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Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search * Art * Photography * Animals * Funny * Travel * Illustration * Comics * DIY * Parenting * Challenge * Ask Pandas * More * Other * Social Issues * People * Nature * Fashion * Food * Body Art * Entertainment * Weird * History * Design * Advertising * Recycling * Relationships * Movies & tv * Celebrities * Creepy * Beauty * Occasions * Vintage * Quotes * Climate * Recipes * Reviews * Contact * About Us * Jobs * Advertise * Privacy Policy * Newsletter * Get the App Get the App * Cookies * Art * Photography * Animals * Funny * More * Funny * Ask Pandas * Illustration * Parenting * Comics * DIY * Challenge * Other * Travel * Social Issues * People * Nature * Fashion * Food * Body Art * Entertainment * Weird * History * Design * Advertising * Recycling * Relationships * Movies & tv * Celebrities * Creepy * Beauty * Occasions * Vintage * Quotes * Climate * Recipes * Reviews * * Add post * Login / Register * Featured * Trending * Latest * Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Someone Asked, “What’s The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?”, 30 Women Delivered * Home * Partnership * Advertise * Success stories * Jobs * About us * Contact Home Advertise Success stories Challenges Jobs About us Contact 124points x Your submission is live now! Share your submission via social networks to gather votes. Facebook Pinterest Twitter View Submission People, Relationships3 days ago SOMEONE ASKED, “WHAT’S THE SCARIEST THING A MALE FRIEND HAS SAID TO YOU?”, 30 WOMEN DELIVERED Liucija Adomaite and Gabija Palšytė Publish Not your original work? Add source With so many years of equal rights progression, sadly, we still live in a largely male-dominated society. The dominance over women can be visible in virtually all walks of life, from your workplace to your family or friend circle. Speaking of which, you don’t ever have to be friends with toxic men, or men you don’t feel comfortable with, or women, for that matter. Listen, friends are people we decide to build a friendship with and there’s no obligation. So this eye-opening Reddit thread comes as a cold shower for any woman out there who realized they overestimated their male friend. “What's the scariest thing a male friend has said to you?” Redditor u/sedbiss asked on the Ask Women subreddit, which is home to a whopping 3.4 million members. The unsettling stories and genuine, yet very disturbing experiences women had with their male “friends” started coming in, and it makes you realize that some people don’t deserve to get close to you and get a friend tag. This post may include affiliate links. #1 I work in a male-dominated space and they consider me 'one of the boys,' aka they talk s**t without a filter, even when I'm around. The countless number of ugly comments made about women and the amount of pride they have in cheating on their partners is astounding. I remember one of them saying, 'We go for women in their early 20s because they don't know who they are yet, and they can't argue back. They're easier to train and mold.' He was dead serious, and I was disgusted. AlphaDog94 , Priscilla Du Preez Report 227points POST John Doe John Doe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago im a man.. and i wanna slap your coworker so hard 194 194points reply View More Replies... View more comments #2 We were about 15, and a friend told me that my 6 year old niece was "hot". Stopped having anything to do with him. About a year later he was arrested for molesting three girls whose combined age didn't add up to 18! That was in the 80's and he got 30 years. leowithataurus Report 224points POST Jihana Jihana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago "molesting three girls whose combined age didn't add up to 18" That's the most disturbing sentence I've read in a while. 241 241points reply View More Replies... View more comments #3 I knew this guy when I was in 10th grade, he was a senior. We were friends and I made the mistake of letting him walk me home. He showed up unannounced multiple times and said disgusting things the longer this went on. He said he wanted to “breed me so hard that my screams were heard by satan.” I hate him. Empty_Excitement_ , Toa Heftiba Report 199points POST Ansi Ansi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Now we do too. 🤮 157 157points reply View More Replies... View more comments Although it's hard to exactly pinpoint why some men act like entitled jerks and have the audacity to tell these things to women, the toxic behavior is partly if not largely blamed on them being insecure. In fact, men who are insecure about their masculinity showcases typical behavior. It manifests in some form of anxiety about a man being presented as a less masculine, more “vulnerable” version of himself. Such anxiety may be present if a man refuses to carry his girlfriend’s bag, or hesitates to hug his male friends in public. Psychologists believe that these men who aren’t secure in their masculinity are aware that their manhood is precarious and that they may, at any moment, lose manhood status in other people’s eyes. #4 He said, 'I honestly didn’t care about what he had done to you, I was just listening in the hope that you’d cheat on him with me.' Then I immediately rid him of my life. MissHagfish , Etienne Boulanger Report 187points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago What an absolute twatbasket. 115 115points reply View More Replies... View more comments #5 I said I was r**ped by my uncle and he said "Lucky uncle" amoonei , Baptista Ime James Report 184points POST Missy Missy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago That's f*****g repulsive 213 213points reply View more comments #6 In high school, i was SA’d by two male “friends.” This happened at a party in which no one did anything. I didn’t handle the aftermath well (who would) & i threw myself into more reckless decisions(partying, drugs, alcohol, hanging out w the wrong crowd). Anyways, I was at another party that one of my best (male) friends was throwing. I was really drunk & another one of my male friends said to the one throwing the party, “she’s in the perfect state for you to bring her upstairs now.” They had both been at the party I was SA’d at & the one that threw the party was actually the first person to ever ask me if what happened that night was consensual. It almost turned into this joke with everyone that if you got a couple drinks in me that there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do; everyone thought it was funny. I remember when those words left my “friends” mouth then watching the other one just nod, agree, & laugh. I was terrified. The one that threw the party had a crush on me & spent the whole night chasing me to try & apologize. It felt like a part of me split entirely that night when I realized that I was always just an object to the people I thought were my friends; that no one cared about what was done to me & they would do it again. I felt so helpless. It’s been five years since my first assault in high school - still don’t know what those two boys did that night & i don’t want to. beanloverz Report 162points POST Joonscrab Joonscrab Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago This is horrible. I hope you're much happier in life now. They are disgusting. 107 107points reply View more comments This belief can be understood as a byproduct of our society that spreads the belief of gender role norms, which are often sexist and imply that gender is a social status that has to be earned. A 2012 study has shed even more light on how masculine insecurity can predetermine men’s behavior. Scientists conducted an online survey that probed how the male participants perceived masculinity standards and how their own self-image fit in with this perception. The 600 male participants were asked whether they felt as masculine as the average guy or if they wished to be more macho. The survey also included information about the individual's substance use and violent behavior. #7 If you girls knew how guys talk about you when you can’t hear them, you wouldn’t go near us again. Yellowmellowbelly , Anna Vander Stel Report 159points POST V33333P V33333P Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Oh they know 112 112points reply View More Replies... View more comments #8 My male friend once told me that a lady cut him off on the highway, which pissed him off as anyone would be. But instead of just moving on from that, he followed her all the to her house and parked right outside her home so he could 'scare her.' He then laughed and said that she didn’t get out of the car until he drove away. I was f**king horrified when he told me all of this, and I went off on him. I told him how f**ked up it was and how she probably felt scared for her life. He did end up feeling bad about it and told me he was embarrassed and upset that he scared her, but it still doesn’t excuse what he did. spookydeebs , NeONBRAND Report 150points POST Sam Sam Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago At least this one seemed to have some shame and maaaaybeee learned something 100 100points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 When I was 17, a guy that I considered a good friend was mad that I rejected him, so he made a profile on an escort website and used my photos and all my personal info. He said it was just a joke. I called the police. u/International_Fee526 Report 139points POST Beeps Beeps Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago You were friends with Mark Zuckerberg? 61 61points reply View More Replies... View more comments The researchers found that the men with high discrepancy stress were more likely to be violent than the men who were not as concerned about their masculinity. The two groups, however, were not likely to differ significantly in their alcohol and drug use, the scientists said. They also found that these men characterized as having high gender role discrepancy and high discrepancy stress partook in assaults causing injury 348 percent more than men with low discrepancy stress. #10 Not a male 'friend' per se, but a male acquaintance said he enjoyed hurting women emotionally and, knowing they liked him, he could then take advantage of their feelings and do what he wanted. This is something most women are probably aware of, but it was shocking how unashamed he was in just saying it out loud. ParkAvePigeon , Sincerely Media Report 135points POST Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Sociopath 92 92points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 We were coming back from an event with another male friend, mid conversation he said “you’re actually gorgeous, surprised no one has r**ed you yet”. They both just laughed. Haven’t forgotten and won’t. herebutunknown Report 135points POST Ansi Ansi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago What a beautiful compliment 🤮🤮 (obviously sarcasm, that's discusting and vile) 78 78points reply View More Replies... View more comments #12 A gay, friendly coworker gave me a morning hug and then unhooked my bra. Naturally, I freaked and yelled at him and he just jokingly said, 'I like boys, it’s okay for me to do that!' It was a confusing way to feel violated, but I needed him to understand how disgusting that opinion was, so I made sure he saw me tell other people what happened. He responded the same way a few times until he realized how stupid he sounded. beenybaby87 Report 133points POST Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I would've grabbed him somewhere inappropriate and go "I like girls so it's okay for me to touch you there as I have no sexual intentions" and see how he likes it. 114 114points reply View More Replies... View more comments #13 I didn’t really know him that well and we were hanging out at a bar. I was about to go to the bathroom and he made a comment about spiking my drink while I was gone. He said it was 'just a joke' but that’s s**t's not funny. I took my drink to the bartender instead and never saw him again. WillingnessLeft3778 , Pawel Kadysz Report 124points POST Beeps Beeps Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Really, why do people do that??? I had a cat sitter once who kept joking about stealing my cats. Obviously never used her again. 74 74points reply View More Replies... View more comments #14 I told a friend about my sexual assault experience and immediately he said, 'See, that’s why you have to watch who you get involved with.' Basically saying that it’s my fault for not noticing the red flags. Thanks, my guy! I was the one who was assaulted, no need to turn this into an 'I am the wise one' moment. cosmicpussy69 , Priscilla Du Preez Report 121points POST Alexandra Nara Alexandra Nara Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago mansplaining assault is disturbing as hell. 107 107points reply View More Replies... View more comments #15 I used to work in specialized group homes for disabled and aggressive youth. I was 20 at the time and am a woman. My coworker always brought up topics that were horrifying and made me very uncomfortable, but the very worst one was when he said, 'All females have a r**e fantasy' We were alone at 11 p.m. while the kids in the house slept. I left THE MOMENT my shift was over and immediately requested to never be placed with him again. IsaacDcookie , Abigail Keenan Report 117points POST Hayhaypaula Hayhaypaula Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago And for any males that need clarification: NO WE DON'T! 134 134points reply View More Replies... View more comments #16 We had a friend's husband help my husband and I move. My husband went to make another trip to grab more of our things, so my friend's husband and I were alone. He said, 'Man, there’s no way that I would ever leave my wife alone with any of my friends' To this day, I still don’t know what to think about that. dottiel , Ismael Paramo Report 112points POST Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago That apparently he sees women as exotic animals you need to protect from poachers? 67 67points reply View More Replies... View more comments #17 I was roommates and friends with this guy for years. We were talking one night and he asked if I remembered the party we met at years before, and I said that I couldn't remember any details because I was super drunk. I actually had to be walked home by some kind acquaintances at the party that night. He said he knew, and that he was sober and trying to get me to come home with him, but I got pulled away by those acquaintances. I wanted to cry. This person who I considered a friend, who lived in the bedroom next to me, looked me in the eye and said that he wished he assaulted me. It's probably the worst and scariest thing anyone has ever said to me. honey_caramel , Alexander Popov Report 111points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I hope you left that apartment immediately and found somewhere else to live. That doesn't seem safe. 56 56points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18 When I was 19 I was out walking in the middle of the night with my two closest guy friends, one of them was quiet, shy, sweet. I had a crush on him. The other one was loud and sometimes annoying, . We were all high. They slowed down and I kept walking. We got to a field we went to all the time. Suddenly they both came up t behind me and the quiet one grabbed my hands and held them behind my back. The other one started putting his hands inside my shirt and pants. When I finally got free the quiet one who was holding my hands said "dude it felt like we were raping her." Those are words I'll never forget. As weird as it is, what he said effects more than what they did. I never in a million years thought I'd hear those words come out of his lips. Old-Pizza-3580 Report 109points POST Ansi Ansi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago (edited) It FELT, it FELT... ? I was assualt! 🤮 That's so horrible. Hope you have people in your life now that is better then that, and you can trust. 94 94points reply View More Replies... View more comments #19 About one of our other friends at a barbeque: 'I’ll make my move when she’s drunk enough.' I kept my friend and all other females away from him that night. queenofeverything_ , Toa Heftiba Report 102points POST Paul C. Paul C. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Was at a party one night and guy who I would call an acquaintance more than a friend sidled up to me and pointing to a female friend said "just a couple more drinks and she'll be ready for fun". I turned to him smiling and got close to his face and quietly said "if I see you within ten feet of her I'll put you through the nearest window". He left soon after. 107 107points reply View More Replies... View more comments #20 Not exactly a friend, but a buddy from my travel group, when we had an argument about having/not having kids: "If I could, I would imprison you and f**k you until you get pregnant". Apparently, in his mind i was insane for not wanting kids when i'm an "interesting person". penguin_parrot22 Report 100points POST Droopsnoot Droopsnoot Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Keep such dark fantasies to yourself and people you can talk to about such tgings, and even then, be very very careful 13 13points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 “That time you passed out drunk at the party, I fingered you.” He also proceeded to tell me how he only became ‘friends’ with me in the first place with the intention of sleeping with me and resorted to non-consensual touching when I didn’t accept his feelings. Real douchebag. Bigbootyomoletlover Report 99points POST Iggy Iggy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago That is sexual assault and is a matter for the police, if you can face it. 74 74points reply View More Replies... View more comments See Also on Bored Panda 50 Rare Photos That Reveal The Unseen Side Of Things (New Pics) The Opposite Of Design Fails: 50 Of The Most Brilliant Design Ideas That People Have Ever Shared In This Online Group (New Pics) #22 He commented saying my outfit made him want to take me to a dark corner and doing horrible things to me but he can’t because we’re friends and you don’t “do those things” to women you like. cherrytrashpanda Report 95points POST Micah Patchen Micah Patchen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago .....to women you like..... 114 114points reply View More Replies... View more comments #23 Multiple grown men had told me my entire childhood that I had 'amazing birthing hips.' Kokadison , Ryan Moreno Report 94points POST John Doe John Doe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago and they had amazing perv mind 70 70points reply View More Replies... View more comments #24 Don’t you ever get scared of being alone with me? sharazaad , Priscilla Du Preez Report 85points POST Sam Sam Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Well I do now 102 102points reply View more comments #25 One said something in a group chat saying he’d basically go pull some 'whale,' clearly meaning fat woman if he wanted to get laid. I, being a fat woman, called him on that, then told my friend who he’d clearly had a crush on and had been trying to get together with for a while. It's safe to say she never went out with him. paranoid-teeth , Natasha Hall Report 83points POST Iggy Iggy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Fair play to you for warning your friend. 43 43points reply View more comments #26 That he could tell by a woman's scent that she's on her period and whether or not she's a virgin. That was so creepy, I didn't ask for any further details. u/coffeeblossom , Project IDEA Report 83points POST Eva Eva Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago It's creepy and disgusting, but also total b******t 76 76points reply View More Replies... View more comments #27 I was in London with a big group of friends when I was a teenager, two of the boys came over to me and said "that guy over there offered to buy you for the weekend, we want you to pretend to be ok with it, and we will rob him" I was f**king horrified, I hardly knew the boys and this sounded terrifying to me, one of them started getting angry with me and saying I had to because he knew other girls men had tried to do this with, and they needed to learn a lesson. Still makes my blood run cold, I was 15 by the way. GemoftheDoon , Eric Ward Report 78points POST An Unpopular Opinion. An Unpopular Opinion. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago That's awful 27 27points reply View more comments #28 A male friend of three years wanted to move into a room that I was vacating. When my housemates chose the other potential renter instead of him, he turned on me, shouting and blaming me for the decision not going his way. His words were something along the lines of 'I should've stopped being friends with you a long time ago when I realized that you wouldn't have sex with me.' alicelilymoon , Slavcho Malezanov Report 75points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Why cannot men be friends with women? Why is it all about sex? I am a straight man, my friends are pretty much all women, and love them as friends. 93 93points reply View More Replies... View more comments #29 “If you wont kiss me I’ll jump off [region specific] bridge.” acidboytoy , Loïc Fürhoff Report 74points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Why the suicide threats? Why do incels thinks this would ever work? 80 80points reply View More Replies... View more comments #30 “I’m divorcing my wife for you” charlotte1255 , Fa Barboza Report 73points POST kathryn stretton kathryn stretton Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago No. You are divorcing your wife for you! 28 28points reply View More Replies... View more comments Note: this post originally had 104 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Twitter Render conversation Use html version Generate not embedded version Add watermark Instagram Show Image Only Hide Caption Crop Add watermark Facebook Add watermark Change Source Title Update Share on Facebook 124 Share Thanks for Sharing! Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox SIGN UP! 124points Share This Post Whatsapp Tumblr Email SMS Liucija Adomaite Liucija Adomaite Writer, BoredPanda staff Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. Read more » Gabija Palšytė Gabija Palšytė Author, BoredPanda staff Gabija is a photo editor assistant at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like 34 Times Guys Humiliated Themselves By Mansplaining Things To Skilled Individuals, As Shared By Women On Twitter Saulė Tolstych Woman On Twitter Belittles Men Who Order Fruity Or Mixed Drinks And 17 People Come To Teach Her A Lesson Monika Pašukonytė 30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men Justinas Keturka Popular on Bored Panda 50 Rare Photos That Reveal The Unseen Side Of Things (New Pics) The Opposite Of Design Fails: 50 Of The Most Brilliant Design Ideas That People Have Ever Shared In This Online Group (New Pics) People On This Group Are Sharing Examples Of 'Urban Hell' That Look Like A Dystopian Movie But Are Sadly Real (40 Pics) South Korea Is A Whole Different World, And These 50 Photos Are Here To Prove It 50 Pregnant Women Whose Day Is Going Worse Than Yours Is Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million People On This Group Are Sharing Examples Of 'Urban Hell' That Look Like A Dystopian Movie But Are Sadly Real (40 Pics) South Korea Is A Whole Different World, And These 50 Photos Are Here To Prove It 50 Pregnant Women Whose Day Is Going Worse Than Yours Is Leave a comment POST Q B F T Q B F T Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago A lot of these are involve guys who are nice to women as a payment for sex - and then whinge about being "friendzoned" when they don't get the return on investment they expect. If "friendzoning" is a thing, boys, then so is "fuckzoning", and you do that to too many girls, and I'd argue it's worse to discover someone's only interacting with you because they want what's between your legs than it is because they like you as a person. 35 35points reply Eppe Eppe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Huh, "friendzoning" and 'fuckzoning". Never thought about it but that's a fair comparison. 16 16points reply Load More Replies... Eppe Eppe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Altough 'romance zoning' should probably be added as a third option. 1 1point reply Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago It must be end-stage capitalist thinking, when men appear to believe that romantic relationships are based on barter conditions meant only for the trade of products. 6 6points reply Pas VotreAffaire Pas VotreAffaire Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Yes, in their eyes women are things into which you put 'niceness' and you get sex. Like a vending machine. It's chilling. 6 6points reply Tigerpacingthecage Tigerpacingthecage Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Yeah. And what's more sickening is that they think sex is something they do to women. Women have no active role in sex. It's only payment. Some even believe women really don't want to enjoy sex so them being "nice" is women's type of orgasm-ish. So women are even more seen as passive objects even in a sexual context. 0 0points reply Naesil Naesil Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago The term friendzoning has in my opinion changed over times, I feel like originally it was more like in person cat fishing, so getting favors and affection, stringing along just in case like a backup, and then use the I see you more as a brother when asked out. -2 -2points reply Q B F T Q B F T Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago That's a very male perspective, and casts the woman as pretty manipulative. Maybe that's true some of the time, but it doesn't ring true as being the case the majority of the time. 2 2points reply lenka lenka Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 20 hours ago The term friendzoning was designed to shame and guilt women for not having sex with 'nice guys'. It encourages men play a victim role for being 'manipulated and used' by women and is a pre-curser to incel mentality. 1 1point reply Christine Kuhn Christine Kuhn Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Let's be clear: in today's world there isn't a snowflake's chance in hell that these guys haven't heard that and why all this is unacceptable. They know. And they still do it. And their male friends let them. All the talk about 'teaching them about consent' - no. They know. They just don't care, neither do their enablers. 31 31points reply Liu Woods Liu Woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago While it’s definitely not a complete solution, we do genuinely need more education on consent. There have been studies where college students only admitted to r*pe when the definition, rather than the term itself, was used. We need to do a better job emphasizing what exactly is unacceptable and will result in severe consequences. Then we need to do a better job following up with consequences instead of letting it slide. 9 9points reply Load More Replies... Stella Stella Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago I literally had a guy tell me it's only rape when it's with violence, and this is an educated man from a progressive country. His generation has grown up with characters like Barney in How I Met Your Mother, who hilariously(/s) rape and assault tons of women, and is hailed a hero for it. Media depictions of rape are still only with brutal violence and let's be honest, many men don't have the need to think about this, cause they are at a muuuuch lower risk of being victimised. 0 0points reply F S F S Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago This falls in line with the different ways how rape is depicted in media. If a woman is raped, it’s somewhat romantic. Think about 50 shades, GOT or that movie, where a woman is held captive for 365 days by a mobster. If the rape of a man (by another man) is shown in a movie, it’s depicted how it actually is for EVERY victim: horrible, gruesome, and a never ending nightmare. Men (and women) have to learn that rape isn’t sex, but a sexualized violence. And most important: no one is entitled to sex. Imho this is the underlying reason for most of the aberrant behaviour described in this thread. 0 0points reply Celeste Grant Celeste Grant Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 hours ago My ex used to rape me when he didn't get his own way; so if his football team lost or he got a parking ticket. He also used to hit me for the same kinds of reasons. Rape isn't sex... its absolutely violence that happens to be sexual. Most rape victims know their attacker; stranger rapes are much rarer yet that's what the media tends to show. It means that victims don't report their attacks as they aren't sure they qualify if they happen in the home and not like what is shown in the media. 0 0points reply lenka lenka Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Every one of these is an example of the quote "Men are afraid women will embarrass them. Women are afraid men will rape and kill them". How the f**k can people (and yes mostly men) continue to be confronted with the reality women face every single day and still insist that we dont have a problem with men and male culture. 27 27points reply Load More Comments POST Q B F T Q B F T Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago A lot of these are involve guys who are nice to women as a payment for sex - and then whinge about being "friendzoned" when they don't get the return on investment they expect. If "friendzoning" is a thing, boys, then so is "fuckzoning", and you do that to too many girls, and I'd argue it's worse to discover someone's only interacting with you because they want what's between your legs than it is because they like you as a person. 35 35points reply Eppe Eppe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Huh, "friendzoning" and 'fuckzoning". Never thought about it but that's a fair comparison. 16 16points reply Load More Replies... Eppe Eppe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Altough 'romance zoning' should probably be added as a third option. 1 1point reply Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago It must be end-stage capitalist thinking, when men appear to believe that romantic relationships are based on barter conditions meant only for the trade of products. 6 6points reply Pas VotreAffaire Pas VotreAffaire Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Yes, in their eyes women are things into which you put 'niceness' and you get sex. Like a vending machine. It's chilling. 6 6points reply Tigerpacingthecage Tigerpacingthecage Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Yeah. And what's more sickening is that they think sex is something they do to women. Women have no active role in sex. It's only payment. Some even believe women really don't want to enjoy sex so them being "nice" is women's type of orgasm-ish. So women are even more seen as passive objects even in a sexual context. 0 0points reply Naesil Naesil Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago The term friendzoning has in my opinion changed over times, I feel like originally it was more like in person cat fishing, so getting favors and affection, stringing along just in case like a backup, and then use the I see you more as a brother when asked out. -2 -2points reply Q B F T Q B F T Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago That's a very male perspective, and casts the woman as pretty manipulative. Maybe that's true some of the time, but it doesn't ring true as being the case the majority of the time. 2 2points reply lenka lenka Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 20 hours ago The term friendzoning was designed to shame and guilt women for not having sex with 'nice guys'. It encourages men play a victim role for being 'manipulated and used' by women and is a pre-curser to incel mentality. 1 1point reply Christine Kuhn Christine Kuhn Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Let's be clear: in today's world there isn't a snowflake's chance in hell that these guys haven't heard that and why all this is unacceptable. They know. And they still do it. And their male friends let them. All the talk about 'teaching them about consent' - no. They know. They just don't care, neither do their enablers. 31 31points reply Liu Woods Liu Woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago While it’s definitely not a complete solution, we do genuinely need more education on consent. There have been studies where college students only admitted to r*pe when the definition, rather than the term itself, was used. We need to do a better job emphasizing what exactly is unacceptable and will result in severe consequences. Then we need to do a better job following up with consequences instead of letting it slide. 9 9points reply Load More Replies... Stella Stella Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago I literally had a guy tell me it's only rape when it's with violence, and this is an educated man from a progressive country. His generation has grown up with characters like Barney in How I Met Your Mother, who hilariously(/s) rape and assault tons of women, and is hailed a hero for it. Media depictions of rape are still only with brutal violence and let's be honest, many men don't have the need to think about this, cause they are at a muuuuch lower risk of being victimised. 0 0points reply F S F S Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago This falls in line with the different ways how rape is depicted in media. If a woman is raped, it’s somewhat romantic. Think about 50 shades, GOT or that movie, where a woman is held captive for 365 days by a mobster. If the rape of a man (by another man) is shown in a movie, it’s depicted how it actually is for EVERY victim: horrible, gruesome, and a never ending nightmare. Men (and women) have to learn that rape isn’t sex, but a sexualized violence. And most important: no one is entitled to sex. Imho this is the underlying reason for most of the aberrant behaviour described in this thread. 0 0points reply Celeste Grant Celeste Grant Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 hours ago My ex used to rape me when he didn't get his own way; so if his football team lost or he got a parking ticket. He also used to hit me for the same kinds of reasons. Rape isn't sex... its absolutely violence that happens to be sexual. Most rape victims know their attacker; stranger rapes are much rarer yet that's what the media tends to show. It means that victims don't report their attacks as they aren't sure they qualify if they happen in the home and not like what is shown in the media. 0 0points reply lenka lenka Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Every one of these is an example of the quote "Men are afraid women will embarrass them. Women are afraid men will rape and kill them". 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