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Business


KEEPING CHILDREN SAFE ON SOCIAL MEDIA: WHAT PARENTS SHOULD KNOW TO PROTECT THEIR
KIDS

By The Associated PressFebruary 4, 2024 6:00 am

Social media CEOs got grilled by Senate lawmakers this week in an emotional and
often heated hearing about the dangers their platforms pose to children — sexual
predators, videos encouraging suicide and glorifying eating disorders, bullying
and addictive features, just to name a few.

Republican and Democratic senators came together in a rare show of agreement
throughout the hearing, though it’s not yet clear if this will be enough to pass
legislation such as the Kids Online Safety Act or other proposed measures
intended to protect kids from online harms.

Even with apparent bipartisan unity, making laws and regulating companies takes
time. What are parents — and teens — supposed to do in the meantime? Here are
some tips on staying safe, communicating and setting limits on social media —
for kids as well as their parents.



IS 13 THE MAGIC AGE FOR SOCIAL MEDIA?

There’s already, technically, a rule that prohibits kids under 13 from using
platforms that advertise to them without parental consent: The Children’s Online
Privacy Protection Act that went into effect in 2000 — before today’s teenagers
were even born.

The goal was to protect kids’ online privacy by requiring websites and online
services to disclose clear privacy policies and get parents’ consent before
gathering personal information on their kids, among other things. To comply,
social media companies have generally banned kids under 13 from signing up for
their services, although it’s been widely documented that kids sign up anyway,
either with or without their parents’ permission.

But times have changed, and online privacy is no longer the only concern when it
comes to kids being online. There’s bullying, harassment, the risk of developing
eating disorders, suicidal thoughts or worse.

For years, there has been a push among parents, educators and tech experts to
wait to give children phones — and access to social media — until they are
older, such as the “Wait Until 8th” pledge that has parents sign a pledge not to
give their kids a smartphone until the 8th grade, or about age 13 or 14. Some
wait even later, like 16 or 17.

But neither social media companies nor the government have done anything
concrete to increase the age limit.

IF THE LAW WON’T BAN KIDS, SHOULD PARENTS?



“There is not necessarily a magical age,” said Christine Elgersma, a social
media expert at the nonprofit Common Sense Media. But, she added, “13 is
probably not the best age for kids to get on social media.”

The laws currently being proposed include blanket bans on the under-13 set when
it comes to social media. The problem? There’s no easy way to verify a person’s
age when they sign up for apps and online services. And the apps popular with
teens today were created for adults first. Companies have added some safeguards
over the years, Elgersma noted, but these are piecemeal changes, not fundamental
rethinks of the services.

“Developers need to start building apps with kids in mind,” she said.

Some tech executives, celebrities such as Jennifer Garner and parents from all
walks of life have resorted to banning their kids from social media altogether.
While the decision is a personal one that depends on each child and parent, some
experts say this could lead to isolating kids, who could be left out of
activities and discussions with friends that take place on social media or chat
services.

Another hurdle — kids who have never been on social media may find themselves
ill-equipped to navigate the platforms when they are suddenly allowed free rein
the day they turn 18.



TALK, TALK, TALK

Start early, earlier than you think. Elgersma suggests that parents go through
their own social media feeds with their children before they are old enough to
be online and have open discussions on what they see. How would your child
handle a situation where a friend of a friend asks them to send a photo? Or if
they see an article that makes them so angry they just want to share it right
away?

For older kids, approach them with curiosity and interest.

“If teens are giving you the grunts or the single word answers, sometimes asking
about what their friends are doing or just not asking direct questions like,
‘What are you doing on Instagram?’ but rather, ‘Hey, I heard this influencer is
really popular,’” she suggested. “And even if your kid rolled their eyes it
could be a window.”

Don’t say things like “Turn that thing off!” when your kid has been scrolling
for a long time, says Jean Rogers, the director of the nonprofit Fairplay’s
Screen Time Action Network.



“That’s not respectful,” Rogers said. “It doesn’t respect that they have a whole
life and a whole world in that device.”

Instead, Rogers suggests asking them questions about what they do on their
phone, and see what your child is willing to share.

Kids are also likely to respond to parents and educators “pulling back the
curtains” on social media and the sometimes insidious tools companies use to
keep people online and engaged, Elgersma said. Watch a documentary like “The
Social Dilemma” that explores algorithms, dark patterns and dopamine feedback
cycles of social media. Or read up with them how Facebook and TikTok make money.

“Kids love to be in the know about these things, and it will give them a sense
of power,” she said.

SETTING LIMITS



Rogers says most parents have success with taking their kids’ phones overnight
to limit their scrolling. Occasionally kids might try to sneak the phone back,
but it’s a strategy that tends to work because kids need a break from the
screen.

“They need to an excuse with their peers to not be on their phone at night,”
Rogers said. “They can blame their parents.”

Parents may need their own limits on phone use. Rogers said it’s helpful to
explain what you are doing when you do have a phone in hand around your child so
they understand you are not aimlessly scrolling through sites like Instagram.
Tell your child that you’re checking work email, looking up a recipe for dinner
or paying a bill so they understand you’re not on there just for fun. Then tell
them when you plan to put the phone down.

WHAT ABOUT PARENTAL CONTROLS?

Social media platforms that cater to children have added an ever-growing array
of parental controls as they face increasing scrutiny over child safety. For
instance, Meta unveiled parental supervision tools last year that lets parents
set time limits, see who their kid follows or is followed by, and allows them to
track how much time the minor spends on Instagram. It does not let parents see
message content.

But as with similar tools on other platforms such as TikTok, the feature is
optional, and both kids and parents have to agree to use it. In order to nudge
kids toward agreeing to set up the controls, Instagram sends a notice to teens
after they block someone, encouraging them to let their parents “supervise”
their account. The idea is to grab kids’ attention when they might be more open
to parental guidance.

By making the feature optional, Meta says it is trying to “balance teen safety
and autonomy” as well as prompt conversations between parents and their
children.

Such features can be useful for families in which parents are already involved
in their child’s online life and activities. Experts say that’s not the reality
for many people.

U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy said last year it’s unfair to expect parents
to manage what their children do with rapidly evolving technology that
“fundamentally changes how their kids think about themselves, how they build
friendships, how they experience the world — and technology, by the way, that
prior generations never had to manage."

Putting all of that on the shoulders of parents, he said "is just simply not
fair.”

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