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Clergy, LGBT

AN OPEN LETTER TO ECC PRESIDENT GARY WALTER FROM A GAY COVENANTER

October 12, 2015 Andrew 21 Comments

Dear President Walter,

Andrew Freeman

As I’ve watched the unfolding developments in the Covenant Church’s struggle
with the topic of LGBTQ inclusion, I have felt at various times anger,
frustration, disappointment, hurt, and deep sadness. I grieve for our church not
only as a gay man who cannot fully thrive under our current position, but also
as a lifelong Covenanter who laments that the process we have followed in this
conversation has strayed from the wisdom of our heritage and brought us to a
place of such deep divide. I am writing this letter publicly, but welcome your
private response and will hold our correspondence in confidence. I want to speak
to you candidly, from one Covenanter to another, and there are a few things that
I want you to know.

The first thing I want you to know is that I have been hurt by your words and
your leadership. I have read and watched your remarks on this topic over the
past year, and I want you to know how some of your words sound to the ears of
one who is actually gay: they hurt.

When you describe my sexual orientation merely as an “attraction” that I must
“navigate,” that hurts. It undermines the legitimacy of the love LGBTQ people
feel for their partners. It reduces our relationships to an attraction and
denies them any credible depth and meaning. And it suggests that our orientation
is a burden rather than a gift. In short, it makes me feel that you haven’t
taken the time to fully understand me or my life.

When you list my orientation at the end of a list of alleged sexual sins, right
after adultery and pornography, that hurts. It is dehumanizing. It takes part of
my identity and smacks a negative label on it. And when this is the context for
your first mention of the existence of non-heterosexual individuals, it makes it
difficult for me to receive anything that follows with a spirit of love and good
intent.

When you cloak our denomination’s position on same-sex marriage under a broad
discussion of “the issue of human sexuality” and say that our position is “a
high challenge to all of us”, that actually hurts, too. It feels a little like
saying “All Lives Matter” at a racial justice rally: Yes, it’s technically true,
but it misses the point of naming the unequal burden placed on a particular
minority group.

When my life is reduced to an “issue”, thus making me negatively
one-dimensional, that hurts. Why must LGBTQ individuals always be spoken of in
such contentious terms? Even within our stated position, can we not affirm that
God has equipped LGBTQ individuals with significant gifts for ministry and that
we have much to offer the church? We are not an issue, we are the Body of
Christ.

In every correspondence that has come from your office in the past year, I’ve
been lead to believe that LGBTQ individuals played little to no role in your
discernment process. This hurts. It feels as if our stories and our voices are
not important. It feels as if you are talking about us without a willingness to
talk with us. It feels as if we are some sort of pariah or outcast you are
afraid to come into contact with, a headache that you wish would go away.

I have been hurt by words you have spoken, and I have also been hurt by that
which you have left unspoken. Over the years I’ve heard many unkind, even
hateful, things said about LGBTQ people. While I have pretty thick skin, our
youth and others across our church who struggle to accept their orientation or
gender identity are extremely vulnerable. In an age where hate crimes and
suicide and depression are significantly higher within the LGBTQ population, we
need to be able to call homophobia what it is: sin. And the church should be
leading the way in the opposition of hatred and violence in all of its forms.
One of the ways the church is uniquely equipped to combat hatred is with our
core message that ALL people are created in God’s image. Which is why our
church’s silence in condemning homophobia hurts so much. If we aren’t part of
the solution, we are part of the problem. Homophobia is sin, and our church is
complicit.

Although your words and actions have been hurtful to me, the second thing I want
you to know is that I forgive you. I know you are an honest and good man of deep
and sincere faith. I don’t doubt that you have studied scripture carefully and
have sought God’s guidance through these matters. I believe you have reached
your position honestly, and that your intentions to love others are heartfelt.
We may disagree, yet I trust that you are coming from a place of love. And even
though our ideas of love differ, and that difference has caused much pain in my
life, I forgive you.

The years I spent in the closet were dark years. I lived in fear of the judgment
I would receive from the church. When I came out of the closet, I was surprised
by the magnitude of the love and acceptance I received. The freedom I
experienced allowed me to let go of my fear. I found a new sense of security,
rooted in the knowledge that I am created and loved by God, gay and all. And
that is part of the reason I am able to forgive you: I am able to forgive
because of the affirmation I received from many in the wings of our church that
spoke a love one cannot find within our current guidelines. Their ministry
brought a healing grace into my life, and now it brings a threat to their
ministerial standing. So I want you to know that I forgive you in spite of the
church’s position, not because of it.

In a spirit of reconciliation, the third thing I want you to know is that I am
committed to being your companion in this long and difficult journey. One of the
most troubling aspects of the recently released guidelines for clergy and the
accompanying resource on dissent was the suggestion that clergy who find
themselves in ongoing dissent with the church have only two principled options:
to yield to the church’s position, or to conclude their service with the church.
Two options: yield, or leave. This sort of fork-in-the-road approach seems
antithetical to the Gospel of Jesus, one who was consistently finding a “third
way.” And it feels contrary to the Covenant I have known and loved, a church
which has prided itself in finding a “via media” – a “middle way” – when faced
with hard questions.

I believe that the Covenant Church is uniquely positioned in these contentious
times. We can show there is a difference between hard and harsh conversations.
Hard conversations are part of discipleship. They can lead to greater fidelity
in our walk with God and in service. Hard conversations are entered to build up
and make better. Harsh conversations are entered to win and destroy. They breed
greater recalcitrance and polarization. One of our six affirmations is “the
reality of freedom in Christ.” This means we focus on the evident biblical
center of what unites us in Christ, not on peripheral matters not clear in
Scripture. Within the boundaries of all of our other affirmations, we extend
“space” to each other. The Covenant is not a self-contained echo chamber that
only reinforces to each other a single voice or perspective. At our best, we
speak into one another, not past each other. We want to live respectfully in the
polishing cross-currents gained by wrestling with matters together biblically
and with hope.

This is the Covenant Church at its best. It’s the Covenant I grew up with and
served throughout much of my life. It’s the kind of Covenant Church I still
believe in. And I hope that you still do, too, because I didn’t write that last
paragraph – you did, in 2010. Your words tell me that in order for our church to
navigate these troubled waters and find that middle way, we are going to need
each other. And that is why I want you to know I am willing to have this hard
conversation with you. I suspect many of my LGBTQ Covenant friends would
similarly be willing to meet with you, if you would be willing to hear our
stories. Will you have this hard conversation with us?

The final thing I want you to know is that I will pray for you and all who serve
in Covenant leadership. I pray for your health and strength, and for wisdom and
discernment to respond to the vast demands placed on you. I thank God for your
commitment and dedication to this church and her mission. And I join you in
praying for our dear church, that even in great tumult we may join together in
common mission, for the sake of the gospel in the world, and for the flourishing
of all God’s children.

Your faithful companion on the middle way,
Andrew Freeman

Cc:
Mark Novak, Executive Minister, Develop Leaders
Dick Lucco, Executive Director of Ministry Development
Andy Sebanc, Chair, Board of the Ordered Ministry
Will Davidson, Chair, Executive Board of the ECC
Council of Superintendents
David Kersten, Dean, North Park Theological Seminary

Author’s note: Through much of last winter, my mother Bev regularly spoke of how
she wished she could have an opportunity to speak with President Gary Walter. “I
just want 10 minutes of his time,” she’d often say. She died from cancer on
April 17th, far too soon, and before she had the opportunity to have that
conversation with Gary. My mother devoted much of her life to serving the
Covenant Church, and she was heartbroken by the pain and division she saw being
caused by our inability to have this hard conversation. My mother loved everyone
with a fearless love. She wasn’t afraid of hard conversations, and in fact knew
how to ask the hard questions that brought people together and challenged them
to examine themselves and then look beyond the current challenge to see the
bigger picture. She was an exceptional leader, she was a “churchwoman” par
excellence, she was a true Christian. More than anyone in my life, she was the
prime example of what it means to be “a companion of all who fear the Lord.” I
miss her and her voice every day, and humbly try to follow her example wherever
I can. And so it is in that spirit, and in her memory, that I have written this
letter.

Clergy, Uncategorized

WHY I AM VOTING NO! BY PAUL CORNER

June 28, 2015 Phil Brockett 0 Comments

Rev. Paul Corner Why I am voting NO!

(Below is a statement that Rev. Paul Corner made at the Covenant Annual Meeting
which just concluded in Kansas City. Coming Out Covenant applauds Paul’s stand.
We believe that though his vote may be 1, that he speaks for hundreds and even
thousands of Covenant members, friends and former members. God bless you Paul
for your courage! Paul published this online and we do so here at COC with his
permission. If Paul’s words inspire you please share this with others. If you
are interested in learning more please see a list of books at the end of the
post which could be of help.)

This has been a momentous couple of days with the Supreme Court ruling that
marriage equality is constitutional. For me personally, there are mixed
emotions. I’m overjoyed for what this ruling means for family members and dear
friends. Love truly wins. My heart is also heavy as I consider the fact that
there is more work to be done in the church. In the past year, two of my dearest
friends and their churches are no longer part of the same denomination as me
because they and their churches embraced the full inclusion of LGBT people in
all levels of membership and leadership in their church. This led to the
severing of their relationships with our denominational home. The injustice of
it is simple, but the political and theological nuance is not. In our tradition,
we seek to be non-creedal meaning we seek to maintain relationship with one
another despite disagreement on matters not central to the Christian faith. In
these instances, we failed to live with that Spirit. So, today at our
denominational annual meeting, I will be voting ‘no’ on our denomination’s
budget as a symbolic act of lament over loss, in solidarity with those who
suffer, and with the hope that God can redeem us and continue to bind us
together as ‘companions of ALL who fear thee.’ Below is the statement I made.

I stand today to voice my opposition to the budget that has been presented.
However, it is not because of what is in it. I am proud of the rich heritage of
our church, and the good work we continue to do in Christ’s name. I’m honored by
our commitment to being students of the Word of God as well as, in the Spirit of
freedom in Christ, the relational emphasis to how we do theology together. I’m
humbled by our strong commitment to the whole mission of the church, and I am
proud of a tradition that works hard on important moral questions like racial
diversity, gender equality, immigration, and holistic development. I am glad to
continue to support these things and more that are represented in this budget,
and I commend those who have put in the work to steward well the resources God
has entrusted to us.

Today, my opposition is not because of what is in it, but rather because of what
is excluded from it. I’m speaking specifically about the funding for a new
church plant, Christ Church: Portland, who is no longer supported by this
denominational family. Pastor Adam Phillips of Christ Church had the funding for
his church pulled because he intended to plant a congregation that fully
welcomed lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people into its membership and
leadership. Similarly, I am also speaking about St. Johns Covenant Church in
Portland and their Pastor Andy Goebel, a three year old church plant who was
told they wouldn’t likely be approved as a member congregation in the Pacific
Northwest Conference and the ECC because of their commitment to full inclusion
at all levels of participation, membership, and leadership. I’m troubled by
these actions for several reasons.

First, I am troubled by these as acts of injustice. If budgets are theological
documents, I cannot stand behind a budget that has made the choice to exclude
people and churches from our worshipping community. I believe the Gospel calls
on us to err on the side of grace and mercy. I do not understand why
congregations cannot be planted in the Covenant family with the same spirit that
many others of our churches exist — namely, a commitment to welcome all without
theological consensus on a matter that is not central to our faith. Indeed, this
spirit of welcome is one that has been embraced by many Covenant churches. By
laying aside these two congregations, it causes congregations like my own, who
embrace this spirit, to question how we are to continue supporting this
denomination of which we have been a part for over 125 years.

Second, I’m opposed to this action because it cheapens the call for all of us
who serve as credentialed ministers of the Gospel in the Covenant. One of the
great strengths of our ministerium is that we are dedicated students of the
Word. Within that dedication, we make room for conversation, debate, and
relationship trusting in the Spirit to hold us together in the midst of it.
Hence our rules which allow for dissent but have expectations for pastoral
practice. I believe that healthy debate and even disagreement amongst
colleagues, in the end, serves to make us all stronger. However, when we silence
one part of the conversation as happened in these cases, we cheapen our call to
the point that the stoles gifted to us by the people in our ordination — the
symbol of our commitment to Christ and the Church — are cheapened to something
not unlike a sweat rag around the neck of laborers in an ecclesial sweatshop.

Finally, I am opposed to this budget action because it does not fit within our
historical ethos of companions of ALL who fear thee. We have been a church that
is able to hold in tension non-creedal theological convictions for the sake of
unity. We have been a church that has erred on the side of grace and mercy. And,
we have been a church that allows space for congregations to consider how
ministry is shaped and practiced in their context. We have allowed these values
to shape how we have lived together as a beautifully diverse body with diverse
convictions and a spirit of grace around important matters like baptism, women
in ministry, divorce, and more. We have done this with the conviction that
despite what may divide us, God calls us together and makes us strong in one
common mission. I believe this Spirit can prevail again as we consider the LGBT
people in our churches and our communities. Pastor Adam and Pastor Andy are not
alone amongst our clergy in their convictions on LGBT inclusion and affirmation,
and they broke none of the rules of the ordered ministry. Not only that, their
congregations did not embrace a posture towards LGBT inclusion that is any
different than many other congregations in our Covenant who are seeking
faithfully to do ministry in their communities. Actions like these taken against
Christ Church and St. John’s cheapen our whole movement and make us companions
of only some who fear thee — a kind of disembodied fundamentalism that does not
embrace the Spirit of who we have been or the Spirit of relationship in, by, and
with Christ that is at the heart of who we are.

So, today I will cast a no vote on this budget, again, not because of what it
does contain, but because of what it does not contain. It is a vote cast
lamenting the loss of congregations, colleagues, friends, and parishioners who
no longer feel safe in our Covenant. It is a vote cast in solidarity with the
many LGBT Covenanters who wonder if their church will make room for them at the
table. Yet, it is a hopeful vote that trusts in the Spirit of God to bind us
together and grant strength to our leaders to lead with boldness, creativity,
and grace trusting that though the road is difficult, God is at work in our
church and will continue to lead us forward as friends in mission.

(Paul had an earlier post on COC which you can read here.)

becoming more inclusiveEvangelical Covenant ChurchEvangelical covenant church
clergyHomosexuality
Uncategorized

TONY CAMPOLO ADVOCATES FOR FULL ACCEPTANCE OF CHRISTIAN GAY COUPLES INTO THE
CHURCH

June 8, 2015 Phil Brockett 1 Comment

Tony Campolo, well known evangelical writer and speaker released a statement on
June 8, 2015 calling for “the full acceptance of Christian gay couples into the
Church.” Campolo, states that his change of heart came through “countless hours
of prayer, study, conversation and emotional turmoil to bring me to the place
where I am finally ready to call for the full acceptance of Christian gay
couples into the Church.”

He summarizes, ” As a social scientist, I have concluded that sexual orientation
is almost never a choice and I have seen how damaging it can be to try to “cure”
someone from being gay. As a Christian, my responsibility is not to condemn or
reject gay people, but rather to love and embrace them, and to endeavor to draw
them into the fellowship of the Church.”

The full statement can be read on Campolo’s blog.

Coming Out Covenant applauds Dr. Campolo for his courage and forthrightness and
invites other like minded Church Leaders to let it be known when God works in
their minds and hearts in similar fashion. While it is the stated purpose of
this blog to provide a safe place for LGBT Covenanters and others to tell their
stories of “coming out” it is also important for straight Christians to tell
their stories of how God has changed their minds and hearts on this issue.

If you would like to read stories of how God worked in people’s hearts and minds
you might want to consider reading;

David Gushee’s Book Changing Our Mind

Does Jesus Really Love Me?:A Gay Christian’s Pilgrimage in Search of God by Jeff
Chu

God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines.

Uncategorized

THE LOVE EXTENDED ME

March 19, 2015 Phil Brockett 0 Comments

(COC’s foremost purpose is to provide a place for Covenanters to tell their
story of “Coming Out.” We welcome submissions. We thank the author, who chooses
to remain anonymous, for sharing their story.)

I recently read that for its first two hundred years Shakespeare’s King Lear
floundered. From 1642 until 1660 the Puritan revolution had closed theatres
across England. Nahum Tate, the son of a Puritan clergyman, saw his role in the
burgeoning British empire as his ability to improve its literature. In 1681 he
introduced a sanitized version of Lear, which dominated the stage for 150
years. What was the reason for his re-write? Lear’s actions were inexplicable
to the minds of Puritans who detected no moral uplift as a result of the trials
that he endured. Tate resolved the problems by: changing the character’s
motivations, having the actors who exhibited lesser moral fiber die in the end,
and re-scripting Lear as a victim of villains. The last scene resolves the play
in merriment with actors, Enjoy[ing] the present Hour, nor fear[ing] the Last.
The play ends with all of the characters jigging off the stage to Pharrell
William’s lyrical tune, Happy.

~~~~~

For the past twenty-five years I’ve been a close friend with the most gifted
organist to ever play in a church that I served. Now in his seventies, he is
still invited each year to perform at festivals that feature some of the oldest
organs in the USA. And there was another, a vocalist with an operatic baritone
voice, with whom I have sadly lost touch. A Native American, he specialized in
19th century hymns. Standing at the front of the church, with long black hair
sitting on his shoulders, his singing was wonderfully moving. Each of these men
made profound impacts on the congregations I served through their participation
in worship. Both loved Christ; both knew themselves loved by Christ. Each of
them were, and are, homosexual. And there were others: Christian educators,
doctoral students, parishioners, vowed religious brothers and sisters, priests,
Protestant pastors, and even Covenant clergy.

~~~~~

Some of the first words in the Gospel of John are, In the beginning was the
logos. Greeks understood the word logos as indicative of a language used to
develop linearly logical arguments that could then be debated. And John uses it
to indicate that his writing too will be logical, but in a different way.
John’s usage of the word logos challenges all of us to give up our ordered
notions of God and to exchange it for the logic with which God makes sense of
the world, which is actually pathos…the manner in which we are related to one
another. In other words, God’s logic enters our lives at a transformative
gut-level…and the single greatest indicator of whether we have acquired God’s
logic, is whether we truly love or not. King Lear stands in relation to the
rest of Shakespeare’s writings as the Gospel of John, or the drama of Job,
stands in relation to the rest of Scripture; these are remonstrations and
chastenings.

~~~~~

It has been nearly 20 years since the Evangelical Covenant Church took its
non-binding vote on human sexuality in 1996. When that happened I began to
caution homosexual Covenant friends, colleagues, and parishioners to start
looking for a new spiritual home. It was difficult for me to do and difficult
for many to hear. And I myself began a measured retreat from Covenant ministry
a few years later until I eventually, and quietly simply stepped out of Covenant
ministry altogether. I went through a deep and horrible grieving process
throughout this time. I grieved because the love that I extended to all people
equally and indiscriminately as a minister of Christ’s was silenced and seen as
traitorous by the spiritual family who had convinced me when I was growing up
that God is love.

I will always greatly value my Covenant roots. I still promote everywhere and
with everyone the Covenant’s motto, that I am a companion of all who fear Thee.
I wish my Covenant friends well in being this when it comes to fully
understanding, and truly loving all people, including those in the LGBT
community without any strings attached. It’s certainly not an issue for my
children who are now adults and who can’t quite wrap their minds around why it
is so difficult for the church in which they were raised to do this? They, too,
know that they are no longer welcome in the Covenant and attend worship
elsewhere. I recently had a friend comment to me that it was a lot easier for
them to love LGBT’s than to love the Christians who don’t love LGBT’s. I wryly
told them that I thought that that was a pretty profound statement and that if
they chewed on that long enough they ran the risk of actually living their way
into God’s reign! It certain is much easier to fully accept LGBT’s than many
Christians seem to be making it.

Peace…

Allies, Clergy, LGBT

BROKEN HEARTED: BY ADAM NICHOLAS PHILLIPS

February 16, 2015 Phil Brockett 1 Comment

On February 4th I was informed by Covenant leaders that they were terminating
their partnership with me as a church planter and Christ Church: Portland as an
official church plant of the Evangelical Covenant Church. The reason: my
personal convictions and advocacy for the full inclusion and participation of
LGBT Christians in the church at all levels of membership and leadership,
receiving the same call as any other Christian would to discipleship and faith,
community, fidelity in relationships.

In terms of my position on human sexuality, I agree with the arc of the
Covenant’s position, which: upholds celibacy in singleness and faithfulness in
heterosexual marriage as the Christian standard. I only differ in my convictions
that the call to celibacy in singleness and the call to Christian marriage be
extended to both “straight” and “LGBT” followers of Jesus in our churches.

In 2004, the ECC’s Board of the Ordered Ministry offered this word, which stood
as Covenant policy on human sexuality matters, with the caveat that “The
following is a report from the Board of the Ordered Ministry to the 119th Annual
Meeting in 2004. It represents what we have discerned thus far.”

For more on the Covenant’s position, read:
http://www.covchurch.org/…/Human-Sexuality-Guidelines-for-M…

In the run-up to that official 2004 declaration, and all along the way since
then in my licensing and ordination conversations, church-planter’s assessment,
and in private consultation with ECC leaders at all levels of local, regional
(Conference) and denominational leadership I shared that I believed the policy
statement was incomplete, and the call to continued discernment, as inferred by
the Board of the Ordered Ministry, was a good word that we should continue to
reflect on. I was urged that the Covenant was a safe place for me to hold these
personal convictions and that discernment would be, of course, an ongoing matter
as we rooted ourselves in Christ, dwelled deeply in the Scriptures, listened
with pastoral ears to our local communities, and followed the movement of the
Holy Spirit.

I, in no way whatsoever, believe that LGBT inclusion is an essential matter of
faith. For me, it comes down to my pastoral sensibilities and concern for my
local community and broader ministry context. It’s my pastoral convictions that
undergird my advocacy on such matters, as they have in my advocacy around
poverty, racism and global health.

Let me be clear: There are wonderful, faithful Christians who seek to include
LGBT persons in their local ministry contexts and congregations, stopping short
of Christian marriage. They are doing wonderful work on anti-bullying and other
such challenges that the LGBT community face every day.

I count such congregations and their leaders as companions and colleagues in the
great journey with Jesus we’ve each been magnificently gifted by a God who loves
us with a love we can barely comprehend. We’re better together.

My sincere hope and desire was that we, in the Evangelical Covenant Church,
could maintain our historic ethos of Christian freedom on such matters.

In recent months, as I heard the testimony of faithful Christians who happened
to be gay, the narratives were immensely similar: experiences of exclusion,
alienation, with many suffering from clinical depression or suicidal thoughts.
Hearing these stories happened during a season in which I was pigeon-holed by
Covenant leaders to articulate my personally held convictions once again. I
could no longer keep fully silent on these matters. In fact, I heard God calling
me out to speak faithfully on such matters.

As a result, we lost not only our faith family support system in the Covenant
church, we lost the next two years of funding. Curiously, I remain ordained in
the Evangelical Covenant Church and will have a meeting with ECC leaders in
March or April to further understand the parameters of such an ordination,
serving a former Covenant church plant.

I share this testimony, an open letter to my Covenant friends, to live in the
light of my convictions. I share it out of a spirit of love and unity, not
hostility or division. I share it in the hope that in the end love and faith
triumph over conflict and fear.

I’m also excited to share that you’ll hear from members of Christ Church’s core
team a week from now, about who they are and why they’re excited to be part of
our brand new congregation, taking root in Portland. Stay tuned.

FAQ

1. Where can I read more about Biblically rooted, Christ-centered inclusion of
LGBT folks in the church?

I’d start with a handful of books including: “Changing Our Mind,” by David
Gushee, “God and the Gay Christian” by Matthew Vines, “Torn” by Justin Lee, “A
Letter To My congregation” by Ken Wilson,” “Does Jesus Really Love Me” by Jeff
Chu. I’d Google Vicky Beeching and hear her story. I’d check out the video
debates held by Tony and Peggy Campolo on said topic. I’d check out what Steve
Chalke and Oasis UK have released on inclusion.

But most importantly, I’d reach out to LGBTQ friends, family, or fellow
congregants and share a cup of coffee or tea and listen, listen, listen. And
listen some more.

Also, check out www.mf4inclusion.com – a group of Covenanters committed to a
Biblically, Christ-centered conversation on LGBT inclusion.

2. What about those Christians who believe that they are only called or
Biblically guided to live out their LGBT orientation only in celibacy?

It’s monumentally important to honor these convictions. And I’d also read

“Washed and Waiting” by Wesley Hill, a gifted Biblical scholar with a pastor’s
heart.

3. What about reparative therapies for LGBTQ Christians?

It’s my conviction that we must listen to and honor ALL of these stories,
including those that have undergone, what they discern, is a successful
transition to heterosexual living. I have dear friends whose experience would be
similar and I do not in any way

4. Is Christ Church: Portland a one-issue church?

Absolutely not. As we’ve gathered for worship and mission these past 11 months
we’ve been focused on both discipleship and compassion, mercy and justice. We’re
particularly passionate about our partnership with a local public school who is
bridging the education gap for at-risk kids, we’re particularly passionate about
our work on racial reconciliation in an ever-gentrified context, and have worked
on homelessness and hunger, immigration reform and fighting human trafficking
and serving members of the sex-industry in Portland.

5. How can we learn more about Christ Church: Portland?

Visit our website: www.christchurchpdx.org or check us out on Facebook

Also, please prayerfully consider supporting our Indiegogo campaign
here:http://igg.me/at/christchurchpdx/x/2867278

Allies, Family, LGBT, Uncategorized

“SURVIVING THE CARE OF THE CHURCH” : JACK WOODIN

June 9, 2014 Phil Brockett 9 Comments

I grew up in the Catholic Church, and discovered the Evangelical Covenant Church
29 years ago when I met a wonderful young woman who would eventually become my
wife. Amazed by the Christian love and fellowship that I had not had in my life
of faith, I embraced the ECC whole-heartedly. I joined the church and in 1986,
I was married at Bethany Covenant Church in New Britain, CT. I had dreamed of
this ideal life for all of my growing up years, and the icing on the cake was
that it came with the incredible bonus of a new journey of faith. In that
church which eventually relocated to Berlin, CT, I learned about what it meant
to follow Jesus. A whole world of faith and family was opened up to me! Over
the years of our marriage, through many struggles, the constant that kept us
afloat was that abiding love of God and the gift of a loving, caring church
family that walked with us down every road. I have worshipped, laughed and cried
in that place and served in numerous leadership roles including a few years as
church chairman. I have been heavily involved in the music programs and the
eventual evolution of contemporary worship for the church. As our church motto
states, for me Bethany Covenant Church was truly a place where “people come to
life!”

After 20 years of marriage, I found myself growing increasingly unhappy. I had
everything I had wanted, and still something was wrong. My joy was leaving and
I could not get it back. I sought counseling and spent a lot of time praying
and working through childhood issues and emotional challenges but not really
getting to the root of my pain. I took a break from that counseling and in my
alone time and prayer time I began to realize what was so terribly wrong. I
returned to counseling and in that first meeting with a new therapist I sat down
and said, “this is what I’m here for”; “I have been married for 24 years and
have a great life and family but I am terribly unhappy because I have realized
that I am gay!” Just saying those words aloud was both one of the most
frightening moments of my life and one of the most liberating ones. This was
not in my plan for my life and yet everything within me told me that this was
the missing puzzle piece. That summer while vacationing at Pilgrim Pines in New
Hampshire, a Covenant Camp and Retreat Center, our pastors Adam Phillips and
Aaron Johnson talked about rewriting your story through the prism of your faith;
looking at your past life, mistakes, patterns and trials and prayerfully setting
out on a new path. “The rewrite happens when you realize that the program for
the first act of your life does not work for the second half”, they said, and I
realized that this was true of my story! I could not keep silently fighting the
battle. My story was flawed. I spent 2 years in that therapist chair exploring
this new reality. I worked through the question “how in the world can I change
my life and somehow not lose all that I relied on?” I struggled to know “ what
the “right” thing to do was for both me and my family? “ Not only did I fear
the loss of my family, I feared that I would have to give up my church and that
worst of all, that Jesus would not love this new me.

With the help of a great Christian therapist, I knew what I needed to do to make
sense of my life. I made a plan to have the “coming out” conversation with my
wife. In January of 2013, we sat down and I dropped the bomb. There was no
explosion! She listened intently, quietly cried and then told me that she
really knew or suspected for some time and told me it was okay and gave me the
most gentle and affirming hug. What a gift. The conversation I had dreaded for
so long was behind me and I could share with the person with whom I discussed
and confided everything for so long the one thing I had kept secret from her.
Together we talked and solicited help from our counselors to prepare for the
eventual separation, and to make a plan for how and when we would include our
kids then 17 and 12 in the story. In June of 2013, we told them the reality
about Dad and that ultimately we would divorce. My kids have been a marvel.
They love and support me and are ready to take on anybody who does not. They
know that the same man who loved and cared for them and taught them about the
love of Jesus is still with them. It is just that life at home will look
different.

I had spent many years singing with the praise team at Bethany and I continued
in that role. My wife and I kept our reality very close to the vest and inside
our family for many months. At the end of the summer of 2013, I decided that out
of love and respect it was time to let the church know what was happening in our
home. After all, I had shared with the people I loved the most, my wife and my
kids and the world had not stopped turning, rather I received love and support.
I felt empowered to have the same conversation with my pastor and include my
other love, the church, in the loop. My conversation with the senior pastor was
very kind and I was greatly relieved. At that point, suddenly the dam began to
crack and the mood changed. The pastor met with church officers to discuss our
situation, and they made the decision that I could no longer lead worship and
sing with the praise team. Church leadership asked me to step out of my role in
the music ministry. The message was that this “break” was only about the
dissolution of our marriage and a breach of our marriage vows not about the fact
that I was gay. At the same time leaders and church staff learned of our
situation, we found that questions about our marriage and our problems were a
topic of discussion both inside and outside the walls of the church. Because of
this, I chose to tell my story and sent messages to people within the church
that I valued and told them what was happening with us. This proved to be very
painful for our family. A private matter that we had been handling with great
care and gentleness was now under a spotlight. Forced to explain my absence
from the worship team, we had to endure the watchful eyes of many in the
congregation. I received hateful communications from a member whom I hardly
knew. Dear friends who once lovingly engaged with me now completely turned away
and ceased all communication. A letter stating the “decision” of the church was
hand-delivered to us. It felt like our innermost concerns were now “posted” at
the church for all to see. The letter referred to a period of reflection and
“care” from the church, but it felt like punishment and rejection. I had heard
that term “under care” used before when clergy members were involved in personal
struggles, but the difference was that I am not a pastor and not even on church
staff. My only public role was singing worship songs on Sunday mornings. How
could this church, where I had learned about Christian love, and faithfully
following the teachings of Jesus, now push me away? I was blindsided.

Where we are now is complicated. I have moved out of the home and we are
finalizing the legal separation that is inevitable for our family. We are a
family forever and our love and care for each other has not diminished.
Initially in our pain and surprise during this period of “care”, we avoided
being present at the church, but we realized that our kids loved it and wanted
to be there. We wanted to support them as well as teach them about how you face
adversity particularly within a family and what we do when the going gets
tough. “No running away.” We also knew that the majority of our social
connections and extended “family” were there. Being absent from there was a
tremendous loss for us all. Last fall, I attended a men’s retreat at Pilgrim
Pines lead by Pastor Judy Peterson from North Park Seminary. Judy and her
preaching has had a tremendous impact in my life. My thought going into that
weekend was that I needed to find some private time with Judy to ask “what do
you do when you know that Jesus loves you and the church doesn’t?” I never asked
the question because in her message she gave me the answer. The message was
that Jesus loves me and wants care for me in a gentle and loving way. I do not
always have to be strong and just as Jesus told the disciples in the boat when
they were afraid of sinking “do not be afraid.” Judy said Jesus is telling us,
“don’t focus on the storm, don’t look at the wind; don’t look at the waves… look
at me and you won’t be afraid. I wept as Judy prayed and I knew we were going
to be okay. This message was so simple and yet so profound. Jesus is my
strength; the church and all the politics and awkwardness are the storm and I
can endure if I keep my eyes on Him.

We continue to attend and wait for God to show us if this remains our home. So
many dear friends in the congregation have stood with us and loved us, and for
them I am eternally grateful. Will I ever return to full “citizenship”? The
answer is unclear. In January 2014, I again met with the pastor and church
chair. I posed the question, “when my divorce is behind me, when and how will I
be fully welcomed back?” The reality is that I am a gay man. “When the day
comes that God blesses me with a new partner, will it be okay for me to worship
with that man in my church?” The State of Connecticut says I can be married to
that man if I choose, but the church does not. “Would I be asked to take
another break?” The response was that this is something that the church will
need to work through before I will have my answer.

I know in the depths of my heart and soul that when God created me he did not
make a mistake – I just did not understand or see the beauty in his creation for
a very long time. In my early years, I neither saw nor wanted to see it, and
then later when I did see it, I fought so hard to live the life to which I
thought I had been called. Doing so nearly destroyed me. I am a child of God
and a follower of Jesus. I am a sinner saved by grace that can now live life to
its fullest and trust that God is pleased with me. The Covenant church has been
my teacher, my pastor and my friend for 29 years, so I would like to stay and
help the denomination evolve in their position on homosexuality, but I also know
that I need to be somewhere that I can be my true self. I believe in the value
of the Covenant Church, and my prayer is that time and good communication will
shed a positive light on the subject and lead to change. I believe the people
in leadership in my church are truly people who desire to do what is right and
do not harbor ill feelings toward me but they are people with their own
preconceived notions, fears and baggage. The challenge will be for leadership
within the local church and the denomination to discern when it is time to lead
the people through this difficult discussion and to take a stand from a place of
love. Then, the “care of the church” will look much more like love and
acceptance rather than punishment and judgment. I would like to think I would be
there when it happens but time will tell. At the moment I am standing tall
under the “care” of the church and resting in the knowledge that I am a child of
God… fully loved and fully accepted. This church struggle is only the storm,
the wind and the waves, because when I lift up my head, I see Jesus and I am not
afraid!

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CALLING ALL PARENTS…..

March 20, 2013 Phil Brockett 0 Comments

“Mom, I have something to tell you…I’m gay”. “Dad…I think that I am in the
wrong body, I think that I am really a boy”.

(Coming Out Covenant is pleased welcome guest poster Laura Statesir from the
Marin Foundation and to invite your participation in developing resources for
families of LGBTQ children.)

One of the most difficult and life changing statements a parent can hear is that
of their child coming out to them. When your daughter tells you she’s bisexual
or your three year old son insists that God made a mistake and he is really a
girl, what do you do? Like a bomb being dropped, this revelation has the
potential to tear families apart. Parents often feel scared, angry, confused,
anxious, hopeless, and very alone. Their hopes and dreams for their children
are shaken and replaced with fears of discrimination, AIDS, and stigma. For
parents of the Christian faith, the questions may be even more complicated.
What does the Bible say? How will my church react? Will my child go to hell?
What does this mean for my faith?

The Need:

Over the years the Marin Foundation has received numerous requests for help,
guidance, and advice from the parents and families of lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transgender and queer/questioning (LGBTQ) children. Most of these parents
identify as Christian and are struggling to reconcile their faith and the
sexuality or gender identity of their child. Although many resources exist for
the parents and families of LGBTQ children, few of these resources offer a
framework for exploring this issue from a loving Christ-like perspective.
Therefore, the Marin Foundation is launching a Parent Resource Initiative to
identify the needs of Christian parents of LGBTQ children and then develop new
resources to help them keep their faith AND love their child at the same time.

The Marin Foundation:

The purpose of the Marin Foundation is to help build bridges between the LGBTQ
community and the church in a non-threatening, research and biblically oriented
fashion. More information can be found on our websites, www.
themarinfoundation.org and www.loveisanorientation.com

WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Our goal is to interview 200 Christian parents of LGBTQ children as well as
others involved in supporting families (therapists, support group leaders,
etc.). We want to hear your story!

We are looking for a representative sample of parents from all over the United
States, of all ages, ethnic backgrounds and ranges of Christian beliefs.
Whether your child came out to you two days ago or twenty years ago, we would
love to hear about your experience.

Participation consists of a written survey and an interview. The interviews
generally take 1 to 2 hours and can be done in person (within the Chicago area),
over the phone, or through Skype at your convenience. The survey is online and
takes about thirty minutes to complete. All information is kept confidential.

A Safe Space

We would like to provide a safe space for you to share your story without fear
of condemnation or judgment. Regardless of your religious, cultural, political,
or other views on this subject, we want to know what this experience has been
like for you.

To Participate:

Please contact Laura Statesir at the Marin Foundation for more information.
You can email her at Laura@themarinfoundation.org or call 773-572-5983.

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REV. ALDEN JOHNSON: “A GRANDFATHER SPEAKS”

September 12, 2012 Phil Brockett 25 Comments

“Grandpa, can I hold your hand?” asks my four-year old granddaughter as we walk
on the sidewalk of South Street in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts. “Of course!” is
my enthusiastic response. Soon her twin sister catches up to us and wants to
hold my hand as well. Not much can make a grandparent happier that holding hands
with his twin granddaughters. Of course, they know that at a street crossing,
they must hold the hand of an adult. They’ve been taught that by their mothers.

“Their mothers” is not a typo. My granddaughters have two mothers. One is, of
course, our daughter. They live in a neighborhood where a two-mom family doesn’t
raise eyebrows. Their preschool has two-mom families, two-dad families,
single-parent families, mom-and dad families. It’s just the way things are. The
church that our daughter and her spouse attend has the same family diversity.
The lead pastor is openly gay and lives with his same-gender partner. It is not
an issue! A walk in the park reveals ethnic diversity and different family
constellations. Could this be a fulfillment of the prayer we repeat Sunday after
Sunday, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven?” I’m
confident the answer is a resounding, “Yes!”

Yes, the word “spouse” was not a mistake either. Our daughter and her partner
were united in marriage by a Presbyterian clergywoman who later made national
news when she was reprimanded for performing another same-gender wedding.
(Charges against her were recently dismissed.) It was a lovely ceremony with
about 100 family members and friends gathered to celebrate the occasion.
Incidentally there were eight ordained Covenant clergy at that wedding as well
as several members from the congregation that I previously served. Everyone
from our family was in attendance and wonderfully supportive of the newly
married couple. It was a great party! It is legal in Massachusetts for
same-gender couples to be married. Shouldn’t it be that way everywhere?

Well, we mean to do our part! This past June my wife and I co-hosted a house
party sponsored by Mainers United for Marriage. This is a coalition of groups
banded together to support the ballot initiative this November to allow
same-gender marriage in the State of Maine, which was defeated three years ago.
We and many others hope and are working for its success this time. We believe
that folks are increasingly aware that being gay or lesbian is innate and not a
choice and that no one should be denied a lifelong commitment through marriage.

The picture may be becoming clearer–not only am I a grandfather and a father but
also an ordained Covenant pastor, a graduate of North Park Seminary (Class of
1964), and have served Covenant churches for almost 30 years. Furthermore, I am
passionately committed to the notion that people, no matter what their God-given
sexual identity, have the right to formalize Their love for another person
through marriage. As for many, this stance and these convictions didn’t just
happen. There are stories, events along the way, that helped to mold what I
stand for now.

The religious stance in my childhood home was conservative and evangelical. We
didn’t talk about sex and most certainly didn’t discuss alternative sexual
identities. I have faint recollections of high school locker room comments about
someone being “gay,” but I’m not sure I was aware of what that meant. Reflecting
on my two years at North Park College(1956 – 58), I don’t recall thinking of
classmates being lesbian or gay. However as time went on and my awareness
progressed, I began to hear that some were. Later, with further thought and
exposure, my rational response to the “gay issue” was one of openness and
acceptance, although my visceral reaction to same-sex couples showing affection
was discomfort.

Another “marker event” occurred in March, 1987. I had served the Covenant
Congregational Church of Waltham, Massachusetts for 13 years. Two other
churches, both American Baptist, and our church sponsored a Lenten Study Series
entitled, “A Christian’s Look at Social Issues.” I was the primary organizer.
One session topic was “Alternative Life Styles—Homosexuality.” Twenty five
years later that doesn’t sound very dramatic, but if any readers can place
themselves in that moment in time in a Covenant church along with two Baptist
churches bringing in a resource person (an ordained Southern Baptist and PhD
candidate at Boston University) to address this topic and lead a discussion, you
realize that although it probably wasn’t quite “cutting edge,” it wasn’t far
behind.

My exposure and comfort level were greatly enhanced in the early 1990’s as my
wife worked in the graphic arts department of a nationally known magazine.
Several co-workers were openly gay. Often at social gatherings with these folks
we would be in the distinct minority as a straight couple.

Many of you have read Lynda McGraw’s poignant piece “My Beloved Brother” on
Coming Out Covenant. I presided at her brother’s memorial service in the
Covenant Congregational Church of Waltham in 1996. Mark had been in a
confirmation class that I taught. His parents were close friends, so I had been
aware of Mark being gay through many conversations with them. I knew that he had
become ill and suffered beside them. I remember vividly gathering with Mark’s
family and his partner, James, to plan the service. I wanted to be fully
supportive. I hope that I was. It was a beautiful moment in the sanctuary of the
Waltham church.

Because I’m a Covenant pastor, some will wonder how I can assume this open,
affirming stance on LGBT issues. How can I disregard Scripture passages that
seem to condemn homosexual behavior? My answer is neither profound nor unique. I
simply ask, “How can we expect the biblical authors to have a positive approach
to homosexuality without the evidence and insight we have now?” Why can we not
label these verses as culturally tainted as are passages presuming that the
earth is flat, slavery is acceptable, women must not speak in church (certainly
not with an uncovered head), divorced people must not be pastors, etc., etc.?
Peter Gomes’s The Good Book brought clarity to my thinking about these Biblical
injunctions. He calls typical church views of homosexuality “the last
prejudice.” I’m not sure I agree it’s the “last prejudice,” but it’s surely a
prejudice the church should fight to eradicate. I’m absolutely convinced that,
facing a choice of Scriptural interpretation, love of neighbor trumps
everything.

Obviously I am very troubled by the current stance of our denomination, but I am
confident that as our society progresses in understanding and affirmation, so
the Covenant church will eventually grow. Other denominations have taken the
lead and yes, have paid a price, but I suspect God cares more for people and
principle than for impressive statistics!

In my 74 years, I’ve shed notions here and there and acquired new understandings
along the way. I thank God and the people who have aided my growth. I intend to
work and support to the best of my ability in my remaining years those
principles that have become part and parcel of my being. Of course, there will
always be time to enjoy my beautiful granddaughters, watch them grow and become
gracious women, and be thankful for their mothers who have given them life and,
like all mothers, want all that is good for their children. That makes me as
happy as my grandaughters wishing to hold my hand does now!

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LGBT

I AM BEING WEAVED: MATT VICKERS

August 23, 2012 Phil Brockett 5 Comments

I am Gay and I am Christian.

I am done hiding. My past has laid a lot of burdens on me and I couldn’t be
happy and I couldn’t be myself. For so long, I had no idea who I was, I was
afraid to be who I was and was afraid what people would think of me. I battled
with identity issues for a long time and was afraid to confront them.

So here I am and here is my story. I graduated from North Park Spring 2011 with
a Bachelor of Arts degree in Advertising and a Certificate in Nonprofit. Like I
said, my past has laid a lot of burdens on me. For 20 years, I kept a lot of
pain and suffering to myself. I did not want it to contain me any longer so I
told a few of my friends and began questioning my sexuality and began drinking
heavily to ignore my insecurities. As I continued to drink heavily and created a
new addiction to porn I did what I knew best and that is to run. I continued to
run from my insecurities and ignored all the emotions and issues that were
bottled up. I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions and never had friends
that cared about my personal life. As I continued to run, I pushed away friends
and did not allow anyone in.

At this time, I wasn’t part of a community until I transferred to North Park.
The community at North Park was loving and supportive but I was too afraid to
expose myself. I just continued to drown my emotions and pain with alcohol and
continued my porn addiction. I did what I knew best, and that was to not allow
people in my life and continue to drink. As I continued these habits, in the
fall Semester Junior Year I began to slowly collapse and slipped into depression
and took off the semester. As I began counseling, I was afraid of the outcome so
I did what I knew best and that was to run, yet again. It wasn’t until I met Amy
(North Park Student), that I really trusted that there was a person in this
world who would love me for whoever I was and whatever I went through. She was
the very first person I allowed into my personal life and she was my very best
friend from that point on. I relied on her prior to graduating where things
began to collapse quickly and I slipped into a deep dark depression that changed
my life dramatically.

At this time, I left my pride behind me and began counseling again. At that
moment of joining counseling I knew I had issues that would resurface especially
my sexual identity. This was frightening because I had never allowed myself to
be true to my sexuality or let it be exposed because I thought my family would
deny me. When the sexual identity issues started to resurface I began to think I
was ill for having same sex attraction. At the same time, I thought I would
overcome the same sex attraction through counseling and the support of family
and friends. As I continued to attend counseling the depression worsened and I
began to have severe anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and no hope. Here is a blog
from the midst of depression (October 27, 2011):

“Through this process, I have felt alone and afraid. More and more, I want to
end my life. I feel that I have no support with friends and family; no one seems
to understand. I repeat and repeat my feelings of sadness, suicide but nothing
seems to trigger friends and family. Simply, I just need support. The hard part
is not knowing what support I need. You can continue to try an help but it won’t
be enough. It’s a continuous feeling of not having enough support and love. This
continues to be a battle.

When I continue to reach out to family and friends; nothing seems to be done.
When will family and friends support me, when I try and commit suicide? This is
not what I want to do but when will they get it. I don’t want friends and family
only there when something tragic happens, i need the support now.”

This is just a small glimpse of the depression I encountered.

Looking back, I think, how did I get through this? When I really think about it,
I realize that it was a God thing. Each day Christ was carrying me through the
depression. I say this because in retrospect I know there was absolutely no way
I could have carried myself through the depression. (James 1:2-8)

When I really began questioning my sexuality and coming to terms with it I began
to pray daily. I researched about homosexuality and watched documentaries. I
knew if I was gay, I needed to know where it came from–in the terms of history
and understand what the bible says about it. As I began to slowly come to terms
with my sexuality I continued to pray and allow God to be part of this.

I remember the day; I finally admitted it to myself. I was sitting in my
parent’s basement and admitted to myself that I am gay. At that moment, I knew
for a fact, that Christ had planned that for me and I was born that way. I was
proud and stood strong in my sexuality because Christ created me this way and
so, I came out to my friends. All my fears and thoughts about being abandoned,
abused and not loved by friends were torn apart. I remember my friend Becca
saying, “Matt, I missed you and I love you,” and I knew that I had friends that
were supportive and would love me no matter what. I felt comfortable in my own
skin for the first time in my entire life.

Through the coming out process, my North Park Community was the biggest support
system through the coming out process to my family and without them I would have
never made it. My coming out process went something like this:

On November 9th: My parents asked me to stay home and wait for a delivery but
fortunately the delivery ended up coming in the evening. I prayed all day and
talked to my (North Park) friends and they prayed for me over the phone and told
their friends to pray too. I was loved and blessed. On this day, I wrote my
coming out letter and came out to my parents. The rest is my parent’s story to
tell.

All I know is each coming out story is different and some people get denied by
their family or their family is completely supportive. Whatever the story is, we
are all there for each other and you have to find your family whether that is
friends or a Church that supports you. Fortunately, I have both. My friends and
Church are my family right now and I know that this is a process for my family
and it may take a few years, or even 10 years.

My quote during all this: “My puzzle may be complicated but he still knows where
the pieces belong.”

Allies

EVOLUTION : MELISSA PETERSEN

July 17, 2012 Phil Brockett 3 Comments

Melissa Petersen is a Christian, a speech therapist, a non-conformist, a dog
lover, a kid lover, a feminist, a dancer, a quiet one, and a brave one. She
lives in Seattle with her husband, her dog, her immediate family and friends.
This was first published on her blog. She says, “I write to keep myself from
hiding.”

Our president has been mute about gay marriage for the past 3 years, and
recently announced that he has finished his evolution and come out in favor.
Finally. It’s not like we couldn’t see that one coming.

It has made me re-think my own position. Not my actual belief – that has been
stable for a while (albeit, a relatively short while compared with the rest of
my life). But my public position has been unstated, unclear, for some time.
Hearing my commander in chief take the plunge has made my own silence more
noticeable. Probably no one else has noticed, but maybe they have. And maybe
even if they have not noticed, they should.

I grew up in a moderately conservative household, attending an Evangelical Free
Church, with many surrounding influences much more conservative than my
immediate family. In high school I was decidedly “anti-”, from both a
civil/moral (“it’s bad for society, and/or unnatural”), and also a religious
(“God says it’s wrong”) standpoint. It wasn’t until college that I started
realizing what the real world looked like, and reevaluating my standpoint on
many issues.

The first big issue I remember struggling with was women’s equality. The EFCM is
“complementarian,” meaning that I’m a fully valuable person, but for reasons
related to my uterus I’m unfit to do various churchy things, and am supposed to
submit to all the men in my life. I vividly remember hearing a sermon in my
childhood church where the pastor put three chairs on the stage–a big chair, a
medium chair, and a small chair–and explained that [male] God sat in the big
chair, men sat in the medium chair, and women sat in the small chair. It was an
explanation of the “natural” hierarchy of authority in the world. In the sermon
I was supposed to be comforted in my little chair by the fact that at least I
got to sit in a chair (as opposed to sitting on the floor), and that men didn’t
get the biggest chair. The pastor was apologetic as he explained that he didn’t
make it up; it was what God said, and he was just letting us know. I got a small
chair with a wobbly leg. The men got a nice cushy chair that was bigger than
mine, and [male] God got the throne. I was not comforted at the time, and in
college I had some knock-down-drag-out screaming matches with [male] God about
that one.

A turning point was when I prayed to the Holy Spirit to either a) help me accept
what I had been taught, if it were true, or b) show me how to rectify the truth
I felt in my heart that women were NOT created as lesser creatures with the
truth of the Bible. The Holy Spirit was alarmingly responsive; She immediately
began to open my eyes and heart to better teaching, more historically accurate
interpretations of disputed Bible passages, and theologians who based their
belief in equality on the Bible which I loved. I was thrilled. I also left the
church of the chairs for a Covenant church who saw me as a full person. That was
nine years ago.

In between then and now I’ve had small awakenings around a variety of issues:
global warming, evolution, education, organic food, capitalism, other issues of
sexuality… I’ve definitely rejected many of the thinly-veiled political
ideologies I was taught in Sunday school and youth group (“the truth” they
called it), though none of those smaller rejections got me labeled as a heretic…
yet. The Covenant church has been mainly supportive of these enlightenments,
which has been wonderful.

Fast forward several years and repeat, only this time the topic is
homosexuality. After watching the response of Bible-thumping Christians to the
issue (appalling), and successfully separating civil rights from religious
belief (a separation that enabled me to see the grave injustice in denying civil
rights to LGBT individuals, and support civil unions, etc), I was still
troubled. I *wanted* to accept homosexuality, but hadn’t figured out how to do
it and value the Bible also without the sort of mental gymnastics that require
you to accept that 2+2=5. One of the events which pushed on me was learning that
a close Christian friend of mine was gay, and meeting her girlfriend. It took me
a while, but I finally had the courage to ask the same question I asked back in
college. “Please show me how to accept this hard teaching which I feel is wrong,
or show me how it is wrong.” Once again, She gave me an answer with unsettling
swiftness. I’ve now left the Covenant church for an “open and accepting” church,
mostly for other reasons, but I wish the Covenant had been able to grow with me
through that process. I’m happy where I am, but I miss my church.

For at least two years I have been saying “I don’t know” when people asked me
what I thought about the morality of homosexuality. I explained that I used to
think it was wrong, but didn’t know what to think anymore. It was a true answer
at the time, but holding on to that answer now would be cowardly.

So I related to President Obama when he made his announcement earlier this
month. He’s been thinking about it for a long time, and come hell or high water,
the right thing to say is still the right thing to say. I applaud his courage,
and am working on mustering my own.

I am pro-LGBT. I believe all loving couples should be able to marry. I am
anti-LGBT discrimination. I do not believe this is an issue of immorality, or
inconsistent with my Christian faith.

I’ve come out.

becoming more inclusiveComing OutEvangelical Covenant Church

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