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CASSAUNDRA WITH A COLLAR

The life and thoughts of a collared woman...




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SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2013


VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER AWARD!!!!








Wow!!!  I have been nominated by Mrs. D for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award!!! 
This is the very first award I have ever been nominated for/received for my
blog, and I am awe struck!  My blog is so new (and currently so neglected by
me), I would never have expected something like this.  I am so glad to know that
I am doing SOMETHING right and helping someone with the things I have to say. 
That means the world to me.  I am so grateful to be able to share my thoughts
and opinions with you all, and humbled to know that I can inspire and help some
of you just by being here and speaking my mind.  Thank you so much, Mrs. D, for
this great honor!

Here are the rules:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.


2. Link back to the person nominating you
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link back to them.
5. Notify these other bloggers and give them the award requirements.


So, I have displayed the award logo on my blog.  

I have linked back to the wonderful Mrs. D.

Now, 7 things about myself:

1. I am an orphan.  My mother died when I was in my early 20's.  My biological
father died about 2 months after I met him for the first time.  My step-father
died a few months after that.
2. My deepest, most heartfelt dream in life is to simply live a happy and
peaceful life with my BD.  My life has had a lot of turmoil, pain, and loss over
the years, and I just want all of that to end.  I don't care how much money we
have, what kind of house we live in, or even where we live, and I definitely
don't care who does or does not approve of who we are or what we do.  I just
want my home to be peaceful and happy.
3. I absolutely HATE to be tickled.  I have no idea why, but I hate it with an
intense passion.  To me, being tickled is NOT fun.
4. I have a HORRIBLE fear of spiders.  The kind of fear that brings debilitating
shaking and partial paralysis.  Even the sight of the tiniest, itsy bitsy-est
spider sends waves of terror throughout my body.  I can't even stand to look at
pictures of them!
5. I am a TERRIBLE procrastinator.  It has really gotten pretty ridiculous.
6. I have always been the type of person who has no problem lending anything to
anyone who needs it...clothes, shoes, money, time, pretty much anything.  But I
HATE to borrow anything from anyone.
7. I am a fluffy girl, have always been a fluffy girl, and have finally, after
years and years of hating myself for it, become comfortable with who I am and
how I look.  With BD's guidance, love, acceptance, and support, I finally
believe that I am beautiful, intelligent, and pretty darned awesome!  

Nominations:

This was an AWFULLY hard decision to make!  I read so many blogs and they are
all inspiring to me in one way or another, so picking just 15 was SO hard for
me!  But I finally did, and here they are.  If you have already been nominated
and don't want to do this again or simply don't like doing these things, I
completely understand and won't have my feelings hurt!  And for anyone I left
out, please know that not being on this list is in NO WAY a reflection of my
opinion of you or your blog!  I love everyone here and all of your blogs...the
darned rules just won't let me put you all on here!!!  Also, your place on this
list is completely random and also in no way reflects my opinions!

These are all blogs on blogger.

1.   DV @ A Dauntless Journey
2.   Fondles @ Fondlers Anonymous
3.   Fiona @ Sir Q and me
4.   HisLilAngel @ An Angelic Submissive
5.   faithful @ faithful2Master
6.   lil @ Submissive Sanctuary
7.   tori @ Pain's Pleasure
8.   Kitty @ Our Own D/s
9.   Kitty @ The Submissive Wife
10. Sir J @ What Does It Mean To Be Dominant?
11. Jen @ Writing is just luck, blood and glitter
12. faerie @ faerie learns to fly
13. Shelby @ Shelby Cross, Writer
14. sin @ finding my submission
15. mouse @ The Power Exchange

Bonus (non-blogger blogs):
 
16. D @ DumbDomme
17. Aisha @ Being Aisha
18. Monkey @ The Monkeys Journey
      
I really feel like I am leaving some IMPORTANT people out and that makes me so
sad!  I tried to only put people on here who have not been nominated yet,
because I did not want them to have to do it all over again, lol, but some of
these people just HAD to be here!  I love you all!

I am off to notify everyone now!

Thanks, again, Mrs. D!

Cassaundra




Posted by Unknown at 11:51 PM 14 comments:
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SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 2013


BACK FROM THE BRINK!




OH, the potential beauty of these words, had they been spoken by my BD, and not
the horrid FLU!!!


I am back!  Back from the brink of death!!!!  Or, at least, that's the way it
felt!  I have been wallowing in the pain and ickiness of the flu for the first
time in my entire life.  Thirty three years I have gone without ever getting a
flu shot or the flu, and now I can no longer say that.  And let me just say, I
hope I go another thirty three years (or the rest of my life) without ever
getting it again!  I am only just today able to stay out of bed most of the
day.  I have one thing to say about this flu crap, and then I am moving on: 
Nyquil is my best friend, forever and for always.


Obviously, due to being so ill, my book project is not coming along quit as
speedily as planned, but I have not given up hope!  Where there is a will, there
is a way, and I have discovered that I have a whole lot more "will" than I ever
thought I did.  Some more big news....I quit smoking!!!!  I am kind of sad about
it, lol!  I enjoy smoking very much, but BD has finally put his foot down on the
issue, so I finally have to give it up.  I have gotten down to maybe three
cigarettes a week, and that is only when I am around someone who smokes.  So I
am doing pretty darned good, if I do say so myself!  The only problem I have now
is that I believe I am going to gain 500 pounds now that I have quit smoking!  I
am eating ALL THE TIME to make up for the fact that I am not smoking!  BAD BAD
BAD!  So, that brings me to my OTHER big news:


I am starting a workout program for myself.  I am going to do kickboxing, yoga,
and bellydancing, and hopefully because all three of those are something I
really want to learn, I will be able to convince my body that I am not actually
EXERCISING, I am just having fun!  :-) Hopefully, my body is not that smart and
will fall for the ruse!  Of course, this is not something I can jump into
tomorrow, since I AM just getting over the flu and still not able to get an
entire lung full of air, but I will spend the next few days recuperating and
finding the right programs online....I figure I will just find you-tube videos
and do it that way.  



I figure if I am going to make so many changes in my life, I might as well do
them all at once, right?  Suddenly CREATE the person I want to be, instead of
trying to slowly BECOME the person I want to be!


Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!  I have played around with working
out before, but it is SO not something I enjoy, so any advice on what to do or
times of day or anything else would really help!


Anyway, I just wanted to give you all an update on me and explain why I haven't
been here in a while.  I know some of you were probably starting to worry! I'll
be back soon with more of ME, for those of you who aren't sick of me already!!! 
I have used some of the time being sick to work on getting the "Fluffy" project
underway, as well as a Facebook page....still working on them both, but I am
pretty excited about them!



Thanks for hanging in with me!


Cassaundra





Posted by Unknown at 1:29 AM 16 comments:
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THURSDAY, JANUARY 10, 2013


FEAR...




The above pic was created by Shelby Cross and I found it on her blog the other
day.  She really is a funny lady, she is a submissive, and she is a
writer...which combines to make her blog a place I visit quite often.


When I found this icon, I had to ask her permission to put it here on my blog,
because it really hit an unpleasantly placed nail right on the head for me.  I
am often sad, due to the circumstances surrounding BD and I being so far apart
right now, among other things, and after some self-analyzation (which I HATE, by
the way), I have come to realize that I use that as an excuse not to do things
that I KNOW I need to do.  I let my sadness (which I believe sometimes borders
on depression) effect my productivity and my life.  I have ambition...I have a
TON of ambition.  But I sometimes feel that I am doing absolutely nothing to
achieve my goals.


I have talked about this before, and I am sure I will talk about it again. 
Fear.  Fear of hearing the rejections.  Fear of knowing that someone believes my
work is not good enough.  Fear of having my heart ripped out with every "no". 
These fears are bad enough.  They freeze me in my tracks.  They make WRITING
seem like something that can only hurt me in the long run.  But those aren't the
only fears I have about this subject.  After even more self-analyzation, I have
discovered that I am also afraid of hearing the word "yes".  A whole new set of
fears comes into play if that happens.  The fear of being published but not
selling a single book.  The fear of future expectations-you know, "I read her
first book and it was great...but that second one sucked big, green, slimy
donkey dicks!  I guess that first one was just a fluke!" 


I am allowing my fear to choke the life out of my ambitions, and I hate that!  I
can't concentrate on writing, because after a while the fear becomes like a warm
and safe place to live.  If I don't face the fear, then I won't have to hear the
rejections, or any of the other things that cause the fear.


This is why I have not updated you all on my book progress in the last few
days.  My fear has me overanalyzing every word I write and rewriting it 500
times.  I have the basic storyline for the book from the first chapter to the
last, but actually writing it has become a dangerous venture outside the comfy,
cozy world of my fear, and it is getting harder and harder every minute to take
that chance. 


I absolutely HATE this!  It makes me feel so WEAK, and I am NOT a weak person. 
It makes me feel like a serious failure....but I can't fail if I don't try...but
I am failing to try....AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!


Okay, I just felt like I needed to get that all out.  Now that I have...maybe I
can do something about it.  I am feeling a little concerned about the fact that
I haven't told BD about all of this...but I am so worried about disappointing
him with my weakness.  He sees me as someone who is so very strong because of
the things I have had to go through and deal with in my life...I don't want to
disillusion him.



Posted by Unknown at 10:08 AM 6 comments:
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SATURDAY, JANUARY 5, 2013


UPDATE ON BOOK PROGRESS


Well, my nephew didn't go home quite as early as I expected, but I was able to
get 273 words done on my book outline!  In the outline, I have gotten as far as
the conflict.  I am not good with creating conflict!  This is why I have never
finished any of the books I have started, because I don't like to subject my
characters to problems and heartbreak!  To me, creating these characters is a
huge responsibility, and I feel like I should be responsible for making them
happy in their lives!  But if I CAUSE conflict, then I am not making them
happy!  I know, I know....all that kind of defeats the purpose of a book,
because without a conflict there can be no story!  I'm working on it,
though...it's just giving me some issues! 

I did, however, increase my daily word count by SEVEN TIMES!!!!  Well, not
actual book words, but outline words, which may end up as book words, and DO
help with the actual book writing process!  :-)

Yay me! 

And thanks everyone for your kind comments.  I have really made some wonderful
friends here. 

Question...does anyone here know how to make those little sub-tabs under the
main tabs at the top of the blog?  Regarding the "self-image" changes I am
making to the blog, I want to have one tab (like my "home", "about me", and
"BDSM" tabs at the top) with the main title on it, then under that I want to
have some sub-tabs where I can put different information....but I can't figure
out how to do the sub-tabs.

Thanks everyone!  OH...for those of you who can't find my email address on my
profile, it is:  collaredcassaundra@yahoo.com

*HUGS*

Cassaundra

Posted by Unknown at 9:35 PM 1 comment:
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FRIDAY, JANUARY 4, 2013


UPDATE POST....AND NEW IDEA FOR BLOG!


Hey guys!  I know that I have failed to post the updates, like I said I was
going to...but I am officially doing it starting now.  I talked to my BD tonight
and told him that I had not done it...he was very disappointed...and I HATE to
disappoint him....so whether I have progress or not, I am posting an update.  My
problem for the last two days really had a lot to do with my nephew being here. 
Last night I fell asleep with him when I put him to bed (at like eight o'clock,
so I got a REALLY good night's sleep...although I DID wake up and get back on
the computer for a little while in the middle of the night, lol), and the night
before....okay, let me just quit making excuses.  I had made no progress and was
depressed about it, so I did not post.  There...accountability and
responsibility.


UPDATE


Well, today I did not do any "work" words written...but I did write the first
set of sentences for my book project!  Okay, so it was only 39 words...but it
was 39 words I did not have yesterday!  I have also figured out most of the
basis of the book, AND I have made the decision to make an outline before I
start writing the book.  For those of you who don't know this...I hate outlines
and have NEVER used an outline to write anything...except the book that I
ghostwrote and that is now published.  SO...I am taking that into account and
have decided that I need an outline to make this project go on some type of
schedule.  My nephew is asleep, so I am going to start working on my outline as
soon as I finish this post.


READING/EDITING VOLUNTEERS - 
IMPORTANT INFORMATION AND REQUEST


Okay, guys...For those of you who volunteered:  I really appreciate the great
response to my call for volunteers!  You guys are AWESOME!  Now, I need to make
something very clear here.  I am the kind of person who will bend the truth a
little sometimes to make people feel better.  I hate to give people bad
critique's, I hate to criticize (I WILL, I just don't like to!), and I hate to
make people feel bad about something they have worked hard on.  If any of those
statements apply to YOU...please reconsider volunteering.  I would be thrilled
to have each and every one of you read it and give me your feedback, but I am
VERY serious about this project and intend to work VERY hard on it....and I
intend to have it PUBLISHED.  So, I need to ask those of you who want to read -
PLEASE only do this if you can be TOTALLY honest, can COMPLETELY disregard my
feelings, and can give me criticism if you think it is needed to make this book
better!  Thank you very much!


Now, those of you who still want to volunteer, please send me your email
address.  My email address is on my profile!  Thanks, guys!


NEW IDEA FOR BLOG


Okay, with all this conversation (both in my comment section and in other
people's blogs) about my word "fluffy", I have decided to create a new section
for my blog.  It is going to revolve around body image, body issues, and the
evolution of the ideal body image for women.  I am pretty excited about it!  I
will probably have the first phase of it up sometime tomorrow after my nephew
goes home.  Just wanted to let you all know what was going through my head in
the quest to decide what my blog is going to be when it grows up!  


Love and hugs to you all!  And thanks so much for all the support!  Everyone has
been WONDERFUL! 


Cassaundra

Posted by Unknown at 8:42 PM 6 comments:
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THURSDAY, JANUARY 3, 2013


NOT GOING AS PLANNED...


Okay, so I suck and now you all know it!  :-( 

I did not make the progress post I intended to make last night....

I DID get 2000 words of articles written.

But I did NOT get any words of my book written. 

Grrr...I am NOT getting a very good start on this "whole new me" thing....

I WILL have a better update later...and possibly a post that has nothing to do
with word counts...

*sigh*




Posted by Unknown at 12:38 PM 6 comments:
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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 2, 2013


CRAZY NEW IDEA....AND A QUESTION...


Okay, so this post is going to be a little crazy...well, maybe not to some of
you.  But I am feeling a little crazy myself right now, so I figure my post is
going to reflect that in a few ways.  Do ya'll remember my post from New Year's
Eve?  I don't mean that sad parts, mainly because I don't really want to think
about all that right now....I mean the resolution-ish parts.  Well, I didn't get
a very good start on that yesterday (which would have been the BEST time to
start on it, since it WAS the first day of the new year).  Unfortunately, I let
all the sadness from the night before kind of creep in and pretty much WASTED
yesterday with Gilmore Girls, blogland, email, and other things that will
absolutely NOT help me accomplish ANY of my goals, unless of course my goals
involve going on a gameshow that will only ask me questions like "How many guys
did Lorelai date during season three?" and "How many junk emails can you delete
before you have to empty your trash?"  


Today, however, I have FORCED myself to find SOMETHING to be excited about and I
really have found it!  I have found a call for submissions for a publishing
company that is requesting fiction romance novels revolving around...um...shall
we say.....FLUFFY women (which is super awesome, because I happen to BE a fluffy
woman!).  Now, the down-side to this is that the deadline is just two months
away....EEK!  But I work really well within deadlines...especially ones that are
strictly enforced...so I really and truly think I can do this!  I really have a
problem with procrastination and NOT getting things done (something I am TRYING
to work on, but have not been too successful).  I am the type of person who
really needs boundaries and structure...but I am unable (for some unknown
reason) to set them for myself.  Luckily, I was able to tell BD about this
opportunity, and he gave me just the push I needed (both emotionally and
structurally) to get me really, really excited about this and help me create the
structure I needed!


Of course, I know that even if I get the book written and submitted, it still
may not be accepted...and that is a HUGE fear for me.  I have written a lot of
things, and none of my articles have EVER been rejected.  But my one and only
foray into the world of book publishing was a children's book that has been
rejected SEVERAL times...and that is a HORRIBLE feeling.  Once, I was the
ghostwriter of a book that HAS been published, so I do have that to boost me and
keep me going...but it was not published under my name, so that is kind of a
bring down for me. 


Anyway, this has actually gotten me excited enough to finish some articles I
have been working on for a while, too, so this could be the beginning of some
serious steps for me!  


Wish me luck!  I will be back later tonight to post about my progress.  Hmmm...I
don't think I mentioned that.  Since I can't talk to BD every day, he told me to
put the information on my blog for what was required and to update on my
progress every day.  This is part of the structure I was talking about.  It also
brings in accountability, which helps me, too.  So...I will be posting a
wordcount every day (in addition to posts about other things, so don't worry
that this is going to become just a blog revolving around how many words I wrote
that day, lol!), starting today.


OH, I had a question, too!  Does anyone here like these types of books and would
you be willing to read and give me feedback once I have a few pages done?  I
can't pay you, but if I DO get it published, I can most definitely mention you
(and your blog) in the acknowledgements and even name a character after you or
someone you love!


What do you think?


Cassaundra

Posted by Unknown at 10:52 AM 24 comments:
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PLACES I LOVE!

 * FetLife
 * Literotica Forums
 * Cassaundra With A Collar Video Store
 * Cassaundra With A Collar Toy Shop




MY BLOG LIST

 * the late phoenix
   MONASTIC COMPLETION: EVERYTHING MUST GO
   15 hours ago
   
 * Hermione's Heart
   Booty Mask
   3 days ago
   
 * My Bottom Smarts
   Incredibly Personal Q&A Part VI
   1 month ago
   
 * The Power Exchange
   In Living Everyday
   1 month ago
   
 * Life Under a Firm Hand
   TEST
   8 months ago
   
 * The Journey
   counter code
   1 year ago
   
 * A Dauntless Journey
   Still Finding Our Way...
   3 years ago
   
 * submission & metaphor
   Certified COVID-Safe for Fucking
   3 years ago
   
 * Florida Dom's Corner
   A Different Thanksgiving
   3 years ago
   
 * Sir Q and me
   Switched On
   3 years ago
   
 * A Kind Dom
   where to find me...
   4 years ago
   
 * Submissive Sanctuary
   It's Fine. Everything is Fine.
   4 years ago
   
 * whatiwonder
   Great Online BISCUIT Exchange Extravaganza
   4 years ago
   
 * faerie learns to fly
   Who am I?
   4 years ago
   
 * 24/7/365 BDSM Blog
   Worship Targets
   5 years ago
   
 * Exploring surrender
   Aggression
   6 years ago
   
 * finding my submission
   Loving Submission, Loving Dominance
   7 years ago
   
 * Surfing the abyss
   Words for B, part 2
   8 years ago
   
 * A Master’s Viewpoint Of The BDSM World
   Societal Limitiation
   8 years ago
   
 * What does it mean to be Dominant?
   Pesan Canopy Kain ya di Kencana Canopy Jakarta aja
   8 years ago
   
 * Bizzybiz Blog
   Tonight There Is A Full Moon, Allegedly.
   8 years ago
   
 * Pain's Pleasure
   Blinking cursor
   9 years ago
   
 * A Daddy and His Baby Girl
   A Secret and Some What Ifs...
   9 years ago
   
 * a submissive's musings
   Hibernation
   9 years ago
   
 * Down the rabbit hole...
   Drifting away
   9 years ago
   
 * The Playroom
   A Roll of the Dice (Suncoast Society 9, mf, BDSM) available for pre-order.
   10 years ago
   
 * Part Time Submissive
   New addition!
   11 years ago
   
 * Culling Chaos
   Culling the Chaos With Littlies Around
   11 years ago
   
 * Diary of Daddy's Girl
   IN WHICH SHE SEES THAT THINGS SOMETIMES JUST GO WRONG
   12 years ago
   
 * An Angelic Submissive
   
   
 * A Curious Muse
   
   
 * Master Rick's BDSM
   
   
 * Kitty - The Submissive Wife
   
   




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     * Very Inspiring Blogger Award!!!!
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