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Bushel & A Peck
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CARAMEL APPLE MUFFINS

9/22/2017

4 Comments

Hello!

Happy first day of autumn! :)

Truthfully, it's not been terribly "autumn-y' around here! We've had
hotter days than we had all summer, and we've had them more continuously than we
had all summer! But, the earth temperature aside, our apple and pear trees are
still making fruit (although not as happily as usual), and making muffins from
some of that fruit needed to happen!

I saw this recipe for Caramel-Apple Streusel Muffins from Tracey's
Culinary Adventures! They looked so good, and I had apples to spare, so I gave
them a shot! Of course, because I had a ton of apples, I made this recipe x 3
and stored most of them away in the freezer to use in school lunches,
breakfasts, or after school snacks. They are delicious & full of fall flavour!

Enjoy!!!

Caramel Apple Muffins

Ingredients:

Muffins

* 2 Cups flour
* 1/2 Cup white sugar
* 1/4 Cup brown sugar
* 2 Tsp baking powder
* 1 Tbsp cinnamon
* 1/2 Tsp salt
* 1 large egg
* 1 cup butter/sour milk (pour 2 tbsp lemon juice into a measuring cup, then
fill to 1 cup measure with milk. Stir and let sit to curdle)
* 1/4 cup butter, melted and slightly cooled.
* 2 Tsp vanilla extract
* 1/2 cup (heaping) peeled and diced apples
* 1/2 cup caramel bits, or 12 caramels, chopped

Streusel Topping

* 1/2 Cup packed brown sugar
* 5 Tbsp flour (1/4 cup + 1 Tbsp)
* 1/4 Cup quick-cooking oats
* 1 Tsp ground cinnamon
* Pinch o' salt
* 3 Tbsp unsalted butter, melted

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 400 F. Line muffin pan with paper liners
2. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon,
and salt
3. In a separate small bowl, whisk the egg, sour milk, melted butter, and
vanilla
4. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir just until moistened
5. Fold in the apples and caramel pieces until evenly distributed
6. To make the streusel: in a medium bowl, whisk together the brown sugar,
flour, oats, cinnamon, and salt. Add the melted butter and stir until the
mixture is crumbly
7. Divide the batter evenly among the liners, filling each about 3/4-full.
Sprinkle the streusel topping evenly over the muffin batter.
8. Bake the muffins for 10 minutes, then turn the oven down to 350 and bake for
an additional 10 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes
out clean
9. Transfer the pan to a wire rack and allow the muffins to cool for a few
minutes, then remove from the pan to the rack.

Let's shift gears a little here....and look at my kids from the last 4 years
of the first day of school! I mean, they go from babies to beautiful, grown-up
kids! *tear*

Let's shift gears again....to a little company that is starting up that
I'd love to briefly share about! It's called Little Red Canoe Book Co., and they
are a Canadian book subscription business!

I was asked to review a book box with Abby and Keziah, but that only
involved getting the boxes, and doing an online survey for the woman who got in
touch with me from the company - me talking about it here is all me!!!

The girls (and I) loved the boxes! They were beautiful, filled with wonderful
things, awesome books, and so much fun (which then makes reading even more
fun!). So, check them out!

That's all for now!
happy Friday!

4 Comments

SCHOOL LUNCHES

8/28/2017

7 Comments

Hello! Happy Monday!

The kids and I spent some time "in town" last week getting a few things for
school, and I couldn't believe how fast this summer went! Well, first it felt
slow, but then it flew by! Does that make any sense? Anyway, I'm gonna miss the
kids when they head back to school. I know the "usual" joke heading back into
school is the (tongue-in-cheek, soaked in sarcasm) "sooooo sad, the kids are
heading back to school!", but I actually enjoyed the kids this summer! Hahaha,
well, that sounded bad! Seriously though, the kids do the usual fighting,
complaining, whining and asking "what are we going to do today" instead of
just doing and being kids, but overall, I've really enjoyed watching my kids
grow and change this summer. We had some pretty serious road bumps like the
surfacing of some pretty little liars, and Caleb developing a stutter, but it
was good. It was really good. And, besides that, it's the only summer I'll ever
have with them being 12 (turned 13), 7 & 8. So, that's worth cherishing!
Anywhooooooooo......

I wanted to share today some school lunch ideas! A few years ago it dawned
on me that sending "the typical" lunch with my kids was weird....because I never
(ever!) give my kids a "normal" lunch all summer or on the weekends, so why
would I send a "traditional" lunch to school?!? During the summer (besides when
they're at camp) and every weekend, lunch is something like a 1 hour grazing
period that includes fruits, veggies, leftovers, and, well, whatever! If I make
the kids sit for a lunch during the summer and weekends, it's usually a "Dutch
Lunch" as we call it, which consists of fruits, veggies, usually meats and
cheese, crackers, pickles, raisins, ya know, basically a large snack.

I know a lot of Moms feed their kids like this is real life, so adding
stress to the school year by thinking we're suddenly required to make a proper
(sandwich, etc.) lunch is silly! ***SIDE NOTE**** If you do make sandwiches for
your kids because they like them and actually eat them - then make sandwiches!
This is not an "anti-sandwich" post, it's a "do what you've been doing!" post!
:) Does that make sense??? No Mommy guilt here is what I'm trying to say! It
takes all kinds of Moms to make the world go 'round, so do what you do, and do
it the best you can!

If you journey with me to Fall 2014, you'll find a post a wrote about Back
To School, where I share some of my tips & tricks for making the school year
*relatively* stress-free (if your school year seems completely stress
free...you're missing something....you may need your meds adjusted). I joke. Ok,
I only joke a little. Anywho, read that post, then come back here.

I'll wait.

Ok, so, today I just want to share some easy, healthy, snack-meals for kids
lunches!

Enjoy! Oh, and don't forget to take a minute to comment and share some good
kids lunch ideas with me!

This is the lunch menu I use for my kids. It's from a site called "Hello,
Cuteness", which is currently on hiatus for some reason. Anyway, it's really
cute, and I've been using it for about 4 years.

I mention this in the Back To School post from 2014, but for me, making a
lunch menu saves me grief. I don't want to stand and stare into the fridge
wondering what to pack my kids for lunches. And because we do our grocery
shopping only once a week, and at a grocery store 40 minutes away, I can't just
helter skelter pack my kids lunches because I can't just run to the store to
replace what I've used if I realize I needed it for a planned dinner. Yes, we
have a little grocer here where I live, but things are more expensive, and
therefore not cost effective for this one-income house.
If you don't want a lunch menu, then don't do one! Again, no Mommy-guilt
here! I've said it before, and I'll say it again (and again!) it's about finding
what works for you, and making it work!

In the lunch menu shown below, the girls are separate from Caleb because
there are a few differences in their preferences, and so it was easier for me to
have 2 menus. Also, "special fruit" in the girls' menu refers to a different
fruit they get to choose during our Sunday shopping trip that I'll pack into
their lunches. It's just a chance for them to have a fruit we wouldn't
ordinarily buy, but that they really enjoy!

Caleb's menu says "fruits" on opposite days of "Apple" because I didn't
want to have to put exactly what that "fruit" would be, but I wanted to try to
not send the same fruit every day because of a faulty memory! :) So, "fruit"
usually means a banana, orange, clementine, pineapple, peach, berries, basically
whatever might be seasonal or on sale that Caleb enjoys!

I've found that my kids eat the most when they have a variety, and not too
much of anything. If your child does like sandwiches, maybe just make them a
half sandwich so that they aren't overwhelmed by an entire sandwich that they
may not want or have time to eat.

Here's a site you might not look at for kids lunches, but Beach Body on
Demand has a post called "6 Simple No-Cook Snacks To make This Week" (it's a
long title....and it's not no cook because hard-boiled eggs don't come out of a
chicken that way!), but anyway, I still like the snack (lunches, really) ideas.

Rachel over at Following in my Shoes shares a post called "Paleo & Primal Lunch
Box Ideas", and I love the cute food list she's created for it! Even if you're
not feeding your kids Paleo or Primal, it's a super healthy food list, which any
kid could benefit from.

You'll want to check the post out because she shares the downloadable file
for the list! Print it out, and stick it inside a cupboard door for easy
reference!

Check out my Pinterest board for "School Lunch Ideas" to see all I've been
pinning, or check out my board "For Adam To Take To Work" for your older
children or kids with a more adult palette!

I hope you enjoyed this post! Let me know in the comments below if you did,
or share with me your favourite lunch as a kid, and be sure to share any of your
lunch packing tips!

7 Comments

NUTRITION FOR CHILD ATHLETES

8/7/2017

10 Comments

Hello! I'm still here!

We've just returned from our time at Pleasant Bay Camp, where I was once
again the camp cook!

It was a good experience again, and my stress levels were waaaaaaay down
from last year. One reason for that was that it wasn't an unknown (even though
there are many variables in planning, prepping, and serving food to large
numbers) because I'd already done the cooking at this camp last year, and also
this year was a lot easier ("easier"-it's still a lot of hard work with long,
long hours!) because I had adult help! I loved my kitchen staff from last
summer, but it wasn't until this year where I had consistent grown-up help that
I went "ooohhhhh....last summer was extra stressful, and extra work because I
had (wonderful, sweet) teens helping me who knew nothing. Nothing!".

Anywho, one struggle I had last year planning the menu, and this year
with updating and simplifying it, was nutrition. These kids at camp are outdoors
basically all day, are in the sun, are swimming, boating, waterskiing, tubing,
rock-wall climbing, walking and running, playing on the playground, the list
goes on and on, and these kids need food that is fuel! Summer camp cooking can
be hard because of budgets, and the number of staff available to do fruit &
veggie prep work. But I was blessed both last summer and this to be able to buy
good food for the kids, and the staff to get fresh fruits and vegetables out to
the kids and staff every day, and at every meal.

Back in the spring, Katie Cruz from Consider Digital asked if she could
write a guest post for me at Bushel & A peck, and after looking over some of her
writing, and considering the topics she wanted to write about, I thought that an
article about nutrition for child athletes would be perfect! I have Abigail &
Keziah in soccer in the spring, and so I am feeling first hand the need for
fitness nutrition, and I’m also with a lot of other Moms and Dads who, in the
rush to make it to practices and games, often let the nutrition of their kids
suffer.
And with trying to plan meals that would be nutritionally sound for the
active campers I was charged with feeding, I thought this article was perfect
for me, and worthy of sharing! Also, I am a "soccer mom", and I watched kids
come to games and practices who hadn't had anything to eat in hours, or (even
worse) they'd shovelled back a McDonald's Happy Meal on the car ride over. I'd
overhead conversations like "what do you want for supper after practice? Pizza?
Happy meal?". As though those were the only options. I'm not here to pass
judgement, because I know how hard it can be to feed kids that are on the go,
and my kids have eaten their fair share of happy meals, but when it comes to
kids expelling extra energy, feeding them well is so important. If you had a
race car, would you just siphon fuel out of any old vehicle to give to your car?
Not likely. Kids need good food as fuel, so enjoy this article from Katie, and
let me know what you think, or if you have any helpful tips you want to share!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nutrition Advice For Child Athletes
This article is for the soccer parents out there who give their unwavering
support to their children from the sidelines. Shouting the loudest, jumping the
highest and giving their children everything they need in order to succeed in
the sporting arena. Back in the day, sports nutrition was relatively new to
everyone with most being unaware of the physical benefits it could provide in
performance.
Parents strive to give their little sports stars all the tools they need
to be the best they can be. This should also include giving them the right food
for pre-game energy and post-game recovery. To understand what type of meals you
should be fuelling your child’s engine with for sport competitions, read the
recommended tips in this article.
Through it all, remember to take care of yourself too. More on real food
here!

My sweet girls on the Tweed soccer team, and Abby in red for the school soccer
team

Nutritional Needs of Child Athletes
Little sports stars have a higher energy and fluid requirement because
they are involved in all-day competitions and strenuous endurance sports like
competitive swimming. Besides getting the right amount of calories, it takes a
variety of nutrients, vitamins and minerals to keep young athletes performing at
their best:
* Calcium helps build strong bones to resist breaking and stress fractures.
Low-fat dairy products like yogurt and cheese as well as leafy green
vegetables such a broccoli are calcium rich foods.
* Iron aids in carrying oxygen to all the different parts of the body that
require it. Iron rich foods include lean meat, chicken, tuna, salmon, eggs,
dried fruits, leafy greens and fortified whole grains.
* Protein helps to build and repair muscles. Fish, lean meat, poultry, beans,
nuts and soy products are protein rich. Take note that an excessive amount of
protein can lead to dehydration and calcium loss. Protein aids muscle
recovery when consumed after exercise and should account for 10% to 15% of
the caloric intake.

* Fat should account for 25% to 30% of total calories. High-fat foods may cause
discomfort if eaten too close to the start of physical activity, but some fat
is needed on a regular basis for growth. Add healthy fat that’s found in
avocados, tuna, canola oil, soy, and nuts to your child’s meal.
* Carbohydrates provide energy for your child athlete and it is the most
important source of fuel. Note that there is no need for “carbo loading”
prior to a big game, but without any carbohydrates in their system, kids will
be running on empty. When you're choosing carbs, look for whole-grain foods
like whole-wheat pasta, brown rice, whole-grain bread and cereal, and plenty
of fruits and vegetables. You can even find carbohydrates in nutritional
supplements like PediaSure that provide complete and balanced nutrition
suitable for children between the ages of one to 10. It has an advanced blend
of 3 carbohydrate sources to promote maximum digestion and absorption for
balanced energy release.

Water and lots of it
It’s essential for child athletes to drink plenty of fluids to prevent
dehydration. Lack of fluids can decrease your child’s strength, energy, and
coordination and potentially lead to heat-related illnesses. Even mild
dehydration can affect athletic performance. Experts recommend that kids drink
water or other fluids before and every 15 to 20 minutes during physical
activity. It's important to drink afterward to restore fluid lost through sweat.
Plain water is typically enough to keep kids hydrated. If your child is
participating in a strenuous physical activity lasting longer than an hour, then
you can consider a sports drink that is designed to provide energy and replace
electrolytes like protein, sodium and potassium that your child will lose in
sweat. After exercising for 60 to 90 minutes, the body has used up its readily
available sources of energy. Sports drinks are also a good alternative for kids
who participate in sports but won't drink enough water.
In 2011, the American Academy of Paediatrics published a statement on the
use of sports drinks and energy drinks for children and adolescents, stating
that they can benefit from using sports drinks containing carbohydrates,
proteins and electrolytes but are of little benefit for the average child
engaged in routine physical activity. For them, water is sufficient. During
intense physical activities, whatever beverage a child will drink the most of is
the best choice to prevent dehydration. However, the bottom line is that for
most young athletes, water is the best choice for hydration. After the activity,
carbohydrates and electrolytes can be replenished through nutritious food.
Abby's school soccer team

Game Day Prep
Here is a list to tackle your child’s game day:
* A meal 3 hours or more before activity should have plenty of carbohydrates
and a moderate amount of protein that is low in fat because fat takes longer
to digest, which can cause an upset stomach. High-fiber foods also may cause
stomach upset, so it's best to avoid these foods until after the game.
* If your child is going to eat less that 3 hours before the game, serve a
lighter meal or snack that includes easy-to-digest carbohydrate-containing
foods, such as fruits, vegetable or fruit juice, crackers, or bread.
* After the game, experts recommend eating carbohydrates within 30 minutes
after the intense activity and again 2 hours later. Your child's body will be
rebuilding muscle tissue and replenishing energy stores and fluids for up to
24 hours after the competition. So it's important that the post-game meal be
a balance of lean protein, carbs, and fat.
* And remember, when packing your child's bag for the big game; add a water
bottle or sports drink.

The girls being their usual, active selves! :)
It's essential to feed your child healthy meals and snacks consistently,
even during the off-season. This will provide a solid foundation during times
of competition.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, that's it for now!

I'm heading out for the week with the kids, but hopefully I'll put
something up again here soon! I've got some nice recipes lined up, and look
forward to sharing them!

I hope your summer is going well, wherever you are & whatever you're
doing!

10 Comments

CINNAMON SUGAR CHEX MIX

6/23/2017

2 Comments

I'm sorry I've been away for soooooooo long!!!

I've been home, but I've been busy and have hardly had any time at all to sit
at the computer, write a blog, edit some pictures, stay still for more than 15
minutes!

But I am still here! I wanted to super-quick show up today to share this
oh-so-simple and fabulous treat!

I first saw it on Confessions of a Cookbook Queen, and thought it looked
really (reeeeaaaaally!) good! But, I hadn't gotten around to making it yet,
mostly due to having a really tight grocery budget the last few months. I wasn't
buying whatever I wanted to make whatever I wanted, and Chex cereal just wasn't
making it on the grocery list week after week! So, when I was in a grocery store
I don't normally go to, and saw they had slightly beat-up boxes of Cinnamon Chex
at clear-out prices (because the boxes were a little squashed), I did a little
happy dance, and grabbed two boxes! I may have also out loud said, "Oh Boy!!!".
I got some side-wise glances, but, whatever!

I knew the recipe I'd pinned didn't call for Cinnamon Chex, but I didn't
see how it would effect this treat negatively? If anything, I imagined them
being even better because of the extra cinnamon-iness. That's a word.

So, here it is, a sweet treat worthy of every Canada Day, 4th of July, and
summer BBQ you will attend!

Cinnamon Sugar Chex Mix (Gluten-Free!)
From Confessions of a Cookbook Queen

Ingredients:

* 2/3 Cup sugar (white, granulated)
* 2 Tsp ground cinnamon
* 9 Cups Cinnamon Chex Cereal
* 1/2 Cup salted butter
* 1 Cup packed brown sugar
* 1/4 Cup corn syrup
* 1/4 Tsp baking soda

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Line a large baking sheet with foil or parchment, and spray with nonstick
baking spray, or brush/rub with butter
3. Combine white sugar & cinnamon in a small bowl, and set aside
4. Pour cereal into a large, heat-safe bowl, and set aside
5. In a heavy saucepan over medium heat butter, brown sugar, and corn syrup
until the mixture comes to a boil, and let boil for one minute, stirring
constantly. Remove from heat, and stir in baking soda
6. Pour hot butter/sugar/soda mixture over cereal and stir until cereal is
coated
7. Spread cereal on prepared baking sheet & sprinkle evenly with cinnamon/sugar
mixture
8. Place into hot oven and bake for about 5 minutes, then flip and bake for 3
more minutes, until cereal turns golden brown
9. Remove from oven and let cool completely, then break up and store in an
airtight container

In order for me to mentally be ok with sitting down for a while at the
computer, I had to promise myself to keep this post short! No gabbing, no going
on about what I've been busy with, no nonsense, just a recipe! So, I'm signing
off now!

I really hope to check back in here soon with a few more posts over the
summer, and be sure to let me know what your plans are for the summer!

xoxoxo

2 Comments

TEENY-TINY ROOM MAKEOVER!

5/8/2017

6 Comments

This post contains affiliate links. Although I was sponsored for the
publication of this post, all opinions and thoughts are my own! See the
Advertising Affiliate Disclaimer for more details!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey there! Thanks for checking in!
I am so excited to share with you today the transformation of our guest
room into our son’s new room!
I’ll share some of the obstacles that we needed to sort out to get the room
together, and I’m also so happy to be sharing a product that I LOOOOOVE! It’s
something I was introduced to years ago by a friend, and I’ve sort of been
hooked ever since! It’s a very, very affordable, clean looking, complementary to
every and any décor solution for window fashion! It’s a fabulous product called
Redi Shade! Seriously, I’m using Redi Shade in 6 rooms in our house (we only
have 8 rooms total in our house), and am planning to add them to the 2 final
rooms in our house soon!! I’ll be sharing some photos below!
Now, there were two MAJOR problems we faced as we went to work on Caleb’s
new room. One, the room we were working in is a meager 7 ½ feet by 12 ½ feet! Oi
vey! The other problem (which was compounded by the first problem) was how
enormous our son was growing everyday! In the time it took us to actually
complete this project (about 3 weeks-actually, it’s “technically” not even
finished. Just being real!), Caleb grew an additional 4 inches! I mean, what the
frick?!?
Another more minor problem was that we didn’t just want to plunk a bed into
Caleb’s new room, and then if he had guests, or if we had foster kids (which
we’ve finally been fully approved for! Yipee!), his room would be useless! He’s
way too big for a single bed (trust me, he was in a single bed, and his ever
growing {now} 5’7 frame was edging closer and closer to the ends of his bed
{which in Canada, measures to about 6 feet}!). So…what should we do?
Well, something gosh-darned crazy happened........my husband starting
digging around on Pinterest (yes, MY husband on Pinterest! He's not ordinarily a
Pinterest lover), and he came upon “loft beds”, and immediately knew that was
what we needed to do.

Not only would it give us the room to make Caleb a bigger bed, it wouldn’t
take up extra floor space to do so! And, we’ve had a futon in our room since we
moved into this house 5 ½ years ago, and I was desperate to get it out! It was
just taking up space in our room, but getting rid of it wasn’t an option because
every time we had visitors sleeping over, we needed that futon! But, bringing
Caleb’s bed up off the floor gave us that extra floor space to bring the futon
downstairs to Caleb’s room, tucked up in it’s couch form, creating a fun space
for Caleb and anyone else to hang out in!

Our tiny room! *Before*

So…bad news…I have no real “plans” to show you for the bed, because we were
winging it! We started with a mattress we just happened to have (I think my
father-in-law gave it to us), and it was a strange size (47" x 83"- considered a
“super-single” for a waterbed insert mattress size), and so we went from there.
Adam (my husband) started by creating a frame made up of 4- 83” 2x4’s, and
2- 48” 2x4’s. This made up a basic frame, and we anchored this into the wall at
the height (minus the mattress) we thought would be good for Caleb to sit up in
bed. We also had some 2" x 4"’s helping to hold up the frame as we worked at
getting it fastened to the floor joists in the ceiling. My husband fastened 2”x
6” boards to the outer corners of the bed to floor joists in the ceiling (we cut
holes in the ceiling, then re-dry walled them after) above by using 2 carriage
bolts at the bottom and 2 at the top (if you want more pictures or more details
of this, shoot me an e-mail, and I’ll make my hubby get back to you!). After the
boards were fastened from the bed to the ceiling, we took away the support 2" x
4"'s we had on the outer corners of the bed (see the bottom 2 pictures
below). We then installed 20 pieces of 1"x 4”x 48” deck board across the top of
of the frame, creating a “deck” of sorts that the mattress would sit on.
We did all of this after I’d cleared the room out and painted, btw. I wanted
to get the painting out of the way, and decided I would rather do the full job
up front, and have a few touch-ups to do after the job was done, rather then try
to paint the whole room oh-so-carefully around a new bed, bench, etc., later on.
Anywhooooo….
Measuring, cutting holes in the ceiling (with Caleb's help!), screwing and
anchoring, and finally, a loft bed!

See all that tape?!? It was madness! :) Also pictured is Caleb helping peel said
tape off the walls of his old room, as well as the cork tiles and spray adhesive
I used for his new cork board.

Once we had the bed well under way, I started thinking about what things
would make this tiny room feel like it had more space. So, we decided to build a
bench under the window, and a small “table” in the corner (this was also a
necessity as we’d recently had a new furnace put in, and we had new pipes fitted
throughout the house…...one of which ran right up the corner of Caleb’s room!
So, we needed to frame that in, and make that slightly irritating corner more
useful)! So, full disclosure, this a real blog, and I am a real human with a
real (working, busy) husband, and stuff doesn’t always get finished….and, well,
I’m posting this “room reno” blog, and the bench and small table aren’t
finished! But, I’m not comfortable enough with my skills to want to mount hinges
and doors and finish those 2 items myself, and I was tired of waiting for them
to get finished so I could publish this post, so I thought I’d send this out
into the WWW as a for-real-life reno!!! Not quite done! Be honest, you’ve got a
few nearly-done things happening in your house right now. Right? Maybe? Anyway,
moving on!
The bench was a real space saver as it houses all of Caleb’s cars and toys.
And the small table will eventually hold his books…but for now they’re just in
the bench with his toys (you can see the making of the bench in the photo of the
bed getting installed. It's in the bottom right hand photo)!
Another thing I decided his new room needed was a cork (bulletin) board. His
old room had slowly turned into a room completely plastered with colourings he’d
done! Not only that, but every time he put up a new picture, he’d use 400,000
pieces of tape to do it! So, I thought a cork board would help keep his drawings
tidy, and would also help him not use up so much freakin’ tape, and I hoped
would encourage him to hone in on which pictures he really, truly wanted to see
all the time stuck up in his room.
I started by using the plywood from his old single bed. The bed itself was
garbage, but that piece of plywood still had some life left to give. Because I
was using cork tiles from Dollarama that came in 12"x 12" pieces, I cut the
plywood down to fit the tiles. Basically, it was easier for me to cut the
plywood then to have to trim the cork tiles! I pre-drilled some holes where I
needed the screws to go, then mounted it directly on the wall, using E-Z Anchor
screws. I then used the cork tiles from Dollarama, and spray adhesive, and for
some pieces, Weld Bond, and worked on sticking all the tiles to the plywood
board. Some corners were creeping up, so I used teeny-tiny nails to set them
back down. Once the tiles were dried and secured, I created a “frame” for the
cork board by using random, mis-matched pieces of trim I dug out from our barn.
Much to my husbands’ chagrin, I didn’t do perfect angles and make a “real”
frame. Instead, I simply cut 2 pieces long enough for each side, then cut 2 more
pieces to fit across the top and bottom – minus the inch or so trim I’d cut for
the side pieces. If that makes sense? The board was 3' x 5', so I cut 2 -3'
pieces for the sides, and then 2 - (approx.) 4' pieces for the top ad bottom.
The end result is terrific, and Caleb was really pleased with it and had a good
time picking out which pictures would make it to the board!
Cork board all ready!

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Can I just get back to the Redi Shade now? For me, finding blinds or curtains
is painful! They can be expensive, you usually need to know the exact size (for
blinds), and then it all requires screws and anchors, and way more hassle than
I’m ever interested in!
Another issue for me and finding blinds or curtains for our current house is
that fact that it’s technically a 1 ½ storey, and a lot of the ceilings upstairs
are sloped, or the windows are (beautiful) and “framed in” by the ceiling,
making finding any room for a curtain rod nearly impossible. When we first moved
in we daftly stuck nails and screws into our beautiful, original (100 year old)
wood window trimming in an attempt at hanging up blinds and curtains. Makes me
wanna cry.
Well, we had friends who had these blinds, Redi Shades, and my reaction was
kinda “huh?... They’re just sticky blinds?... There’s no strings?... And they
cost what? That’s not very much!?”. So, I went out and easily found them at my
local Home Depot, and at Lowes, and as soon as I could, I bought a shade for our
bathroom (one that lets light in), and a shade for Caleb’s room (a room
darkening one so he wouldn’t wake up with the sun!), and I was hooked! Those 2
blinds we put in over 5 years ago are still holding strong! The only “mishap”
we’ve had was that the cat got all fired about catching a bug that flew behind
Caleb’s blinds, and she made a few rips in it while attempting to catch said
bug! I literally just used a small piece of tape and fixed them!
The Redi Shades in Caleb's new room

As far as simplicity in installation, cost effectiveness, clean looking, and
letting every bit of day-light in when open goes, these blinds are the winner,
head and shoulders above all the rest! I’m not just saying that! My husband who
works a rotating shifts (meaning he works days and nights), loves the room
darkening blinds in our room. They block out all the bright day light so he can
sleep during the day in preparation for his night shifts.
I recently tried a different type of shade from Redi Shade called the Easy
Lift shade, and it’s amazing!!! The original shades you need to put up (like an
accordion) and clasp together at the top with the clips they provide, but these
Easy Lift blinds have a small string inside that allow you to gently pull down
to close, or easily glide up to open without the use of clips. The Easy Lift
blinds are still very safe though (and by “safe” I’m referring to the dangers
often associated with the cords and strings that hang down from regular blinds),
but just offer a little more ease in use than the regular, Original Redi Shade.
So, in case you hadn’t gotten the gist, I am a wee bit obsessed with these
blinds! Just look at the pictures though - nice, tidy blinds, so much light when
I want it (because there's no curtains blocking any of it), no curtains for
anyone to grab at and pull down (the number of times I've had to try to re-mount
curtain rods because of the kids pulling them down! Sheesh!), easy to install
(no tools needed except a knife!), and affordable. I mean, c'mon, what more do
you want from a window covering!?!
Seriously, look at how clean and fresh and open the windows look with those Redi
Shades! You can't even see the Easy Lift shade there at all when it's pushed up!
(left hand picture in the middle)

I don’t even want to mention the floor, but I will, briefly. We were just
going to leave the laminate tongue in groove fake wood flooring, but then when
my husband was working at something in the room I heard a “craaaack”, and went
into see what had happened…he’d pulled up the floor and was ripping up the
subfloor, which was particle board, and it was making a horrible cracking sounds
as it came up! Anyway, I was shocked, but happy to see the nice, original pine
board floors underneath, and decided it looked much nicer having the boards run
the short way (you can see the laminate flooring ran the long way through the
room, but the pine runs the short way, giving the room a wider, less long and
narrow feel in my opinion). I spent a few days sanding the floor as it had been
thoroughly mudded to be even in preparation for the subfloor and laminate floor.
So, I sanded it down, and put 3 coats of a high-gloss, alykd enamel paint onto
the floor. It was a standard grey colour, I literally bought the cheapest,
construction grade paint. I didn’t really care exactly what colour it came out
to be because I knew we’d have a carpet laid down, and also, I’m cheap. There, I
said it.

Me sanding the floors before painting, and Adam, face covered in drywall dust,
while framing in the corner of Caleb's room. Also pictured is the small "table"
and bench framed in.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, the finishing touches included putting up some small Ikea shelves for
some of Caleb’s cars, putting up some of his pictures and paintings, installing
a small shelf up in his bed for his books and alarm clock, and touching up some
of the paint that got scuffed during the installation of the bed.
We also needed to make his closet functional because of the fact we decided
his tiny room couldn’t handle a dresser! (see middle right hand photo above) So,
we hung a simple storage organizer from Ikea, and installed some shelves, and I
stuck in a strange piece of furniture I’d purchased years ago. The shelves hold
his extra toys in a bin (we rotate them), as well as some “off-season” clothing.
The hanging organizer holds his pants and shirts. The picture of this looks
pretty empty (laundry day!), but that thing holds all of his 9 pants, and 14
t-shirts. His jammies, socks and underwear are in that bizarre piece, and his
sweaters and button-up shirts are hanging up. We can even fit his fan in there
(white noise for sleeping!) Because his room is right next to the laundry room,
I didn’t give him a laundry basket, he simply walks his dirty laundry directly
to the laundry basket in the laundry room each night!

Overall, I am so pleased with how the room turned out! Yes, we’re not
actually finished, but we’re finished enough, and Caleb moved in, and he loves
it! I stand by my "real life" post and sharing this with you before it's
actually finished, and not being sorry about it either! :)
If you have any questions about anything, don’t be afraid to e-mail and ask
me! I will happily respond with any help I can offer!
Don't forget to check out Redi Shade! I'm sure you'll love them as much as
I do!

Thanks for stopping by!!!

xoxo

6 Comments

AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH 2017 FINALE! :)

4/30/2017

1 Comment

Today is the final day of Autism Awareness Month! So, as is my custom, I
created a video of Caleb to celebrate all that he is!

Just for "fun", I'm also posting the last few years of videos!

APRIL 2017 - "MEANT TO BE"

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APRIL 2016 - "A YEAR WITH AUTISM"

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APRIL 2015 - "CALEB'S AUTISM ADVENTURES"

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APRIL 2014 - "CALEB"

Thanks for coming along with me this month!

xoxo

1 Comment

AUTISM & OBSESSIONS: PART II

4/27/2017

2 Comments

To say that my son Caleb, who has autism, merely “likes” things is a gross
understatement! We’ve spent the last 12 ½ years navigating extreme obsessions,
and working through how to teach our son moderation, and understanding the value
of money when it comes to wanting everything that was ever made for a particular
thing! For the last year or so he’s had tunnel vision for Cars 1. Not the movie,
actually, but for the toy cars from the movie. More specifically, every freakin’
toy car ever made from the Cars 1 movie!!! There’s a race scene with a bunch of
obscure cars, and Caleb has watched the clip of this race on YouTube over and
over, and has watched toy demos over and over, and has read lists over and over
about which cars are in the race scene, and what their names are, who their
sponsors are, what colours they are, and “we will find them at Toys R Us Mom!”
he says every time we drove by a Toys R Us! Truthfully, for a time we would stop
into Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, and even Shoppers Drug Mart to check if their Cars 1
toys selection had changed. We had to do it without Caleb though because if he
saw one he’d been pining for, he wouldn’t stop talking about it. There was no
buying it secretly and giving it to him later! If he knew we had in our
possession a Cars 1 racer, well, you could put what scrapes of sanity you had
left into the trash, because you were going to be HARASSED about it endlessly!!!
End…less…ly……
He has moved on slightly from the all consuming Cars 1 racers, so the
endless ramblings about the cars have ceased (for now!), and the obsessive
asking for whatever new car he’s discovered from the illusive race scene has
stopped, but they are still very much a part of his life. He still brings his
ENTIRE COLLECTION of cars with him in a bag everywhere we go. Ya know, just in
case?
FYI, Caleb’s current obsessions are (in no particular order): The Italian
Job video game, Forza Horizon video game, Veggie Tales (this has been a
recurring obsession for 10 years!), and with this particular obsession comes
none-stop quoting of lines, and demanding that the rest of us quote them for
him! We are here for his amusement, of course. J Moving on, he’s also obsessed
with toilets. Yes, I did say toilets. If he’s had a good day at school, part of
his reward is 5 minutes “toilet time” on the computer. What does this mean,
exactly? Well, for some reason completely unknown to me, there are hundreds and
hundreds of videos that people have taken of different toilets in different
locations. I don’t know, I don’t understand it either! But Caleb loves watching
these different toilets, the different noises they make, the different styles
they could be, and some of them make him laugh out loud. Not sure why. For a
while this obsession became a problem because everywhere we went he NEEDED to
use the bathroom to “check out” their toilet situation. It also became a problem
because at school, for instance, he would say he needed to use the bathroom 20
times a day, and so he’d be allowed to go, just in case he really actually had
to go. Which usually, he didn’t. We had to place restrictions on his toilet use
at church too because we’d leave him at Sunday School, and as soon as we left
he’d tell his helper he needed to use the bathroom, then he’d enter, and never
come out! Not until we came back to get him, and then he’d come out sheepishly,
apologizing insincerely. He’s getting way better at public washrooms (and I want
to remind the world that at one point in Caleb’s life he was TERRIFIED of public
washrooms, and would rather use his pants then enter the public bathroom! So,
trust me when I say you never know which direction your special needs child may
go when it comes to “troubling issues”!), and has stopped asking repeatedly to
use the bathroom when we go somewhere.

We see how Caleb’s obsessions work for good and bad. For example, he is able
to connect in some ways with kids who like the things he’s currently interested
in, but unfortunately, more often than not it alienates him because someone will
say “Hi Caleb, how are you today?”, and he will respond (in a very fast, not so
clear kind of way), “there will be an Austin Mini Cooper in The Italian Job
video game, and there will be a Honda Civic in the Forza Horizon video game at
Isaac Beatty’s house!!”. The response from whoever asked the question is
usually, “um……what?”. Yeah, that’s a common “conversation” in Caleb’s life.
So, how do we balance his obsessions with real life? Well, a lot of trial and
error still, but what we find most effective is using his obsessions as a reward
only, and not as a “well, he’s crazy about this, I guess he can do it all day!”
sort of mind-set. It can be easy to do that, to be honest, but it is not
beneficial to Caleb in the long run. He needs to learn in his autistic,
sometimes close minded, tunnel vision life, that having interests is healthy and
normal, but shouldn’t rule everything you do.
This may sound judgemental, and it’s not meant to be at all…but when I meet
or hear of special needs kids who spend all their time doing (insert obsession)
because it “makes them happy”, I can’t help but feel badly for that child. I
mean, unless their obsession is something super constructive like fund-raising
or maybe cleaning, I can’t see how letting them do whatever they want to do all
day, everyday, is a healthy and productive way to grow up. Us parents have a
tough job raising kids, and raising special needs kids just ups the ante on how
driven and focused we need to be with where we want them to go.
I recently heard someone say that if you don’t know where you’re going, then
you won’t know if you’re on the right road, and you won’t know when you get
there. That struck a chord with me because, well, it’s so freakin’ true, but it
really felt so applicable to raising Caleb and being extra aware of what we
doing to put him onto a path that is leading him into adulthood.
So, if we let him obsessively watch toilets on YouTube, and flush every
toilet we ever saw, he would become someone that couldn’t possibly attend
school, hold a job, be a good son, friend, or have deep meaningful relationships
at all.
So, back to my point – obsessions as rewards. Caleb gets to keep his Cars toys
with him, obviously, but to use them as a reward, if he’s been unkind to his
sisters, we take away 2 of his Cars characters, and he doesn’t get them back for
a week. He likes the “collection” to always be together, so taking two out is
hard for him. Sometimes he’s got 6-8 gone at one time because he’s been
particularly “edgy” with his sisters, but we have found that in the last few
months this method of character training has been beneficial to him, and the
incidences of upset between him and his sisters is decreasing.
Also, If Caleb has had a good day at school, he gets to have “free computer
time”, with the first 5 minutes being “toilet time”. If his day was pretty good,
but with perhaps a few hiccups, then he still gets computer time, but no
toilets. If we’re out and about, and Caleb hasn’t asked endlessly to see the
toilets in whatever locations we’re at, we let him check them out. We’ll say
something like, “thanks for not asking repeatedly to go to the bathroom and see
the toilets, how about we pop into this bathroom to see their toilets for doing
such a good job?”. That always makes his day!

(top photo) When I go onto YouTube, this is often what my "suggested videos"
are. Lucky me! :) And Caleb likes to set his room up into a race track, frozen
in time! If you move anything even an inch, he knows and promptly moves it back!

Using the things he’s constantly drawn to and thinking about as training
tools is (in my opinion) a very effective way to bring up a child, special needs
or otherwise.
That’s how grown-ups live though, right? Hahaha, well, maybe kind of. I’m
sure the toilet scenario doesn’t apply to many people! But, if you love
something, usually it’s only something that you get to do occasionally, or it’s
something you plan do to like going out for a nice dinner, visiting friends,
etc. Most neuro-typical (non-autistic) adults know that just because you like
your friends doesn’t mean you should quit your job and spend all day following
your friends around. Or if you like going out for meals you should just go out
for every meal, every day. We learn the skill of applying moderation to those
things we enjoy. So, if I allow my son to simply indulge endlessly in his
obsessions because it’s “just autism”, and “it makes him happy”, I may as well
pick him up and set him on the road that leads nowhere.
I want (I dream, I hope, I pray) for Caleb to become a young man who can
develop deep and meaningful relationships, for him to have a girlfriend and be
the best boyfriend ever, for hime to be a caring and loving son and brother,
for him to hold a job, and be a tremendously contributing member of society.
All those things won’t come to him if he’s allowed to shut himself up into his
own world of toilets, Cars 1, Veggie Tales, the Italian Job video game, and
whatever else he suddenly catches sight of that turns him into a tunnel vision
monster!
I secretly hope he will become a plumber though. Let’s talk about using
obsessions to fuel careers, shall we!?! Ok, I’ll save that for another time (or,
you can read a post I wrote a long time ago about it). But honestly, if this
toilet thing persists, becoming a plumber would be a very important, reliable,
and fulfilling job for Caleb. I mean, he actually, honest-to-goodness LOVES
toilets! J And we’re always gonna need shitters! Excuse my French.
It is always my hope that somewhere in my ramblings, there is something
helpful you can draw from it. Raising a child with special needs is, well,
special! That means taking special care to look to their future, and see where
you hope they will go. From there, you take the tools you have (even those
sometimes pesky obsessions!), and create a life that builds on your child’s
strengths, challenges their weaknesses, and creates a life that will be
fulfilling for your child.
xoxo

2 Comments

AUTISM & AN INTERVIEW: PART III

4/20/2017

8 Comments

Today I am going to share an interview I recently did with Caleb, my son
who has autism.

I feel like I should have been interviewing Caleb every 2 weeks for the last
few months because he has been growing and changing A LOT!!!! I can't even grasp
the changes he's undergone physically! Yikes!!! I am the mother to a HUGE
man-child! : ) He;s got a man-voice! In my sentimental state I created a last 7
years photo collage for you to see! I stopped at 7 years back for no reasons in
particular. I could have kept going all the way to birth, but that would have
been a huge collage!!!

Anyway, I wanted to share the most recent interview with you today as part
of Autism Awareness Month. I asked him more questions than I usually would, and
tried to dig a little deeper to let you get to know Caleb even more!

That's all for today!

xoxo

8 Comments

WHEAT-FREE SPRING TREATS!

4/13/2017

0 Comments

Hello!

We head out today to spend the weekend with family, but I wanted to make a
quick appearance here to share some delicious and simple treats you can make for
Easter (or anytime, really!)

I've got 2 treats to share, both wheat free, both could be gluten-free too
(if you used gluten-free Rice Krispies).
I recently saw some little rice krispie nests from Crafty Morning, and
thought they looked so gosh darned cute! I knew they'd be easy to make, but I
was going to make some personal preference adjustments. For starters, the
beautiful nests that Michelle at Crafty Morning made had an edible grass in
them...? I've never even heard of such a thing, so I decided I would make a
quick and small batch of green buttercream, and pipe some grass into my nests.
Also, she uses Robin Eggs candies (chocolates?), again, I don't know what they
are. But I do know what Cadbury mini eggs are, and I know we all loooooove them
in this house, so that swap was a no-brainer!

The second sweetie I saw was Springtime Marshmallow Wands from Two Sisters.
I love mallows, and chocolate, and my brain said, "Hey! You have sticks!", so
then it just seemed like a natural step to go ahead and make these!

So, here you go! Enjoy!

Rice Krispie Nests
Makes about 36 mini nests

Ingredients:
* 1/4 Cup butter or margarine
* 4 Cups mini marshmallows, or 40 large marshmallows
* 6 Cups Rice Krispie cereal
* Small batch green buttercream (homemade or store bought tube)
* Cadbury Mini Eggs

Method:
1. Prepare a mini muffin tin with cooking spray, or use your hands and rub
butter or margarine onto it. Set aside
2. In large saucepan melt butter over low heat
3. Add marshmallows and stir until completely melted. Remove from heat
4. Add your cereal, and stir until well coated
5. Using a 2 Tbsp scoop, or just a heaping tablespoon, fill each muffin cup
evenly
6. Using a lightly greased spoon, or your lightly greased hands, press the
mixture down into each cup, and then push up the sides a little to create
your nest
7. Let the nests set/cool a bit before removing and finishing
8. Put some green buttercream into the nest (I used the Wilton tip 233), and
top with as many eggs as you can fit! : )

Marshmallow Wands

Ingredients/Supplies
* Lollipop sticks
* Large marshmallows
* Chocolate chips or melting chocolate (melting chocolate is easier to use
because it's thinner.....but it's also pretty disgusting, in my opinion. But,
use whatever you want!
* White chocolate chips*
* Food colouring*
* *You could use coloured chocolate melts in place of white chocolate chips and
food colouring
* Sprinkles, or any other decorations you want!

Method:
1. Start by sliding marshmallows onto your sticks. If you find it difficult,
cut a small slit onto one flat end of the mallow to help you out
2. Place parchment or wax paper out onto the counter or work space. Or onto a
baking sheet (I you'll need to move them while they set)
3. Once your marshmallows are all on sticks (I could really only fit 2 mallows
per stick), melt your chocolate either in the micro wave at 30
second intervals, stirring in between until smooth and creamy, or on low on
the stove (be careful with the stove-top method, you don't want your
chocolate to burn or seize!)
4. With the melted chocolate in a shallow dish, roll your marshmallows on a
stick around in the chocolate until coated. You can use a spoon to help, and
I also tipped the dish with chocolate so that it pooled and make it easier
to cover
5. Place coated wands onto wax paper to set
6. Now, I melted small batches of white chocolate, and once melted I added
whatever colour I wanted
7. Pouring the melted coloured chocolate into small ziploc bags, I cut the
corner off to create a tiny tip, and drizzled the coloured chocolate onto
the wands
8. While the drizzle is still wet, sprinkle with sprinkles, if using
9. Allow to set, then store in an airtight container

Ok, that's all for now!

Check out a post from last year of a delicious round-up of Easter Treats,
all no bake, and most gluten-free!

0 Comments

AUTISM & INDEPENDENCE

4/13/2017

0 Comments

In the post, Autism & The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, I
started to talk about the independence young people seek, and that is no
different for people on the autism spectrum.
Our son Caleb with autism is now 12, and he is wanting to be independent,
but still needs so much support. We want to offer him more freedoms, but find
this very difficult at times because his safety is a concern, as well as the
fact that with independence comes heartache, failure, and struggles, and as
parents we want to protect our kids from that.
We are not the kind of parents to coddle, but we have realized that we are
the kind of parents to micro-manage, for the sake of making life a little more
stream-lined. For instance, if I’m baking, I really prefer to do it on my own. I
like the order and tidiness in which I bake and prepare foods, and I like to
have my own space, and work in my own time. I also prefer to do things myself
like wash the dishes or sweep, because I can do it faster and better than the
kids. I know you’re reading this and thinking, “duh? Of course you can do dishes
and sweep better than a child!”, but the fact of the matter is, if I want my
children to grow up and know how to do these things…...it’s gotta start with me
teaching them!

A big part of being successful independently, is having the confidence that
you are capable of completing whatever job/task you’re doing. This is true for
my neuro-typical kids, but especially for my son with autism. If I expect him to
grow into adulthood with the basic skills to take care of himself, I’ve got to
let him do some things on his own!
Allowing independence to a child with special needs will look extremely
different for each individual dealing with it because of the many aspects of
autism there are to consider. For us, allowing liberties has looked simple to
the outside eye, but for us, and for Caleb, these have been big stepping stones.

In the past few years we've made an effort to create some independence by
providing simple choices for him to make. For instance, we've allowed him the
chance to choose his own clothes every day (we made this easier by cutting down
on the amount of clothes he has to choose from, and also keeping the clothes he
has fashionable and well fitting. We've also starting buy 2 types of gluten-free
cereal so that on cereal breakfast day, he can choose which cereal he wants.
We’ve also started letting him grab his own bowl, and the milk from the fridge.
We also have started letting him pour his own cereal and milk. With the
responsibility of getting your own bowl, cereal and milk, comes the natural jobs
of putting all those things where they belong when you’re finished!
These freedoms don’t sound like much, I know. But they’ve come slowly, and
naturally based on what we thought he was ready to do. I used to take the extra
time to get everyone’s bowls out, pour the cereal, and once the kids got dressed
and got downstairs, I would pour the milk for them. I didn’t mind this “extra
work” because I was used to it, and I was already in the kitchen getting lunches
into backpacks and starting up the day.
Honestly, I’m so stubborn about some things, and insisting on just doing it
myself to make life “easier”, that I was stunting the self-ruling growth of my
children. For me, something that has really helped is my 2 daughters. One is 8
years old (Abigail), and one is 7 years old (Keziah). Abigail naturally takes
steps into maturity because of the fact that she doesn’t have autism, and can
verbalize needs, wants, and desires more easily than Caleb.
She’s really the one who started making my husband and I look at what
freedoms we’d given Caleb, and the truth was, we’d hardly given him any!
Abigail started asking if she could “help me” get breakfast ready by getting
out the bowls & spoons, cereal & milk. Or by taking out the bread and toaster,
or grabbing the peanut butter and honey, yogurt, etc. She was eager to help
because she inherently knew what she was capable of, and was eager to test out
her new skills. It got me thinking about Caleb and how we’d kept him from doing
these sorts of things because, well, it was always just “easier” for us to do
it. This feeling was perpetuated initially because given the chance, Caleb would
dump cereal everywhere, or pour so much milk it overflowed onto him and he’d
have to get re-dressed for the day. He’d glop peanut butter onto the floor, and
somehow manage to get honey into one of his sisters’ hair. It was frustrating,
but important steps were being made toward him being successful at breakfast.
FYI, he still pours too much milk, but not to overflowing. As they say, there’s
no use crying over spilled milk (or peanut butter on the floor, or honey in
hair!)! The only thing to do was to clean up, and try again.
Since Caleb “mastered” cereal, we’re now letting him try spreading peanut
butter onto a banana, and have recently taught him how to cut an apple. This is
something he often insisted on, but stopping to cut an apple (which is a fruit
of choice in our house because it doesn’t need any special prep done to it!)
wasn’t ever in my plans for the day. So, we finally taught him how to do it
himself! We showed him several times how to hold the knife so that he didn’t
accidentally cut his fingers off, and eventually, he got it. It bothers me that
he sometimes leaves the hard “shell” that surrounds each seed from not cutting
away the core properly, but I’m not eating the apple, so I had to learn to let
it go (go ahead, sing the song from Disney’s Frozen…).
If our goal with Caleb (or any of our kids!) is that he grow into an adult
who is capable of taking care of (at least) his own daily needs, then it’s never
to early to start working on it. I want to know that he can shower (we’re still
working on this), get dressed, make himself something to eat, clean up after
himself, and get out the door on his own. His independence is something that
keeps coming back in conversation between my husband and I, and that keeps us
reading, asking questions, and laying awake in bed at night hoping we’re setting
Caleb up right.

Each day is different, so each day offers new chances to give or take away
freedoms. We thought we’d give Caleb the job of filling our outdoor wood stove.
He was given much instruction on it, and how it must be done safely and
properly, and although he was always doing this job safely, he wasn’t ever doing
it properly. The wood wouldn’t catch fire, and the temperature would slowly go
down, leaving our house freezing cold, and my husband or I would end up outside
trying to rebuild the fire after we realized it had gone completely out. So, we
talked with Caleb and told him that he wasn’t ready for that job, and instead
had him carry a few logs everyday over to the outdoor wood stove from the wood
pile. He was capable of the manual labour involved, but not of the skill and
understanding of fires to successfully fill the stove and have it catch. For the
most part though, we try to build on each new strength and liberty he is
finding. Part of doing this though is the give and take in jobs or tasks given.
So, with the stove, we thought maybe he could do it, but after giving him a fair
chance at doing it, it became clear he wasn’t ready for that job. But, instead
of my husband or I just throwing our hands up in frustration and saying “forget
it! I’ll just do this job!”, we re-thought the situation, and gave him a
different job within the same job frame. We also gave him a new job altogether
after the fire-building failure, and that is to feed the dog in the evening. So,
we changed one job, and gave him another that he is very capable of.

For a while last fall, Caleb kept going on about a push mower. I'm not at
all sure why, to be honest, but our wonderful neighbour heard about this, so he
gave Caleb a push mower! The neighbour had been given it as payment for a job,
but he didn't need it, and hadn't used it in the years that he'd owned it. Caleb
was over-the-moon excited! He'd get off the bus and immediately ask if he could
cut the grass. The answer, of course, was yes! We were proud of him for really
focusing, and he worked away in small patches everyday, and did a very good
job!
We haven’t got this all figured out yet at all! I don’t think we ever will.
Not giving up some of the jobs I was doing, and doing all the jobs myself was me
hiding from the fact that Caleb needed to start doing more for himself in order
to grow and gain confidence in who he was (and is) becoming as a young man.
Sometimes letting him spread his wings is messy. Ok, it’s often messy, but it’s
important.
Whether you have a child with special needs or not, ask yourself “am I giving
them enough of a chance to grow and mature?”. If you’re not sure where to start,
ask your child! If they are special needs, and not verbal, a good place to start
would be to check out the list below of age appropriate chores. Doing chores
creates independence, and builds confidence. Remember (but don't lament) that
your special needs child is likely not within their biological age range for
chores. Caleb is in the 7-10 age range, even though he's almost 13. That's ok.
Something is better than nothing when it comes to building independence. And you
can't build if you don't start!

There is a quote from a writer, Robert A. Heinlein, that says, “Do not
handicap your children by making their lives easy”. This quote is so ironic
here, as I am dealing with creating a life that is independent and fulfilling
for my son who is “handicapped” (don’t get all upset over my use of the word!
Handicap simply means that progress is slowed or difficult, or there is
something acting as an impediment). Making his life “easy” though by doing
everything for him will only act as a crutch as he gets older. He needs to
learn, struggle, adapt and take on the challenges in his life so that he can
live a confident life!

My Mom told me a story about a young man with autism who relied heavily on
his older sister to get him up in the morning, get his breakfast for him, pack
his lunch, and get him on the bus for school. The father worked, and was up too
early to be able to take on these tasks, so this sister became the one
responsible for making sure her younger brother got off to school everyday.

However, it happened one day that the sister, who was in high school, had
exams, and so she slept in because she had the day off school. Her brother
didn't though. When the Dad came home later in the morning, he found his
daughter sleeping, and his son gone.

He woke up his daughter in a panic asking where the boy had gone! The sister
realized she'd slept in, and had therefore forgotten to get her brother out the
door for school. The Dad, not knowing where to start looking for his son, called
the school to ask if they'd seen him at all.
"Of course!" the school told him, "he's been here, like usual". The Dad and
daughter couldn't believe it. This young man had gotten up in time, got his
lunch packed, got himself breakfast, and caught the bus to school. All on his
own.

Part of me goes, "ahhhhhh! He could have run away or been kidnapped!",
but then that part of my brain quiets and I think, "man, that kid was far more
capable than his Dad or sister knew!" It's not the Dad & sisters' "fault" at
all. As caregivers to special needs individuals, we have a fierce dedication to
life going well for them, but at what cost? What is the person missing out on
because we're doing it all for them?

Step out. Have faith in the person you care for. Know that them becoming
independent doesn't mean they don't need you, but that they need you more than
ever to teach them. Just getting through life isn't enough. Don't we want our
children to thrive, to feel confident and have purpose? Special needs or not,
building independence is a life goal, some people reach that stage on their own
naturally, and others need a boost.

Finding a balance between dependence and independence is hard, but it's an
essential life skill that can't be ignored. So, start today, start right now!
Look at the chore lists above, see what you gave give your child today to start
them on the path of independence.
I don't want it to sound like I'm preaching at you, I want to encourage you!
Independence is so important for feelings of self-worth and builds confidence in
our kids. Don't be afraid to give some things over to your special needs child
and see what they can do. You may be surprised!

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Hi, I'm Amy-Lyn!

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