAROM

Russian meaning: “hope you seriously enjoyed that shower.” Literal translation:
with light steam.

Apparently, we need encouragement to get clean. This should explain a lot.


6. PAVESEL LAPSHOO NA OOSHE



Russian meaning: “trying to take me for a fool.“ Literal translation: hung
noodles on ears.

This Poosya is allergic to cats .. and BULLSHIT!!!!!



So there you have it, a few of the greatest phrases out there. And ultimately,
if they are wrong, we don’t want to be right!

For more, check out Russian pet names right this way.





GUIDE TO TEXTING FOR RUSSIAN PARENTS

July 11, 2019 / RA Jr. / 2 Comments

Despite not growing up with the modern technology our generation has come to
know and love, our parents have embraced the new wonders of our world. No longer
clutching their favorite flip phone, they have moved on and adopted the life
changing usage of smart phones unlocking their many wonders and joys.  And yet,
despite the phone itself coming with plenty of direction on how to use their
functionality, they do not, for better or for worse, come with instructions on
how to use their text messaging feature. Alas dear readers … we are here to
help:

Rule #1: the fewer the words, the better — additional context to add clarity
need not apply.



Rule #2: only text your children during emergencies.  Qualifying emergencies
include but are not limited to:

 1. reminder of that sale at J.Crew
 2. reminder of that sale at Bloomingdales
 3. questions about what should be made for dinner, kotleti or bitochki
 4. questions about what color pants should be worn to work tomorrow
 5. questions about why you are still single
 6. questions about what time you are coming home
 7. questions about why you are not home yet
 8. questions about what time you will be coming home tomorrow
 9. reminder to pick up cigarettes from the duty free shop… case in point:




Rule #3: birthday texts are a must. The closer they are to sounding like
Hallmark greeting cards, the better:



Rule #4: Finally, when asked to do a self assessment at work, turn to texts to
find out how best to answer the questions… only to realize the answers given are
useless:




No grievances, no happiness! We’re all enslaved at work after all! ;)

Now it’s your turn: tell us the best text message you’ve received from your Mama
or Papa :)



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