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Blog
Recovery


CHALLENGING THE EATING DISORDER VOICE

April 28, 2023

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THE EATING DISORDER VOICE 

One of the most challenging parts of recovery is being able to separate yourself
from your eating disorder. Eating disorders can be all encompassing; blurring
the line between a person’s own sense of self and their eating disorder. It can
feel like you are your eating disorder. Many decisions are made to accommodate
an eating disorder, and it can be hard to know who you are without it because of
that. 

A perfect example of the enmeshment between person and eating disorder is the
commonly experienced “eating disorder voice.”  

The eating disorder voice is usually experienced in the form of second or third
person commentary about actions or future consequences regarding eating,
binging, compensatory behaviors (like purging or exercise), weight or shape.
Over time it becomes hard to separate one’s own motivations and desires from the
perpetuation of one’s eating disorder, and it can even change how you perceive
those around you. The eating disorder voice can present in a variety of ways
through: 

 * Bargaining: “If you go to the gym for 2 hours you can have a cookie after
   dinner.” 

 * Persuasion: “If you’re thinner, you’ll be more likeable.” 

 * Fear: “If you eat 100 more calories, you’ll gain weight.” 

 * Self-criticism: “You’re lazy. If you went to the gym an extra hour you’d look
   better in this outfit.” 

 * Warped perception: “Everyone is watching you while you eat.” 

 * Denial: “I don’t have an eating disorder, other people have it worse than
   me.” 


RECOGNIZING THE EATING DISORDER VOICE 

An important tool for recovery is the ability to recognize the eating disorder
voice and all the negative thought patterns that come with it. Before you’re
able to fight, talk over and eventually silence your eating disorder voice, you
first have to know what it sounds like so you can prioritize your true voice.
The eating disorder voice often occurs through cognitive distortions and
emotional reasoning. 

COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS 

Cognitive distortions are negative mental filters that impact how one sees
oneself and others.  

ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING 

Also referred to as polarized thinking or dichotomous thinking, all-or-nothing
thinking is a thought pattern built on extremes. Everything exists on one of two
sides, with no space in between. This makes one unable to see the world,
circumstances or even oneself as they truly exist: nuanced, complex and every
changing.  

OVERGENERALIZATION 

Overgeneralization is drawing conclusions based on a single incident or outcome.
It is based on the assumption that nothing will ever change and present
circumstances will always persist. If it happens once, it will always happen. 

CATASTROPHIZING 

Catastrophizing is blowing something out of proportion or believing that you are
in a much worse situation (or will soon be) than you actually are (or would
be). 

MAGNIFICATION AND MINIMIZATION 

Magnification and minimization go hand in hand. They occur when the importance
of insignificant events is exaggerated and the importance of something
significant is ignored. This frequently appears in the form of blowing small
failures out of proportion while ignoring positive achievements. 

COMPARISON 

Comparing is when you compare one part of yourself or your situation to
another’s, which you don’t know well, so that it makes you appear in a negative
light. 

EMOTIONAL REASONING 

Emotional reasoning is when one is so strongly influenced by their emotions that
they believe they indicate objective truth about a situation. Individuals
usually use a combination of different cognitive distortions to rationalize
their beliefs despite evidence to the contrary. 


FIGHTING THE EATING DISORDER VOICE 

Fighting the eating disorder voice is difficult, and it can take a while in
recovery before you’re able to completely ignore the eating disorder voice.
Until then, you can fight it by sticking to the facts, not giving in, building a
strong sense of self, identifying what you’re feeling and opting for a different
coping mechanism.  

STICK TO THE FACTS 

Before you get to the point of ignoring your eating disorder voice, try sticking
to the facts. Instead of believing your eating disorder voice and agreeing with
it, ask yourself if what it’s saying is true and be critical of it. 

Learning about subjects like nutrition and exercise can arm you with the
information to challenge your eating disorder voice directly: 

 * “That has too much fat, and fat is unhealthy.” – That’s not true, I know fats
   are an essential part of a balanced diet. They help me absorb vitamins and
   keep my heart healthy. 

 * “You can skip one more meal.” – No, I know I won’t be able to function at my
   best if I don’t eat. 

 * “Don’t be lazy. Keep exercising.” – I shouldn’t, if I keep going I won’t be
   able to keep performing at the same level. 

You can also look back on your relationships, accomplishments and behavior to
disprove your eating disorder voice: 

 * “Everyone here is probably judging what I’m eating right now.” – No, my
   friends have never spoken badly about how I eat or commented on what I’m
   eating. 

 * “We probably would have won our last game if I worked harder.” – That’s
   wrong. I tried my best and always commit to practice. Sometimes you just
   lose. 

DON’T GIVE IN 

The next step in fighting the eating disorder voice is to not give in to it. The
eating disorder voice has one motivation: to sustain the eating disorder.
Controlling disordered eating behaviors is the hardest part of eating disorder
recovery, partly because the eating disorder voice is quietly disparaging you
with thoughts like “You’ll gain weight if you eat that” or “You can go for a
run, there’s no one home.”  

By trying your best not to fall back on eating disorder behaviors, you’re
proving to yourself in real-time that you do not need to listen to the eating
disorder voice and nothing bad will happen if you don’t. Over time, it becomes
easier and is easier to see how wrong the eating disorder voice was all along. 

 * “No one will like you if you gain weight.” – It’s wrong, my friends love me
   regardless and they’re supportive of my recovery. 

 * “If you binge you’ll feel better.” – It’s wrong, there are other ways I can
   make myself feel better without bingeing or purging. 

BUILD A STRONG SENSE OF SELF 

Building a strong sense of self is another way to combat the eating disorder
voice. Without a strong sense of self, decision making and finding direction can
be difficult, and it can make one prone to people-pleasing and self-criticism.  

Having a strong sense of self allows you to separate the eating disorder voice
from your own and put yourself –your relationships, goals, priorities and
opportunities – before your eating disorder. It also allows you to identify when
an eating disorder may be interfering with your life and keep it in check. 

Begin cultivating a stronger sense of self by determining who you are: 

 * Who are you?  

 * How do you want to evolve?  

 * What brings you joy?  

 * What are your strengths and weaknesses?  

IDENTIFY YOUR FEELINGS 

The eating disorder voice can whisper things like “feeling fat” or “feeling
ugly” but those aren’t feelings. They are placeholders for what’s underneath.
Even though it’s illogical, feeling disappointed in a test score, lonely because
a friend cancelled or frustrated because you’re having a difficult time at work
can morph into “feeling ugly” or “feeling fat” at the end of the day and trigger
disordered eating. 

Instead of accepting what the eating disorder voice is saying, think about what
you’re feeling in the moment. Are you angry, frustrated, disappointed,
frustrated, hurt or lonely? It helps to maintain your sense of self-worth and
separates feelings about your body from feelings about circumstances or events
in your life, some of which you are unable to control. 

TURN TO ANOTHER COPING MECHANISM 

Just because the eating disorder voice is telling you to do or not do something
doesn’t mean you need to listen to it. Instead of restricting, binging, purging
or exercising, turn to another coping mechanism: 

 * Calling a friend 

 * Listening to music 

 * Bathing 

 * Playing with your pet 

 * Cleaning 

 * Yoga 

Or you can do the following any time, wherever you are: 

 * Short meditation exercises 

 * Breathing exercises 

 * Discreet fidget toys 

 

References 

1 How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions - Harvard Health 


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April 28, 2023


CHALLENGING THE EATING DISORDER VOICE

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March 30, 2023


EMBRACING NEW BEGINNINGS & COPING WITH CHANGE 

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January 31, 2023


SELF-ISOLATION TO SELF-LOVE: RELATIONSHIPS & EATING DISORDERS 

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December 22, 2022


SETTING REALISTIC EATING DISORDER RECOVERY GOALS 

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All Resources

ACUTE Earns Prestigious Center of Excellence Designation from Anthem
In 2018, the ACUTE Center for Eating Disorders & Severe Malnutrition at Denver
Health was honored by Anthem Health as a Center of Excellence for Medical
Treatment of Severe and Extreme Eating Disorders. ACUTE is the first medical
unit ever to achieve this designation in the field of eating disorders. It comes
after a rigorous review process.



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