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 * About Robert Odell
   * Clinical Style
     * Relational/Sexual Therapy
     * Kink, ENM and Authority Transfer
   * Licensure & Continuing Education
 * Diverse clientele
   * Relationships
   * Individuals
   * Kink-identified people
   * Non-monogamous people
   * Critical Incidents
 * FAQs
 * Resource Links
 * Blog

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 * About Robert Odell
   * Clinical Style
     * Relational/Sexual Therapy
     * Kink, ENM and Authority Transfer
   * Licensure & Continuing Education
 * Diverse clientele
   * Relationships
   * Individuals
   * Kink-identified people
   * Non-monogamous people
   * Critical Incidents
 * FAQs
 * Resource Links
 * Blog

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Intake Form
Contact


COUNSELING AND THERAPY
FOR NON-MONOGAMOUS & KINK-IDENTIFIED INDIVIDUALS

This site introduces you to my psychotherapy practice with clients who identify
as kinky, in non-monogamous or authority transfer relationships. You’ll find
in-depth personal & professional information, a blog and links to therapy
publications & research.  It’s designed to help you select the best licensed
mental health professional to work with. It’s also meant to inform you about
different ways I think about – and work with – my clients and their concerns. 

If after review you want to seek an appointment, please complete the
non-clinical Intake Form. Click the button at the top of this or any other site
page to open the form. Completing it takes about 15 mins. 

 After I receive it, we will schedule a phone call to see whether your reasons
for beginning this work fit well with my specializations. I can answer questions
about what you’ve read here, and set a first appointment.


I ACCEPT NON-MONOGAMOUS, KINK-IDENTIFIED OR AUTHORITY TRANSFER CLIENTS ONLY.
PRACTICE ACCEPTING NEW CLIENTS AS OF FEB. 19 2024


COMMITMENTS TO THIS WORK


COLLABORATIVE ALLIANCE

The therapeutic relationship is a collaborative alliance where we work together
towards your goals. I develop it using curiosity – and never judgment. My
curiosity can help activate yours, and I believe that process activates much of
what’s “therapeutic”.


ACCURATE PICTURE

I seek to develop an accurate picture about you, understand the problems you
present and effectively address them with you. I ask questions about your life
experience and background, and map how you affect those close to you.


OUR RELATIONSHIP

Our relationship should help you better understand your feelings, stimulate your
thinking, connect with your body, expand your choices and see your overall
progress.  Success is usually about how you organize or integrate your thoughts,
emotions, body sense and behavioral choices. 


KINK & ENM PROFICIENCY

Learning about your erotic, sexual and relational life is important for my
understanding your sense of self.  Over 22 years of service and education have
guided me to be proficient in serving kink-identified, authority transfer
and non-monogamous (ENM) clientele.


TRAUMA INFORMED

Traumatic events can be deeply disorganizing & disorienting to a clear sense of
self. Therapy reconstructs a clearer self, reorganizing the parts of personality
that make up a whole person.


CLIENT DIVERSITY

I have long welcomed the greatest possible diversity of clients into my
practice. This includes racial, cultural, gender, sexual identities, body types
and a wide range of relationships. 


ACCOUNTABILITY

I am accountable to your feedback about our relationship, including any
experience of racism or prejudice you believe you’ve experienced.




HOW TO MAKE A
FIRST APPOINTMENT

Click below to send me the secure, non-clinical Intake Form. Once received, I’ll
set a phone appointment with you to learn about the therapy you are seeking,
answer questions you have (based on your review of this site) and see if we
should make an appointment.

Fill out Intake Form (15 mins.)

First appointment secured with credit or debit account. See FAQ

My services are delivered in a “hybrid” model: onsite in my Eastlake Ave.
office, and online (providing access for distant clients.) View online therapy
guidelines.

For kink-identified clients, I provide a separate disclosure statement. View
disclosure to kink-identified clients

Hours & Offices

Hours: 3:00P – 5:00P (last appt time.) Appointments are 50 mins. or 80+ minutes
(preferred for relationships.)

Onsite:

Areis Building, 2366 Eastlake Ave. E., #221  Seattle WA 98102

Online: 

Google Meet

Fees:

See Intake Form

Health Insurance

In-network with several health insurance carriers. See Intake Form for details.

Questions? Visit my FAQ or Contact Me. I reply within one business day.

Relationship therapy is often the best individual therapy you can get.





Integrity, ethics, consent, transparency & decency should govern kink play as
insurance against its risks.





Therapists' cultural knowledge & specialization are important but secondary to
seasoned clinical and collaborative skills.





Important as clinical theory is, change happens within the personal therapeutic
relationship - not the theoretical one.





Shame can be paralytic in silent ways, suppressing growth. We can shine a light
on it, and take away the paralysis.





Anger is not an emotion. It's an affect - the visible/audible"wrapper' for
different emotions such as fear, frustration, betrayal, confusion, shame, etc.





20th Century Western culture gradually added ‘sexual satisfaction' to monogamy's
"basic requirements." Non-monogamy pushes back on that. 





Desire and commitment in relationships stem from different parts of the brain -
and the self.





Eroticism, sexuality and relational life - at any level - express the essential
self.





Relationships, even instant ones, need a certain amount or kind of warmth. Yet
adding more warmth does not build, create or renew heat.





You can have "expectations" of your partners, but they're little more than
projections onto them. Explicit agreements are what build relationships. 





Understand/embrace conflict - clear, calm statements about self are what drive
relationships forward with fewer arguments/fights.





Regression is not bad or shameful thing - it's part of learning. If we don't
address here-and-now problems, we regress to 'old tape' responses - until we
grow.





Progress can be measured when you see new choices in how to think, feel or take
action - with a better developed sense of self.





Psychotherapy mixes support and challenge. "Fit" is when therapist and client
agree on the mix. That takes more than a phone call or a first appointment.





Relationship agreements are labor-intensive. When they are absent, you are
practicing relational privilege - when you assume things about your partner(s).





Referring to beginning a sexual experience, I use the verb “invite” rather than
“initiate”. That's easier to understand and you can practice the art of
seduction.





Shame lies between productive and paralytic. For wrongful acts, some shame is
productive. When it becomes an ongoing indictment, you get paralysis.





Evidence indicates that monogamous & non-monogamous relationship satisfaction
levels are about the same. Transitioning between the two is not simple or easy.





Libido is a Freudian theory with no scientific definition or data. Yet it's
assumed to define desire and that "more" is better/normal. How then to
understand demi- and asexuality?





Clients often say they feel guilty about something. It's frequently about them
taking responsibility that's either displaced or misplaced- not about true
violations.





Seeing differences in a relationship's sexual desire is fine. The bigger
question is who partners really want to be and what they are willing to do. 





Kink "aware" or "friendly" for healthcare professionals is insufficient.
"Proficient" is based on extensive education & experience is defines expertise.





Regarding kink life, consider this: "Not a Top, not a bottom. Not a Master or a
slave. Not a whip connoisseur. Not a fister. Not a masochist. Not a protocol
hardass. First, be a human being."





I began building my knowledge of kink over 20 years to bring the fullest
possible spectrum of understanding human sexual behaviors.





Consensual/Ethical Non-Monogamy: “Consensual” = informed consent. It includes
transparency, self-disclosure - and privacy. “Ethical” = decency:  mindfulness
of your effect on others





Psychotherapy requires the therapist to listen - deeply of course. The key for
therapists is to then think differently than clients, but strictly for their
benefit.





Post-traumatic symptoms reveal an unfortunate truth about the close relationship
between the mind and the body. 





I've learned over the years that relationships built on dependence eventually
but invariably degrade into hostility.





Partners often talk about relationship expectations. They're only half of what
really matters: agreements. Expectations are half-baked (and often half-assed)
things.





I often receive apologies from clients when they openly show true feelings. I
decline the apologies and invite clients to their rightful process.





I spent years working in intensive psychiatric settings so that I could learn
diagnosis well - and -understand its limitations in the therapy relationship.





Immunity applies to microbiology - and to emotional life. Emotional immunity is
what allows you to choose your feelings, free from others' contagious emotions
and power plays.





Polyamory is only one form of non-monogamy. 





Whatever "relationship anarchy" is (or whatever you think it is), it's a poor
way of identifying or describing freedom of choice in an adult relationship.








Robert Odell, LICSW
 * About Robert Odell
 * Contact Robert Odell LICSW

 * About Robert Odell
 * Contact Robert Odell LICSW

Twitter Blog
Who I Work With
 * Relationships
 * Individuals
 * Kink-identified people
 * Non-monogamous people
 * Critical Incidents

 * Relationships
 * Individuals
 * Kink-identified people
 * Non-monogamous people
 * Critical Incidents

Resources
 * Resource Links
 * Blog
 * FAQs
 * Terms & Conditions
 * Privacy Policy

 * Resource Links
 * Blog
 * FAQs
 * Terms & Conditions
 * Privacy Policy

Hours

By Appointment Only
Onsite: Tuesday & Thursday
Online: Monday & Friday

©2021 Robert Odell. All rights reserved.