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AT THIS POINT, THE SOUP IS UNDER CONTROL.


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POTENTIALLY PROBLEMATIC, BUT TECHNICALLY POSSIBLE.


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BUT THEY ONLY DO HARDCORE PEIRCINGS, NO STUDS. SO I WENT TO CLAIRE'S


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NO MATTER WHERE YOU PUT IT, IT KEEPS MAKING MAPS.


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SORRY FOR BEING LATE, I GOT CAUGHT IN A FAX MACHINE.


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DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS, I LEARNED THAT FROM GHOSTBUSTERS.


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I LIKE SUCKING ON IT.


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DON'T PERPETUATE THE STUPIDITY.


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I CAN EAT IT OFF OF THE DESK WITH MY MOUTH, IF YOU PREFER.


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YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT AVOCADOS ARE, RIGHT? UNICORN EGGS.


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IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE YOU SLID IT IN.


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THERE'S NOT ENOUGH ROOM, I CAN'T FIT; I CAN ONLY GIVE ABOUT 10 INCHES.


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I WAS THE BOTTOM, THERE WAS NOWHERE ELSE FOR IT TO GO


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THE AMISH ARE COMING.


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I'LL GO IN THE BACK BECAUSE I CAN'T FIT IN THE FRONT.


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YOU MEAN G AS IN JOSE'?


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ACCORDING TO MY OWN MONITORING, BILLIONS OF PERSONS ALL OVER THE WORLD RECEIVE
THE PERSONAL LOANS FROM DIFFERENT BANKS. THEREFORE, THERE'S GREAT POSSIBILITIES
TO RECEIVE A SMALL BUSINESS LOAN IN ANY COUNTRY.


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HE MUST HAVE BEEN A DRUG DEALER! HE HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME.


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I NEED TO GET SOME WORK DONE.


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IT'S NEVER OKAYTO DRUG A BABY.


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I HAVE TO PISS SO BAD THAT I CANT PISS.


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MY BONER RENDERED YOU SPEECHLESS.


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CRACK! ...OH GOD! I CAN'T USE THAT AS A JOKE ANYMORE, CAN I? SORRY! BUT
SERIOUSLY, I'M SOBER.


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STOP POKING EACH OTHER!" "THAT'S WHAT THE PRISON GUARD SAID.


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DIY Fail



 * WHAT IS THE MOST HARDEST MATH KNOWN TO MAN KIND?
   
   1+1=?
   
   
   via: Anti Joke


 * B:WANNA GO OUT SOMETIME?
   G:I'LL GO OUT NOW AND GET AWAY FROM YOU.
   
   
   
   via: Anti-Pickup Line


 * DESCRIBING THE LAMBORGHINI GALLARDO SPYDER'S SOUND:
   
   IT'S LIKE LISTENING TO THE CIRQUE DU SOLEIL BEING CHOPPED UP BY THEIR OWN
   CHAINSAWS.
   
   
   via: Clarksonisms

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