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ALL THE FMLS


HELPER BLUES

By Fat and Embarrassed - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff -
United States - Palmdale

Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her
groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the
groceries." FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 801
You deserved it 1 366
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BLACK BALLED

By Don't complain about good fortune - 20/02/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year
was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than
let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm
jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 115
You deserved it 48
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BEEN THERE, CAN'T DO THAT

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 01:00 - United Arab Emirates - Sharjah

Today, I feel like I made the worst choice of my life and I have to pay the
consequences, and I seriously feel like shit. I need help. Moving abroad to
study at 30 was the worst mistake and I hate my life here. I want to go back but
I lost everything back home and I don't have anything here. I'm stuck; I just
want to be happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 136
You deserved it 63
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SKITTISH

By bronzemedal97 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United
States

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack
food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I
was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the
counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 782
You deserved it 3 258
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MORTIFYING

By Creeper - 20/02/2024 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I accidentally liked my ex's new partner's photo while stalking them on
social media. Now I have to decide between pretending it never happened if they
happened to notice, or sending a fruit basket with a note that says, "Sorry for
the accidental like. It's not you; it's muscle memory." FML
I agree, your life sucks 31
You deserved it 305
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OPEN QUESTION

By Anonymous - 20/02/2024 06:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I've been wondering if it's a red flag for an almost 40 year-old dude to
have never been in a serious relationship. Is it? FML
I agree, your life sucks 188
You deserved it 119
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BRAIN WORMS

By Anonymous - 20/02/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I realized I've been saying "Excuse me" to automatic sliding doors for
the past week. They haven't responded yet, but I'll keep you posted on their
social skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks 172
You deserved it 84
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SUPPORT SYSTEM

By Anonymous - 20/02/2024 03:00 - United States - South Park Township

Today, I found out that I have a heart disease. When I went to tell my family,
they all said that it should kill me faster so that I can donate my organs to my
cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks 398
You deserved it 49
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NEVER CROSS THE STREAMS

By FiredAF - 20/02/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was emailing my department about a huge meeting we’re going to have. I
was also emailing back and forth with another colleague about office gossip. I
absentmindedly replied to the wrong email. I hit reply all to the meeting
e-mail, saying that the new supervisor of X department was "so fucking
retarded." FML
I agree, your life sucks 47
You deserved it 765
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FREAKOUT!

By beer guy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was
mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a
brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 360
You deserved it 2 534
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BELIEF IT OR NOT

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 23:00

Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was
serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and
childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high
school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML
I agree, your life sucks 235
You deserved it 833
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BUMBLING

By Jane - 19/02/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during an interview, in my nervousness I accidentally handed the
interviewer an A4 paper with my doodles and a grocery list instead of my resume.
I guess they now know I need to buy more milk and have a questionable talent for
drawing stick figures. FML
I agree, your life sucks 231
You deserved it 171
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RUNNING LATE

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy
I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to
meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got
angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 974
You deserved it 3 851
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MOM OF THE YEAR

By Bianca - 19/02/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my car’s at the mechanic's so I called my mom and asked her to come pick
me up from class, since it ends at 9pm and I was scared to walk home at night.
She told me, “Oh honey, you have nothing to worry about, you’re too fat to get
raped, plus you need the exercise.” FML
I agree, your life sucks 524
You deserved it 131
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IT'S ALL SUBJECTIVE

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a beginners’ painting class. She and everyone
else was able to produce a painting significantly better than mine, and I got
laughed at for my lack of skill. I’ve been painting for twenty-five years. FML
I agree, your life sucks 362
You deserved it 157
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SENSITIVE

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 08:00

Today, even though I told my son I had vegan burgers for him, he brought enough
vegan food for everyone at a barbecue, and tried to get everyone to try it. Not
one person ate a damn bit of it, and he’s now crying, all while blocking our
drive with his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks 486
You deserved it 169
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STACKS

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 05:00

Today, and since New Year's Day, my husband has instituted a lateness jar. I
have to put £1 in every time my “pissing about getting ready makes us more than
10 minutes late.” I really tried to embarrass him with how empty it would be,
but he counted it today. It’s only mid February and it’s already over £100. FML
I agree, your life sucks 78
You deserved it 861
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THE GOOD OLD DAYS

By FBfail - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on Facebook called
"Guys who are proud of their girlfriends". I smiled and was about to like it
when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying, "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx."
FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 119
You deserved it 3 073
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THE BLAME GAME

By Anonymous - 18/02/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I got bad food poisoning. Again. The first time I thought it was the
stomach bug that’s going around, so once I felt better, I proceeded to eat
leftover food that actually got me sick the first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 128
You deserved it 551
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ARTWORK

By willbo - 18/02/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my roommate sent me a picture of his shit. I don’t know what’s worse, the
caption saying “3 lbs” or the fact that it was all one gigantic piece. FML
I agree, your life sucks 361
You deserved it 67
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DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY BIRTHDAY

By Levi Smith - 18/02/2024 13:00 - United States - Assaria

Today, happy birthday to me. Any calls from my friends? Nope. Socials? Not even
one. My wife and daughter spent any time with me? Couldn’t even be bothered to
put their phones down during dinner. Not a single person on God’s green earth
gives a shit about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 503
You deserved it 119
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YOU OK UP THERE?

By hurtsmyears - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United
States

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above
me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He
lives alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 661
You deserved it 2 431
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GET ME OUT OF HERE

By Shawn - 18/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Bellingham

Today, I have polymyositis. A muscle disease. Pretty advanced. I'm only able to
work a few hours a week. In 2018 my roommate assaulted me in a drunken blackout.
My boss moved me into her windowless garage. She and her husband run a catering
business. They steal card tips, and cheat on their taxes. I have nowhere else to
go. FML
I agree, your life sucks 469
You deserved it 68
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PRACTICE RUN

By Oops - 18/02/2024 05:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I went to console my cousin because I'd heard that her dog had passed
away. As I opened the door, the first thing I saw was her extremely old and
feeble (but still very much alive) dog. Turns out my friend was talking about
HIS cousin, and I simply misheard. Trying to explain that to her was mighty
awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks 293
You deserved it 136
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MISOPHONIA

By Anonymous - 18/02/2024 02:00 - United States - Montgomery

Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started
playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is
that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the
loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
I agree, your life sucks 416
You deserved it 93
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HOW COULD YOU?

By Anonymous - 18/02/2024 05:00

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her
ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or
babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying
with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 016
You deserved it 126
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A TAD INSECURE

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States
- Anchorage

Today, I confronted my girlfriend over how she and a male friend have been going
out together, drinking and partying, and at one point holding hands in the
street. She angrily accused ME of cheating, because "confronting people like
that" is apparently something only cheaters themselves do. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 784
You deserved it 5 120
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ATTITUDE

By Anonymous - 17/02/2024 15:00 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I've decided that I am destined to be unhappy. I seem to get too invested
in the ones who don't care. Including my current marriage, which is inevitably
doomed no matter how much effort I put into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 330
You deserved it 156
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RURAL CHARM

By jlc82 - 17/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, the most exciting thing going on in my hometown is a that cow escaped its
slaughterhouse transport, only to be put down by our highway patrol. He's got
his own Facebook page and everything. Welcome to Ohio. FML
I agree, your life sucks 340
You deserved it 109
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FIGURE IT OUT

By brosef - 17/02/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, I'm a guy who's always been physically a late bloomer. In high school, I
looked too young for girls to like me. At 22, I still looked 17. Now at 25, I
look good but when girls find out my age, they expect me to have everything
figured out by now. I never got to be young. FML
I agree, your life sucks 311
You deserved it 186
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Keywords

Healthy Lifestyle Food Social Media Money Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing
Music Animals Dogs Cute Work Teenagers Kids Weird Job interview Farts My ex Love
Stalker Mental health Health Relatable Relationship advice Intimacy Sex Students
Art Cheating Poopoo peepee
The Top
Today, my mother mentioned she thought I was Unit 11, and not the correct Unit
1, in my building. I then remembered my last anonymous Valentine’s Day card was
addressed to me, but at Unit 11. So my “Secret Admirer” of many years is
actually my mother taking pity on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 526
You deserved it 98
Today, my boyfriend spent half his paycheck on gourmet steaks, bacon, and all
sorts of other meat. When I reminded him we were trying to go meatless to help
the planet, he said, "Yeah, I'm done with that. The planet can burn." We'd only
been vegan three days. FML
I agree, your life sucks 351
You deserved it 1 987
See the Top FMLs
The Top
Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still
people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the
counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She
was a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 866
You deserved it 14 309
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had
previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it?
He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 235
You deserved it 3 104
Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke
since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for.
Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet
his dad. My husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks 72 310
You deserved it 5 798
Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd
noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet,
so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to
help us pass. I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 735
You deserved it 15 743
Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the
call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked
in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 040
You deserved it 5 009
Today, my girlfriend's 8-year-old daughter decided that I'm going to marry her
mom and send her to an orphanage. I blurted out, "Marriage?! No one's talking
about marriage!" Now my girlfriend is mad at me, and her daughter is still
scared of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 850
You deserved it 835




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