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—Written and Narrated by Jeanne Mack Sam, Kinjal, and I hunt for footholds along the farm-bordered road outside of Waitsfield, Vermont. We aim for the least loose patches of dirt to push off of and try to ignore the hill rising up ahead of us. We are on our second two-mile repeat, heading back to where we began the workout. I don’t notice that the first rep was mostly downhill until we flip directions and start running hard the opposite way. Sam motions for me to go ahead of her about a mile in, just as I am falling off. She knows that I raced the night before and sees that I am drifting back, losing steam on the hill. I push through the burn in my quads and muscle my way to where she’s gesturing. As I rejoin the pack, the humidity around us breaks into a light, cooling drizzle. I hear it landing in whispers on the wide, green leaves fanned out over our heads. I crest the hill tucked between Kinjal and Sam, and we keep going. What feels like eons later, we finish that rep, and I work to get my breathing under control, knowing I have a decision to make. I am either going to complete the workout and do the third and last repeat, or call it there to avoid getting my body into too deep of a hole. For Chicago, I’ve set a specific target. I want to be as close to 2:40 as possible, ideally on the faster side of it—think Price is Right rules. So when I had the chance to join a handful of ambitious marathoners for a weekend of training in Vermont, I said yes. That weekend just happened to be the day after an ill-timed, but favorite-of-mine road 10-miler. Still, I know that part of staring down my 2:40 goal involves taking every chance possible to reach out and try to touch the still-glowing stovetop. Standing on that dirt road in the rain in Vermont, my legs are tight and sore from the race, but somehow willing to give a little more, because Sam and Kinjal are there, waiting. I nod, take a breath, and do about another kilometer before recognizing I’m not going to get more out of the day and pulling the plug. I watch them keep going and feel guilty I stopped, but know that I’ve discovered a little more. I’ve found a sharper, deeper edge; the boundary of exactly which rep I imploded on and the point at which I felt I couldn’t keep going. And I wouldn’t have uncovered those particular coordinates without Sam waving me ahead of her halfway through two miles, or Kinjal towing me up the hill. I let the soreness sink into my calves while I wait to rejoin them for a cool down. As everyone chats training and racing over the rest of the weekend, I catch myself feeling anxious about my next marathon. But for new reasons this time. I ran New York to present myself with a challenge that was unfamiliar. I’m running Chicago to see if I can take something I’ve already done and make it unfamiliar again. Racing ten miles on the roads the night before a training trip with competitive marathoners probably wasn’t the most conventional, or logical plan. But, when I registered for the 2018 Chicago Marathon a few months earlier, I’d made a deal with myself: this second attempt would be different from my first marathon. I’d stood on the starting line in New York City in November 2017, filled with nervous energy, and anxious with the uncertainty of what running 26.2 miles hard, at once, would be like. After years of racing distances that had come to feel like dependable adversaries, escaping to a new, completely foreign territory was a welcome release. Not knowing if I would even be able to race the marathon took away the pressure of having to do it well. That relief from my own expectations was something I’d chased. But, dodging the acute uneasiness of setting a specific goal was really just me avoiding a fight. I finished in 2:45:20 in New York, missing the Olympic Trials B standard by 20 seconds. My lack of expectation had been freeing, but had also left me staring hungrily at a goal I didn’t even realize I deeply wanted to attain until it was too late. Kindred spirits Sam, Jeanne and Kinjal used this Vermont training camp as part of the build-up for their fall marathons. Each is aiming to run an Olmypic Trials Qualifying time at CIM, Chicago and Philadelphia, respectively. Our Fall 2018 collection is available at Tracksmith.com. SHOP FALL 2018 1/3 1/4 photography words Art Direction Emily Maye Jeanne Mack Rafael Oliveira Share Project Current Page Share Tweet Pin Linkedin Embed Close Report Embed Responsive 512×383 288×236 Back Emily Maye Jeanne Mack Rafael Oliveira