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Retirement, Investments, & Insurance for Individuals Build your knowledge Not
sure how to have the “family and finances” talk? These tips can help


NOT SURE HOW TO HAVE THE “FAMILY AND FINANCES” TALK? THESE TIPS CAN HELP

Conversations with family about money can be difficult and emotional—but they're
necessary. Here’s help for beginning (and continuing) talks about family
finances.


3 min read | January 02, 2024

When’s the last time you had an honest conversation with a family member about
money? Turns out, many of us don’t even have open discussions in our own
households about finances: 30% of men and 19% of women have a credit card
balance their partners don’t know about.

But talking about money—what we do with it, what our plans are for it, whether
we need help with it—is important, and probably doesn’t happen enough. The
urgency may be even greater if your family includes people contemplating
retiring in the next few years: Over 40% of baby boomers, the generation aged
56-64, don't have any retirement savings.

These tips can help start and continue those important conversations about
family and finances.


1. START MEETING FORMALLY ABOUT MONEY AND FAMILY.

Sounds weird, right? But informal chats lead to surprises—and may also end up
with friction. Also avoid big days, like holidays; they should be focused on
celebration. Instead, set:

 * A scheduled time
 * A concise agenda; assume you’ll have multiple meetings (see step 2)
 * A comfortable location
 * A small list of attendees—just those playing a role in decisions


2. NARROW THE CONVERSATIONS.

Ultimately what you’re worried about may be big. But keep the topics simple: The
easier it is, the more confidence you will have in the discussions.

Family and finances conversation starters If you’re unsure about retirement
plans “What does retirement look like for you?” If long-term care may be an
issue “What worries you about money in the future?” If you don’t know what their
legacy plans are “How do you want to be remembered?” If you think they may have
financial concerns about income or expenses “What makes you comfortable or
uncomfortable talking about your money?”


3. TRY TO KEEP EMOTIONS OUT OF THE CONVERSATION.

Many people only start to talk family and finances when they’re facing a crisis
or having end-of-life conversations. “Talking about your finances at this stage
is forcing you to face your own mortality, and that’s never comfortable for
anyone,” says Stanley Poorman, a financial professional with Principal®.

These tips might help:

 * Write down talking points before you meet.
 * Take notes.
 * Avoid labels. Just because a sibling made a choice you disagree with, for
   example, doesn’t mean it’s OK to call them irresponsible.
 * End the meeting early, if needed, especially if the conversation becomes
   heated.
 * Listen. Then listen again.


4. SCHEDULE MONEY AND FAMILY MEETINGS REGULARLY.

With every successful conversation you have, set a time and a topic for the next
discussion. That helps you be specific and supportive; this isn’t the only
conversation, but the first conversation.


5. FIND NEUTRAL HELP IF NEEDED.

Poorman helps other people with their money for a living. Still, it can be hard
for his own family members to come to him for insight. If you feel stymied or
there’s too much tension, a neutral third-party, such as a financial
professional, may be able to help. “Sometimes I just put it out there that I can
help if they want, and let them come to me,” Poorman says.

That’s because learning how to talk to family about money is hard. “You won’t
get it right 100% of the time, but simply starting from a place of good
intentions is important,” Poorman says.




WHAT’S NEXT?

If you need to have your own conversation about family finances, it’s good to
prepare. Start by logging in to principal.com to check your savings rate. Don’t
have an employer-sponsored retirement account or want to save even more? We can
help you set up your retirement savings with an individual retirement account
(IRA). Ready to learn more ways you can build your financial foundation? Our
learning library can help.


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FOOTNOTES

Bread Financial US Census

The subject matter in this communication is educational only and provided with
the understanding that Principal® is not rendering legal, accounting, investment
or tax advice. You should consult with appropriate counsel, financial
professionals, and other advisors on all matters pertaining to legal, tax,
investment or accounting obligations and requirements.

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