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SYDNEY SLAA MEN

WELCOME TO SLAAMEN.AU – YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

slaa.org.au

Official Australian website

store.slaa.org.au

buy Literature & donate online

Welcome Pack

Get all the essential information in one document.

Join Signal group

Daily readings, outreach contacts, and stories shared

Men’s Zoom Meeting 123

Join the Tuesday & Thursday meetings by clicking here

On Tuesday there are two meetings running at the same time. (Room and Zoom). We
combine hybrid on the last Tuesday of the month.
All meetings share the Signal group.

What is SLAA?

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition oriented
fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous.
All members share an obsessive or compulsive emotional and sexual pattern, in
which relationships or activities have become increasingly destructive in all
areas of life — career, family and sense of self.
It is open to people of any race, age, sexual orientation or gender identity.
The only qualification is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love
addiction.

SLAA is supported entirely through the contributions of its membership and is
free to all who need it.
To counter the destructive consequences of sex and love addiction, we draw on
five major resources:

1. Sobriety. Our willingness to daily stop acting out in our own personal
bottom-line addictive behaviour.
2. Sponsorship & Meetings & Calls. Our capacity to reach out for the supportive
fellowship within SLAA.
3. Steps. Our practice of the Twelve Step program of recovery to achieve sexual
and emotional sobriety.
4. Service. Our giving back to the SLAA community what we continue to freely
receive.
5. Spirituality. Our developing a relationship with a power greater than
ourselves which can guide and sustain us in recovery.

As a fellowship SLAA has no opinion on outside issues and seeks no controversy.
SLAA is not affiliated with any other religious or secular organisations,
movements or causes.
We are united in a common focus: dealing with our addictive sexual and emotional
behaviour.
We find a common denominator in our obsessive and compulsive patterns, which
goes beyond any personal differences of sexual orientation or gender identity.
We avoid drawing attention to SLAA from the public media.
We protect with special care the anonymity of every SLAA member.

Now we are not alone.

12 Steps of Sex and Love Addiction

01 We admitted we were powerless over sex and love addiction – that our lives
had become unmanageable.
02 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity.
03 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood God.
04 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
05 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of
our wrongs.
06 Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
07 Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
08 Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends
to them all.
09 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
10 Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it.
11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a
Power greater than ourselves, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us
and the power to carry that out.
12 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to
carry this message to sex and love addicts, and to practice these principles in
all areas of our lives.

12 Promises

The Promises

If you have decided to follow the suggestions of this program, a new life will
begin to unfold within you. Along with this new life are promises that will
guide and sustain you. They are manifesting among us, sometimes quickly,
sometimes slowly.

01 We will regain control of our lives.
02 We will begin to feel dignity and respect for ourselves.
03 The loneliness will subside and we will begin to enjoy being alone.
04 We will no longer be plagued by an unceasing sense of longing.
05 In the company of family and friends, we will be with them in body and mind.
06 We will pursue interests and activities that we desire for ourselves.
07 Love will be a committed, thoughtful decision rather than a feeling by which
we are overwhelmed.
08 We will Love and Accept ourselves.
09 We will relate to others from a state of wholeness.
10 We will extend ourselves to nurture our own spiritual growth and that of
others.
11 We will make peace with our past and make amends to those we have harmed.
12 We will be thankful for what has been given us, what has been taken away and
what has been left behind.

Updated version (2021)
01 We will develop a healthy balance: physically, emotionally and spiritually.
02 We will begin to feel dignity and respect for ourselves.
03 The loneliness & isolation will subside and we will begin to enjoy life when
alone.
04 We will no longer be plagued by an unceasing sense of longing.
05 We will be present in body and mind in all of our relationships.
06 We will pursue interests and activities that we desire for ourselves.
07 Love will be a committed, thoughtful decision rather than an experience that
overwhelms us.
08 We will love and accept ourselves.
09 We will relate to others from a state of wholeness.
10 We will nurture our own spiritual growth and extend ourselves to others.
11 We will make peace with our past and make amends to those we have harmed.
12 We will be thankful for what has been given us, what has been taken away and
what has been left behind.

7 Blessings

As we use the Twelve Steps of SLAA in our recovery, many of us experience higher
levels of self-esteem, and receive unexpected blessings we would not have known
how to ask for.
1 We came to find intimacy with ourselves, intimacy with a Higher Power (God)
and then intimacy with others.
2 In domestic partnerships we discovered a whole new experience of sexuality as
a non-addictive medium.
3 In relationships with others we let go of self-serving power and prestige as
driving motives.
4 Careers that had been exploited mainly for material security, at the expense
of self-fulfilment, no longer appealed to us.
5 Our usefulness as channels for healing was a direct result of our experiences
in sickness, as well as in recovery.
6 We discovered that we could continue to affirm our recovery by working with
other sex and love addicts.
7 We discovered that the source of love, which was of a Higher Power (God), had
begun to flow from within us.

12 Signs of Recovery from addiction…

01 We seek to develop a daily relationship with a Higher Power, knowing that we
are not alone in our efforts to heal ourselves from our addiction.
02 We are willing to be vulnerable because the capacity to trust has been
restored to us by our faith in a Higher Power.
03 We surrender, one day at a time, our whole life strategy of, and our
obsession with, the pursuit of romantic and sexual intrigue and emotional
dependency.
04 We learn to avoid situations that may put us at risk physically, morally,
psychologically or spiritually.
05 We learn to accept and love ourselves, to take responsibility for our own
lives, and to take care of our own needs before involving ourselves with others.
06 We become willing to ask for help, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and
learning to trust and accept others.
07 We allow ourselves to work through the pain of our low self-esteem and our
fears of abandonment and responsibility. We learn to feel comfortable in
solitude.
08 We begin to accept our imperfections and mistakes as part of being human,
healing our shame and perfectionism while working on our character defects.
09 We begin to substitute honesty for self-destructive ways of expressing
emotions and feelings.
10 We become honest in expressing who we are, developing true intimacy in our
relationships with ourselves and others.
11 We learn to value sex as a by-product of sharing, commitment, trust and
cooperation in a partnership.
12 We are restored to sanity, on a daily basis, by participating in the process
of recovery.

40 questions survey

Discover more about your own experience by completing the Sex and Love Addiction
40 questions survey
Members of SLAA and other 12 step programs use their own lingo – check it out
here.
What’s the deal with Sponsorship?

Google Drive folder

All of the files on this website, plus many more, are included in a Google Drive
folder that you can add to your own account.


WHERE TO NEXT?

 * Withdrawal
 * Learning the Lingo
 * 12 Characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction
 * Outreach Calls
 * Sexual Anorexia
 * Frequent Questions + Responses
   * Sponsorship Guide – and how to find one
 * Prayers for each step
 * Program Books
 * Recommended books
 * theJournal
 * Real Men of Sexual Integrity


RECOVERY RESOURCES

A link to our shared Google Drive folder | Member material

Home
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1 Introduction

2 Sponsorship

3 Meetings

4 Sober Dating

5 Other resources

6 Other Programs

7 Anorexia


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EXTERNAL LINKS

 * Why Porn Can Be Difficult to Quit
 * Studies of Over 11,000 Relationships Show 5 Things the Happiest Couples Have
   in Common
 * How Porn Can Become an Escalating Behaviour


MEETING LINKS

Meeting essentials (Serenity & Third Step Prayers)

Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Tradition of Anonymity:
Whom you see here; what you hear here;
when you leave here: let it stay here.

Third Step Prayer
To the GOD of my own understanding:

God, I offer myself to You,
to build with me
and to do with me
as You will.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Your will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them
may bear witness to those
I would help
of Your Power,
Your Love,
and Your Way of life.
May I do Your will always!

Thanks for sharing – keep coming back!
It works if you work it, and you’re worth it!

How SLAA works

We invite you to join us in working the steps, and we encourage you to be
rigorously honest from the outset. This is a simple program. Those of us who
have suffered from grave emotional and mental disorders have noticed that we can
recover if we are willing to be rigorously honest and work the steps.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened,
and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have — and are
willing to go to any lengths to get it — then we invite you to work the steps
with us. At some of these steps we balked. We thought we could find an easier,
softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we
encourage you to be fearless and thorough from the start. Some of us have tried
to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil, until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with sex and love addiction, which is cunning, baffling
and powerful. Without help, it is too much for us. But there is one who has all
power. That one is God. May you find God now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at a turning point and asked for
God’s protection and care with complete abandon.

Here are the steps we took which we suggest as a programme of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over sex and love addiction – that our lives
had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of
our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to
them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it. 
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a
Power greater than ourselves, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us
and the power to carry that out. 
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to
carry this message to sex and love addicts, and to practice these principles in
all areas of our lives.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it!” Do not be
discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect
adherence to these principles. We are not saints.
The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles
we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather
than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the sex and love addict, the chapter on the agnostic, and our
personal adventures before and after, make clear three pertinent ideas:
a. That we are sex and love addicts and cannot manage our own lives.
b. That probably no human power could relieve our sex and love addiction.
c. That God could and would if God were sought.

HOW Concept and Tools

The Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous HOW Concept has been formed to offer the sex
& love addict who accepts the twelve steps and twelve traditions as a program of
recovery a disciplined and structured approach. The SLAA HOW groups have been
formed in the belief that our disease is absolute and therefore only absolute
acceptance of the HOW programme will offer any sustained sobriety to those of us
whose compulsion has reached a critical level.
Therefore, the HOW defined bottom-line sobriety, the steps, traditions and tools
of recovery are not suggested. Rather, we accept them as requirements for our
recovery. We commit ourselves to a black & white sobriety so that we may deal
with the grey areas of living.
In HOW we have found that if we commit to using the tools of recovery daily our
disease of sex and love addiction can be arrested one day at a time. Here are
the tools as we work them according to the HOW concept:

1. Bottom-line sobriety
This is our willingness to stop acting out in our own bottom-line addictive
behaviour daily. There are no absolutes for sobriety in SLAA, as individual
patterns of sex and love addiction vary. In HOW each sex & love addict works
with a sponsor to identify their personal bottom lines. We become sober by daily
abstaining from these bottom-line behaviours. We also believe that negative
thinking is a large part of our disease, so we’re learning one day at a time to
abstain from negative thinking.                                            

2. Literature and Writing
We use SLAA literature as well as the AA Big Book and the 12 Steps and 12
Traditions as tools of examination and release. When we substitute the words
“sex and love addict” for “alcoholic” and “sex and love” for “alcohol” we feel
we identify absolutely. Our writing assignments in HOW are taken from these.

3. Meetings
Attend a minimum of three meetings per week, in-person or online. Meetings are
dedicated to the concept of remaining Honest, Open-minded and Willing to listen…
this is the HOW of the programme.

4. Telephone Calls
We make four calls a day – one to our sponsor and three outreach calls to other
SLAA members. The phone is like a lifeline: we need the contact. It can be like
a mini-meeting. Use the chat or join the Signal group to get numbers.

5. Prayer and Meditation
Our practice of daily prayer and meditation is to develop a relationship with a
power greater than ourselves which can guide and sustain us in recovery. We
ensure our continued and sustained abstinence from sex and love addiction by
being forever aware that God is doing for us what we have never been able to do
for ourselves.

6. Service
This is freedom from the bondage of self. Service is working the tools of the
program to the best of our ability, giving back what we’ve been given. It’s
helping out at meetings, welcoming newcomers and being available for calls and
sponsorship. Sobriety is a service to ourselves and the group.

7. Sponsorship
A SLAA HOW sponsor is a sex and love addict who, thank God, has 30 days of
continuous sobriety working the SLAA HOW concept and has taken the first three
steps. In keeping with our second tradition, our leaders are but trusted
servants – they do not govern.

Men’s Seventh Tradition account details

Tuesday Men’s (face-to-face) 7th tradition donations:
Account creation pending

Tuesday Men’s Zoom 7th tradition:
Account: 4 Recovery
BSB: 670-864
Account: 1078-4093

For Thursday night meeting please donate to:
Account name: Andre SLAA
BSB: 923-100
Acct: 6196-2150

Donate to the SLAA Australian Intergroup here.

Treasurer Reports – Tuesday Online meeting

Tuesday Men’s In Person meeting

Annex under St Canice’s Church,
28 Roslyn St, Rushcutters Bay NSW 2011
Walk down the stairs beside the church and proceed around to the rear of the
church.

Men’s Sydney Zoom meetings

The men’s meetings that are listed on this website are in AET (Australian
Eastern Time).

– Sunday 6:30-7:30am (Zoom only – click here)

– Tuesday 6.30-8pm (Room – See above)
– Tuesday 6.30-8pm (Zoom – click here)
– Thursday 7-8pm (Express Share Meeting)

Tuesday and Thursday have our own Zoom meeting address
Meeting ID 87912025966 with Password 123

Other Australian Men’s Meetings

Find up-to-date information about men’s meetings here. All meetings in AET.

 * Sunday 6:30-7:45pm Men’s Time to Recover ZOOM Meeting
 * Monday 6:30-7:45pm Northcote Men’s Time to Recover Meeting
 * Tuesday 6:00-7:00pm Footscray & ZOOM Men’s Topic Meeting
 * Wednesday 7-8:30pm Zoom Men’s Hour and Half of Power
 * Thursday 6:30-7:30pm Canberra Men’s SLAA HOW Meeting


CHAT WITH RECOVERY ASSISTANT

Use the Recovery chat bot (below and on the bottom right of every screen) to ask
the questions you’ve always wanted to know answers to about recovery.

There is no shame in beginning again,
for you get a chance to build bigger and better than before.
Recovery WisdomAnonymous
We need never be hopeless
because we can never be irreparably broken.
John GreenAuthor & Youtuber
Recovery is something that you have to work on every single day,
and it’s something that doesn’t get a day off.
Demi LovatoAmerican Singer
Courage isn’t having the strength to go on –
courage is going on when you don’t have the strength.
Napoleon BonaparteStatesman
My recovery must come first,
so that everything I love in life
does not have to come last.
AnonymousRecovery Wisdom
When sex becomes easy to view
LOVE becomes difficult to find.
Fight the New DrugPorn Kills Love
“I’m not interested in a world where men really want to watch porn but resist
because they’ve been shamed; I’m interested in a world where men are raised from
birth with such an unshakeable understanding of women as living human beings
that they are incapable of being aroused by their exploitation.”
Jonah MixFight the New Drug
I know you’re tired; I know you feel like giving up, but you’re not going to.
You know why?
Because you are strong, and when you’re survived through all the shit your
addiction has but you through, you can survive recovery.
Recovery WisdomAnonymous
There is no shame in beginning again,
for you get a chance to build bigger and better than before.
Recovery WisdomAnonymous
We need never be hopeless
because we can never be irreparably broken.
John GreenAuthor & Youtuber
Recovery is something that you have to work on every single day,
and it’s something that doesn’t get a day off.
Demi LovatoAmerican Singer
Courage isn’t having the strength to go on –
courage is going on when you don’t have the strength.
Napoleon BonaparteStatesman
My recovery must come first,
so that everything I love in life
does not have to come last.
AnonymousRecovery Wisdom
When sex becomes easy to view
LOVE becomes difficult to find.
Fight the New DrugPorn Kills Love
“I’m not interested in a world where men really want to watch porn but resist
because they’ve been shamed; I’m interested in a world where men are raised from
birth with such an unshakeable understanding of women as living human beings
that they are incapable of being aroused by their exploitation.”
Jonah MixFight the New Drug
I know you’re tired; I know you feel like giving up, but you’re not going to.
You know why?
Because you are strong, and when you’re survived through all the shit your
addiction has but you through, you can survive recovery.
Recovery WisdomAnonymous
There is no shame in beginning again,
for you get a chance to build bigger and better than before.
Recovery WisdomAnonymous
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 * SponsorshipMenu Toggle
   * Sponsorship guide
   * Guide to Steps 1-3
   * Guide to Steps 4-5
   * Guide to Steps 6-9
   * Guide to Steps 10-12
   * Maintaining Recovery
 * ResourcesMenu Toggle
   * Program Books
   * Recommended books
   * SLAA Store
   * Sexual Anorexia
   * Member
 * ProgramMenu Toggle
   * HOW Concept and Tools
   * The Prayers of SLAA
   * Outreach Calls
   * InspirationMenu Toggle
     * Prayers
     * Meditations
     * Recovery
     * Spirituality
 * MeetingsMenu Toggle
   * Meeting essentials
   * Recovery Chat




SPONSORSHIP

 * How to begin
 * Program
 * Spirituality
 * HOW Program
 * Resources


DOCUMENTS

 * Start here
 * Beginners Guide
 * Program Books to Read
 * Recommended Books
 * Prayers of SLAA

Please donate to your local meeting to keep the work of recovery
alive. hello@augustinerecovery.org

Shop SLAA Literature | SLAA Australia
Use the Recovery Assistant chat (bottom right of every page) to ask any
anonymous questions about recovery.
Copy and paste to save the chat.
Click the recycle icon to clear your chat.



This website offers resources for recovery from sexual and emotional addiction.
It is not an official website of any fellowship.

We recognise all addicts who still suffer and all who join in this recovery
journey.

We acknowledge the traditional owners and custodians of our country.
We respect and honour all elders past and present.

© 2019-2024 Augustine Recovery & Fellowship Resources

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