greg.guevara.angelfire.com Open in urlscan Pro
209.202.252.41  Public Scan

Form analysis
0 forms found in the DOM

Text Content

  
Scientists First Thought They Were Statues Sponsored: Investing Magazine Read
Next Story 
See What Personalised Content We Have Based on Your Browsing History Sponsored:
DiscoveryFeed Read Next Story 
Aktienvorstellung: Elektrische Revolution im Nutzfahrzeugmarkt Sponsored:
market-observer.com Read Next Story 
Beginnende Erkältung? Sponsored: Imupret® N Read Next Story 
Dieses Spiel sieht so real aus, dass es sich lohnt, es allein deshalb zu
spielen! Sponsored: Game of Thrones Read Next Story 


 


WE WON, AND






 BY A LOT


























































twitter.        instagram.







 



When elected, I am going nationalize Ottawa. I am going to build a big wall
around Ottawa called the Ottawall. We will separate from the rest of Canada. It
will be called “Ottawexit” and everyone will love it. Quebec will love it. The
western provinces will love it. But most of all Ottawans will love it.




WHY SEPERATE OTTAWA FROM CANADA?




The western provinces do nothing but complain complain complain about Ottawa.
Same goes for Quebec. I say, let ‘em govern themselves.




NATIONAL IDENTITY




All good nations have a strong national identity. When elected, we will double
down on all the things Ottawa.




Everybody will be given a government job. Each government job will only have a
purpose in relation to other government jobs. The PQQQ will write for the MOKK
who will manage the PBTU who will mediate for the PQQQ. Unemployment will drop
to zero. 




This is will be called our



or UBGJ. Think of it like a UBI, but you need to pretend to shuffle papers
around for an hour. Very little will get done, so don't worry about the
workload. When we finally complete projects, we'll scrap them entirely because
they're outdated and don't fit with our vision.




NATIONAL ANTHEM




We’ll also have a national anthem that goes like this:




We love the government

We love our giant wall

We don’t take risks

No we take none at all!




Ottawa! Ottawa!

SSC and DND!

Ottawa! Ottawa!

CRA, RCMP!




Ottawa! Ottawa!

FAC and IRCC

Ottawa! Ottawa!

TBS and GAC!




OFFICIAL LANGUAGE




A post-Ottawexit national language will embrace bilingualism: everyone will
speak either GS or Frenglish. 




GS (Government Speak for long, or Govspk for middle) simply requires you to
speak only in abbreviations. For example, that last sentence would be pronounced
"G(GSFLOGFM)SRYTSOIA." IPETFOOYGTHOI (it's pretty easy to figure out once you've
got the hang of it).




If les personnes prefer, ils may also speakent Frenglish--that is, they may
parle French in a strained Anglais accent, or English in a strained accent
Français. Bien sure, why not!






COMMERCE




Once we’re nationalized we can completely control our own currency. This means
we don't have to worry about debt or anything, I assume. 




To reinforce our national identity all international chains and business will
have to rebrand to be Ottawa friendly. Some examples include:

 

 - Ottawendy’s

 - McOttawa’s

 - Ottawalmart

 - Ottaloblaws




Local business are acceptable as they are.




We will decrease focus on exports, as we do not want to influence our currency
by participating in a globalized economy. We will however maintain one primary
export: government. 




MILITIRIZATION




Once fully nationalized, we will happily Ottawannex any willing neighbouring
municipalities. If Gatineau wants to be Ottawa, they can be! The end goal is to
eventually annex all of Canada, with Ottawa as its new capital.






MAYORAL RESIDENCE




I will relocate the mayoral residence to the bell tower atop Parliament. Every
morning at 9 AM I will come out ring the bell and wave at everybody ☺️




DO YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DO THIS?




No. However, my first act as mayor will give me the power to do it. So I reckon
that’ll work out.




Also I’m personal friends with Doug Ford and he’s giving the Ottawa mayor more
power in preparation for my victory. So let’s just say I’ve got friends in high
places.




WHAT ARE YOUR OTHER POLICIES?




Look, I just want to build a big wall around Ottawa. Once we get that built a
really feel like everything else is just gonna kinda click into place around it.






CAN ANYONE GET IN?




No.




CAN ANYONE GET OUT?




Look, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Which is to say we might have
to take down all the bridges leading into other municipalities.




THIS SOUNDS A LOT LIKE NORTH KOREA




And?????






THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT?




No. If elected the first thing I am going do is spend as much money as I need
to, go into as much debt as I need to, print as much money as I need to, do
whatever it takes in order to build a big wall around Ottawa.




Some people are going to read all of this and still think I’m joking. I’m not
joking. This is your warning. When I win, I am going to do this and you don’t
get to be surprised about it.




WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?




I am severely mentally ill.




WHY SHOULD YOU VOTE GREG GUEVARA THIS ELECTION




 * Because you want an Ottawall
 * The thought of having an Ottawall excites you
 * If you see me on the street and say you voted for me I will give you a
   handshake and/or fistbump (your choice)

CONTACT




To get in contact with the campaign or to donate email jreg4mayor@gmail.com




Page Views: 3344110




 






This is your sidebar. The sidebar is a handy place for secondary information
such as contact information. Replace this text with words of your own.













 






This is your footer. You can delete this text and add in your own, drop media
and other add-ons here.





 
Message Box