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Peggers can be choosers


9 BEST DILDOS FOR SOLO AND PARTNER PLAY, ACCORDING TO EXPERTS

Whether you want a sparkly little starter toy or a big, ballsy one for butt
play.

By Malia Griggs

May 15, 2023

Courtesy of the brands / Wesley Hall



If you search for dildos online, you’ll find an endless scroll of phalluses of
all textures and sizes. Sure, you could buy the first one that pops up, but
we’re here to help you be a more discerning shopper. We spoke to sex experts and
educators to help you pick one that’s actually worth your time (and dollars).

A dildo is basically a penis-shaped sex toy that can be inserted or used to
stimulate the vagina or anus. If you’re a beginner to sex toys, you might be
tempted to reach for vibrators, but experts actually recommend dildos as an
excellent sex toy for those starting out too. “The primary benefit is that they
give you more options for solo pleasure, pleasure with a partner, and total
control,” Heather Shannon, LCPC, a certified sex therapist and host of the
podcast Ask a Sex Therapist, tells SELF. Many can hook into strap-on harnesses
so you can go hands-free with your partner, and if it’s just you, a dildo is a
great way to enjoy penetration on your own.

“Dildos are so much more versatile than they get credit for,” Shadeen Francis,
LMFT, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, tells SELF. “They can be phallic or
fantastical [in shape], solid or flexible, and can come in every length, girth,
and degree of curve.” Many are portable and don’t need batteries, while others
vibrate and thrust. Some can suction onto shower walls, some have hollowed-out
insides that cradle bullet vibrators, and some even have dual ends (or two heads
facing the same direction, for double the penetration).


WHAT SHOULD YOU CONSIDER WHEN SHOPPING FOR A DILDO?

First, figure out how you want to use the dildo. If you’re curious to try anal
sex or pegging for the first time, choose a dildo that has a shorter, slimmer
insertable length to adjust to the sensation, Shannon says. To experiment more
with feeling stretched or full, opt for a dildo that’s on the longer, girthier
side.

Next, decide how realistic you want the dildo to be. There are many intensely
lifelike dildos, down to the veins and varying shades. If that’s not for you,
there are also brightly colored, glittery options, as well as ones that look
more like abstract sculptures. Regardless of your choice, if you plan on
sticking a dildo up your butt, make sure it has a flared base so it doesn’t get
stuck, and always opt for nonporous, body-safe materials like medical-grade
silicone, stainless steel, and lucite.


THE BEST DILDOS

Below, we’ve rounded up the best dildos according to experts and buyers, all of
which are body-safe.

All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors.
However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an
affiliate commission.

 *  * Pinterest
   
   Babeland
   1
   
   
   BEST OVERALL DILDO: FIRST MATE FIRM CORE DILDO
   
   If you’re in the market for a classic, lifelike, anal-safe dildo, this one
   comes recommended by Carol Queen, PhD, who works at the sex- toy store Good
   Vibrations. “It’s dual density, so the exterior layer is softer and
   squeezable, and the interior is firm—sort of like, well, a penis,” she tells
   SELF.
   
    * Insertable Length: 7 inches
    * Diameter: 1.6 inches
   
   $100 at Babeland
   $100 at Good Vibrations
   
 *  * Pinterest
   
   Lovehoney
   2
   
   
   BEST BUDGET-FRIENDLY DILDO: LOVEHONEY IGNITE MINI DILDO
   
   The slim, purple Ignite is the most compact on our list. It’s anal-safe,
   thanks to its flared base, and is just $20—making it a not-too-intimidating
   choice for beginners. It’s a favorite of Francis’s for how comfortably it
   fits inside various orifices.
   
    * Insertable Length: 4.5 inches
    * Circumference: 2.25 inches
   
   $20 $18 at Lovehoney
   
   

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 *  * Pinterest
   
   Lovehoney
   3
   
   
   BEST DILDO FOR G-SPOT STIMULATION: NJOY PURE WAND
   
   Three experts praised the Njoy Pure Wand, an elegantly arched stainless steel
   toy that looks more like a facial tool than a penis (a pro if discretion is a
   concern). “Curved toys can be great to stimulate sensitive internal nerve
   bundles, like the G-spot or prostate,” Francis says. Its bend also makes it
   easier to angle when slipped inside, Megan Fleming, PhD, a psychologist and
   AASECT-certified sex therapist, tells SELF.
   
    * Insertable Length: 8 inches
    * Diameter: 1.5 inches on one end; 1 inch on the other
   
   $150 at Lovehoney
 *  * Pinterest
   
   Lovense
   4
   
   
   BEST VIBRATING DILDO: LOVENSE GRAVITY
   
   Not only does this dildo vibrate, but it thrusts too—both of which are
   features that can be app-controlled from anywhere by you or a partner (a real
   plus for anyone in a long-distance relationship). It has a notably strong
   suction base as well, says Fleming, in case you want to stick it on a surface
   for some hands-free fun.
   
    * Insertable Length: 5.12 inches
    * Diameter: 3 inches
   
   $259 $129 at Lovense
   $170 at SheVibe
 * 
 *  * Pinterest
   
   Babeland
   5
   
   
   BEST DOUBLE-SIDED DILDO: VIXEN CREATIONS PEACEMAKER DOUBLE DILDO
   
   A double-sided dildo is great because it offers internal stimulation for the
   wearer and the receiver simultaneously. Queen recommends the Peacemaker in
   particular, which has a realistic end and a hooked purple end that sits
   inside the vagina, creating a kind of strapless strap-on. “It’s designed to
   really feel like an extension of the body,” she says.
   
    * Insertable Length: 6.5 inches
    * Diameter: 1.875 inches
   
   $132 at SheVibe
   $162 at Good Vibrations

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 * 




 *  * Pinterest
   
   Fun Factory
   6
   
   
   BEST WEIGHTED DILDO: FUN FACTORY BOUNCER
   
   The Bouncer’s rippled shaft contains three weighted metal balls that rotate
   in circles with your body’s movement to create an “extra pleasurable
   sensation,” says Shannon—and buyers agree: “If you’re sensitive to vibration,
   this toy is great,” one Fun Factory shopper writes. “The balls inside the toy
   create a low rumbling when in motion—allowing me to last longer, since a
   constant buzzing doesn’t get me to the finish line too quickly!”
   
    * Insertable Length: 6.69 inches 
    * Diameter: 1.57 inches
   
   $105 at Babeland
   $100 at Fun Factory
 *  * Pinterest
   
   Good Vibrations
   7
   
   
   BEST DILDO FOR TEMPERATURE PLAY: LE WAND ARC
   
   “For a new sensation, try playing with a toy that has some weight to give it
   some added pressure,” says Francis. She likes the Le Wand Arch, which is a
   little under two pounds. You can switch between the ribbed, bulbous end on
   one head and a flattened tip on the other, and because it’s made of stainless
   steel, it’s excellent for temperature play. “It can be warmed and cooled
   easily,” says Francis. “Just test it on your inner wrist first to make sure
   it’s not too intense in either direction.”
   
    * Insertable Length: 8 inches 
    * Diameter: 1.44 inches
   
   $190 at Good Vibrations
 *  * Pinterest
   
   The Pleasure Chest
   8
   
   
   BEST DILDO FOR PEGGING: PEGASUS CURVED DILDO (WITH HARNESS)
   
   Want to give pegging a go? Shannon suggests the aptly named Pegasus, a
   vibrating, remote-controllable dildo that has a shaft made of bendable
   silicone that’s curved enough to hit the P-spot or G-spot. It’s small in
   size, comes with a harness (so you don’t have to deal with buying your own),
   and is totally waterproof for shower play.
   
    * Insertable Length: 5.5 inches
    * Diameter: 1.5 inches
   
   $135 at Good Vibrations
   $100 at The Pleasure Chest

Most Popular
 * The Best Walking Shoes You Can Buy From On
   
   By Sara Coughlin

 * 34 Core Exercises Top Trainers Swear By
   
   By Amy Marturana Winderl, C.P.T.

 * Kelly Clarkson’s 3 Romantic Red Flags Are Relatable as Hell
   
   By Kayla Blanton

 * 




 *  * Pinterest
   
   Unbound
   9
   
   
   BEST WATERPROOF DILDO: UNBOUND POGO
   
   Speaking of waterproof, here’s a no-frills dildo that’s conveniently
   dishwasher-safe (unless you live with your parents, that is). Shoppers praise
   its modest size, firm yet flexible body that fits into a harness, and silky
   smooth feel.
   
    * Insertable Length: 6 inches 
    * Circumference: 4 inches
   
   $37 at Amazon
   $37 at Unbound




Malia Griggs is a writer and editor who joined SELF's commerce team in 2020.
Previously, she worked at The Daily Beast, Comedy Central, and Cosmopolitan. In
addition to shopping, she has written about mental health, epilepsy, and
relationships.
 * Instagram

SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information
published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for
medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a
healthcare professional.

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