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ENTOPIC RESIDENCY

So to cut a long story short, I was in a clean but tired coastal B&B for reasons
to do with travel and death, and engineered a few minutes alone in the room when
everyone else went down for breakfast.

The main reason I was fussing needlessly over my rucksack so everyone left me
behind like a hallucinating mountaineer way above the death zone was to get the
room to myself for a poo — the inability to poo in private being the main
drawback of today’s en suite bathroom trend — but then something else happened.

“I wonder what sort of batteries are in that remote control?” a small inner
voice said, an inner voice that now spends most of its time thinking about when
children last had anything to eat and went to the toilet and if there are
sausages in the fridge, rather than matters concerning AA and AAA power.

So off popped the suspiciously weak clasp (does everyone do this now? Are flat
screen TVs old already?) and into view came these two beauties:





Despite some initial focusing problems the Huawei P9 coped admirably with the
pre-dawn artificial light and aggressive carpet pattern, revealing a classic red
and black colourway and evocative italicised lettering. The limited time
available meant it was not possible to scrutinise the casings for spelling
mistakes, but the mind imagined scenarios involving the fire disposal and
insertion advice to be grammatically poor, over a hurried breakfast.

Perhaps if we are there again next year I’ll sneak the remote into the bathroom
for a more thorough examination, although chances are the cells will have been
long replaced by something from the local Asda by the time I next succumb to the
demand to go somewhere and do something.

Anyway, that was on Monday. Tuesday, well, that’s a whole other story.

19 Comments
December 14, 2016 by IDIOT :( in Batteries



“I KNOW I SHOULDN’T BUT I UNLOCKED THE BOOTLOADER!”



“Teeheeheeheeheehee!”



18 Comments
February 22, 2016 by IDIOT :( in Uncategorized



MODERN METAPHORS #1



Says something about sedentary lifestyles. Juxtapose with photo of seized bike
chain and rotting Wendy house. Leave comment below criticising throughput of
ports 11-16.



5 Comments
January 19, 2016 by IDIOT :( in Metaphors



GADGETS WITH FACES #242: MELITTA E950-103 CAFFEO SOLO

“Atishooooooooooooooooooo





oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
NOW PLACE CUP UNDER CREAM SPOUT TO REAR.”





“Around the world, around the wo-orld, around the world, around the wo-orld. ”




5 Comments
December 29, 2015 by IDIOT :( in Gadgets with FACES



GADGETS WITH FACES #241: SML-383 PORTABLE CD-G KARAOKE PLAYER

Featuring the same sort of infinite volume red-faced scream as that made by its
users. Open and close disc tray = realistic vomiting action.



6 Comments
December 18, 2015 by IDIOT :( in Gadgets with FACES



GADGETS WITH SMALL BUT PERFECTLY FORMED EXTERNAL GENI



Actually, never mind.



11 Comments
December 11, 2015 by IDIOT :( in Gadgets with FACES



GADGETS WITH FACES AND EVEN ARMS AND STUFF #240: SINGING MACHINE ISM1030BT



Could deliver the nearest thing any of us get to a cuddle this Christmas, plus
with a bit of effort and some leftover turkey it might be possible to do pretend
sex to hole #5 of the speakers. The bass throb could be “her” heart beat.



FOUND:
Here.

8 Comments
December 10, 2015 by IDIOT :( in Gadgets with FACES



“I PUT SOME OF MY OWN MUSIC ON HERE, I HOPE YOU DON’T…”

FACTORY RESET.

4 Comments
May 12, 2015 by IDIOT :( in Promotional photography



GADGETS WITH FACES #239: JANTAR ALARM CLOCK

“I honestly don’t think I can get out of bed today and start doing all the same
things that I did yesterday again. And it’s still cold. Why won’t it be spring?
I’ll stay in bed until spring. Work won’t mind. They owe me for covering for
Jenny last winter when she was off for four months with SAD.”



The Acctim Mini Bell also has a nice sad backside, complete with diseased spots
and assorted warts.

3 Comments
March 3, 2015 by IDIOT :( in Gadgets with FACES



“DAD, YOU PUT YOUR TROUSERS IN THE FRIDGE AGAIN”

“Simon and I have been thinking. We think it’s time you moved in with one of us.
You can still have your independence and bring your televisions with you, we
just really think it’s time. What if you’d put your trousers in the oven, dad?”

2 Comments
February 24, 2015 by IDIOT :( in Promotional photography



« OLDER POSTS




Battery feeling strangely demoralised. Shutting down.

 * 


 * HE SAID, SHE* SAID
   
   * Competition time! (12)
     * Porto Hello blogger, its all the same. How many can you deliver? Kind
       regards Porto –
   * Gadgets with FACES #239: JANTAR Alarm Clock (3)
     * GigerPunk I got one of these traditional style alarm clocks once,
       figuring the double-bell action would be loud enough... –
   * "I know I shouldn't but I unlocked the bootloader!" (18)
     * kys –
   * Entopic Residency (19)
     * Prison Hardman He'll post something entirely different next time,
       POSSIBLY an alarm with a sad face, pretending he never alluded... –


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