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Skip to Main Content × MAIN MENU U.S. Edition 2024 ELECTIONS NEWS U.S. NewsWorld NewsBusinessEnvironmentHealthSocial JusticeCrime POLITICS CongressExtremism OPINION ENTERTAINMENT Culture & ArtsMediaCelebrityTV & FilmBooks LIFE Style & BeautyFood & DrinkParentingTravelWellnessRelationshipsMoneyHome & LivingWork/LifeShopping VOICES Black VoicesQueer VoicesLatino VoicesIndigenous VoicesAsian VoicesWomen's Voices HUFFPOST PERSONAL NEW: GAMES HOROSCOPES VIDEO FROM OUR PARTNERS Well Traveled NEWSLETTERS INTERNATIONAL U.S.U.K.EspañaFranceΕλλάδα (Greece)Italia日本 (Japan)한국 (Korea) FOLLOW US Terms | Privacy Policy Part of HuffPost Personal. ©2024 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. × WHAT'S HOT WIFE OF SLAIN UNITEDHEALTHCARE CEO SAYS HE'D BEEN RECEIVING THREATS UNITEDHEALTHCARE CEO FATALLY SHOT IN NEW YORK CITY DR. KELLY POWERS, FOX NEWS MEDICAL COMMENTATOR, DIES AT 45 TRUMP FIRES OFF 'SPECTACULARLY DUMB' 2-WORD POST ABOUT CANADA AFTER TRUDEAU JAB I MOVED TO EUROPE TO ESCAPE U.S. POLITICS. FOUR YEARS LATER, I'VE COME TO A TERRIFYING REALIZATION. JAMES CARVILLE CLAIMS 1 PERSON IS SECRETLY 'DRIVING' TRUMP'S SKETCHY NOMINATIONS BILL MAHER SAYS HE MAY QUIT ‘REAL TIME’ BECAUSE HE’S TIRED OF THIS 1 PERSON REPUBLICANS MIGHT SINK ONE OF TRUMP’S NOMINEES — AND IT WILL BE A BIG TEST RAHM EMANUEL MAKES DARK PREDICTION ABOUT WHAT TRUMP WILL DO TO THE OVAL OFFICE NOW THERE'S RESURFACED VIDEO OF PETE HEGSETH COMPLETELY TRASHING TRUMP MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE WANTS A ‘BLANKET PARDON’ AND EVERYONE HAS THE SAME QUESTION PETE HEGSETH'S MOM DEFENDS HIM ON TV, APPEALS DIRECTLY TO TRUMP, 'FEMALE SENATORS' Log InSupport Us 2024 ELECTIONSNEWSPOLITICSENTERTAINMENTLIFEPERSONALVOICESSHOPPINGGAMES U.S. EditionOpen editions submenu HuffPost Personalkamala harrisidentity I FELT DISCONNECTED FROM THE ELECTION. THEN KAMALA HARRIS ENTERED THE RACE — AND PART OF MY BRAIN WOKE UP. "If I think about the future for too long, I won’t get out of bed. The only thing I can control is this one decision." By Sumitra Mattai Guest Writer Jul 26, 2024, 07:57 AM EDT 111 COMMENTS United States Vice President Kamala Harris waves as she boards Air Force Two at Indianapolis International Airport in Indianapolis on July 24, 2024. KAMIL KRZACZYNSKI via Getty Images In the summer of 2020, during Kamala Harris’ run alongside Joe Biden for the White House, I read an article about how her family in India “helped shape her values.” As I learned about her seaside walks with her grandfather in Chennai and her doting aunties, I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. As a displaced child of the motherland several generations removed, there was no one I could call to break a coconut on my behalf, as Harris’ aunt once did for good luck before a California attorney general election. Now that she is officially running for president, her Indian relatives are no doubt breaking every coconut in sight. Advertisement However, despite Harris’ clear connection to the subcontinent, not all South Asians have been willing to claim her. “Her name is Kamala, but she’s not really Indian,” a friend told me with a slight sneer. The expression was a look I knew well. I had received it myself countless times from other South Asians when they found out I was not “really” Indian. Though you can’t tell at first glance, my family is from the former British colony of Guyana in South America. In the 1830s, after the abolition of African slavery, my ancestors were brought across the ocean to work as indentured laborers. Generations later, my parents left Guyana for North America, where we were constantly asked the question, “Where are you from?” Or, as the kids on the playground put it, “Are you a red dot or a feather?” Advertisement Sponsored Continue watching Finding the Happy in Solitude: Why Being Single Is a Good Thing The author in 1982. Courtesy of Sumitra Mattai For years, I answered with all the earnestness of a Montessori teacher handing a peace rose to a red-faced 5-year-old. Overstepping the boundaries of small talk, I took a deep breath and shared my story with every taxi driver and bodega cashier. Every eyebrow-threading technician and waiter. Every teacher, classmate and colleague. Each time, I watched their faces fall. Advertisement “But you look Indian,” they would always say, head cocked and eyes squinting, as though I had played a trick on them. I never knew how to respond to that comment. But now that I’m older, I’ve become more comfortable with disappointing people’s expectations. I no longer feel the need to prove my authenticity to everyone I meet. I can accept that I’ve been shaped by Guyanese, Indian and American cultures yet remain unclaimed by any one place, like that random poncho in a coat check after a party. These days, my answer to the question of where I’m from is simple. “I’m a New Yorker,” I say, and then put on my headphones. The author (left) and her mother at Kaieteur Falls in Guyana in 2005. Courtesy of Sumitra Mattai As though my background wasn’t complicated enough, I married someone of African heritage from the Bahamas. My kids’ origin story is even longer than my own, sure to confound future Uber drivers and real estate agents who dare to ask them that dreaded question. Advertisement In Guyana and throughout the Caribbean, the children of Indian and African couples were called “dougla,” a word that derives from Hindi meaning half-caste or mixed-blood. I learned the word after I had dougla children of my own. When I asked my mother if the term was derogatory, she said no, but the Oxford English Dictionary said otherwise. Being the daughter of a Jamaican father and an Indian mother, Harris, who identifies as Black and South Asian, fits the definition perfectly. I have often wondered if she’s ever been called dougla or was aware of its history. “Blindian,” the combination of “Black” and “Indian,” seems like a newer, less loaded term, but it also sounds more like a chai-flavored smoothie than a cultural identity. The reality is that there aren’t enough words to describe the multitude of mixed-race people. I hardly know what to call myself, let alone my kids. Are they Indo-Afro-Caribbean Americans? South Asian-Bahamian Americans? I’m waiting for the dated slurs and awkward hyphens to be replaced with a new language as dynamic as we need and deserve it to be. Until that time, I’ll take Harris. Whenever we spot her in the news, I’m excited to point out the connection to my kids, who were 6 and 2 when Harris was sworn in as vice president. The author's children looking at the eclipse in 2024. Courtesy of Sumitra Mattai “Look! Her papa is Black, and her mama is brown! Politicians — they’re just like us!” But they have only humored my enthusiasm. They have no gauge for just how momentous it is for someone in the White House to reflect our mixed-race family. Advertisement Ronald Reagan was president when I was born, then George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. Growing up, I never thought much of the job; until Barack Obama, presidents were consistently old, grumpy-faced white men (OK, maybe not Clinton), making decisions from a separate realm — one I could never imagine being a part of. This sense of disassociation followed me into adulthood. Though I am a naturalized citizen, I always had the feeling that I was a guest in the United States. As a minority — at times an unwanted one — I felt neither patriotic ownership nor an obligation to affect change. I voted every four years, but I avoided the news and the cycle of helplessness and rage it usually inspired. However, when I realized Harris was officially running for president, a dormant part of my brain woke up. This was a critical moment in American history, and it was time to pay attention. Regardless of how objective we pretend it is, politics is ultimately personal. We can say the choice is about the credentials and experience of a candidate, but it comes down to a kind of tribal instinct, perhaps now more than ever. We have no idea what awaits the next president. Another senseless war? An even more destructive pandemic? A meteorite crashing Coachella? In some ways, it feels like anything could happen. WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT Other news outlets have retreated behind paywalls. At HuffPost, we believe journalism should be free for everyone. Would you help us provide essential information to our readers during this critical time? We can't do it without you. Can't afford to contribute? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read. You've supported HuffPost before, and we'll be honest — we could use your help again. We view our mission to provide free, fair news as critically important in this crucial moment, and we can't do it without you. Whether you give once or many more times, we appreciate your contribution to keeping our journalism free for all. You've supported HuffPost before, and we'll be honest — we could use your help again. We view our mission to provide free, fair news as critically important in this crucial moment, and we can't do it without you. Whether you give just one more time or sign up again to contribute regularly, we appreciate you playing a part in keeping our journalism free for all. Support HuffPost Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages. The author in 2024. Courtesy of Sumitra Mattai If I think about the future for too long, I won’t get out of bed. The only thing I can control is this one decision. For me, Harris represents my children and the world I want to see them grow up in. Witnessing someone who shares their background on the world’s stage is powerful and validating. It’s something I never thought I would see in my lifetime — like rich people in outer space, but way better. Advertisement Sumitra Mattai is a writer and textile designer based in New York City. She holds a BFA in textile design from the Rhode Island School of Design and an MFA in creative writing from The New School. Her essays on family, food and culture have been published widely. For more information, please visit her website, sumitramattai.com, or find her on Instagram at @sumitramattai. Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch at pitch@huffpost.com. RELATED kamala harrisidentity I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE A 40-SOMETHING WOMAN FREAKING OUT ABOUT A DOLL BUT THIS ONE IS DIFFERENT I THOUGHT I KNEW MY MOM. THEN I FOUND A GRAINY POLAROID THAT FORCED ME TO RECONSIDER. I'M ENDING MY LIFE TODAY. HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW BEFORE I GO. Go to Homepage VIEW 111 COMMENTS Suggest a correction | Submit a tip Advertisement Skip Ads by FROM OUR PARTNER Continue watching Tips and Tricks on Staying Healthy During Travel Recommended by FROM OUR PARTNER Continue watching The World’s Most Amazing (Fake) Vacation Destinations Recommended by HUFFPOST SHOPPING'S BEST FINDS WE BET THESE NORDSTROM BLACK FRIDAY DEALS ARE GOING TO SELL LIKE HOTCAKES THIS INTERNET-FAMOUS COFFEE MAKER IS 41% OFF FOR CYBER MONDAY I'M DONE GATE-KEEPING THIS COMFORTABLE SHOE BRAND FOR YOUR HOLIDAY FOOTWEAR NEEDS 6 PRODUCTS TO HELP SOLVE THE KINDA PRIVATE PROBLEMS THAT OLDER ADULTS MIGHT HAVE 21 GIFTS FROM THIS UNIQUE RETAILER THAT ARE SPECIAL, GENIUS AND JUST PLAIN COOL Newsletter Sign Up MUST READS Look under the hood, and take a behind the scenes look at how longform journalism is made. Subscribe to Must Reads. Successfully Signed Up! Realness delivered to your inbox By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Close WHAT'S HOT SOCIAL MEDIA REACTS TO TRUMP PICKING PETER NAVARRO AS TOP TRADE ADVISER PEOPLE WANT JUSTICE AFTER THE TROUBLING DEATH OF A PASTOR’S WIFE PETE HEGSETH SAYS HE WILL 'NEVER BACK DOWN' AS TRUMP REPORTEDLY MULLS REPLACING HIM JIMMY FALLON SAYS BIDEN'S HUNTER PARDON WILL RUIN AN UNTHINKABLE POSSIBILITY MORE IN HUFFPOST PERSONAL I'M 82. HE'S 55. I NEVER IMAGINED DATING A MAN DECADES YOUNGER THAN ME WOULD BE LIKE THIS. I WAS THIS 'UNADOPTABLE' CAT'S LAST HOPE. I NEVER EXPECTED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WHEN I GAVE HIM A CHANCE. I HAD TO CHOOSE WHETHER TO END MY DAD'S LIFE. HERE'S HOW I MADE THAT UNTHINKABLE DECISION. I WAS ALWAYS A GOOD GIRL — THEN I MET A PUNK ROCKER WHO CHANGED MY LIFE MY FATHER HAS BEEN UNJUSTLY IMPRISONED HALF MY LIFE BECAUSE OF A LAW JOE BIDEN BACKED MY AUNT WAS FOUND DEAD IN HER HOME. MY SEARCH TO FIND OUT WHY LED ME TO A TRAGIC TRUTH. YES, YOU CAN CANCEL HOLIDAY PLANS WITH YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE OF POLITICS I'VE STARTED HANDING OUT 'FLOWERS FOR THE LIVING.' IT'S CHANGED MY LIFE IN BEAUTIFUL WAYS. I WAS EATING ALONE WHEN A MAN CAME UP AND SAID 4 WORDS THAT HAVE HAUNTED ME THROUGHOUT MY LIFE I WAS JUST A BARTENDER. THEN ONE OF MY REGULARS BEGAN POSTING SUGGESTIVE PHOTOS OF ME ONLINE. I HAVE BEEN LYING TO MY GROWN CHILDREN FOR YEARS. HERE'S WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY LIFE. MY DAUGHTER'S RARE DISEASE TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE WITH FEAR AND UNCERTAINTY. HERE'S WHAT I LEARNED. I WAS LIVING THE DREAM AS A PELOTON INSTRUCTOR. BEHIND THE SCENES, I WAS SUFFERING A FRIGHTENING MEDICAL MYSTERY. PEOPLE ASKED ME WHAT TO DO AFTER TRUMP WON. THIS IS WHAT I SAID 8 YEARS AGO — AND WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR NOW. MY MOM CLAIMED A CONVENT OF NUNS KEPT HER HIDDEN FROM THE NAZIS. LEARNING THE TRUTH CHANGED MY LIFE. MY OWN MOTHER ILLEGALLY IMMIGRATED TO THE U.S. THEN I BECAME A PROSECUTOR AT ICE. MY HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY VOTED FOR TRUMP — SO I'M CANCELING THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS I’M AN OB-GYN. I WAS FORCED TO TRAVEL OUT OF STATE TO END MY WANTED PREGNANCY. MY MOM SAID 1 WORD ON HER DEATHBED THAT MADE ME LOOK AT MY LIFE IN A WAY I NEVER HAD BEFORE PEOPLE SEND DEATH THREATS WHEN THEY FIND OUT ABOUT MY DOG MEAT FARM. HERE'S WHAT THEY'RE MISSING. I THOUGHT COMING OUT TO MY MOM WOULD BRING US CLOSER. THEN I RECEIVED SOMETHING SHOCKING IN THE MAIL. I WORKED IN A GENTLEMEN'S CLUB. HERE'S THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH MANY MARRIED WOMEN WON'T FACE. I WAS HAVING SEX WITH AN OLD HOOKUP. MIDWAY THROUGH, I DISCOVERED HE WAS A TRUMP SUPPORTER. WE LIVE IN A RED STATE. HERE'S WHY IT DOESN'T FEEL SAFE TO HAVE A SECOND CHILD. MY 14-YEAR-OLD MADE A DECISION THAT SHOULD HAVE DELIGHTED ME. INSTEAD, I FOUND MYSELF GRIEVING. WHEN MY HUSBAND DIED, I DID SOMETHING THAT MAY SHOCK AND DISTURB YOU. I HOPE THIS EXPLAINS WHY. I SUFFERED THROUGH AN EXCRUCIATING MEDICAL PROCEDURE. I WAS FURIOUS WHEN I DISCOVERED THE TRUTH ABOUT IT. I STARRED IN A HIT '80S FILM. FEW CAN BELIEVE THE WAY I WAS LIVING DAYS BEFORE I GOT CAST. DONALD TRUMP MADE A PLEDGE TO MY FAMILY. THERE'S JUST 1 BIG PROBLEM. I HAD AN ABORTION — AND DIDN'T REALIZE IT UNTIL SEVERAL WEEKS LATER MY FAMILY TAUGHT ME TO HIDE THE TRUTH ABOUT MY BROTHER. I WISH THEY HADN'T. MY 8-YEAR-OLD WAS SUFFERING FROM CANCER. TO KEEP HER ALIVE, I MADE AN UNTHINKABLE CHOICE. DONALD TRUMP REPORTEDLY CALLED KAMALA HARRIS THIS SHOCKING SLUR. IT DOESN'T MEAN WHAT HE THINKS IT DOES. AT 44, I'M STARTING TO BECOME INVISIBLE TO MEN. HERE'S WHAT I DIDN'T EXPECT TO FEEL. WHEN MY HUSBAND SURVIVED BRAIN CANCER, HIS DOCTOR MADE 1 SUGGESTION. IT ENDED UP CHANGING MY LIFE INSTEAD. I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AGGRESSIVE, INVASIVE BREAST CANCER. HERE'S WHY I FEEL SO LUCKY. IT TOOK ME 7 YEARS TO BURY MY HUSBAND. HERE'S WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT GRIEF DURING THAT TIME. MY DAD ALWAYS SAID THE METS WILL BREAK YOUR HEART. I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN LIKE THIS. MY SCHOOL BULLY TORTURED ME FOR YEARS. THEN HE DIED — AND I DIDN'T ANTICIPATE MY REACTION. AFTER 3 DECADES OF MARRIAGE, MY HUSBAND CHOSE TO MOVE OVERSEAS. WHAT HAPPENS TO US NOW? I HAD FOLLOWED ALL MY FAMILY'S RULES. THEN I COULDN'T FULFILL THEIR BIGGEST EXPECTATION — AND IT NEARLY BROKE ME. I TRADED MY SMARTPHONE FOR A FLIP PHONE FOR 100 DAYS. IT CHANGED MY LIFE. I TOOK MY FIRST WORK TRIP SINCE HAVING A BABY. I WAS SHOCKED BY THE 4-WORD QUESTION EVERYONE ASKED. DONALD TRUMP USES 1 WORD TO APPEAL TO FEMALE VOTERS. HERE'S WHY IT SHOULD SCARE YOU. I WAS ONE OF THE ONLY NONWHITE KIDS IN MY SCHOOL. HERE'S WHAT I WISH I COULD TELL MY YOUNGER SELF. I THOUGHT A MAGA BOT WAS TROLLING ME. THEN HE ASKED ME TO LUNCH — AND I WAS SURPRISED BY WHO SHOWED UP. I BARELY ESCAPED MY ABUSIVE MARRIAGE. IF JD VANCE HAD HIS WAY, I'D STILL BE TRAPPED THERE. THIS IS THE LAST DOG WE'LL EVER OWN. HERE'S WHAT HE'S TAUGHT ME ABOUT LOVE. I LOST MY FAMILY TO A TERRIFYING RELIGIOUS GROUP. NOW IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN — WITH TRUMP. I HAD MY DAUGHTER AT 16. I WAS SHOCKED BY THESE THINGS PEOPLE FELT COMFORTABLE SAYING TO ME. I WAS DEVASTATED WHEN THE LOVE OF MY LIFE DIED. THEN I STARTED SEEING SIGNS I COULDN'T EXPLAIN. I LEFT MY HOUSE INTENDING TO JUMP TO MY DEATH. THESE ARE THE WORDS I NEEDED TO HEAR BACK THEN. I WAS MEAN TO MY MOM FOR YEARS — UNTIL A CHANCE MEETING WITH A STRANGER CHANGED EVERYTHING AFTER WATCHING OUR TWINS DIE, OUR MARRIAGE ALMOST DIDN'T MAKE IT. HERE'S HOW WE FOUND OUR WAY BACK. MY FAMILY AND I WERE TRAPPED IN A FINANCIAL PRISON. THEN I RECEIVED A 6-WORD LETTER THAT CHANGED MY LIFE. I HAVE A TRANS 9-YEAR-OLD. I THOUGHT I KNEW WHAT IT'D BE LIKE TO PARENT HIM — BUT I WAS WRONG. MY IMMIGRANT FAMILY STOLE A GOOSE EGG FROM A PARK AND ATE IT. HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO CONSIDER. I SPENT YEARS FIGHTING FOR CONTROL. THEN MY SON NEARLY DIED IN CHILDBIRTH — AND I WAS FORCED TO FACE A PAINFUL TRUTH. MAKING EVEN THE SMALLEST MISTAKE FILLED ME WITH TERROR. THEN 2 LITTLE WORDS CHANGED MY LIFE. I SUFFER FROM THE MOST PAINFUL CONDITION KNOWN TO MEDICINE — AND MY LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE MY MOM SAID 7 CRYPTIC WORDS TO ME ON HER DEATHBED. HERE'S WHAT I FINALLY REALIZED AS I GOT CLOSER TO MY OWN. I LOST MY JOB AND NEEDED TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY. THIS IS HOW I BEAT THE CASINOS TO WIN NEARLY $1 MILLION. MY 21-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO LIVE THIS LONG. HERE'S HOW I KEEP US BOTH GOING. WE WERE ABOUT TO BECOME EMPTY NESTERS. THEN MY HUSBAND MADE A SHOCKING DECISION THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING. I'VE TRAVELED ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO ATTEND TRUMP RALLIES. HERE'S WHAT YOU WON'T SEE ON TV. I SUDDENLY FOUND MYSELF THE BREADWINNER IN OUR FAMILY. 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