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Effective URL: https://www.iainduguid.com/book
Submission: On October 19 via api from US — Scanned from AU
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top of page Skip to Main Content * Home * About * Results * Samples * Voiceover * Contact * More Use tab to navigate through the menu items. LET'S NOT BE A DICK TODAY IAIN DUGUID BUY VIA AMAZON PRIME + OUTSIDE AUSTRALIA BUY DIRECT (AUS) More goes to the author on orders of 2+ Tell me why Let’s Not Be A Dick Today is a comprehensive, but in no way complete guide to handle some of the different types of dicks that surround us. You might identify as one or more of the dicks mentioned in this book, and that’s ok! You’re a flawed human! But it doesn’t give you an excuse to be a dick. Let’s Not Be A Dick Today will help you to define a particular act of dickery, broach the topic with a dick, and offer self-help for recovery. Or, if you're conflict-avoidant, dog-ear a page (or more) and gift this book to a dick in your life. BUY VIA AMAZON BUY DIRECT (AUS) PRIME + OUTSIDE AUSTRALIA More goes to the author on orders of 2+ Tell me why THE DICKS THE RE-TARDY Someone who is tardy again and again. THE TIME BOMBER Someone who expects you to help them without warning. THE BENCHER Someone who doesn’t respond to invitations. THE MAGICIAN Someone who disappears. THE ORGANISER An organiser who doesn’t know what’s happening. THE INCEPTOR Someone who expects you to read their mind. THE ASSISTANT Someone who offers assistance but arrives too late to help. THE WEDDING PLANNER A couple that holds their wedding on a weekday. THE COMPANION Someone who chooses next to you over every other free space. THE ROCKSTAR Someone who never considers the parking needs of others. THE INTIMIDATOR Someone who uses intimidation to get their way. THE INFLUENCER Someone who acts as though they are a social media influencer. THE QUOTER Someone who reposts a comment they made. THE ANCHOR Someone who spreads misinformation. THE MODEL CITIZEN Someone who does a good deed and tells everyone. THE PYRAMID TEAMER Someone who wants to help you but it’s a pyramid scheme. THE THESPIAN Someone who is over-dramatic to seek attention. THE FISHER Someone who constantly fishes for compliments. THE OVERSHARER Someone who shares everything on social media. THE PROFESSOR Someone who delivers unsolicited lectures. THE BUTTER Someone who interrupts you in conversation. THE SHOULDER JUMPER Someone who is indecisive, especially with simple decisions. THE NO SHO’ Someone who disagrees with every option but won’t contribute. THE SEAMUS Someone who criticises the appearance or choices of others. THE DESIGNER Someone who criticises the clothing choices of others. THE LEECH Someone who sucks away your confidence. THE HOLINAYER Someone who won’t let you enjoy a holiday. THE JUDGE Someone who dismisses suggestions without consideration. THE CONVERTER Someone who tries to convert people, often to a religion. THE PLOT WHOLE FILLER Someone who talks at a vital moment. THE FINE WHINER Someone who complains after receiving a fine. THE COMPLAINER Someone who complains but won’t make improvements. THE HOMOPROBE Someone who makes a big deal of someone coming out. THE WHATABOUTA Someone who complains that you’re not doing something else. THE SUBMARINER Someone who shares opinions for social approval. THE SOCIAL DICTATOR Someone who shames others for not being as active as them. THE PROTEST PROTESTER Someone who says your cause isn’t good or far enough. THE SOCIALIST JUSTICE WARRIOR Someone with a great wage who complains about cost of living. THE LOVE GOD Someone who prefers peace and love instead of meanies. THE TABLER Someone who purposely talks about controversial topics. THE CHALLENGER Someone who argues about issues they know nothing about. THE GRAMMAR NAZI Someone who always corrects someone’s grammar. THE GRAMMAR NO-ZI Someone who doesn’t bother to learn basic grammar. THE WEEKLY PLANNER Someone who says “See you next Tuesday”. THE CUNTSTABLE Someone who detests the word “cunt”. THE RACONTEUR Someone who tells others’ stories, but poorly. THE FOREIGNER Someone who speaks with a fake accent to appear interesting. THE NEXT GENNER Someone who uses a younger generation’s slang to sound cool. THE NICKNAMER Someone who uses childish nicknames for adults. THE CLEANER Someone who complains the house isn’t clean enough. THE LIFTER Someone who leaves the toilet seat up in a shared bathroom. THE ROLL ROLLER Someone who doesn't replace the toilet roll. THE FRIDGE PACKER Someone who leaves empty containers in the fridge. THE CONTRADICTOR Someone who sets rules but they only apply to you. THE GATEKEEPER Someone who must give you permission to use amenities. THE DICK PIC-ER Someone who sends unsolicited pictures. THE WITNESS Someone who doesn’t respond to time-sensitive communication. THE P.O.W Someone who is actively texting then suddenly stops. THE INTERNET Someone who is always connected to their phone. THE PROJECTOR Someone who talks loudly - especially on the phone. THE LOUDSPEAKER Someone who uses the phone’s loudspeaker in public spaces. THE DICTAPHONE Someone who leaves long voicemail messages/voice notes. THE BESTIE Someone who sends long, emotional messages to acquaintances. THE TAPPER Someone who sends multiple messages in a chat. THE HAGGLER Someone who barters inappropriately. THE DISCOUNTER Someone who always asks for a discount. THE YAPPER Someone who continues to talk on the phone when being served. THE SQUATTER Someone who speaks to the checkout assistant for too long. THE RECOMMENDER Someone who recommends a product they would never buy. THE TRAINER Someone who is an expert on a product but asks for assistance. THE CYCLIST Someone who is “superior” because they’re a cyclist. THE BUTTON PUSHER Someone who pushes the crossing button after they have crossed. THE ZOMBIE Someone who walks slowly in front of you. THE BAG SEAT RIDER Someone who places their personal belongings on seats. THE TOOTER The passenger of a vehicle who reaches over to toot the horn. THE EARLY BLOWER Someone who will blow their horn prematurely. THE BUFFERING GPS Someone who tells you to turn… back there. THE PUBLIC MASTICATOR Someone who chews loudly, with their mouth open, or both. THE PICKER Someone who takes the best piece of food first. THE CRUMB MERCHANT Someone who doesn’t clean up after eating. THE ODOURVE Someone who eats smelly food in public. THE MENU TWEAKER Someone whose dietary requirements affect an entire party. THE FERMENTOR Someone who doesn’t clean up their pet’s poop in public. THE PUNCHLINE PUNCHER Someone who ruins the punchlines of jokes. THE PRETENTIOUS BOUNCER A bouncer who enforces higher than necessary standards. THE DWARF Someone who buys a smaller drink as part of a shout. THE STAND-IN Someone who stands where you were standing. THE CUTTER Someone who cuts in a line. THE FAR QUEUER Someone who believes they don’t need to join a line. THE CLIPPER Someone who trims their toenails in public. THE SQUIRTER Someone who applies a heavy amount of perfume. THE SUPER SPREADER Someone who doesn’t cover their mouth when coughing. THE CHIMNEY Someone who smokes around non-smokers. THE MATCHFAKER Someone who says they’ll set up a single friend but doesn’t. THE EIGHT BALL Someone who decides your future. THE SHOWER CURTAIN Someone who doesn’t respect the personal space of others. THE RELOCATOR Someone who makes a family move after settling. THE BABY MOMMA Someone who uses baby talk in adult settings. THE GURU Someone who tells a parent how to parent. THE NUN Someone who disciplines other parents’ kids. THE BYSTANDER A parent who watches on instead of doing something/anything. THE MVP The parent of a child that is developing faster than yours. BUY VIA AMAZON BUY DIRECT (AUS) PRIME + OUTSIDE AUSTRALIA More goes to the author on orders of 2+ Tell me why WHAT TO EXPECT FLOWCHART See if you classify as a certain kind of dick. IDENTIFY Learn some of the characteristics of that particular dick. WHY Understand why you, and/or the person you've identified are a dick. INFORM Discover how you might tell a dick that they are a dick. CURABILITY Some dicks are curable, some are not. This section will tell you if rehabilitation is possible. SELF-HELP If you're a dick but don't want to be, the Self-Help section offers advice to improve yourself. READ A SAMPLE BUY VIA AMAZON BUY DIRECT (AUS) PRIME + OUTSIDE AUSTRALIA Anchor 1 More goes to the author on orders of 2+ Tell me why WHY TWO BUY BUTTONS? The author earns more on Australian orders when you buy direct 2 BUTTONS EXPLAINED When bought via Amazon, they take ~40%. When you buy direct (AUSTRALIA ONLY), that 40% goes to the author. LOAD UP ON CHRISTMAS GIFTS! It's hard to compete with Amazon's shipping fee. Whilst some of the postage cost is absorbed to keep it affordable, the profit redistribution only kicks in on orders of 2+. This is why the buy direct option is limited to Australia. If you get free shipping through Amazon, select the Amazon option. Thanks for thinking about buying Let's Not Be A Dick Today. CONTRIBUTE Share a dick and it might appear in any future books in this series! Drop your example below. Don't forget your name + city so you can be credited if it's used. Maybe. First name + Last Initial City, Country. Email Example of a dick in your life I accept that my input may be used (as inspiration, verbatim or edited) in further publications and content. I am donating this idea and do not expect any remuneration in return. Send me an email if my idea is used, or if/when a new book is released. Submit Thanks for submitting! bottom of page