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Submitted URL: http://xeyomas-place.livejournal.com/
Effective URL: https://xeyomas-place.livejournal.com/
Submission: On December 30 via api from US — Scanned from US

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XEYOMAS_PLACE

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DELULU CULT


SCHIZOPOSTING, EMOTIONS, STRENGTHS, WEAKNESSES, RELIGION? THERE'S SOMETHING IN
YOUR SKIN.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

new comicxeyomaOctober 18th, 1:47

will be updating often..... i hope...

https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/x/list?title_no=1000679

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I HATE UxeyomaOctober 9th, 17:14
i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault.i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your
fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s
your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and
it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill
myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna
kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m
gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your
fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s
your fault.i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and
it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill
myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna
kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m
gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your
fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s
your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and it’s your fault. i’m gonna kill myself and
it’s your fault.
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


i hate foodxeyomaMay 25th, 22:27
( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

eating is eating mexeyomaFebruary 21st, 16:42
i feel the hunger. i feel the pain, the nausea. it makes me anxious. picking at
my fingers, making them bleed, eating my skin. it’s easier than food.

i stare into my bowl. meat, carrots, potatoes, broth. it states back at me. “you
don’t deserve this meal” i feel sick. every bite stabbing me in the chest. i
don’t want to eat. i want to be beautiful. this will be my only meal.

upstairs alone. i stare at the toilet bowl. “you’ll feel better if you puke”
NO!!! i need the minerals. i’m so anxious. “the food is making you anxious get
rid of it” NO “what if it’s poisoned, old, what if you get sick?” NO NO NO NO
SHUT UP!! i feel it digesting, thinking of where it will make my body bigger.
uglier. i don’t eat for another 3 days.

why is this happening? why am i so scared. as i scroll past image after image of
perfect skinny girls. “i wish i looked like that…” i can. i can look like her.
post after post. “How i lost 50lbs in 1 month!!” i could do that… what’s
stopping me. bed rotting. i need to exercise. but i have no energy… all i can do
is not eat.
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


sarah fier’s cursed hand by houston sharpxeyomaFebruary 18th, 23:02


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id still go backxeyomaFebruary 17th, 16:37

its 2008. august. 7:30pm im laying outside in the grass. its warm. i hear
crickets, and a train in the distance. theres a light breeze carrying the smell
of cut grass and lavender flowers. the sky is a dim orange and dark blue, the
sun is setting and i can already see the moon and some stars. i hear dogs
barking in the distance. a truck engine rev. the low hum of music far away. i am
small, innocent. my hair is dark blonde, and messy all the way down. my cheeks
are rose tinted from playing in the sun all day. i know many things. i know how
to ride a bike, i know how to tie my shoes, i know my way home from the park. i
can even tell time. i also know why i hate going home, what time i can sneak
back in without getting in trouble. i know why men stare at me. i know how life
is created. and it scares me. i know what gore is, ive seen it online. who would
let a 8 year old online? chatrooms, tumblr, omegle, imvu, skype, kik,
thatsphucked.com. why was i there?? the street lights are on now...time to go
home.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


love my hatexeyomaFebruary 17th, 16:27

   i haunt myself. there's always a ghost of me, watching, waiting. telling me
i'm not wanted. a burden...yeah. that's all ill be. i don't fit in, i never
have. alone. i have a love hate relationship with loneliness. its cold, empty,
like a huge cave in my chest. i cant ignore it, so ill hold her hand. maybe my
loneliness just needs a friend. don't we all just need a friend? nights i lie
awake, staring at my ceiling, unable to sleep. overwhelmed by my own head. she's
there, and its comforting. maybe i'm not alone after all.




   somber. gloomy. dark. sadistic. there's so many part of me. so many parts
frowned upon by others. "its not normal to think that way." "what's wrong with
you?". heh, what isn't? i find myself contemplating these questions...what is
wrong with me? does it really all come down to mental illness? maybe. but who
would i be without them? my "disorders" i mean. would i still be me? if those
are the things that make me, maybe i should be grateful. maybe i should love
them. embrace them. they got me this far... but they are selfish. they only want
me to be with them. kind of romantic if you ask me... begging to be loved. by
me. but i am just a host. when i let others in, they sabotage me. "self
sabotage" my therapist would say. i don't blame them. they're just as scared as
me. they don't want to die to happiness. to peace. everything, every emotion
needs a place to live. i wouldn't want to be selfish...




( Read more...Collapse )
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sleep is for….not for mexeyomaFebruary 17th, 9:31
it’s almost 10am. when did i sleep last? i took a nap last night…im sure of it…
i think. the loop repeats, i live the same day, or night. i barley see the day.
i miss it, i miss going outside, i miss riding my bike, i miss having purpose.
time is slipping through my fingers faster than water, and it scares me. i don’t
want to age, im not ready. my brain isn’t ready. i don’t feel like them, i don’t
understand like them. i’m not an adult…there’s just no way. “oh but you are” id
imagine the moon would say. how many times have i met her, watched her grow just
to die again. how many times has she watched me?

“they say sleep deprivation takes years off your life” does it? am i killing
myself? do i care? YES… but maybe not. maybe not enough. should i set reminders?
GO TO SLEEP XEYOMA. why does it scare me. i’m scared to sleep. i’m even more
scared of not getting sleep. vicious cycle, never ending dread and anxiety. my
chest hurts. my eyes are heavy. i’m very clearly tired. GO TO SLEEP! no… stay
up… re-write your entire online persona, design a 3d model, play video games,
watch gore, deep dive into a website that hasn’t been active in 10 years. BLOG
ON UR ONLINE JOURNAL THAT NOBODY READS!!!

anyways i’m off to bed. teehee.
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


emotional absencexeyomaFebruary 17th, 1:37

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i relate to simon all to wellxeyomaFebruary 17th, 1:29
Current Music:TEXT

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Archive

Oct2024

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Page Summary
 * xeyoma — new comic
 * xeyoma — I HATE U
 * xeyoma — i hate food
 * xeyoma — eating is eating me
 * xeyoma — sarah fier’s cursed hand by houston sharp
 * xeyoma — id still go back
 * xeyoma — love my hate
 * xeyoma — sleep is for….not for me
 * xeyoma — emotional absence
 * xeyoma — i relate to simon all to well

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

placesthe music in my head

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