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CHICKS ARE STUPID

This is the title of the book I’ll never get around to writing. This blog
attempts to break my reasons for thinking chicks are stupid into manageable
chunks. And if one less chick is stupid as a result of this blog, well, you're
welcome.


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Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor



 


WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

I make fun of lots of things. I make jokes. Some are funny, and some are groan
worthy. I’m proud of all of them. Busting on chicks has always been easy for me
since I’m surrounded by all kinds of them, and I am one myself.

The thing that makes me sad about this (I’m lying. I mean annoyed.) is not when
people don’t get the joke; it is when people pretend not to get the joke. The
result is that people think I spend my life seething in anger over chicks being
stupid.  

When something happens in life that I think I can turn into a funny rant about
moms, single gals, married gals, workaholic gals, you name it, I sometimes sit
down at my computer and knock out a funny tirade. I do not sit around all day
stewing in hate and anger. But it turns out people really think I do.

You’re welcome to think I’m spending 24 hours of my day brooding in crankiness
if all you know of me is this blog. If you’ve known me for over 20 years and
think I scream woman-hating rants at trees from my front porch? How tuned out of
our friendship were you?

I once heard 3rd person that someone made a comment about me and how I make fun
of people who won’t eat gluten. I don’t do that. I have about 30 hours of
college-level nutrition courses under my belt. I could school you six ways from
Sunday about Celiac Disease. I asked a group of friends who have known me since
I was 19 why anyone would think I’d make fun of a person with a disease, and the
response was “well, because of your blog.” I’ve even had friends say to me “I
know you’re going to yell at me for this, but…” I challenge them to give me one
example in the last couple decades when I have yelled at any friend in anger. Or
in any negative emotion. I’m still waiting for that example.

I’m still a wiseass in real life. I’m just not a wiseass on this blog as much as
I want to be. Over the past few years, people online pretend they don’t
understand when a joke is being made. We’re told what we can and can’t joke
about because it might hurt the feelings of someone we’ve never met. I’d never
read a comments section (if I had one, but I’m pretty sure I deleted it). I
never leave comments when I see something online that annoys me. I can’t wrap my
brain around why anyone would do that. After watching the last few seasons of
Homeland, I’m convinced those aren’t real people anyway. But this new world
order of hurt feelings prevents me from wanting to be funny on the Internet.
Between people getting fake offended or believing that I am the red character
from Inside Out, I’ve gone over a year without writing anything here. My sincere
apologies to the three of you who were reading regularly. Text me. I promise to
respond with the F word within the hour.

 * ∞ Permalink
 * Posted 6 years ago
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TURNS OUT I’M A SEXIST

Well shit. I’m a sexist.

It’s awful logging on to social media to see that something I do or say is now
frowned upon. How am I supposed to keep up with the ins and outs of being
offended these days? It’s exhausting. If I’m exhausted, imagine how tired the
Serially Offended are. And how bad would this all suck if I had feelings?

I learned I’m sexist because I call women bitches, cunts, and other nasty terms.
In my defense, I only call women bitches and cunts when they are being bitch-ass
cunts. I’m also not allowed to say bossy. Because who would say that about a
man? Why is it ok for a man to be bossy? They don’t get called bossy. No one
says men are bitchy in the workplace! Waaah!

Look. I am an equal opportunity name caller. Women can be assholes, and men can
be whiney twats. The name I call them does not matter; their behavior does. No,
it’s not ok for anyone to be bossy, bitchy, cunty, dickish, or douchey. But if
that’s what you’re being, then that’s what I’m going to say. The best way to get
me to stop with the sexist name calling is for people to stop being crusty old
coozes.

As a compromise, when men are being pains in my ass, I’ll now call them silly
bitches and yappy cunts. When women are being pains in my ass, I’ll start
calling them dicks and assholes. Better? Now that we’ve taken any reference to
one’s sex out of the equation, is everything fixed? NO. They’re words. Sticks
and stone, pussies. Toughen up already.

 * ∞ Permalink
 * Posted 7 years ago
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SH!T YOU MUST GET OVER BY AGE 40

Look out, world.


I turn 40 this month. Think I’ve softened one iota on stupidity in my advanced
age? Oh no. This Bicentennial Baby intends to double-down. Who better to make an
itemized list of all the shit you must – nay! –  are REQUIRED to get over once
you hit 40 than yours truly?

1) Your body: I did try to settle this years ago, but I wasn’t successful. If
you are 40 or over and you think you’re fat, shut your fucking
pumpkin-spice-latte hole already. This goes both for chicks who are actually fat
and chicks who just think they’re fat. Neither of you are permitted to bitch
about being fat anymore. Done. Stop it. STOP IT. If you’re not fat but won’t
stop thinking (or pretending to think) you are fat, see a therapist and do it
yesterday. Now if you are fat, I’ll give you a couple of options: Figure out how
to get un-fat or learn to appreciate the body you have. I don’t care which one
of these options you pick, but you must pick one and quit your bitching.

BE IT KNOWN! Anyone who calls themselves fat will, in return, BE CALLED FAT. BY
ME. REGULARLY.  Go on. I dare you to call yourself fat in front of me. DARE YOU.
So help me if any of you want to test me on this. Wait, no…so help YOU. I will
type “Fatty McWideAss” on your Facebook page. I’ll call you “Dimples Von
ChubbyRump” in front of your kid. I’ll tag you in pictures with the caption “36
weeks along!” I can’t express my lack of tolerance on this issue enough. If
you’re going to talk that way about yourself, then I will join you until you
stop. *Throws gauntlet*

2) Your childhood: If you had a shitty childhood for any number of reasons, get
over it. Poverty? Abuse? That all sounds horrible. But by age 40, you have had
plenty of time to see any number of therapists, support groups, pastors,
friends, and whomever the hell else to work through all that garbage.  Am I
saying ignore or deny the horrid days of your youth? Of course not. But by age
40, you should not be blaming your crappy upbringing for your lot in life today.
Daily dwelling on a shitty childhood sounds like quite the load to carry into
the next decade.

3) Your 20s: Ah, our 20s. College graduation. New jobs. First marriages. Crazy
broads being jealous that their friends were getting married and therefore
marrying the first assclown who comes along.  I spent my 20s hating my job and
having no desire to get married or have kids. In my 30s, I went on to hate most
jobs, get married, and (thank the Maker) never have kids. I’ve spent way too
much time being angry about my treatment in the workplace. I’m still angry about
it when it happens nowadays, but I don’t live with it every waking moment. That
said, this is minor compared to the gals who married and had kids with asshole
husbands. Oy. If a shitty job wasn’t easy to get over, then I can only imagine
how tough a divorce and custody battle would be to deal with. That said, DEAL
WITH IT. Again…therapy. Your church. Running. CrossFit. I don’t care if you talk
to a shrink or throw a kettle bell in a garage gym with a guy named Chet, but by
40, you can’t STILL let it get to you.

Let me be clear: We were all allowed to feel shitty about things, let things
affect us, let things get to us, and let things shape us. But we’re 40 now. I’m
happy to say I’m heading into this next decade not dwelling on any shitty thing
that has happened to me in the past 39 years. That would be, well, stupid.  

   # BicentennialBaby 40 ChicksAreStupid
 * ∞ Permalink
 * Posted 7 years ago
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GETTING PAID TO PRETEND TO BE ABSTINENT

Crap. Five years ago I wrote a blog about Jessica Simpson called “Abstinence:
You’re Doing it Wrong”. That’s what I wanted to name this one! Now I have to go
with a less obvious yet equally snarky joke for my blog title. Thinking is the
worst.


Have we discussed my distaste for children? I think we may have glossed over
that here before.

I’m so out of touch with pop culture (plus I’m mildly lazy) that I haven’t been
able to properly make fun of Bristol Palin in a timely manner. But fear not! I’m
gonna.

Bristol Palin, the modern-day poster child for abstinence (pause for
laughter…hahahaha! Oh, my ribs!), had her second baby out of wedlock last year.
Is this the part you think I’m going to start making fun? It’s not. But a gal
who has never been married who has two kids from two dads and made her living
giving abstinence-only speeches? That shit writes itself. Oh abstinent folk! Is
it lonely up there on Mount Pious? No. No it’s not. Because you’re all busy
getting railed up there.


Here’s the part I’m going to bash:

“I know this has been, and will be, a huge disappointment to my family, to my
close friends, and to many of you”. – Bristol Palin

Yeah, she said that! Allow me to come full circle:

I can’t stand kids. Can’t. Effing. Stand. Them.  But if my unwed 23-yr-old
cousin called me to tell me she was pregnant, no one in our family would
consider her a “huge disappointment”.  Being a young single mom sounds like a
very hard road…no, I’m sure it IS a very hard road. But it happens every day,
and every day we see examples of these young women pulling themselves up by
their bootstraps and getting shit handled. Do I want my unwed cousin to
accidentally have a baby right now? No. (If you’re reading this, Krissy, use a
condom.) But would the family be disappointed if that happened? Of course not.
On the contrary, my mother would probably move across the street from her just
to suck up the new baby smell.

For me, an accidental pregnancy would have been my nightmare. Because I loathe
kids…did we touch on that? OK, good. So for me, yes, I would be disappointed had
that happened to me. But would I have let everyone down? Including my family? Of
course not! That is what families do! If I got knocked up by a felon I met at a
dive bar at age 26, my mom would’ve been planning the baby shower and painting
the nursery. When things aren’t ideal, a family makes the best of it. Unless of
course you and your family are traveling the globe pointing fingers at all the
fornicators while spouting “Abstinence Only!” at the top of your Alaskan lungs. 


To sum it all up, it’s a little sad that this gal couldn’t be happy about her
pregnancy. Chicks have gotten knocked up in far worse circumstances than this! I
know I wouldn’t be happy about a pregnancy since I detest those little beasts,
but she obviously enjoys being a mom. But I’d guess (accurately) that what she
really meant was how disappointed she is not to bring home a quarter of a
million a year in speaker’s fees for her Pro-Abstinence speaking engagements.

   # abstinence # childfree # BristolPalin
 * ∞ Permalink
 * Posted 7 years ago
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2ND PLACE & SKINNY VS. 1ST PLACE & BADASS

When I first read this << blog >> over the summer, I instantly loved it. I’m
only now getting around to sharing it because I am lazy.


I really want you to read it, but if you don’t, here’s the recap: Serena
Williams and some other chick tennis player I’ve never heard of (mostly because
she’s not Serena Williams) discussed their body types. The other gal and her
coach said the plan was to keep her smaller and not a tower of muscles like
Williams because she wants to look like a woman. In this other gal’s (whose name
is Agnieszka Radwanska…I got around to googling it) words, she wanted to stay
slender because “I’m a girl”. She’s 27. Good grief do I dislike this chick.


The blog I linked to in the first sentence was a great take on this absurdity.
It’s a “What If” openly wondering how the Williams/Whatsername article would
sound if it featured Tom Brady as Williams and Russell Wilson as Whatsername:

<<Brady said that one particular long-sleeved garment would help him go
unnoticed in public. “My arms are really fit, but I wanted to cover them,
because when I do people don’t recognize me as much,” he said.>>

For what it’s worth, I’d kill for Williams’ arms. Obviously that’s just metaphor
because I’m not even willing to set down ice cream for those arms. But the gal
has dynamite arms.


<<Russell, who struggled this year before a run to the Superbowl, said that any
gain in muscle could hurt his trademark speed and finesse, but he also
acknowledged that how he looked mattered to him.

“Of course I care about that as well, because I’m a boy,” Russell said.>>

Could you fucking imagine? This makes me hate Russell Wilson, and he didn’t even
say that. Here’s another fun one:

<<Matt Ryan, the slender, blond quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons who has been
the highest-paid male athlete for more than a decade because of his lucrative
endorsements, said he still wished he could be thinner. “I always want to be
skinnier with less cellulite; I think that’s every boy’s wish,” he said,
laughing.>>

It was Maria Sharapova, a 28 year old WOMAN who said that.


It’s sad and hilarious all at once. What type of professional athlete would
rather look cute in shorts instead of being the top athlete in his/her sport?
Who does that? Stupid chicks; that’s who. If looking like “a girl” is more
important to you than being number one, perfect. Because you’re not.  I don’t
follow tennis, but I know who Serena Williams is. I had to google the rest of
the names.

I love the way this blogger made the original article look absurd. Men don’t
refer to themselves as boys, so what’s with chicks doing that? Chicks, broads,
gals…I use all of those because they make me laugh, and because I’m not a nice
person. But I don’t refer to myself as a “girl”.


I’m so sick of the media saying we have to love all bodies because they are all
beautiful blah blah blah. Oh shut up. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and
all that crap. Instead of teaching young girls that their body is beautiful no
matter what, how about we teach them “Who cares who thinks you’re beautiful?
It’s better to be kind, smart, and hard working.” Sounds like a better message
than telling us being overweight is beautiful, but slender girls are “skinny
bitches”.


In summary, if I looked like Serena Williams, I would be writing this blog
naked. I would also answer my front door naked and grocery shop in a bikini.


   # serena williams # OneHotMessBlog
 * ∞ Permalink
 * Posted 8 years ago
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AN OPEN LETTER TO PEOPLE WHO WRITE OPEN LETTERS TO CAM NEWTON

Gotcha! This is not an open letter. Those are stupid and I’ve determined we (the
entire Internet) should knock them the fuck off.

Instead, this is a blog about crazy Internet broads complaining about the wrong
thing.


I’m going to talk about a few young people: Justin Bieber, Johnny Manziel, and
Cam Newton. But first, let’s start with me. I turn 40 this year. (And please
prepare for me to be nothing short of insufferable from here on out anytime
someone says something patronizing.) These young men (and believe me, I want to
call them kids because I am turning 40 this year and am closer in age to their
mothers) have a few things in common. They have a talent someone is willing to
pay for. And pay they do! Because these 20something all came into millions at a
VERY young age.


We’ve all heard stories of people my age and older (Did I mention? I’ll be 40
this year.) who win the lottery and blow it because they are too stupid to know
how to manage money and don’t understand taxes. It’s sad. But imagine if you
were a 20something male who suddenly had over a million dollars in the bank.
Maybe you’d want to get high with friends and drag race a Ferrari down a
residential street or be in tabloid pics every other week with the Hollywood
starlet du jour. Maybe you’d want to ditch work to go to Vegas or get pulled
over by the cops while you and your (allegedly) drunk girlfriend are getting
into an (alleged) physical tiff? Maybe you’d start a charity to enhance the
lives of underprivileged kids?

If we’re being honest, we almost can’t blame a young person for acting a fool
once millions of dollars come into his life. Sports cars, drunk chicks, Vegas?
Sounds like a fine afternoon. But starting a charity and doing very little
fucking up in the public eye after you become uber rich? We could only hope most
young men go down that path.


Get to the point already, right? OK. Moms: STOP WRITING OPEN LETTERS ABOUT CAM
NEWTON. Fuck.

The NFL has what I’ll call a “slight image problem”. It has its share of
assholes who beat women or overpopulate the world by breeding a baker’s dozen of
kids. Direct your complaints toward those fools! But complain because you don’t
like his touchdown dance? An obnoxious victory dance is exactly what we should
expect from a 20something in the NFL; community outreach programs for kids in
his hometown are not. And to bitch because he balled up and tossed a 12th man
Kleenex, er, flag? Shut up. This is a guy who got into trouble as a teen, worked
his tail off, made it to the NFL, and NOW the Internet trolls say he’s
“classless“. He has the option of spending his downtime on top of a super model
but instead chooses to spend it serving Thanksgiving meals to kids.


Look, I’m not a Carolina fan. I’m barely even a football fan. I just think there
are so many great things out there to complain about. There are many idiots in
the NFL to complain about! But I don’t think Cam Newton is one of them. I have
to believe these chicks are writing these whiny open letters for the blog hits.
Let this be the official start to my test on whether or not writing about Cam
Newton makes one Internet famous.


 * ∞ Permalink
 * Posted 8 years ago
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MY ABSENCE, CYCLING, AND THE “WAR” ON WOMEN

Forgive me Tumblr, for I have sinned. It has been over 8 months since I last
posted my ramblings. Fear not, for I still ramble.

Do people blog anymore? I had a busy 2015, and I can’t tell if people stopped
altogether, or if I just stopped reading. Maybe a little of both? I try to read
what you other broads are saying, but it just makes me want to punch my computer
screen. I started reading a blog post recently about the sex lives of married
people, and I had to stop when the author - a grown woman - used the term “sexy
time”. Wow. When was Borat in theaters? And yes, a gal who uses the word “cunt”
with regularity is taking exception to the term “sexy time”.

I spent most of 2015 training for the Ironman Triathlon. Yes, really. It sucked.
I knew it would be a huge time commitment, but I never thought I’d hate sitting
on a bike as much as I hated sitting on a bike. Plus triathletes are dicks. I
have a handful of friends who also happen to be triathletes, and they are all
nice, normal people. However, every other triathlete you meet will be a grade A
douche-canoe. They want to make sure you know that you are not worthy of their
sport. It’s weird. Runners are super nice. Swimmers are friendly. I can only
assume cyclists are pretentious fuckers because they are angry from that feeling
of straddling a picket fence. Because that is what cycling feels like to me.

I considered writing a race recap. I’ve never written one before. I still may.
We’ll see if I make time for blogging in 2016.

Because guess what I missed while I was pedaling my way through 7-9 hours per
week of unbearable vadge pain? A war on women! An entire war! I’ll be perfectly
honest here: I have no idea what side I’m on. The Internet and the media would
have me believe there is a war on me. I don’t see it. I don’t feel it. Life is
pretty easy for a married gal with no kids who doesn’t overextend herself
financially.

Does this mean I’m leading the charge? After all, I did just call women “broads”
as recently as a few paragraphs ago.

That was a trick question! I am NOT leading the war on women because there is no
war. And seriously? Shut up. Just shut up if you want to tell me that there is a
war on me. If you are making .78 to the dollar of a man who has the same amount
of experience as you, you need to find a new job; not declare that there is a
war on you. If you want to complain about abortions rights or lack thereof, go
tell that story to someone with a uterus. And if Donald Trump calling women
names is your idea of a war? For shame. It’s name-calling. It’s what children
do. Grown women should be immune to name calling by now. Sticks and stones,
bitches.

I don’t take offense to shit, and I can’t stand the thin-skinned wussies who
pretend to be offended by the faceless folks of the Internet. But I’d like to
think a veteran of an actual war would get a kick out of the media’s use of that
word.


   # WarOnWomen
 * ∞ Permalink
 * Posted 8 years ago
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10 THINGS CHICKS MUST STOP SAYING ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Hey, Internet. I’m hoping I drew you in with my click-baity top 10 list title.
These usually reel me in, so perhaps they work on others.


Today, I have a request to make. There are a few words and phrases you need to
stop using immediately. As in yesterday. This is my plea to all of you reading
to strive to be a little more clever. Or not clever at all. I’ll take either!
But what you can no longer do is think you’re being clever when you’re just
being everyone else. Like writing a top 10 list or something…er, crap.

1) Yep.
No one says this in life. No one. Ellen said it on a magazine cover when she
came of the closet…IN THE 90s! “Yep” is not clever. You are not clever. You must
immediately stop.

“Yep, Jaden is teething!”


Or

“Yep, Caden is going to be a big brother!”


Yep, I’m sick of it. (See how annoying that was!)

2) This!
You must stop saying “This!” in lieu of “That is a great article, and I agree
with many of its valid points” when leaving comments on various social media
posts. I’m sure this was clever once. It’s not anymore.

3) To the moon and back.
For crying in the night. It’s Hayden’s birthday, and you are taking to social
media to leave a solid paragraph’s worth of gush about how mommy and daddy are
so lucky to be his parents, and you love him to the moon and back. Well what a
relief. Here I thought you just loved him to the moon. I was about to call CPS,
but then I saw that you both, in fact, love him to the moon AND BACK. That was a
close one. And I won’t even go there about how your baby can’t read. Or can he,
and that’s why you’re sharing this birthday wish on social media instead of
saying it to your kid? Because if I had a two-year-old who could read my
Facebook status, I’d love that little shit all the way to fucking Mars. But not
back (I’m pretty sure I’d only like my kid as a friend).  And by the way! I
almost didn’t write this because all of you - yes, all of you - do this. If you
are reading this and have given birth, you have done this. You’re reading this
now and thinking “Is she talking about me?” YES. Yes, she is. I don’t usually
write about my friends, but you all needed this warning and are welcome.

4) Daddy
Gals, your husband has a name. Use it when referring to him on the Internet. You
know, I’ve asked you many times to stop referring to your husband as Daddy in
your social media posts. Did I not ask nicely enough? Rudely enough? Loudly
enough? What’s it going to take?


“Daddy has to work late :( Mommy and Aiden are so sad!”


Or

“Daddy made dinner for us! We’re so blessed!”


I can’t understand any of that. My husband works late every day. Is that news
worth sharing on social media while referring to him by a pet name? (Hint: It is
not.)

5) Kiddos
Not once - in the history of ever- has any of my friends referred to their
children as “kiddos” when speaking to me. They say “My
son/daughter/kids/Braden”, but they will never say “kiddos”. All of this changes
on social media:

“Kiddos are driving mommy crazy today! LOL!”  


Or


“My kiddos are away for the weekend, and I have not stopped crying into my
wine.” (That’s also a jab at you moms who sob when your kids go away overnight.)

6) Peeps
Another one I’ve never heard spoken. “Hey Phoenix Peeps! Can anyone recommend a
roofer?” What’s wrong with “Can anyone recommend a local roofer?” Unfortunately,
I can tell  you what’s wrong with that. You will get 12 responses, and none of
them will give you the name of a local roofer. You’ll get:

“My dad is a roofer, but he retired”

“I have a great roofer, but I live in Riverside”

“I’ve never had to use a roofer. Our builder was great! #SoBlessed”.


As annoying as it is that no one can give you an answer when you crowdsource a
question, that does not give you permission to qualify your question by
narrowing it down to a certain demographic of “peeps”. (Happy Easter, by the
way!)

7) Sunday Funday
Just stop already. If you were really having fun, perhaps you wouldn’t have
spent the day taking pictures and posting them to various social media sites.
You’d just be, well, having fun. It’s ok if you don’t share that information
with 35 people  from your high school.

8) Dear person who will never read this:
Stop with your open letters to the guy who cut in front of you in line at Trader
Joe’s. He won’t read that. Just state your complaint. See how I easy I make it?

9) Happy birthday, Rover!
Your dog can’t read your birthday wishes, and if he can, THAT is news worth
sharing. Because that would be fucking awesome. I am a self-proclaimed CDL
(crazy dog lady), and I don’t even post multiple pictures of my dog to social
media in a month MUCH LESS a week. You must stop. 

10) You guys!
I see some bloggers out there who use “You guys!” at least three times in one
blog. Maybe it was funny/clever/who cares when the first person did it, but you
guys! You guys must stop.

 * ∞ Permalink
 * Posted 9 years ago
 * Tweet this


STICK IT

Even though everyone I know in real life makes fun of the “Stick Figure
Family” that some moms put on their minivans, I still continue to see
them everywhere. I live in the Northwest part of town, and it is a sea
of SUVs, minivans, families with 2.5 kids, and lots and lots of little
league. To sum it up, Stick Figure Family stickers are everywhere.

























In the past month, however, I’ve seen a new trend: The Broken Home
Stick Figure Family. Isn’t that cute? Mom and dad are split up, but they
leave the Stick Figure Family on the back window with dad crossed out,
semi-peeled off, or a cutesy phrase like “Position Open!’ with an arrow
pointing to dad.

























Really, broads? You can’t get a razor blade and some Goo Gone? Or
replace the window entirely? Some chicks clearly think it’s funny if
they leave the dad sticker there and make a snarky comment about how he
has since split. But I’m guessing your kids don’t think it’s funny. If I
were a seven-year-old and had to see mom’s distaste for dad broadcast
to the Northwest valley via the car window, I know this would have put a
little pit in my tiny tummy.

























Remember gals, stickers are a commitment. Don’t take the decision
to put one on your car so lightly. Think long and hard about it, and
perhaps attend some pre-sticker counseling. 

 * ∞ Permalink
 * Posted 9 years ago
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PLEASE TAKE OFFENSE

I need to come to terms with the fact that you, the crazy broads of the
Internet, will never stop taking offense to things that aren’t even directed
towards you. You’ll just keep looking for something to offend you, and you’ll
find it every time. Sounds exhausting.


Months ago, an old friend of mine who I knew from grade school through college
posted something on Facebook that she thought people should know. A little
background on her: I don’t think she ever earned a grade lower than A- in her
life. She was always whip-smart, super kind, and she grew up to become a
pediatrician. If there’s one thing I know about people who actually complete
medical school, it’s that they don’t do it for the glamor. To work with sick
little ones is a calling. And bless those who do, because it sounds like my
worst nightmare. What did she post? This!  An article stating that hand-held
electronic devices weren’t good for children under 12. Did I mention she’s a
pediatrician? And a mom? Whose heart is in the right place? She wouldn’t have
shared this if she didn’t think her friends who have children should take a look
at that info before giving junior an iPad. What happened next? Well in a normal
world, her friends would say either “Hey, this is good/interesting info” or
they’d ignore the post and keep scrolling. But we don’t live in a normal world
with normal parents. In this day and age of everyone taking offense to
everything, she had some annoying broad say the following:

“Haha yours is still young. Give it time until you’re dealing with a massive
tantrum at a restaurant and this is the only thing that will calm her down :)”

Instead of seeing this as advice from a pediatrician, this mom saw it as slight
against all moms who give their kids handheld devices to shut them up. That’s
right; someone decided to take it as a knock on her own parenting decisions. Way
to be offended by everything. Way to see something deemed helpful as a slap in
your face. And way to stick true to passive-aggressive seaword form by using
“haha” and a smiley as a way to say “What do you know about anything? You’re
wrong, PEDIATRICIAN WHO IS ALSO A MOM!” And that wasn’t even the only comment
implying that a trained medical professional was wrong. Sigh.

A few months have since past, and a second pediatrician friend (yes, I was
friends with at least two overachievers in high school!) who is also a father
posted an article discussing the links between SIDS and co-sleeping. Do I need
to tell you what happened next? Good, because I’m lazy.

As my hero, Dr. Drew, says…since when did science become just one of the
options?

(PS! These 2 pediatricians/parents both vaccinate. *ducks under desk to avoid
flying objects from crazed moms*)


   # DrDrew pediatricians ChicksAreStupid CrazyMoms
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