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BEYOND PRIDE: HOW TO BE AN ALLY YEAR-ROUND

13 June 2022

June is Pride Month, and shop windows, social media icons, and advertisements
will be awash in rainbows for the next few weeks. 

But allyship should extend beyond the turn of the calendar page. It’s important
to learn and understand the specific barriers faced by Two-Spirit, lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgender, and queer (2SLGBTQ+) communities and how allies and
advocates can support their friends, families, neighbours, and co-workers all
year round. 

Because of stigma, judgement, and discrimination, 2SLGBTQ+ people face greater
economic barriers. Queer people are more likely to earn less and experience
financial insecurity. There is a higher instance of 2SLGBTQ+ youth experiencing
homelessness, often due to family rejection. Many trans and non-binary people
may face stigma when accessing medical care, and 2SLGBTQ+ people may experience
violence or abuse. 

By becoming a stronger ally, we can all do our part to make our communities
safer and more equitable places. Here are some tips to help you expand your
knowledge around gender and sexuality to support the queer and trans community. 

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own unique journey when it
comes to sexual orientation and gender. For clarity and brevity, this article
uses the terms 2SLGBTQ+ and queer when describing people who do not identify as
straight, or with the gender they were assigned at birth. However, 2SLGBTQ+ and
queer are broad terms and may not be an accurate description for all
individuals. These terms also do not cover the wide sexual and gender spectrums.
Where possible and practical, specific identities are used and are linked to a
glossary at the end of this article, or to external sites for further reading.  



Photo by Denin Lawley on Unsplash




DO REMEMBER THAT PRIDE IS A PROTEST.
DON’T MAKE IT ABOUT PERFORMATIVE SOLIDARITY.

Edmonton’s first Pride was in response to the 1981 Pisces Bathhouse Raid. Police
arrested 60 men for being in a bawdyhouse. As an act of resistance, the gay
community hosted “Gay Pride Through Unity” events the next summer. 

While homosexuality was decriminalized in Canada in 1969 and same-sex marriage
became legal in 2005, stigma, judgement, and harassment toward the queer
community continues. As protest marches evolve into Pride parades, many 2SLGBTQ+
people see their visibility as defiance. Allies can celebrate and attend Pride
events, but it’s important to make sure you aren’t taking part in rainbow
washing. 

As an ally, take the time to consider how policies, environments, and even
casual conversation may affect the 2SLGBTQ+ community, and how you can advocate
for more inclusivity.

 * Are you centering and amplifying queer and trans voices during Pride –
   especially Two-Spirit, Black, Indigenous, and other racialized communities
   who face additional barriers?
 * Does your workplace have gender-neutral washrooms or pronouns in your email
   signature?
 * Would your medical leave or benefits policy negatively affect someone who
   needs gender-affirming medical care?
 * Do you ever use gendered greetings, even in settings where you don’t know
   someone’s pronouns? 




THE GENDERFLUID PRIDE FLAG






DO NORMALIZE INTRODUCING YOUR PRONOUNS.
DON’T ASSUME SOMEONE’S GENDER.

Gender identity and gender expression are terms to describe our sense of our own
gender and how we choose to express our gender, respectively. Sometimes, these
don’t align. It’s best not to assume someone’s gender identity, as you will not
know by looking at someone. 

Using a person’s correct pronouns shows great respect. Using the incorrect
pronoun (whether intentionally or unintentionally) is a form of misgendering and
can be harmful. 

Transgender, non-binary, and gender-diverse people face unique challenges,
including the stress some people experience when they can’t express their gender
identity in a way that is affirming. They also experience higher rates of
discrimination and harassment and, as a result, experience poorer mental health
outcomes. 

Commonly used pronouns are He/Him, She/Her, and They/Them, but there is a wide
variety of pronouns. Introducing yourself with your own pronouns, or asking
someone what pronouns they use, shows that you value and respect them. In the
event you make a mistake, apologize, correct yourself, and move on. 




DO LEARN HOW SEXUALITY EXISTS ON A SPECTRUM.
DON’T ASK FOR PROOF OF SEXUALITY.

Just like you can’t tell someone’s gender by looking at them, you also can’t
assume someone’s sexuality by looking at them or their relationships. For
instance, bisexual and pansexual people experience attraction and romance toward
multiple genders. Assuming someone is queer or straight because of whom they are
in a relationship with is erasure. 

If a bisexual woman is married to a man, this is called a straight-passing
relationship. The woman is still bisexual, and her identity is valid. An asexual
man may still be in a romantic partnership with a woman, even if he experiences
little to no sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of gender. 

And to be clear, it’s always inappropriate to ask someone to ‘prove’ they are
2SLGBTQ+ if you have only known them to be in a straight-passing relationship or
a same-sex one. Some people may not be out in all aspects of their life, or
still figuring out their identity. 




GLOSSARY OF TERMS 

2S or Two-Spirit: a cultural term used by some Indigenous people to mean a
person who has both a male and female spirit, which may include concepts of
spirituality, sexual orientation, and gender identity.   

Asexual: someone who does not experience sexual attraction.  

Bisexual: a person who is attracted to the same sex and different sexes.  

Cisgender: a person whose gender identity matches with the sex they were
assigned at birth.  

Gay: a man who is attracted to a man.  

Gender-affirming medical care: medication or procedures that can help people
adjust their bodies to match their gender identity.   

Gender expression: A person’s gender is expressed outwardly through their name,
pronouns, clothing, haircut, behaviour, voice, or body characteristics.   

Gender identity: a person’s internal sense of whether they’re male or female,
both, or neither. It’s a person’s internal, deeply held sense of one’s gender.
Gender identity is not visible to others. Gender identity may include, but is
not limited to, woman, man, nonbinary, and agender.  

Heterosexual (straight): someone who is attracted to people of a single,
different gender.  

He/Him: a gendered pronoun for men.   

Lesbian: a woman who is attracted to a woman.  

Nonbinary: a person who does not subscribe to the gender binary. They might
exist between or beyond the man-woman binary.  

Pansexual: a person who is attracted to someone regardless of their gender.  

Out: a term to describe people who openly self-identify as 2SLGBTQ+. There are
many different states of being out, and a person’s identity is still valid even
if they are not out.  

Queer: once a slur, queer has been reclaimed by the 2SLGBTQ+ community. As an
umbrella term, it has many meanings, including but not limited to: attracted to
people of many genders; not fitting cultural norms around sexuality and/or
gender identity/expression; non-heterosexual.  

Sexual orientation: a person’s emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attraction to
others. For many people, sexual orientation may change over time. Sexual
orientation may not always reflect sexual behaviours.   

She/Her: A gendered pronoun for women.  

They/Them: A gender-neutral pronoun.  

Transgender/Trans: someone who does not identify with the sex they were assigned
at birth. Some people may prefer to use a qualifier for their gender (ex: trans
man) while some may not. 



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