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Location: Home › Relationship advice › Relationship Advice › Relationship
difficulties › Normal differences and warning signs of a relationship breakdown
Navigation
* Relationship Advice
* Enriching your relationship
* Parenting and relationships
* Relationship difficulties
* Normal differences and warning signs of a relationship breakdown
* Problems with sex
* Acknowledging and dealing with anger
* Domestic and family violence - controlling and violent relationships
* Safety Plan
* How violence and abusive behaviour affects children
* When is a good time to seek professional relationship help?
* Ending a relationship
* Starting a new relationship
* Online Relationships
* Relationships and community
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* Is gambling affecting your relationships?
* What is Elder Abuse?
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NORMAL DIFFERENCES AND WARNING SIGNS OF A RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
Why do relationships get into difficulties?
HAVING DIFFERENCES IN A RELATIONSHIP IS NORMAL
Many things can create difficulties in relationships:
* stress and pressure about anything including health, work, parents, children
or money
* different goals and expectations
* different perspectives or values
* lack of time to spend together or lack of interest
* limited trust
* financial insecurity/difficulties
* raising children
* infertility
* addictions
* serious illness or disability
* sexual difficulties
* job loss or unemployment
* violence or abuse
* issues arising from a previous relationship.
It's better to talk about the issues than ignore them.
DIFFERENCES OF OPINION AND INTERESTS CAN ENRICH A RELATIONSHIP.
People bring different perspectives, talents and strengths to a relationship.
You might appreciate some of the things your partner has to offer – great
cooking, their sense of humour, good sex, getting on well with your family and
friends – but you might not like their taste in music, the time they spend on
technology or the fact they get stressed easily. Some conflict in relationships
is inevitable, but there are ways to handle it so it is not destructive to you
individually or as a couple.
Relationships can become stronger if partners can talk about differences and
stress as a normal part of their relationship. Conflict can often be resolved
and serious matters dealt with through respectful communication and a bit of
give and take.
WHAT DOES CONFLICT IN A RELATIONSHIP INDICATE?
Frequent conflict and anger may indicate that all is not well, and change is
needed to keep the relationship healthy.
The key questions are
* how can you manage not to hurt each other or your relationship when you have
a row? and
* how can you learn from the conflict?
Avoiding conflict, or agreeing not to talk about the issue that caused the
conflict, might provide short-term peace. However, it's better to sort out
important relationships issues.
Conflict is a symptom – if you patch things up without finding out what’s at the
bottom of your differences, you’ll probably find yourselves in conflict again.
WARNING SIGNS OF A RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
Noticing early warning signs of relationship breakdown can help a couple resolve
conflicts. Early warning signs include:
* you don’t do things together as much as before
* you have recurring arguments about the same issues that are never resolved
* you feel dissatisfied and unhappy
* you have sex less often, or it isn't what it used to be
* one partner spends increasing time on interests and activities outside the
relationship
* there is a loss of warmth and friendliness in the relationship, one or both
of you speak of no longer being in love
* you feel tired and less able to meet responsibilities at work and at home
* arguments about the children continue
* one of you has an addiction problem that is affecting the relationship.
If you see some of these signs in your relationship you will need to consider
what you will do to address the problem if you want the relationship to improve
or even survive.
For information on counselling or Relationships Australia services close to you
phone 1300 364 277.
Related content Acknowledging and dealing with anger Domestic and family
violence - controlling and violent relationships How violence and abusive
behaviour affects children When is a good time to seek professional relationship
help?
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The views or opinions expressed in this information are general in nature and do
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deal with individual and complex issues.
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