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Lead


WHAT COUNTS AS A RUDE INTERRUPTION DEPENDS ON YOUR GENDER, STUDY CONFIRMS


WOMEN HAVE LONG SUSPECTED IT. NOW SCIENCE CONFIRMS IT.

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By Jessica Stillman, Contributor, Inc.com@EntryLevelRebel
Shutterstock


If you're a woman, you'll probably recognize this scenario: You're in a heated
discussion with another person or a group. Driven by your strong feelings about
whatever subject you're talking about, you interject a point or strenuously
defend your position.



"Calm down. Stop yelling and interrupting," someone tells you, only to turn and
listen respectfully to a man speaking just as loudly and insistently.

What counts as yelling and rudely interrupting, it seems, can feel like it
depends on your gender, not the decibels of your voice or your actual
conversational style. Are you imagining this annoyance? Nope, says a new study
by Stanford linguist Katherine Hilton. There is apparently a gender gap in what
counts as an interruption.


THE INTERRUPTION GAP.



We tend to think of interrupting as an objective phenomenon -- you either cut
someone off midsentence or you didn't. But science actually paints a more
complicated picture. People have different conversation styles and expectations,
and an interjection that might seem like a rude interruption in certain contexts
instead comes across as passionate and engaged in others. What counts as an
interruption is a matter of interpretation, in other words, and women are
interpreted differently than men.

By playing clips of carefully scripted conversations to 5,000 Americans, Hilton
was able to investigate people's perceptions of different speakers. Sometimes
those reading the scripts were male. Sometimes they were female. Did the gender
of the speaker make a difference to listeners' assessments of whether the
speaker was rude or just excited, even though the scripts were exactly the same?



It did. Hilton "found a gender disparity among survey participants," reports
Stanford News. "Male listeners were more likely to view women who interrupted
another speaker in the audio clips as ruder, less friendly, and less intelligent
than men who interrupted."





The scale of the difference, and the fact that women who interjected were judged
as dumber, surprised Hilton. "Finding this gender bias wasn't as surprising as
the extent of it and the fact that it altered perceptions of a female speaker's
intelligence, which we don't think of as related to interruptions," she
commented.


ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE DOUBLE BIND FACING WOMEN.

The fact that it's easier to get labeled rude if you're female probably won't
come as a huge shock to many women. Nor is it much of a surprise to anyone
familiar with the many studies showing women face similar double standards in
how they are perceived at work.

When it comes to gaps in pay and professional advancement, women are often told
their behavior is at least partly to blame. Speak up. Lean in. Negotiate harder,
they are advised. Yet many women sense that following these prescriptions isn't
so simple. Yes, arguing for more money or recognition might get you ahead, but
it might also get you labeled disagreeable and blacklisted from future projects.
Science shows their fears are well founded.

Repeated studies prove that while men who stick up for themselves are thought of
as tough, competent, and not particularly unlikable. Women who do the exact same
thing are judged as hard to work with and, frankly, bitchy. This latest Stanford
study is another bit of evidence along these lines. It's just easier to be seen
as rude if you're a woman.


WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.

What should we all do about this annoying double standard? If you're a woman,
being aware of the issue can help you calibrate for your audience (even though
it's exhausting and unfair to have to do so). Sheryl Sandberg has also
advised that if you're going to get passionate at work, frame your passion as
driven by concern for others, which fits in more easily with societal notions of
women as caregivers. Alternatively, this trick women in the Obama White House
used to help one another be heard and valued might be worth a try.

If you're a man, knowing -- in the immortal words of G.I. Joe -- is half the
battle. Now that you're aware of this bias, take the next step and actually try
to adjust your thinking to counteract it. Next time your knee-jerk reaction is
to find a passionately engaged woman rude or overbearing, ask yourself: Would I
feel the same about a man speaking the exact same way? This study shows the
honest answer will often be no.

Lola co-founder Jordana Kier explains the unconventional way she pitched her
tampon company to male venture capitalists.
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