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OUTAGE JOKES

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18


I JUST HAD A POWER OUTAGE DURING SEX.

What a turn off.
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DON'T JOKE ABOUT POWER OUTAGES

That's just dark humor
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A POSSIBLE REASON FOR THE FACEBOOK OUTAGE

Bruno Fernandes' penalty had hit the satellite
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IF PG&E GOES THROUGH WITH THE PLANNED OUTAGE...

...then I guess we're powerless to stop them.
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2 BLONDES DURING POWER OUTAGE...

The first says: "I was just leaving home and was stuck in an elevator for 30
minutes..."

The second one replies: " That's nothing, I was at the mall and was stuck on the
escalator for 2 whole hours!"
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MY LOCAL DOCTOR'S OFFICE HAD A POWER OUTAGE JUST AS I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE MY
VACCINE. I ASKED IF I COULD HAVE IT ANYWAY, ON THE OFF CHANCE THEY MIGHT STILL
LET ME.

Well, it was a shot in the dark.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18


I WAS POOPING IN A BATHROOM WITH NO WINDOWS WHEN THE THERE WAS A POWER OUTAGE.

When I had to wipe my butt I couldn't see shit.
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JESUS AND THE DEVIL HAVE CHALLENGED EACH OTHER TO A TYPING BATTLE ON MS WORD

It's a close battle and they're down to the last word, when boom! Power outage!

When the power outage is resolved, all of the Devil's progress was lost, but
Jesus only had one word to type!

Moral of the story: Jesus saves, and so should you.
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IT MUST BE CONFUSING WORKING AT A MINT WHEN A POWER OUTAGE HAPPENS.

because when it happens, everything stops making cents.
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WE HAD A OUTAGE AT MY PLACE THIS MORNING...

We had a outage at my place this morning and my PC, laptop,
TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down.
Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it
was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.
I went into the kitchen to make coff... read more
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SO MANY POWER OUTAGES LATELY

No one wants to shed light on the matter
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AT NIGHT AFTER A LONG POWER OUTAGE, THE LIGHTS FINALLY CAME BACK ON IN CHARLIZE
THERON'S HOUSE.

When the lights returned, her housekeeper exclaimed:

Charlize, they're on!
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DUE TO A POWER OUTAGE, THE HOUSE WAS VERY DARK SO THE PARAMEDIC ASKED KATHLEEN,
A 3-YR OLD GIRL TO HOLD A FLASHLIGHT HIGH OVER HER MOMMY SO HE COULD SEE WHILE
HE HELPED DELIVER THE BABY

... Little Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his feet and spanked him
on his bottom And he began to cry. The paramedic then asked the wide-eyed 3-yr
old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. She quickly responded
'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place, spank ... read more
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A MAN CALLS TECHNICAL SUPPORT.

“Word Perfect Technical support; may I help you?”
“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”

“What sort of trouble?”

“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

“Went away?”

“They disappeared.”

“Hmm. So what does your screen ... read more
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ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN

A friend of Neil Armstrong said when you landed on the moon,
in all the excitement, how the hell did you come up with that great saying …

One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?

Just Amazing to be able to come up with that, on the spur of the moment!

Neil said i d... read more
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YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THE POWER OUTAGE IN NEW YORK CITY...

I think the news should have shed more light on it.
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GOD JUDGES SATAN VS JESUS IN COMPUTER PROGRAMMING WAR.

God tells Satan and Jesus they are supposed to create the perfect computer
program.

Satan starts off strong and within the first fifteen minutes has the rough
architecture of his program figured out and designed.

30 minutes in and Satan is cruising along. Satan is getting all the laye... read
more
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MY TOWN HAS BEEN RECENTLY FACING POWER OUTAGES THAT LAST FOR WEEKS

However, the government doesn't want to shed light on the matter
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18


THE PASTOR'S FIRST MASS

The young pastor was so nervous before his first mass that he could not speak a
word. He asks the bishop for advice, and he tells him to pour two drops of vodka
in a glass of water and drink it.

The young pastor does as advised and immediately felt so good that nothing could
stop him.
<... read more
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I HAVEN’T HAD A SERVER GO DOWN ON ME THAT LONG

since New Year at Hooters.
Edit for explanation:
https://techcrunch.com/2016/08/11/reddit-is-currently-experiencing-a-major-outage/
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THANKS TO MY INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER, I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO READ A BOOK....

They had an outage
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