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HOME / RESOURCES / NEWS AND TRENDS / NEWSLETTERS / ATISACA / 2023 / VOLUME 1 /
THE PERENNIAL NEW YEARS QUESTION SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO


@ISACA


THE PERENNIAL NEW YEAR’S QUESTION: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

Author: Caitlin McGaw, Career Strategist and Job Search Coach, Caitlin McGaw
Coaching
Date Published: 4 January 2023



New year. New job? 

With time to rest, decompress and reflect at year end, most of us, maybe all of
us, find ourselves thinking about the year ahead – our goals, our plans for new
endeavors. The world in the shiny new year is our oyster. We want it to be
great. Perhaps a great new job will fulfill our career dreams. We also think
about fixing things that are broken and in need of repair. That could be, and
often is, our employment situation.

As each year winds down, I get lots of outreach about job market conditions,
resume revamping and requests for help with job search. The reasons for the
desired job or career change are many, with the most common ones focusing on the
desire for a new challenge, more growth, career progression, a pivot to a new
field – or, alternatively, frustration over a missed promotion, a bad manager or
below-market pay.

Recruiters love to hear about what is called in the search business the “career
wound”: the hurt, the pain that drives someone to consider new opportunities.
What recruiters are trained to do is dig into that wound to determine if this is
a real enough, deep enough pain to motivate this person to actually make a move.
If time is invested on this candidate, are they going to strive to win offers,
and most importantly, accept an offer and start the new job? This is the big ROI
question for every recruiter.

Word to the wise, there are a lot of less than terrific recruiters out there who
will try to capitalize on whatever dissatisfaction with your job or company you
express, magnifying it and offering you some sparkly options that they think
will entice you.

On a day when one has just had a lousy meeting with one’s manager, or a conflict
with a client, or an upsetting messaging from senior leadership or some other
frustration, it is easy to listen to someone holding out exciting new
possibilities. As one professional put it, “The grass is always greener when you
are angry.”

This article isn’t about working with recruiters, although I could write volumes
on that topic! This is about how we evaluate this critical career question that
is relevant throughout our careers: should I stay or should I go?

Dr. Andy Sih, a professor of ecology and animal behavior at UC Davis, and a team
of math modeling folks are creating a model to try to get a handle on how
animals “decide” whether to stay or go when they face big problems such as new
predators, more predators or not enough food – all things that that will likely
harm them if they stay in their current home range. That research is yielding
insights on how animals and, similarly, humans deal with uncertainty, how cues
in the environment are interpreted and understood, and how much and what kind of
information should we rely on to make decisions. Fascinating that humans and
animals face the same difficult stay-or-go dilemma!

One thing that neuroscientists have figured out is that human brains really do
not like uncertainty. That’s why we feel great when we finally achieve that
feeling of certainty that allows us to make a decision. Jonah Lehrer in his
terrific New York Times bestseller “How We Decide” looks at the neuroscience of
the brain and provides striking insights into what is going on in that
approximately three pounds (1300-1400 grams) of grey matter. Lehrer
characterizes the brain as constantly in argument with itself, with different
parts of the brain providing different inputs into the argument. The rational,
conscious brain gives you one set of considerations; the emotional brain gives
you other intelligence into the decision-making process.

“A brain that is intolerant of uncertainty – that can’t stand the argument –
often tricks itself into thinking the wrong thing.” What Lehrer strongly
suggests is that we not be tempted to rush and shortcut the process of
decision-making. A better strategy is letting all parts of our amazing brains
have their say. “The emotional brain is especially useful at helping us make
hard decisions. Its massive computational power – its ability to process
millions of bits of data in parallel – ensures that you can analyze all the
relevant information when assessing alternatives.”

But there is a caveat here, and that is that the emotional brain learns to
synthesize and assess huge amounts of data with its incredible background
processing abilities through experience, through the process of making mistakes
– which is how we acquire expertise. Before we have amassed lots of career
experience, we do need to be mindful of knowing that we don’t know what we don’t
know. With less experience, our “gut instincts” are not yet really dialed in. (I
can’t recommend this book highly enough!)

This why senior leaders can more often rely on their gut instincts. Earlier in
our careers, we need the perspective of those who have seen and experienced more
to help us gain perspective before we make our decisions. The power of a robust
and active network is that it gives you access to more and better information.
You also get the added value of being able to step back from the situation and
see it through other eyes and from other vantage points.

Tips when making important career decisions – including stay-or-go:

 * Build your network and use it effectively to obtain more information
 * Reach out to your senior mentors and get their perspective

When it comes to making a stay-or-go decision at work, we have loads of
conflicting inputs and feelings. I have worked with many candidates in the
throes of these decisions, and for nearly everyone, at every stage of their
career, these decisions are really tough. It is crazy that we are generally not
taught effective ways to do this as part of our university training.

Having modern tools and frameworks for decision-making is a must-have part of
your career tool kit. You have to build this skill set to make the decisions
that will help you build a successful and sustainable career.

To this end, an excellent resource is the book Decisive by the brothers Chip and
Dan Heath. Chip is a professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and
Dan is a Senior Fellow at Duke University’s CASE Center, which supports
entrepreneurs. Their book offers up processes for making decisions that are
must-know business tools.

One of the points in Decisive that is fundamental to making good decisions in
the stay-or-go scenario is “defining and enshrining your priorities.” The
authors state that, “When we identify and enshrine our priorities, our decisions
are now more consistent and less agonizing.” 

Enshrining your priorities. Here is a case study to illustrate this because it
is such an important point:

I recently was talking with a mid-career IT audit professional who had just been
offered a job with a major company in her city: a marquee company name to add to
her resume, more complex and challenging projects, good team chemistrya and more
money. Oh, and there were rumors that her current company might be bought.
Seemed like a slam-dunk, no-brainer decision. But it wasn’t. Her current role
was near her house with next to no commute, and that was a big bonus. The
commute was weighing heavily on her mind; it was the first thing she mentioned.

Contributing to the mental static was the fact that with some mid-management
departures at her current company, she appeared to be in a strategic position
for succession planning to a much bigger role. This triggered for her a loyalty
component. Her employer was pleasant; her boss was a good person; she liked her
team. What to do?

Through a 30-minute conversation we uncovered a route to a decision. The commute
to a hybrid office where she would need to drive 30 minutes to an hour each way,
two to three times a week, was definitely a negative on her pros and cons list.
BUT the opportunity to work in this bigger environment on complex projects when
she was feeling underutilized in her current job outweighed the time required
for the commute. Aha, critical priorities identified: Growth, learning and more
challenge trumped the commute. She could accept the extra time required by the
commute given the payoff in these areas.

Next, the possible promotion: attractive and high on the pro side. She had
invested time with the company. She was fairly confident that the promotion
would come her way if she bided her time. But with the ongoing rumors of the
company being bought, she decided that the opportunity to join the bigger,
stable company was the better move, even though the role would not immediately
have heaps more responsibility – just a lot more challenge and learning because
of the complexity and size of the company.

The risk of the company being sold was a BIG negative, and bigger than she had
initially thought when the commute was foremost in her mind. While future growth
was not guaranteed, she was confident that she would perform well and build her
way toward a leadership role in a stable company that was unlikely to get
bought, sold or merged. Another Aha! moment as she arrived at stability as a
critical priority.

What about the loyalty to her current company, boss and team? She was concerned
about leaving them in a lurch at a busy time of year. Was this loyalty worth
sacrificing what appeared to be a major career growth opportunity? 

We spoke about loyalty and how far that goes in today’s world. The truth is that
ultimately loyalty doesn’t go that far. This is not to say that loyalty is a bad
thing, but it can be a consideration that keeps us from doing what is optimal
for our careers. If we have learned nothing else about work since the 1980s it
is that we are all dispensable and disposable.

There was the final Aha! Taking the new role for the benefit of her career now,
and in the future, was a critical priority. She would find a way to graciously
transition her work and leave on good footing.

By the end of our conversation, the decision was obvious: Take the offer. And,
as so often is the case when a decision is made, it was clear that the weight
had lifted from her shoulders. Her brain had found its happy certainty.

A few final thoughts – while I was researching this fascinating and complex
topic, I spoke with a number of professionals about their stay-or-go decisions
and lessons they had learned along the way. So, that’s the final piece that I
want to share with you here:

 1. “No job will ever love you back.” Many people place overly high expectations
    on their employers (in great part fostered by the companies themselves) for
    things like career support, mentorship, care for my well-being, growth
    opportunities, seeing me as an individual. Companies will be “nice” to
    employees when it is beneficial for them. But, if we expect our employers to
    consistently deliver on things that are important to us, we will be greatly
    disappointed. The business will do what is right for the business.
    
    With that in mind, we have to claim our agency in our careers. We have to
    take charge as the CEOs of our own careers and make the well-considered
    strategic decisions that are the best for our careers, our health, our
    families and our ethics. We have to leave when we know it’s time. Loyalty
    will not protect our careers.

 2. “When your job stops giving you something, leave.” Read this to mean it’s
    time to leave when you have gotten everything that you can from a role or a
    company. Once you start repeating work or projects without learning
    something new, it is likely time to leave. However, one must be careful
    about how one assesses if they have extracted everything they can.
    Oftentimes we think we have, but in fact, if we step back, talk with others,
    look for new opportunities internally, there are solutions to the lack of
    learning that don’t involve leaving. Look for those BEFORE you make the
    decision to leave.

 3. “There is usually an inflection point when you know it is time to go.”
    Anticipate it, and be prepared with a contingency plan before you hit that
    point. This often comes up when companies are going through hard times.
    People are watching colleagues leave in droves. Should they go, too? You
    don’t want to be blindsided, but by the same token there may be an
    opportunity embedded in the chaos. As one executive said, “You might want to
    stay to see if it will bounce.” And, if the severance package has yet to be
    decided, consider whether it might not be worth staying to see that through.

 4. “Never leave for money – ever.” What this means is never leave JUST for the
    money. Career decisions made based on money alone are typically not the
    best. The top five parameters for judging a new role: 1) New challenge; 2)
    Learning opportunities; 3) Career growth; 4) Great boss; 5) A company I
    believe in. (This is not a ranking, just a list.) If all, or most of those
    conditions are met, you are on pretty solid ground. Money is very nice to
    have, but it does not outweigh these five critical parameters for career
    success or happiness.

 5. “If you leave, you have to impress again. Build equity again. Do it all
    again. It’s tiring. Is it worth it?” It is important to consider this
    because it is absolutely true. A new job is a lot of work. Make sure you are
    prepared to put in the hours and earn the wins.

 6. “Leave when you are the smartest person in the room.” If there aren’t people
    who know more than you do, this can cause you to plateau. Your engagement in
    the role starts to drop. Perhaps you even start to resent the work because
    you are coming up with all the solutions. You may become a threat to your
    boss, or alternatively, your boss may hold you back from growth roles
    because you are doing such a great job making them look good.

 7. “Are you building the next great chapter in your career narrative? How will
    you answer the questions about this role or this career move to future
    interviewers?” Brilliant concept. Each job is a chapter in our career story.
    What are we going to say about it? What have we learned? How does it fit?

 8. “Never leave on bad terms.” Every market is small. Every industry is tiny.
    Bad behavior gets found out. Everyone talks. Reputation is hard to rebuild.
    Truth.

This article is certainly not a definitive one on the stay-or-go question. There
are so many nuances in stay-or-go decisions that it is hard to write a short
piece and cover a broad swath of ground. My hope is that this article gave you
new ideas to ponder, books from experts to read for tools and paradigms, a sense
of how hard these decisions are (you are not alone in this struggle!), and
finally, how vital the decisions are to your career success.

If you are looking for a soft skill to add to your 2023 goals, put this right
near the top of your list. It’s safe to bet that you’ll need it sooner than you
think!

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