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THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU: A MEMOIR


NEKO CASE

Not yet published
Expected 28 tammi 25

4.38
32 ratings12 reviews

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An unforgettable portrait of an extraordinary life—one forged through a
poverty-stricken childhood in “slummy, one-horse towns”; obsessive desire;
bursts of comedy; and indispensable friendships, reflecting on the way art,
music, and a deep connection to nature helped her on a singular journey to
become a beloved, Grammy-nominated artist.

Neko Case has long been revered as one of music’s most influential artists,
whose authenticity, lyrical storytelling, and sly wit have endeared her to a
legion of critics, musicians, and lifelong fans. In The Harder I Fight, the More
I Love You, Case brings her trademark candor and precision to a memoir that
traces her evolution from an invisible girl “raised by two dogs and a space
heater” in rural Washington state to her improbable emergence as an
internationally-acclaimed talent. In luminous, sharp-edged prose, Case shows
readers what it’s like to be left alone for hours and hours as a child, to take
refuge in the woods around her home, and to channel the monotony and loneliness
and joy that comes from music, camaraderie, and shared experience into art.

The Harder I Fight, the More I Love You is a rebellious meditation on identity
and corruption, and a manifesto on how to make space for ourselves in this
world, despite the obstacles we face.


 
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GenresNonfictionMemoirMusicBiographyBiography MemoirAudiobookAdult


288 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication January 28, 2025

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

NEKO CASE

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COMMUNITY REVIEWS

4.38
32 ratings12 reviews
5 stars

15 (46%)
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14 (43%)
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
Ruxandra Grrr
702 reviews103 followers
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June 6, 2024
I don't usually jump to reading celebrity memoirs, but so excited for this,
since Neko Case wrote one of my favorite songs (Hold On, Hold On) and the
synopsis looks great!


14 likes
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Sped Erstad
62 reviews1 follower
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October 23, 2024
Thanks to the publisher for an advance copy and thanks to the author for writing
a beautiful and heart-breaking memoir.

Got this in the mail yesterday and devoured it. I read a lot of rock /
songwriter autobiographies and this is definitely not a typical memoir in the
genre. There are a couple of great passages about life on the road and singing
in front of twenty-two people and she does mention some of the great
relationships she's had with bandmates and other collaborators. But if you're
looking for a typical arc of "started here and got there as a musician" story
this isn't it. Not a lot of how her amazing songs were created, recorded, where
the stories behind them come from, etc. And mercifully, it's not too weighted
with details from the latter half of her life (looking at you Bono and Grohl).

What this book _is_ is a great memoir of being a kid of trauma and a broken
family in the 70s and 80s. I'm almost the same age as Ms. Case so her
description of childhood in those eras resonated deeply with me. This is a book
about _her_ and what shaped her as a person and how she survived. And what a
survivor. The closest "personal instead of professional musician memoir" that I
would compare it to is the book by Mark Oliver Everett (the dude from The Eels).
Don't get me wrong, I love a great book telling me the rise to prominence of a
rock star, but these personal ones seem so much more. I do appreciate her
finally getting to tell her side of the infamous "getting banned from the Opry"
story...

If you've listened to even one of Ms. Case's songs, you also won't be surprised
that she's a great wordsmith. The prose (and almost poetry) is so refreshing
here. Maybe it's because I just came off a terrible book that read like a
Reader's Digest Condensed Book, but her passages just grabbed me and wouldn't
let go. Like John Darnielle (the dude from The Mountain Goats), I hope she will
write some fiction some day. I'd read that.

One thing that I found interesting (surprising?) and maybe refreshing was that a
musician from Washington State had almost no mention of the Seattle music scene
of the late 80s and early 90s. Maybe because she was younger than most of that
stuff, maybe because of her loner and feral (a wonderful word she uses a lot to
describe herself) personality, maybe she just didn't want to have to shoe-horn
in the required "Kurt story" to her book.

I also love the choice for the cover - it's a picture she describes in the book
and it's a picture that perfectly captures the essence of the book.

I feel bad that most people will have to wait for this one - but trust me, it
will be worth it...
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8 likes
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Britt
52 reviews2 followers
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September 16, 2024
Tough, honest, and beautiful just like her music.


1 like
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Dan
1,524 reviews39 followers
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December 9, 2024
My thanks to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for an advance copy of this
memoir about growing up, finding things to hang on to, music, finding others,
touring, old cars, demolition derbies and much much more.

I don't remember how I first became aware of the singer Neko Case. I'm not sure
if I heard a power pop song, a country song, or a Canadian mash-up of different
bands, all of which Case was a part of. Maybe is was a CD sampler from a
magazine, or a live show, as Case toured incessantly with a lot of different
players. Maybe it was even a soundtrack. This is why I can't write my memoirs, I
don't have a clear memory of important things. Case however has no problems,
remembering, though in many cases it would be best if she forgot quite a lot.
Though one can tell that everything she has ever experienced has come out in her
music. While it was heck to grow up in, Case has proven she can pretty much
survive anything. The Harder I Fight the More I Love You is a memoir of the life
of, singer songwriter, actress, and survivor Neko Case, dealing with her
childhood, her pains, the power of music, the power of animals, and the power of
one person to make change for themselves.

The book begins with a description of Case's parents that sounds like the
opening of a very sad song. Case's parents were two kids who got caught up in a
moment, and from this Case was born. Case's parents were never happy together
and Case's parents separately. Case's mother also did something that I only
thought could happen in soap opera's, and had to have been awful to go through.
Case's parents were broken people, something that Case came to realize rather
young, and causing Case to emancipate herself at an early age. There was much
wandering, and some bad situations, until music Case's one refuge slowly began
to absorb Case, and open Case up to a new world, a world of like-minded people
wanting to create. Drumming for a local band started something within Case.
Moving to Canada made the idea even bigger. Soon Case was recording a debut
album, and working on songs. And working on getting a better sense of self.
Tours, meeting musicians who were supportive, and musicians who were also
disappointing, became a fact of life. And so did a rising fan base that opened
Case's life to more opportunities.

I have loved Neko Case since I first heard that voice. The technical name is
contralto, but to me is unique, and full of both pain, anger, redemption and of
course hope. Or case is doing a funny song, and that's even better. I knew a
little about Case and the life she had before music, but I did not know how
rough and ugly it was. And sad. I can't imagine having the parents Case had, and
not being ruined by them. All credit to Case for being far stronger than I ever
could. The book is sad in places, funny in others, and makes one want to watch
demolition derbies, and fix carburetors in old cars. Also listen to a lot of
good music. The writing is very good, painful sometimes, other times one is glad
that Case found supportive people, other musicians, even people just making Case
dinner. One learns alot about what a person can go through, but also learns
about music, and bands and camaraderie of the road. And what vans to buy for
music tours.

I liked this book a lot, but with is was a happier story. Neko Case seems if not
happy, content in the life Case is living, and I hope to read and hear more
about it. Fans of any of the bands Case is in will enjoy this, there are plenty
of stories about music, and tours. Also readers of strong people dealing with
bad things and striving will enjoy this. A really wonderful and well-written
memoir.
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Ann Margolis
89 reviews10 followers
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November 26, 2024
Last updated on Nov 26 2024
I had never heard of this author before,Neko Case. As a lover of R&R,esp.Acid
Rock of the 70’s,Folk Music,R&B,Bluegrass ,Classical Music and Opera,never was
into Country nor Alternative,Punk,Heavy Metal. I love reading all different
bios,not just of the rich and/or famous. This was a quick read and interesting
as to how coming from such a terrible upbringing with two parents that had
issues from their own past, Neko not only survived with her love of music and
dedication and determination to survive and succeed. Just putting up with being
as part of traveling musicians in seedy bars,clubs,etc driving all over the U.S.
either can make or break one,especially earning so little money for your
efforts.Perseverance wins in the end if you have talent,love your craft as well
as believe in yourself.
Thank you NetGalley,and Grand Central Publishing for the opportunity to read
this ebook.
Book will be on sale,January 28,2025.

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Jennifer
224 reviews27 followers
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October 26, 2024
I receieved this as a digital ARC from NetGalley.

I wish Goodreads allowed half-stars like Letterboxd because this was truly 4.5
stars for me not 4.

It was great to read a memoir of one of my favorite artists. I knew the bare
bones of her life story but it was really illimunating to hear her story in such
honest and raw language. Every now and then she would drop an aside about life
in general/being a woman/ambiguity about gender that just really *hit*

Really recommended! I look forward to re-reading closer to the book's release.
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K
280 reviews
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December 21, 2024
The publisher's blurb is pretty spot-on for The Harder I Fight the More I Love
You. Case takes us back to her childhood, which includes some dark places that
one would probably mention in therapy. Case's writing (“raised by two dogs and a
space heater” for example) make for some lyrical storytelling even when
describing unpleasant events. It all makes sense though, because these dark
places are conditions that can lead to great art. (I received an ARC of this
book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my honest opinions.)


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Rachel
Author 13 books1,179 followers
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July 2, 2024
I burned through this book in three feverish days, overcome by the spellcasting,
storytelling, and pure song of Neko Case's words. Here is one of the most
remarkable people you will ever meet, on the page or otherwise: So honest, kind,
funny, and tender--so human--you will fall in love if you haven't already. A
book not so much about the creation of an icon as it is about the lionhearted
love Neko Case has for the whole damn world


16 likes
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Brittany
61 reviews7 followers
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November 18, 2024
I have known Neko Case as a brilliant songwriter, so I knew I was in for a treat
with this one. And it did not disappoint! Beautifully written, heartbreaking at
times, but resilient and sharp. I loved every second of it.

Thx Netgalley and Grand Central Pub for the ARC!


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Kathy Woulfe
35 reviews2 followers
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November 2, 2024
It was okay, just not into celebrity memoirs that much. This was a book I won on
Goodreads giveaways.


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Connie
216 reviews66 followers
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December 8, 2024
#GoodreadsGiveaway


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Savannah
11 reviews
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November 13, 2024
This was such a good memoir. I have only listened to Neko Case's music
sporadically but I've always enjoyed it, I'm glad I decided to give her book a
try. It was introspective yet universal, and as someone who has lived in the PNW
and visited many of the other places she mentioned throughout I felt
particularly connected to her narrative.


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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews

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