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‘You need to age naturally in a way that makes it looks like you haven’t aged at
all.’ Photograph: Amy Sussman/Getty Images
‘You need to age naturally in a way that makes it looks like you haven’t aged at
all.’ Photograph: Amy Sussman/Getty Images
The Week in PatriarchyWomen



OH NO, IT HAPPENED AGAIN: A FAMOUS WOMAN DIDN’T FOLLOW THE RULES OF AGEING

Arwa Mahdawi



Meg Ryan was declared ‘unrecognizable’ in headlines after attending a screening
– even though the tabloids clearly recognized her

Sat 6 May 2023 09.00 EDTLast modified on Sun 7 May 2023 10.38 EDT
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MEG RYAN LEAVES HOUSE, FACES INSTANT MISOGYNY

Oh no, it’s happened again. Every now and again a famous woman over the age of
45 has the temerity to go out in public without following The Rules of Ageing
While Female and all hell breaks loose. This time the offender is Meg Ryan. The
61-year-old actor attended a documentary screening in New York this week,
sparking immediately scrutiny from all the usual tabloids about her appearance
and how much plastic surgery she might have had. Both the Daily Mail and Page
Six declared Ryan “unrecognizable” in their headlines. Which is weird, because
they clearly recognized her.



Anyway, since so many people seem to be unaware of how to age in a
tabloid-friendly manner, a quick recap of The Rules. First and foremost, ladies,
remember that you need to age gracefully and naturally. But not too naturally.
Not so naturally that you get wrinkles and grey hair and actually look your age.
Yuck! Not like that. No, you need to age naturally in a way that makes it looks
like you haven’t aged at all. You need to age in a way which makes it seem like
you’re still youthful enough for Leonardo DiCaprio to consider dating. Which,
unless you have a portrait in an attic somewhere or are half-vampire, probably
means getting plastic surgery.



Which takes us to rule number two: if you get surgery, you need your surgery to
look completely effortless. You don’t want your face to scream: “I’ve just spent
the GDP of a small country on my fillers!” You don’t want anyone to suspect
you’ve had work done because, come on, that’s just tragic. Remember, women are
supposed to age gracefully and naturally and surgery is neither of those things.

Finally, rule number three. If you are incapable of ageing in a way that would
please a committee consisting of the Daily Mail, the New York Post, Piers Morgan
and Don Lemon then DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE. Ageing inappropriately in a public
space is just very bad form if you’re a woman. (If you’re a man, of course,
things are different: you’re a silver fox who only gets better with every
passing year!)

Got all that? Good. The Rules are really very simple. I’m not sure why so many
women have a hard time with them. Ryan, after all, is not the first woman whose
face has caused a tabloid frenzy this year. A few weeks ago, Page Six ran a
headline stating: “Bridget Fonda unrecognizable during rare outing 20 years
after quitting acting.” The Daily Mail ran an almost identical headline. There
is nothing tabloids seem to enjoy more than recognizing famous women and
promptly proclaiming her unrecognizable.



And then of course there’s all the furor over Madonna’s face. Earlier this year,
Madonna’s appearance at the Grammys caused intense speculation about how much
cosmetic surgery she’d had done. Piers Morgan, never one to miss a chance to
indulge in some casual misogyny, shared a closeup photo of the 64-year-old pop
legend with the caption: “I thought Halloween was in October.” Madonna responded
to the chatter about her looks with a scathing statement on Instagram about
being caught, once again, “in the glare of ageism and misogyny that permeates
the world we live in … A world that refuses to celebrate women past the age of
45.”

There is, as should be very clear by now, simply no way to win as a woman. So
don’t even bother trying to age gracefully. “It’s much better to age
disgracefully!” Helen Mirren told Vogue a few years ago. “Take it on the chin,
and roll with it. You die young, or you get older. There is nothing in between!
You may as well enjoy it.” And if you don’t enjoy it, then whatever you do,
don’t frown: that leaves terrible marks.


WOMEN-ONLY HOUSING FOR BRITAIN’S NEW CLASS OF HANDMAIDS

There is, according to Women’s Pioneer Housing, “no region in England where a
single woman on an average woman’s salary can afford to rent a private-sector
home of her own”. Don’t miss this fascinating column from Zoe Williams on a new
housing experiment in London that tackles this issue with a questionable
solution: a tower block that only gives tenancies to single women, prioritizing
victims of domestic abuse and black and minority ethnic women.


NINETY YEARS SINCE THE FIRST TAMPAX, WHY AREN’T THERE BETTER MENSTRUAL PRODUCTS?

The first modern tampon designed by Tampax was patented in 1931 – since then
menstruation innovation has moved at a glacial pace.


TWO WOMEN RESCUED NINE YEARS AFTER CHIBOK SCHOOLGIRLS ABDUCTION

Hauwa Maltha and Esther Marcus, both 26, were among 276 schoolgirls abducted by
Boko Haram in 2014. Nearly 100 of these girls are still missing.

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IS SEX IN SPACE BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY BY THE EMERGING SPACE TOURISM SECTOR?



A paper by researchers at Cranfield University concludes that it isn’t but it
ought to be. “It is unrealistic to assume all future space tourists will abstain
from sexual activities – opening the possibility of human conception and the
early stages of human reproduction occurring in space,” the researchers state.


THE WEIGHT BIAS AGAINST WOMEN IN THE WORKFORCE

Numerous studies show that women are economically penalized for their weight. An
increase of 10% in a woman’s body mass decreased her income by 6%, according to
one analysis. “These penalties have not only increased over the past few
decades, but continue to increase as women age,” NPR reports. Meanwhile some
studies suggest that white males seen as overweight actually earn more.
Currently there isn’t any legislation in the US that protects weight-based
discrimination but some lawmakers are trying to change that.


THE WEEK IN PHALLICARCHY

A 30ft penis was mowed into the lawn at Bath’s posh Royal Crescent, just days
before a coronation party was due to be held on it. No doubt this will rub
royalists the wrong way but I’m sure most revelers raising a glass to King
Charles will manage to keep a stiff upper lip.

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you move on, I was hoping you would
consider taking the step of supporting the Guardian’s journalism. 

From Elon Musk to Rupert Murdoch, a small number of billionaire owners have a
powerful hold on so much of the information that reaches the public about what’s
happening in the world. The Guardian is different. We have no billionaire owner
or shareholders to consider. Our journalism is produced to serve the public
interest – not profit motives.

And we avoid the trap that befalls much US media – the tendency, born of a
desire to please all sides, to engage in false equivalence in the name of
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we report on issues like the climate crisis, we’re not afraid to name who is
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outsider perspective on US politics – one so often missing from the insular
American media bubble. 

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Our readers keep us independent, beholden to no outside influence and accessible
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If you can, please consider supporting the Guardian today. Thank you.

Betsy Reed

Editor, Guardian US





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