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Skip to main content $2.50 $1 a week for one year. * Newsletter Story Saved To revisit this article, select My Account, then View saved stories Close Alert Close Sign In Subscribe Unlimited Access Welcome Offer: $2.50 $1 a week for one year, plus get a free tote. Subscribe Cancel anytime. Search Search * The Latest * News * Books & Culture * Fiction & Poetry * Humor & Cartoons * Magazine * Puzzles & Games * Video * Podcasts * Goings On * Festival Open Navigation Menu Menu Story Saved Find anything you save across the site in your account Close Alert Close Chevron Welcome OfferYour window to the world is open.See more for $2.50 $1 a week for one year. Plus, get a free tote. Cancel anytime.Get Digital Access Already a subscriber? Sign in You are reading your last free article. Subscribe for $2.50 $1 a week for one year. Cancel anytime.Get Digital Access Sketchbook OFFICIAL SURVEY BY THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF TODDLERS Why I took off my hat? Why my hat not on my head? And other important data points. By Liana Finck October 7, 2024 Save this storySave this story Save this storySave this story Published in the print edition of the October 14, 2024, issue, with the headline “Official Survey by the National Association of Toddlers.” NEW YORKER FAVORITES * In order to function properly, Democracy needs the loser. * What happens to all the stuff we return? * When the piano world got played. * The Vogue model who became a war photographer. * The age of Instagram face. * Shouts & Murmurs: Ayn Rand reviews children’s movies. Sign up for our daily newsletter to receive the best stories from The New Yorker. Liana Finck is a cartoonist and an illustrator who has contributed to The New Yorker since 2015. She was a 2023 Guggenheim Fellow and is the author of “How to Baby” and “You Broke It!” THE NEW YORKER’S NEWSLETTER Our biggest stories, handpicked for you each day. Sign up By signing up, you agree to our User Agreement and Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Read More Artist at Large Please Pardon My Language I was unfamiliar with the concept of profanity. By Angie Kang Poems “I Have No Word in English For” “Apachurrado. Hat run over by a truck. Heart run over by unrequited love.” By Sandra Cisneros Shouts & Murmurs Self-Care Products for the Disgruntled Adult A Brave Face Mask that is similar but definitely unrelated to Botox; a guide for how to unconditionally love the job you hate; and other helpful items. By Aleichia Celestina Williams Poems “I Nearly Died from the Socratic Method” “Unbeknownst, I picked a pretty / hemlock bouquet.” By Diane Seuss Unlimited Access Welcome Offer: $2.50 $1 a week for one year, plus get a free tote. Subscribe Cancel anytime. Welcome Offer: $2.50 $1 a week for one year, plus get a free tote. Subscribe Cancel anytime. Sections * News * Books & Culture * Fiction & Poetry * Humor & Cartoons * Magazine * Crossword * Video * Podcasts * Archive * Goings On More * Customer Care * Shop The New Yorker * Buy Covers and Cartoons * Condé Nast Store * Digital Access * Newsletters * Jigsaw Puzzle * RSS * About * Careers * Contact * F.A.Q. * Media Kit * Press * Accessibility Help * User Agreement * Privacy Policy * Your California Privacy Rights © 2024 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. The New Yorker may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. Ad Choices * Facebook * X * Snapchat * YouTube * Instagram Manage Preferences WE CARE ABOUT YOUR PRIVACY We and our 192 partners store and/or access information on a device, such as unique IDs in cookies to process personal data. You may accept or manage your choices by clicking below, including your right to object where legitimate interest is used, or at any time in the privacy policy page. These choices will be signaled to our partners and will not affect browsing data.More Information WE AND OUR PARTNERS PROCESS DATA TO PROVIDE: Use precise geolocation data. Actively scan device characteristics for identification. Store and/or access information on a device. Personalised advertising and content, advertising and content measurement, audience research and services development. List of Partners (vendors) I Accept Your Privacy Choices