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BITCOIN IS INSANE

December 4th, 2017 No Comments »




Business, Misc, Technology


MY JOURNEY TO A BLISSFUL JOB

September 28th, 2016 No Comments »


1) My first job was in an orange factory, but I couldn’t concentrate.

2) Then i worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so
they gave me the axe.

3) After that I tried working in a doughnut shop, but I soon got tired of the
hole business.

4) I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered.

5) I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it.

6) I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.

7) Next I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

8) I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldnt cut it.

9) I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job.

10) I became a velcro salesman, but I couldn’t stick with it.

11) I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn’t my racket.

12) I became a baker, but it wasnt a cakewalk, and I couldn’t make enough dough.

13) I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the
work was just too draining.

14) redacted

15) I thought about being a historian, but I couldn’t see a future in it.

16) Next I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so
they discharged me.

17) I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my
class.

18) I turned to farming, but I wasn’t outstanding in my field.

19) I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs, and I
got the shaft.

20) I sold origami, but the business folded.

21) I took a job at UPS, but I couldn’t express myself.

22) Then I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.

23) I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew
from the job.

24) I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t live on my net income.

25) I next worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn’t fit in. They thought I
was a loafer, and I got the boot.

26) Then I worked at starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same
old grind.

27) so I’ve retired, and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!

credit: Akiva Fox

Family, Forwarded, Friends, funny Cute,Forwarded,Friends,funny


AN OLD JEWISH MAN (YES I’M JEWISH)

August 12th, 2016 No Comments »


An Old Jewish Man Dies His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son
goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They
tell him $5 per word.

He says then print “Solomon dead”. The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5
words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it “Solomon dead, wheelchair
for sale”.

Forwarded, funny, Misc Cute,Forwarded,funny


KEEPING POLITICS REAL

July 11th, 2016 No Comments »


I told my son, “You will marry the girl I choose.”
He said, “NO!”
I told him, “She is Bill Gates’ daughter.”
He said, “OK.”
I called Bill Gates and said, “I want your daughter to marry my son.”
Bill Gates said, “NO.”
I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.”
Bill Gates said, “OK.”
I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, “NO.”
I told him, “My son is Bill Gates’ son-in-law.”
He said, “OK.”
This is exactly how politics works . . .

Forwarded, funny Forwarded,funny,internet,Misc,money


AN UPLIFTING STORY

July 1st, 2016 No Comments »


An uplifting story

There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very
depressed because he loved to play Golf .
One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and
went to the top of a building to jump off.
He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along,
whooping and kicking up his heels.
He looked closer and saw that this man didn’t have any arms at all.
He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still
have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down
the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life.
He hurried down and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he
was to see him because he lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to
kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and said he knew he could
make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again.
He asked, ‘Why are you so happy anyway?’
He said, ‘I’m NOT happy.
My balls itch.
Stories like this just makes one want to cry, how heart-warming.

Forwarded, funny, Misc blessings,Cute,Forwarded,funny


4 JEWISH BROTHERS

June 19th, 2016 No Comments »


Four Jewish brothers left home for college and eventually, they became
successful doctors,and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together.
They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother,
who lived far away in another city.

The first said, “I had a big house built for Mama.”

The second said, “I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house.”

The third said, “I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her a SL 600 with a
chauffeur.”

The fourth said, “Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Torah and
you know she can’t anymore because she can’t see very well. I met this Rabbi who
told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Torah. It took twenty rabbis
12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty
years to the temple, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and
verse and the parrot will recite it.” The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mama sent out her Thank You notes.

Milton – Bubbeleh, the house you built is so huge, I live in only one room, but
I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.

Marvin – Mine Shayne Kindeleh. I am too old to travel. I stay home. I have my
groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes and the driver you hired is a
Nazi. The thought was good. Thanks.

Menachim – Tataleh, you give me an expensive theatre with Dolby sound, it could
hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead. I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly
blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same.

Dearest Melvin – You were the only son to have the good sense to give a little
thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious.

funny Cute,Forwarded,funny


GREAT LESSON

May 25th, 2016 No Comments »


Those of us old enough to remember when the phone was wired to the wall, usually
in the kitchen, can relate to this story. I loved this read.

The Black Telephone

When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones in our
neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny
receiver hung on the side of the box….. I was too little to reach the telephone,
but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing
person. Her name was “Information Please” and there was nothing she did not
know. “Information Please” could supply anyone’s number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother
was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I
whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no
point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy. I walked around
the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway.

The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to
the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to
my ear. “Information, please,” I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.

A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.

“Information.”

“I hurt my finger…” I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now
that I had an audience..

“Isn’t your mother home?” came the question.

“Nobody’s home but me,” I blubbered.

“Are you bleeding?” the voice asked

“No, “I replied. “I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts.”

“Can you open the icebox?” she asked.

I said I could.

“Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger,” said the voice..

After that, I called “Information Please” for everything. I asked her for help
with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was.

She helped me with my math.

She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before,
would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, “Information
Please,” and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things
grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, “Why is it
that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end
up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?”

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, “Wayne, always
remember that there are other worlds to sing in.”

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, “Information Please.”

“Information,” said in the now familiar voice.

“How do I spell fix?” I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest.

When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my
friend very much.

“Information Please” belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow
never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall.
As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never
really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of
security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she
was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I
had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the
phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was
doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, “Information Please.”

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.

“Information.”

I hadn’t planned this, but I heard myself saying, “Could you please tell me how
to spell fix?”

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, “I guess your finger
must have healed by now.”

I laughed, “So it’s really you,” I said. “I wonder if you have any idea how much
you meant to me during that time?”

“I wonder,” she said, “if you know how much your calls meant to me. I never had
any children and I used to look forward to your calls.”

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could
call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

“Please do,” she said. “Just ask for Sally.”

Three months later I was back in Seattle.

A different voice answered, “Information.”

I asked for Sally.

“Are you a friend?” she said.

“Yes, a very old friend,” I answered.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this,” She said. “Sally had been working part
time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago.”

Before I could hang up, she said, “Wait a minute, did you say your name was
Wayne?” ”

“Yes.” I answered.

“Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let
me read it to you.” The note said, “Tell him there are other worlds to sing in.
He’ll know what I mean.”

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others!

Family, Forwarded blessings,buzz,Forwarded,Friends,interesting


WATER

May 18th, 2016 No Comments »


How many folks do you know who say they don’t want to drink anything before
going to bed because they’ll have to get up during the night!!

Something else I didn’t know … I asked my Doctor why do people need to urinate
so much at nighttime.

Answers from my Cardiac Doctor:

Gravity holds water in the lower part of your body when you are upright (legs
swell).

When you lie down and the lower body (legs, etc.) is level with the kidneys, it
is then that the kidneys remove the water because it is easier.

This then ties in with the last statement!

I knew you need your minimum water to help flush the toxins out of your body,
but this was news to me. Correct time to drink water… Very Important.

From A Cardiac Specialist!

Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body:
2 glasses of water after waking up – helps activate internal organs
1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal – helps digestion
1 glass of water before taking a bath – helps lower blood pressure (who knew???)
1 glass of water before going to bed – avoids stroke or heart attack (good to
know!)

I can also add to this… My Physician told me that water at bed time will also
help prevent night time leg cramps. Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when
they cramp and wake you up with a Charlie Horse. (this I know forsure!)

Forwarded Forwarded,health


THINGS MY MOM TAUGHT ME.

January 6th, 2015 No Comments »


1. YOUR SHOES ARE THE FIRST THING PEOPLE SUBCONSCIOUSLY NOTICE ABOUT YOU. WEAR
NICE SHOES.

2. IF YOU SIT FOR MORE THAN 11 HOURS A DAY, THERE’S A 50% CHANCE YOU’LL DIE
WITHIN THE NEXT 3 YEARS

3. THERE ARE AT LEAST 6 PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO LOOK EXACTLY LIKE YOU. THERE’S A
9% CHANCE THAT YOU’LL MEET ONE OF THEM IN YOUR LIFETIME.

4. SLEEPING WITHOUT A PILLOW REDUCES BACK PAIN AND KEEPS YOUR SPINE STRONGER.

5. A PERSON’S HEIGHT IS DETERMINED BY THEIR FATHER, AND THEIR WEIGHT IS
DETERMINED BY THEIR MOTHER.

6. IF A PART OF YOUR BODY “FALLS ASLEEP”,YOU CAN ALMOST ALWAYS “WAKE IT UP” BY
SHAKING YOUR HEAD.

7. THERE ARE THREE THINGS THE HUMAN BRAIN CANNOT RESIST NOTICING -FOOD,
ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE AND DANGER

8. RIGHT-HANDED PEOPLE TEND TO CHEW FOOD ON THEIR RIGHT SIDE

9. PUTTING DRY TEA BAGS IN GYM BAGS OR SMELLY SHOES WILL ABSORB THE UNPLEASANT
ODOR.

10. ACCORDING TO ALBERT EINSTEIN, IF HONEY BEES WERE TO DISAPPEAR FROM EARTH,
HUMANS WOULD BE DEAD WITHIN 4 YEARS.

11. THERE ARE SO MANY KINDS OF APPLES, THAT IF YOU ATE A NEW ONE EVERYDAY, IT
WOULD TAKE OVER 20 YEARS TO TRY THEM ALL.

12. YOU CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT EATING FOR WEEKS, BUT YOU WILL ONLY LIVE 11 DAYS
WITHOUT SLEEPING.

13. PEOPLE WHO LAUGH A LOT ARE HEALTHIER THAN THOSE WHO DON’T.

14. LAZINESS AND INACTIVITY KILLS JUST AS MANY PEOPLE AS SMOKING.

15. A HUMAN BRAIN HAS A CAPACITY TO STORE 5 TIMES AS MUCH INFORMATION AS
WIKIPEDIA

16. OUR BRAIN USES THE SAME AMOUNT OF POWER AS A 10-WATT LIGHT BULB!!

17. OUR BODY GIVES ENOUGH HEAT IN 30 MINS TO BOIL 1.5 LITERS OF WATER!!

18. THE OVUM EGG IS THE LARGEST CELL AND THE SPERM IS THE SMALLEST CELL!!

19. STOMACH ACID (CONC. HCL) IS STRONG ENOUGH TO DISSOLVE RAZOR BLADES!!

20. TAKE A 10-30 MINUTE WALK EVERY DAY & WHILE YOU WALK, SMILE. IT IS THE
ULTIMATE ANTIDEPRESSANT.

21. SIT IN SILENCE FOR AT LEAST 10 MINUTES EACH DAY.

22. WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, PRAY TO ASK GOD’S GUIDANCE FOR YOUR PURPOSE
TODAY.

23. EAT MORE FOODS THAT GROW ON TREES AND PLANTS AND EAT LESS FOOD THAT IS
MANUFACTURED IN PLANTS.

24. DRINK GREEN TEA AND PLENTY OF WATER. EAT BLUEBERRIES, BROCCOLI, AND ALMONDS.

25. TRY TO MAKE AT LEAST THREE PEOPLE SMILE EACH DAY.

26. DON’T WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS ENERGY ON GOSSIP, ENERGY VAMPIRES, ISSUES OF THE
PAST, NEGATIVE THOUGHTS OR THINGS YOU CANNOT CONTROL. INSTEAD INVEST YOUR ENERGY
IN THE POSITIVE PRESENT MOMENT.

27. EAT BREAKFAST LIKE A KING, LUNCH LIKE A PRINCE AND DINNER LIKE A COLLEGE KID
WITH A MAXED OUT CHARGE CARD.

28. LIFE ISN’T FAIR, BUT IT’S STILL GOOD.

29. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE TIME HATING ANYONE. FORGIVE THEM FOR EVERYTHING!

30. DON’T TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY. NO ONE ELSE DOES.

31. YOU DON’T HAVE TO WIN EVERY ARGUMENT. AGREE TO DISAGREE.

32. MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR PAST SO IT WON’T SPOIL THE PRESENT.

33. DON’T COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO OTHERS. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEIR JOURNEY IS
ALL ABOUT.

34. NO ONE IS IN CHARGE OF YOUR HAPPINESS EXCEPT YOU.

35. FRAME EVERY SO-CALLED DISASTER WITH THESE WORDS: ‘IN FIVE YEARS, WILL THIS
MATTER?’

36. HELP THE NEEDY! BE GENEROUS! BE A ‘GIVER’ NOT A ‘TAKER’

37. WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

38. TIME HEALS EVERYTHING.

39. HOWEVER GOOD OR BAD A SITUATION IS, IT WILL CHANGE.

40. YOUR JOB WON’T TAKE CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU ARE SICK. YOUR FRIENDS WILL. STAY
IN TOUCH.

41. ENVY IS A WASTE OF TIME. YOU ALREADY HAVE ALL YOU NEED.

42. EACH NIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED, PRAY TO GOD AND BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU’VE
ACCOMPLISHED TODAY !

43. REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED.

Forwarded


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Family


A JEWISH KOP

February 11th, 2013 No Comments »


A Jewish Kop
A Jewish man walked into a bank in New York City one day and asked for the loan
officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Israel on business for
two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The bank officer told him that the bank
would need some form of security for the loan. The Jewish man handed over the
keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produced the
title and everything checked out.
The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s
president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Jewish man for using
a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000  loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s underground
garage and parked it there. Two weeks later, the Jewish man returned, repaid the
$5,000 and the interest, which came to $15.41.
The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and
this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While
you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The Jewish man
replied: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only
$15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
Ah, A Jewish Kop.

Family


THE ZEN OF SARCASM

July 24th, 2012 No Comments »


1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may
not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s
newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

6.. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That
way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he
will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a
wise investment.

12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

13. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back
in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it
holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22 . Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the
same night.

Forwarded, funny Cute,Forwarded,funny


WHERE ARE JIM, TIM AND FRANKLIN

July 11th, 2012 No Comments »


Where are Jim, Tim, and Franklin now?

Just in case you might have wondered how their ineptitude affected their lives
after they ruined so many dreams and lives….let me refresh your memory:
Where are Jim, Tim and Franklin now? Here’s a quick look into the three former
Fannie Mae executives who brought down Wall Street.

Franklin Raines – was a Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Fannie Mae.
Raines was forced to retire from his position with Fannie Mae when auditing
discovered severe irregularities in Fannie Mae’s accounting activities. Raines
left with a “golden parachute valued at $240 Million in benefits. The Government
filed suit against Raines when the depth of the accounting scandal became clear.

Tim Howard – was the Chief Financial Officer of Fannie Mae. Howard “was a strong
internal proponent of using accounting strategies that would ensure a “stable
pattern of earnings” at Fannie. Investigations by federal regulators and the
company’s board of directors since concluded that management did manipulate 1998
earnings to trigger bonuses. Raines and Howard resigned under pressure in late
2004. Howard’s Golden Parachute was estimated at $20 Million!

Jim Johnson – A former executive at Lehman Brothers and who was later forced
from his position as Fannie Mae CEO. Investigators found that Fannie Mae had
hidden a substantial amount of Johnson’s 1998 compensation from the public,
reporting that it was between $6 million and $7 million when it fact it was $21
million.” Johnson is currently under investigation for taking illegal loans from
Countrywide while serving as CEO of Fannie Mae. Johnson’s Golden Parachute was
estimated at $28 Million.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

FRANKLIN RAINES?
Raines works for the Obama Campaign as his Chief Economic Advisor.

TIM HOWARD?
Howard is a Chief Economic Advisor to Obama under Franklin Raines.

JIM JOHNSON?
Johnson was hired as a Senior Obama Finance Advisor and was selected to run
Obama’s Vice Presidential Search Committee.


WOW

Business, Forwarded Business,debt,Forwarded,poor friends,Poverty,saddest thing


NOT A BIG DONALD TRUMP FAN….

June 22nd, 2012 No Comments »


Not a big Donald Trump Fan…. NUY
No one can sum it up better than Trump
Let me get this straight . . .
We’re going to be “gifted” with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and
fined if we don’t,
Which purportedly covers at least ten million more people,
without adding a single new doctor,
but provides for 16,000 new IRS agents,
written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn’t understand it,
passed by a Congress that didn’t read it but exempted themselves from it,
and signed by a Dumbo President who smokes,
with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn’t pay his taxes, for
which we’ll be taxed for four years before any benefits take effect,
by a government which has already bankrupted Social Security and Medicare,
all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese,
and financed by a country that’s broke!!!!!
‘What the hell could possibly go wrong?’

Business, Forwarded, Public Announcement


9 ANNOYING THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE

December 14th, 2011 No Comments »


1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my
watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my pants when I ask where
the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for
the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel
manually.

3. When people say, “Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Dang
right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

4. When people say, “It’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why
the heck would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who
and where are they?!

5. When people say while watching a film “did you see that?”. No Loser, I paid
$12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor..

6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”…. Didn’t really give me a choice
there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there
has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have
been something before it, and can’t be new.

8.When people say “life is short”. What the heck?? Life is the longest darn
thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If
the bus came would I be standing here?

Compliments of Alana Bess

funny, Kids, Misc


THE SPECIAL SEED

December 9th, 2011 No Comments »


A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a
successor to take over the business.

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do
something different.. He called all the young executives in his company
together.

He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided
to choose one of you. “The young executives were Shocked, but the boss
continued. “I am going to give each one of you a SEED today – one very special
SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from
today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge
the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.”

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed.
He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot,
soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch
to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives
began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five
weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants,
but Jim didn’t have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by — still nothing in Jim’s pot. He just knew he had killed his
seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn’t
say anything to his colleagues, however… He just kept watering and fertilizing
the soil – He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their
plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn’t going to take
an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick
to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but
he knew his wife was right.

He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the
variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful — in all
shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues
laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. “My, what great plants, trees, and flowers
you have grown,” said the CEO. “Today one of you will be appointed the next
CEO!”

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot.
He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified.
He thought, “The CEO knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!”

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed – Jim
told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then
announced to the young executives, “Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!
His name is Jim!” Jim couldn’t believe it. Jim couldn’t even grow his seed.

“How could he be the new CEO?” the others said.

Then the CEO said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I
told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today.
But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead – it was not possible for them
to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you
found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I
gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot
with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive
Officer!”

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective
* If you plant hard work, you will reap success
* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

So, be careful what you plant now;
it will determine what you will reap later..

“Whatever You Give To Life, Life Gives You Back”

Business, Forwarded, Public Announcement
blessings,Business,Family,Forwarded,interesting


US NAVY VS. CANADA

October 31st, 2011 No Comments »


This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a U.S. naval ship
with the Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland October 1995. Radio
conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Canadians:
Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans:
Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North.

Canadians:
Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a
collision.

Americans:
This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians:
No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans:
THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED
STATES ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS
AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES
NORTH, I SAY AGAIN,THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE
UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians:
We are a lighthouse, your call.

Forwarded, funny, Misc Cute,Forwarded,funny,Misc


ECONOMY – HOW BAD IS IT?

October 10th, 2011 No Comments »

 * The recession has hit everybody really hard…
 * My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
 * Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
 * CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
 * Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
 * A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies
   while she danced.
 * I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
 * If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and
   ask if they meant you or them.
 * McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
 * Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
 * Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s’
   names.
 * A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
 * A picture is now only worth 200 words.
 * When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
 * The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally….

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. 
I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got
all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Compliments of Diana Baxter

Business, Forwarded, funny Business,buzz,debt,internet,money


DOES THE 5 BITE DIET WORK?

July 10th, 2011 No Comments »


So my brother Joseph decided to go on the 5 bite diet exactly one month ago
today – Here are the results.
He decided to take a picture of the scale after each weigh in. The diet is VERY
simple after day 3, and the rules are as easy as PIE.

197 lbs on 6-12-11

This is the first picture he took on the scale. on June 12th (the day we all
started (i lost 16 so far)), he weighed in at 197.00 LBS. He was motivated and
ready.

After Week 1 at 187 down 10 lbs.

Week 1 passed and obviously he was very excited to see the results. 10 POUNDS?
are you kidding me? Well, that obviously got him motivated to continue the diet
and see what would happen.

After Week 2 at 180.5 down 16.5 lbs.

After the second full week, he shed another 6.5 LBS not bad for a diet where you
can eat WHATEVER you want.

After Week 3 at 175 down 22 lbs.

OK, week 3 passed, and was it possible to lose anymore? YES – he weighed in at
175. that’s exactly 22 LBS of his body.

After Week 4 at 171 down 26 lbs.

Today was the last official weigh in. Weighed in at 171 LBS – that’s a total of
26 LBS in 28 Days, all while eating what he wants. We will weigh in again next
week, but we officially wanted to see what he will look like after one month.
(before and after shots to come soon)


NOW YOU BE THE JUDGE. DOES IT WORK? I SAY YES – THE 5 BITE DIET DOES WORK.

Family, Public Announcement 5 bite,diet


NASTY VIRUS GOING AROUND

May 17th, 2011 No Comments »


Just a warning about a nasty Virus going around.
Someone in our office got it, and it was a pain to FIX.
When you click on the link, it makes it look like you are downloading an adobe
product, however, if you look closely at the link it says that the publisher is
unknown.
Either way, once you click on the link it is a .EXE file and it will
automatically start to download on your computer.
It is for a software scanner program. Your computer becomes totally crippled
until you BUY the software cleaner for $59.95
You cannot do anything on your computer (open any of your programs (it says it
is corrupted), such as excel, word, explorer) until you purchase it, then they
have their software installed on your computer and track all your moves. There
are some ways around it if you are an IT pro, by disabling some of the services
in the task manager. But i couldn’t do it, and i consider myself pretty computer
savvy.

I guess the moral of the story is to NOT CLICK on it, and if you do, PRAY.

Here is a pic of the email that is going around

Virus Email Using Adobe Shell

You can also download a Free Excellent Anti Malware program here and run it on
your computer.

I would also recommend that everyone uses this tool on their computer for
cleaning up all excess fat on their system (also a free tool)

UPDATE:

I sent an email to the Company that is sending the email (I assumed the email
was being hacked), they informed me that the email is a fraud and it is in fact
a virus. Below is a picture of the email I got from the Company.

Abuse Response Email

And if after all this you still get it, I would recommend calling Levi Lieder
from Datatech (818-668-2011) to Fix it, since so far he is the only one that I
know who can.

Business, Public Announcement, Technology computer virus,Forwarded,internet


WALMART SWEEPING NATION

May 16th, 2011 No Comments »


Ever Wonder how fast Walmart has conquered just the United States. Check out
this 15 second Video that will show you how fast the Walmart Epidemic has spread
across the US. Its incredible to image that just one person started this. Sam
Walton was the pioneer behind this Multi Billion dollar business. The United
States Consumer Price, and Spending Index is now measured by Walmart sales and
figures. Go Figure.

Check it out….



Business, Technology, You Tube
Business,interesting,Marketing,money,Walmart,Website,youtube


GOOGLE SAYS JEWS ARE WHAT???

May 13th, 2011 No Comments »


Google’s instant search feature is a great tool, however, sometimes it works
against you.

If you type certain things into the google toolbar it tries to figure out the
rest of what you are going to search….

Well look below.  (click to enlarge)

Jews are What???

Business, Misc, Technology Business,Google,Website


DOS EQUIS MAN AS A KID

May 12th, 2011 No Comments »


What did the Dos Equis Man look like when he was young?
You ever wondered what the Dos Equis Man (the most interesting man in the world)
looked like when he was Younger? Here are some snapshots we found from Dos Equis
archives. Rumor has it that he was born as not only the most interesting man in
the world, but the Coolest kid in the world. He always had the swag. These are
exclusive pictures. No one else has them, only available on joelbess.com. You
can see the pictures and videos of what he looks like as an old man over here.
But Rumor has it that he isn’t half as interesting as he was when he was a
youth.











Family, funny, Kids Family,funny,Pictures,Website


IS THE VIRUS A HOAX

May 10th, 2011 No Comments »


You be the Judge….

Here is a Wikipedia Link. You will see a lot of similar content. However, do you
want to be a victim? Better be safe then sorry.

Forwarded, Public Announcement computer virus,internet,Website


OSAMA BIN LADEN VIRUS ALERT

May 10th, 2011 No Comments »


TWO SUBJECT LINES of which to be AWARE.

Just verified this with Snopes and it is REAL.  ALSO WENT TO TRUTH OR FICTION,
IT’S on their site also. See their site…  truthorfiction.com

PLEASE INFORM EVERYONE you know!

1.) Emails with pictures of Osama Bin-Laden hanged are being sent, and the
moment that you open these emails your computer will crash and you will not be
able to fix it!

If you get an e-mail along the lines of ‘Osama Bin Laden Captured’ or ‘Osama
Hanged’, don’t open the Attachment!!!!

This e-mail is being distributed through countries around the globe, but mainly
in the US and Israel. Be considerate & send this warning to whomever you know.

2.) You should be alert during the next few days:

Do not open any message with an attached file called ‘Invitation’ regardless of
who sent it. It is a virus that opens an Olympic Torch which ‘burns’ the whole
hard disc C of your computer!!!!

This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her
contact list that is why you should send this E-mail to all your contacts.

It is better to receive this message 25 times than   to receive the virus and
open it.

If you receive an e-mail called ‘invitation’, even though sent by a friend. Do
not open it!!!

This is the worst virus announced by CNN, it has been classified by Microsoft as
the most destructive virus ever.

This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for
this kind of virus…

This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where other vital
information is kept.

SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!!

Forwarded, Public Announcement computer virus,internet,Misc,Website
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