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GRANULAR LOL ANALYSIS


VON HELLO SPIRAL

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Drowned in a Calculator (entrance) 00:00 / 10:17





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 * TEILEN / EINBETTEN

1.
Drowned in a Calculator (entrance) 10:17

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2.
Record03 (Feb 2011) [granular lol analysis] 03:34

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3.
Record04 (Feb 2011) [filthy tube] 01:00

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4.
Toupée Machine 00:31

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5.
tinman 00:54

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6.
Lucky Chuckwu 01:53

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7.
Jarky noe 02:03

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8.
Front Room Tone 14(400) 00:16

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9.
Front Room Tone 42(400) 00:24

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10.
Frequency Fold 838 00:22

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11.
stutururts 03:19

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12.
Hell No Larry 03:53

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13.
Sterlit Field (Exit?) 16:38

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ÜBER

I remember him saying it was like being drowned in a calculator, that first
Field. The entrance. The barrier wasn’t visible but once you penetrated it,
christ. Every atom of your being felt like it was being divided, subdivided and
sorted in elaborate and esoteric orders and patterns. It felt like a long, long
time but according to our timepieces it was no more than a minute.

We found the first Field using two scraps of audio we’d salvaged from a hulk. No
idea what race had built it. No idea how old it was but it seemed very old,
ancient. The machine we took had no obvious purpose. But we got these two scraps
of very damaged audio. And found coordinates in the codec. ‘Record03 (Feb 2011)
[granular lol analysis]’ contained the X axis, Record04 (Feb 2011) [filthy tube]
the Y. And get a load of those dates. At least I think they are dates. In an
extremely old format if they are. But I am not an expert in these things.

We got spit out the other side of this first Field like pennies from a change
machine at the arcade. Possibly I made that association because of the weird
coppery taste in my mouth after all the atomic sorting business. I assume this
was a very thin residue of blood left over from being pulled apart in every
direction and then being put back together again. We’d all lost our hair. I
remember... he joked about hoping there was a toupée machine on the other side.
It was around that time I observed that our minds weren’t quite right. What the
hell is a toupée machine? You ever see a vending machine with wigs?

Out of the Field, the other side was featureless, a wasteland. Waiting for us
was a humanoid figure but made from some kind of metal or metallic substance. It
was clearly trying to communicate with us but didn’t speak our language or was
just broken. All that came out were strained, garbled noises, jagged and
glitchy. But it had enough nous to be able to signal to us to follow it, as it
turned around and walked away from the edge of the Field. We started jokingly
referring to it as the tinman as we followed.

After a couple of hours walking we started to see *something* on the horizon. As
we got closer it appeared to be some form of court. Like a tennis court? But not
really. The design was not geometric, and it was very busy in pattern. It hurt
either your eyes or brain to look too long at it.
Around this ‘court’ there were various items which I guess you played this game
with, like goals or basketball hoops, but they weren’t anything recognisable to
us.
The tinman motioned us to stand in certain positions on the court and pick up
the objects. Odd thing to say about a featureless metal figure but it appeared
quite excited.

The next….hour? Day? Week? Was a blur. I know we played whatever that game was,
and obeyed the rules of play. But I have no idea what we did or how we played,
or how we knew how to play.
When it was done, the tinman walked straight towards me emitting a vicious white
noise and I realised a strip of paper was slowly coming out of its mid-section.
The sound was an internal printer.
It handed me the strip and I saw printed on it were words, in English. So it did
know our language, I guess its audio module or whatever it emitted sounds with
was broken.
‘You Are The Lucky Chuckwu’ it said, and a smiley face next to it. The tinman
grabbed my other hand and held it aloft while I stared at this perplexing
message.

The tinman motioned at me. Pointed at the paper, pointed at its audio module
opening, pointed then at my mouth. It then began to rub its stomach. I realised
after a while it wanted me to eat the paper. So I did, out of politeness. It was
a mistake.
Seems obvious now that the paper would be adulterated with something, if it
wanted me to eat it. It started to kick in immediately. I’ve done psychedelics
before. Am a seasoned psychonaut you might say. This was not that.

I realised that we’d had an audience the whole time we’d been playing this game.
But only now could I see them. They were all singing together now that the game
was finished. I couldn’t tell you what they looked like. They kept shifting in
my vision. They were bluish and purplish? Some pink? Their general anatomy moved
like a kaleidoscope moves and they were completely symmetrical across both axes
I felt them all reach out to me inside my brain. To communicate.
“We are the Jarky noe. We are well met to you, Lucky Chuckwu”
It felt warm and nice and welcoming. I didn’t trust it one bit. And I was right
to. The last thing I saw as I fell backwards down a strange and filthy tube were
the rest of my team being vaporised. Their screams followed me. It didn’t appear
to be a quick way to go, despite the seeming efficiency with which the tinman
took them all out simultaneously.

The tube dumped me out of the ceiling of what looked like a normal human living
room. There were power sockets on the walls. A dado and picture rail running
around the walls. Nothing else though. No furniture. There was a door in each
wall, dead centre.
It was a while of exploring but I can save the time now to tell you I worked out
I was in a cube of rooms like those old puzzle cubes. If my calculations were
accurate there were 400 of them. I’d gone around and scratched numbers into the
walls. The one I entered was number 14. Every now and then I would find food or
water in one of them. Always when I was at the edge outright starvation mode.
The food and water were prepackaged but with no information on them. Usually a
sandwich, and a carton or a can of water.

I was using room 42 as a toilet. And that was where the Frequency Fold happened.
I guess moving my bowels in there invoked something. Something that had already
been watching me maybe?
I’d been building up weird faecal energy. I could feel the air vibrating in
there. Flexing.
I’ve neglected to mention that each room had a strange tone playing in it, some
louder than others. In 14 it was barely there. In 42 it was loud and dissonant.
I preferred that for shitting out of just old habit. There was nobody there to
hear me move my bowels but even if there were, they couldn’t over that racket.

So I am there doing my business when something changed in the tone, the
frequencies *folded*is the best way I can put it. And with them so did I. I was
once again put in mind of the first Field, as my body began to be divided and
folded like a piece of paper. But the feeling this time was *stutter-y* except
if I was being more accurate it was *stutururts-y*. Make sense? Yeah me neither.

So now I am existing as all these long thin shards of information and I am being
pummelled through radio and video transmissions. Catching thousands of tiny
little fragments of them as I pass through them all. Bits and pieces sticking to
me like burrs. I heard some kinda theme song that was either ‘hello Larry’ or
‘hell no Larry’. Something about chicken? Something about warheads? What was the
purpose of all this? If there even was one.

I don’t know how long I’d been lying there after it was over. I’d been staring
straight up into the sky unaware that’s what I was looking at. Eventually I sat
up and there was the tinman, somehow looking very pleased to see me. I was back
in the wasteland.
I heard the noisy printer in its midsection going again and it proffered another
scrap of paper at me.
I took it and read it, though slightly wary to let my guard down and look away
from the tinman.
‘I hope you enjoyed your stay, you lucky chuckwu you. The way out is through The
Sterlit Field. Hope to see you again!’ Another smiley face.

It once again motioned for me to eat the paper. I wasn’t falling for that again.
I screwed it up and dropped it on the ground. I could see this Sterlit Field
now, it was a strange one. Like a wall of shiny black jelly with points of white
in it in a diamond pattern.
The tinman had thrown its hands up and hunched down to the ground after I’d
thrown away its message. It blocked my path as I walked towards the starlet
field and proffered the paper again. I refused and walked around it, getting
closer to this weird shiny black wall.

I told you before that eating the paper had been a mistake? This time *not*
eating it was the mistake. Whatever substance is in there, you need it to cross
the Sterlit Field and get out on the other side.
I know this because I am in here with all the other Lucky Chuckwus. They told
me. We don’t age, we don’t need to eat or sleep. We can’t really move either,
it’s like being suspended in thick jelly. I can hear fine though, I wish I
couldn’t. There are so many of them in here and they do not stop fucking
talking. All of them all talking at once all the time. About nothing
interesting. Mainly smugly reminding you of your mistake about not eating the
final message, and then segueing into nostalgia of the time they made the
mistake. And a grudging respect and affection for the tinman.


The only relief is our ability to sync our minds and watch each new participant.
As it turns out, we are the Jarky noes. It’s a form of astral projection. We
watch each new team enter and then we root for the next lucky chuckwu, cheer him
or her on from the sidelines so to speak. The cube of rooms is particularly good
because we can take turns inhabiting their body for limited periods and feel
what it’s like to eat and shit again. In the frequency fold we can access the
collected fragments of audio and video signals and stitch them together into an
acceptable form of entertainment while we wait for the next team. It can be a
long wait, sometimes a couple of hundred years. But once we are notified by the
tinman that another lot of players have emerged from The Field, the excitement
is palpable.

3737 bald men thrumming with excitement in a vast strip of black jelly.  mehr


MITWIRKENDE

veröffentlicht am 13. Oktober 2023

All audio by Hello Spiral/Joe Baldwin
Mastered by Marc Hasselbalch
Drawing by Hello Spiral
Design/lettering by Barbu


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DISKOGRAPHIE

 * granular lol analysis
   Okt. 2023
 * Snoot Hunt
   Aug. 2023
 * Seven eveS
   Juli 2023
 * Still on that Slope
   März 2023

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