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THE PROPER REACTION TO ANTIEMITISM
FEATURED
Posted on November 16, 2022 by admin
Reply
At a wedding, a family member told me of some insulting comments towards Jews by
some musician. I forgot his name.
He said it was important to let people know that Jews are good and to rebuff the
Anti-semetic rhetoretic spewed by those Anti-semetic people.
So I told him that when you want to solve a problem, you try to find solutions
to the root causes of the problem, rather than the symptoms. The Anti-semetic
rhetoretic is a symptom. Apparently by trying to prove that the rhetoric they
say is not true, you give credibility to their argument. You give their voice
credibility.
Why does the Good G-d allow Antisemetic acts? To awaken Jews to remind them that
they are Jews. So Let’s Awaken. A good article on the subject is : on Aish.com –
named Dear Antisemites, Thank You
> Dear Antisemites, Thank You
If G-d is sending us a personal message – I would like to tune in.
What are Ethics.
I was thinking – who does ethics belong to? Really – it’s Hash-m’s world – so it
is not for me to say what is right or wrong. It’s for me to understand what G-d
wants from me. For me to posit my opinions of what is right or wrong – in
contradiction to what G-d said – is nothing more than impudence. A king declares
that you cannot steal in his country – and a minister says you can steal – that
is impudence.
Torah Judaism is the only religion that had over 3 million witnesses who saw
thunder and lightning and heard G-d speak at Mount Sinai – when the Jewish
people with Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses) received the Torah after leaving Egypt. Thus
– before deciding if something is ethical or not – consult the Book of Ethics –
the Torah or ask you local orthodox rabbi.
Posted in Judaism | Leave a reply
LEARNING TO GIVE COMPLIMENTS FROM A RABBI
FEATURED
Posted on April 29, 2022 by admin
Reply
A New Book by Artscroll Publishers, “Yedidi – Rabbi Shmuel Berkovicz, whose
warmth and caring inspired people to strive for greatness by Rabbi Yechiel
Spero” is about a Congregation Rabbi that lead with love.
Recently, in the Weekly Mesorah Heritage Foundation’s Torah pamphlet called “AT
THE ARTSCROLL SHABBOS TABLE – WEEKLY INSPIRATION AND INSIGHT ADAPTED FROM
CLASSIC ARTSCROLL TITLES” Acharei Mos / פרשת אחרי מות / כייט ניסן תשפייב / 5782
/ APRIL 30, 2022 / ISSUE #88 – it talks of his all compassing love for others.
Here is a quote I found particularly Helpful in the quest to make others feel
good.
> It Doesn’t Cost Money
> Shlomo Hamelech / King Solomon teaches (Mishlei / Proverbs 25:11), “Tapuchei
> zahav be’maskiyos kasef davar davur al ofnav” Like golden apples carved on
> silver plates, so is a word spoken in its proper place.” Rabbi Berkovicz was
> the master of saying the right thing, at the right time, in the right place.
> He understood the power of a compliment and did not hold back. No one was too
> smart or too simple, too old or too young, too chashuv or too insignificant
> for a compliment from Reb Shmuel. As he always said, “Es kost nisht kein gelt.
> It doesn’t cost money to make someone feel good!”
Posted in Attitude, Biography, Gratitude, Mussar, People, Relationships,
Self-Help, Self-Improvement, Service of G-d, Spirituality | Leave a reply
HIS SOUL IS BOUND WITH HIS SOUL – HOW TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE IN JUDAISM
FEATURED
Posted on January 9, 2022 by admin
Reply
Yehuda was pleading before the ruler of Egypt (Parasha Vayigash). Tzafenat
Paneach (who was actually Yehuda’s Brother Yosef) wanted to take Yehuda’s
brother, Binyamin, as a slave. Yehuda, son of Leah, was ready to give his life
in this world and the next to save his brother from same father – Yaakov / Jacob
– but another mother – Rachel. He told the ruler – you cannot take my brother.
If you do so his elderly father will be brought down to the grave – he says:
> And now, when I come to your servant, my father, and the lad is not with us; .
> (Bereshit 44:30)
The Torah tells you the essence of all. Here the Torah teaches the definition of
Love. The text says in Hebrew “Ve Nafsho Keshura BeNafsho” – “and his soul is
connected with his soul.” Targum Yonathan (the Aramaic translation of the Torah)
translates Keshura – bound or connected as haviva – beloved. Meaning he
translates that “And His Soul is Beloved like His Soul”
Thus Love is equated to connection.
Rabbi Nechemia Grama spoke about the subject of Connecting with children
entitled – Ve Nafsho Keshura BeNafsho.
He asked for a one word definition of love. The response was “Connection.” He
made a distinction between fulfilling a child’s physical needs – and the child’s
soul’s needs.
He asked children What is the difference between their mother and their live in
cleaning lady?
One child said “The cleaning lady gets paid to clean the house. My mother
doesn’t”
Another “You can fire the cleaning lady – you can’t fire my mother.”
The point is that – children need to feel the relationship.
If a child that thinks his mother is an alternate cleaning lady – it may mean
that his mother (or father) may be lacking in the connection department. A child
should know and feel that their parents love them.
Soul Connection
When we make a physical connection between objects there are two parts. When we
connect with another person – what are we connecting with? We are connecting one
soul with another soul.
One Question he asked was “Why does a child do nothing significant in the first
5 years of life?” You feed them, you carry them, you play with them – but they
accomplish little or nothing. He explained that one reason is to give a parent
opportunities to connect with the child those 5 years.
Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe says a 3 month child can distinguish between a smiling look
and angry look. Who knows what is more important to a child – is it the food
that you give to them or the orat hapanim (illumination of the face) –
connection that you give to them. it is clear a child that grows without the
orot hapanim – is like a plant without sunlight.
Is Connection more important than food?
He told a story of children survivors after Holocaust. In the freedom camps
there were many starving children standing on a long line. One American soldier
was giving out chocolate to children. Kids waited patiently in line for their
portion of chocolate.
Another soldier saw a kid passing, called him over to him and gave them a hug.
The entire line of children went off the chocolate line and went on the hugging
line.
How to connect
The rabbi mentioned that it is not the activity that causes connection. There
are some activities that are more apt to cause connections – but it is not the
activity – it is the interaction. Thus any activity can be used to create a
connection.
He mentioned that a woman used to put the coat on her child just like she would
put it on a coat rack. Then she started using the opportunity to connect with
her child.
Suffering Loneliness
A person can be surrounded by people but still feel lonely or empty. The lack of
connection causes loneliness or emptiness.
Certain problems can be caused by this lack of connection. He mentioned fear,
lack of self esteem, lack of self-value, lack of sense of security, lack of
calmness, and other concerns.
Connection Benefits
A child that is connected will want to be an eved hashem / Servant of G-d. How
do we develop a ratzon / will to be an eved hashem? Rabbi Chaim Friedlander
explains how to achieve it – Only if we can make a kesher hanafshi / Soul
Connection. The kesher hanafshi with rebbi – will make a person want to learn.
The parent who has a connection – the child will naturally want to make parent
happy.
Posted in 13 Principles of Faith of Judaism from the Rambam, Anger, Animals,
Attitude, Biography, Blessings / Berakhot, Children, Connecting to God, Dreams,
Love, Marriage, Relationships | Leave a reply
AN EXCHANGE BETWEEN A SINGLE & JEWISH SPIRITUAL LEADER ON DATING
FEATURED
Posted on December 30, 2021 by admin
Reply
An Exchange between a Single & Jewish Spiritual Leader
Single: Hi. I am single looking for… for marriage. I have searched but not yet
found a mate suitable to what I am looking for.
Rav: I understand your point. I think it is good for you to have a rabbi you
trust to guide your decisions in dating. we have a rabbi we consult for our
daughters dating decisions. we sometimes have certain requirements for boys and
he gives us daat torah / the point of view of what the Torah thinks.
My friend was reluctant to meet a someone from your area because they want
someone more local. but it’s my opinion that a person might try to move a bit
out of their comfort zone if it is a good opportunity. and especially since time
is ticking. I am not stuck on them for you – but they are a very nice person. it
seems like both of you are looking for someone very sweet. they are very sweet.
I think the other factors are secondary.
My wife didn’t want to marry an American boy and I am about 11 years older. but
bh / thank G-d we made it work.
Wishing you lots of hatzalcha / success to find the right person for you. you
can check out a video by Jack Cohen on torahanytime.com – called “Fast track to
marriage”. It was recorded at our synagogue. my site jerusalemlife.com has also
advice for singles.
Single: I thank you for your concern and for the proposal – but the person is
out of my search range.
Rav: I hope all is well . my point is not to push you for any particular person.
my point is that now a days it is more challenging to find a mate.** so all
reasonable kosher avenues and resources should be used like shadchanim /
matchmakers, frum (orthodox Jewish) dating coaches, research on the person
through references, prayer, segulas and rabbis for daat torah. sometimes their
experiences and knowledge can open up opportunities to you that you might not
have considered. and guide you in the right way. a good shadchan is not there
just to suggest a potential mate, but to have your interest as a priority to
help make a promising shidduch work or deter you from someone not of your
caliber.
Rav: f you found the perfect match but they were 41 or 42, would you reject them
for a date? the rabbi you choose can help you answer questions of the such.
Rav: I thought of a segulah – rabbi yonathan ben uziel was a Tanna- tremendous
sage from times of mishna. he was a talmid of the great sage Hillel. the Roman’s
buried him in a deep valley called Amuka in Israel. he promised anyone who would
visit his kever – grave he would pray for them that they would meet their soul
mate within a year. many years ago when single I did so and met my wife within a
year.
now that borders are closed – this is challenging. but it might be worthwhile to
light a candle in his memory and pray to Hashem – OH Hashem in the merit of
rabbi yonathan ben uziel help me to find my soul mate. it is important to do
this for 40 days consecutively. try it. let me know if it works.
—
**(I heard Hashem is doing this so people will appreciate the mate once married-
that they will not divorce so easily when they recognize the effort they made to
finally find a mate).
Single: Hash-m / G-d is in control. I just have to expand my area of search. I
don’t have to reduce my standards.
Rav: You are right – Hashem is in control. we have to just make our effort. but
we also follow the will of Hashem by asking the rabbis.
my main point remains- get a rabbi you trust to get advice from a Torah
perspective, get a good shadchan, if you have to get a good frum dating coach.
it’s very important to follow daat torah – not just your preferences. your rabbi
will be able to guide you on what are reasonable and proper requirements and
what are not.
also I recommend to many singles to reinforce themselves in Torah & mitzvot to
get a higher caliber mate.
someone said a person should list ten things they want from a mate and
prioritize them. If you find the top 5 then they are potentially a good dating
prospect.
call the rabbis in the synagogues in your area to see if you find someone that
meets your requirements.
Posted in Judaism | Leave a reply
TRUST IN G-D FEAR NOT
FEATURED
Posted on December 24, 2021 by admin
Reply
My friend Avner told me when a person trusts in the stock market – if the stock
goes up he is happy. If it goes down – he is not. One who trusts in G-d –
whether the market goes up or down – he is happy because he knows that Hash-m is
doing all for the good.
When a person trusts the media – if they hear good things they are happy. If
they hear bad – they are not. If they hear good statistics of covid they are
happy. If they hear bad statistics – they are not.
Unfortunately – I heard that in Japan more people died from fear of covid than
covid itself.
Trust in Hash-m – live a happy life – not a fearful one.
Those who fear Hashem, Have faith in Hashem! He is their helper and guardian.
(Psalms / Tehillim 115:11.)
Posted in Attitude, God, wisdom | Leave a reply
WHAT CHILDREN WANT MOST FROM PARENTS
FEATURED
Posted on December 16, 2021 by admin
Reply
Rav Shimshon Rephael Hirsch was a rabbi in Europe about 200 years ago. Born in
1808 – he explained Judaism with a point to inspire the intellectual Jewish
populace. He wrote that the main thing that a child wants from parents is Love.
“The Love that you give to the child is greater to the child than any gift in
the world you can give them.” When someone asks the child – does your father (or
mother) love you? their answer should be a sure answer – “of course”.
This lesson does not only apply to children but to students, friends, spouses
and oneself.
I heard this shiur / lecture from a live broadcast from a The Beit Knesset
Moshayov from Yesterday (in Hebrew).
What is love?
To understand how to educate children – it is not enough to “Just love them” but
to understand what love really is. Love means giving for the interest of the
child – not for our personal interests. People err. They think if I buy them a
toy, a game – that expresses my love. It does but is that what the child wants?
Apparently – they would rather a hug than a roller coaster ride. They would
rather quality time than an expensive vacation. They would rather a kiss on the
cheek – than a Play station.
I was listening to a rabbi – he told two stories. One child on Passover – found
the Afikomen / the piece of Matza that is hidden by some families at the
Passover seder. The child that finds it can choose their prize. Some ask for
toys, games, Jewish books and the like. This child asked for a kiss on the cheek
from the father.
Affection is important – but the way that the child wants it – not the way that
we may want to give it. A child understands more than we think. They know when
you hand them a video – you’re basically telling them – I have more important
things to do.
So how can we bond with children?
The Shabbat Table
When the family enjoys the Shabbat meals together – it is a great way to bond.
We talk with children. We give them attention. We sing together – interact
together – learn together – eat together and develop as a person. We say words
of Torah and encourage to do the same.
No Substitute for Spiritual Bonding
Some think that taking the kid to the local park is a substitute. Truthfully –
in the park a parent sits on the bench and the kid disappears with their friends
until it is time to leave. Where is the bonding? Take them to a baseball game?
OK. We watch grown men throwing a ball around. What about watching TV? The TV is
the center of attention – the child is just a spectator – secondary to what
appears on the screen. Give them a cell phone? A nice way of saying occupy
yourself with this while I carry on my own life. Go shopping together? the focus
is on the buying – not on the kid.
The Torah School
Many Jewish parents send their children to public school. I myself went to one.
One of the the main qualms of parents is – Jewish Day school costs money. OK.
But did they ask themselves – what is the best interest for my child’s
emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical development. A public school only
teaches secular knowledge. A Torah Day school teaches secular knowledge and how
to be a beautiful functioning person that wants to help society and be a good
person deep down.
The Kiss of Life
A five year old child was wetting their bed. The parents tried giving him gifts
to motivate him to not do so. They asked psychologists. Talked with him. Nothing
worked. One rabbi heard the problem and said perhaps the kid lacks affection
from the parents. He instructed them to spend time with him at night, read him
the Shema Yisrael before sleeping and give him a goodnight kiss. Within the week
that they started – they solved the bed wetting problem.
Lech Neche et HaAm – Go and Speak nicely with the people
Menashe Yeshoshua – speaking on on Education in his sefer / book Shaarei
Hamishkan writes on the verse “Go and speak calmly with the people.” When G-d
spoke to Moses – he said Go and speak calmly with the people. The Nursing woman
speaks with baby softly. This is the way we are to speak with the child.When we
want to correct the child we correct the improper action – but the love should
remain. We don’t say you are the problem. We do not say “You are selfish!” We
try to instruct them on being more selfless – by being selfless ourselves and
the like.
When the Jewish people rebelled – Moses asks G-d “Am I their father that I
should calmly guide them like a nursing woman to the nursing baby?” This is
teaching us that the parents – all have the ability to calmly educate the child.
G-d gave us this ability. We are to believe in ourselves and in Hash-m / G-d
that He gave us the ability to do so and will help us to get the proper results.
Posted in Attitude, Children, Connecting to God, Education, Emunah - Faith in
G-d, Family, Hashem, Jewish Education, Jewish Holidays, Judaism, Kindness,
Relationships | Leave a reply
SPIRITUAL BLOCK? TRY THIS
FEATURED
Posted on November 25, 2021 by admin
Reply
Over 20 years ago, I was learning with a rabbi. He told the following story. A
woman who apparently was following his lectures asked him – “I want to become
more spiritual. I want to follow Judaism and Torah – but I just can’t get myself
to do it. I don’t understand the Mitzvot – even if you explain them.”
The Rabbi replied “Try eating Kosher food for a month and you might better
understand the Mitzvot.”
She had to go through a detox period. Just like one has to detox for overcoming
alcohol addiction – they do also for spiritual growth. Part of the process is
start eating Kosher, guarding the eyes, removing oneself from impure thoughts
and acts. Then a person can become a better receptacle for spiritual growth
through Torah.
I didn’t quite understand the connection between understanding Mitzvot and
Eating Kosher. Recently I came upon a Sefer / Book By Rabbi Matityahu Glazer –
On Repentance and Hebrew Letters called THE PREREQUISITES FOR REPENTANCE
REPENTANCE IN WORDS AND LETTERS.
Hebrew letters have significance – in that the Hebrew word defines their essence
of the object. The word for “sin” in Hebrew is Het / Sin / חטא – Het, Tet, Alef.
> REPENTANCE IN WORDS AND LETTERS
> THE NEGATIVE EFFECT OF SIN
> …This comes to teach us that the destructive power of the סתן (Satan) creates
> a “screen” ( מסך ) which separates and “locks out” (נעל) the Divine light.
> מ precedes נ
> ס precedes ע
> ך precedes ל
>
>
>
> The numerical value of the words פגם [imperfection – (in matters of holiness –
> especially promiscuity)] and מגף (plague) is 123 (80 + 3 + 40), which is the
> same as נגע (nega, plague: 50 + 3 + 70) and teaches us about the common source
> of these words, which is בלע (bela, corruption: 2 + 30 + 70).
>
>
>
> מגף (magaf) is related to מגפה (magaifa, plague),the letter ג and פ combining
> to form the word גוף (goof, body) and showing that he comes as a result of
> overindulgence in the material world.
>
>
>
> The word אלף (alef. instruction or learning the same as the name of the letter
> א) refers to an אולפן תורה (oolpan Torah, “study of Torah”), the acquisition
> of Divine wisdom, as is written in the book of Job (13:33): אאלפך חכמה
> (a’alfecha chochma ; “I will
> teach you wisdom”). Through אולפן תורה , the study of Torah, a person merits
> the revelation of the Divine light of א, for the light of the Torah has the
> ability to penetrate the barriers created by sin. From here one learns that
> the repentant should involve
> himself in אולפן תורה as much as possible. Rabbeinu Yona in “The Foundation of
> Repentance” (“Yesod Hat’shoova” found in Gates of Repentance)
> teaches that for one who is accustomed to learn one page of Torah, a proper
> repentance should include learning two pages of Torah.
>
>
>
> The opening of the letter ח (chet ) is directed downwards, which symbolizes
> the sinner whose tendencies and desires are also directed “downwards,” that
> is, to his materialistic and baser nature. Opposed to this is the letter ה
> (hai )-of the same shape but with an opening at the top, hinting to higher
> spiritual aspirations. Therefore, if a person
> blocks his spiritual striving and closes the upper opening of the ה, it
> becomes a ח (chet , sin).
>
>
>
> The difference can be clearly seen in the words חמץ (chametz ) and מצה (matza
> ). חמץ, the leavened food forbidden to eat or even possess during the Pesach
> festival, is a symbol of the Evil Inclination (it “fills” with a void and
> emptiness-like the yeast that
> puffs up dough, makes it rise and expand but essentially adds nothing). The
> word מצה (matza, unleavened bread), on the other hand, is the symbol of the
> Good Inclination. The only difference in the letters of these two words is the
> “window of repentance”- the slight opening at the top of the ה.
>
>
>
> ונטמתם בם
>
> “That you should be defiled thereby,” referring mainly to forbidden food that
> defiles the
> soul of man. One of the most impure foods is the חזיר (chazeer , pig), equal
> to 225 (8 + 7 + 10 +200) as is the word op (kleepa , shell; 100 + 30 + 10 + 80
> + 5).
>
>
>
> טמא Impurity is the Blockage of the Spiritual. טמא (tameh , impure) has the
> same letters as אטם (otem obstruction). Impurity causes a general breakdown of
> the spiritual structure of a person. Just as an אטם in the body is a barrier
> that prevents the
> flow of blood to the heart, so too does impurity ( טומאה, tooma ) prevent
> spiritual abundance and existence from reaching the heart and brain of a
> person. The evil impurity caused by an עברה (aveira transgression) can be
> clearly seen in its letters רע בה (ra-ba, “evil in it”). This is what our
> Sages mean when they say (Yoma 39a): עברה מטמטמת לבו של אדם
> – “Sin dulls the heart of man.” Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler (Michtav M’Eliyahu )
> writes: “The sin itself is the dullness-the desire for and cleaving to the sin
> does not allow a person to find something to oppose it.”
>
> The Power of Humility as a Prerequisite for Overcoming One’s Sins.
>
>
>
> חטא (chet, an unintentional sin) involves a lack of thought at the time of
> the transgression. When one’s mind-the אלף ( א , alef )-is “plastered over”
> (טח tach ), the result is sin, חטא. Intentional sins (עוונות) comprise -עוות –
> נ (avoot noon, “the distortion or corruption of the letter נ, which represents
> understanding). These letters also allude to the power of thought and purity
> (עיון, eeyoon ), which
> is connected to the Fifty (נ = 50) Gates of Impurity and Understanding,
>
> A pleasant eye”) עין נוה is ( ענוה )The source of humility”
>
>
>
> The Chida says that the power of humility is so great that it can mend one’s
> sins; the letters of ענוה (anava , humility) are the same as those of the word
> העון 190 (ha’avon, the sin). As our Sages say (Rosh Hashana 17a) כל המעביר על
> מדותיו מעבירין לו על כל ; “Whoever overcomes his feelings, all his sins are
> passed over.”
>
>
>
> Repentance out of humility and love for G-d changes negative actions into
> positive ones. This amazing concept is unique to Torah thought: not only is a
> person capable of wiping the slate clean, he also has the ability to turn the
> negativity he has caused in the world into a positive force.
טמא – tameh is impurity. The letters also spell – Alef, Tet, and a Mem – spell
Atum – which means blocked or clogged. If a person removes themselves from
transgression – they will open up this blockage of the Spiritual.
Posted in 13 Principles of Faith of Judaism from the Rambam, Anger, Animals,
Attitude, Biography, Blessings / Berakhot, Children, Connecting to God, Dreams,
Education, Emunah - Faith in G-d, Family, Judaism, Spirituality, Truth | Leave a
reply
THE YOU ARE AMAZING ACTIVITY BOOK
Posted on June 29, 2023 by admin
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At Ohr Binyamin – we are busy making new materials. Our latest project is the
“You are Amazing” activity book.
It is a Positivity Magazine. “Be Positive. Love Yourself. Love Others and
Smile!” A Jewish Interactivity Book – it allows one to take a more positive
approach to life. It allows you to connect with children and others with KID
CONNECT(tm) Questions.
It contains games, Mazes, Positive Statements and more.
Coming Soon to the Jerusalem Life Supersite.
Posted in Judaism | Leave a reply
SEGULAS OF LAG BAO’MER
Posted on May 11, 2023 by admin
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We had a bonfire outside our shul for Lag BaO’mer. This bonfire has various
explanations. Fire represents light. Light represents Torah. Fire represents
Torah. Rabbi Shimon Bar Yoh’ai hid in a cave for 13 years to escape Roman
persecution. There he studied with his son Elazar in a cave. He brought much
light in the world – by illuminating us with the Zohar – Jewish Book of
Mysticism.
Many other segulas and reasons for the bonfire: The Yanuka said – one reason is
to remember that one should prefer to jump into a fire than to embarrass a
person in public. I heard a segula for refuah is to throw a recently used piece
of clothing of that person into the lag baomer bonfire.
Here are the details:
סגולה נוראה וחשובה.
ביום ל”ג בעומר אם יש איזה חולה במשפחה או חולי גוף או חולי נפש. או כל צרה שיש
לאדם יקח האדם החולה וכדומה או אחד ממשפחתו בגד שלו וישליך אל תוך המדורה שנדלקה
לכבוד התנא רבי שמעון בר יוחאי ויאמר אני שורף הבגד של פלוני בן פלונית באש לכבוד
התנא. ויהי רצון שישרף החולי השוכן בתוכו או הכשוף שבו או עין רעה שבו או כל מניעה
וחסימה ושב ורפא לפב”פ.
Here are 10 Segulot for Lag BaOmer
Posted in Jewish Holidays, Segulah | Leave a reply
BLSHKA – TO HELP YOU PREPARE YOUR KIDS IN THE MORNING
Posted on May 3, 2023 by admin
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Getting kids to school on time is challenging.
It starts with them understanding the value of being on time. They learn that
with how parents view time. Do they have to be on time – or getting their a
little late is alright?
Getting into the rote can help. I put together a Mneumonic to help parents
“BLSHKA”
B – Breakfast (Did they eat a Healthy Breakfast?)
L – Lunch (Did they pack their lunch)
S – Snack (Do they have a regular & Healthy snack?)
H – Homework (Did they pack their homework?)
K – Knapsack – (Do they have their Knapsack?)
S – Attached (Are they Buckled or attached when riding to school?)
Feel free to add make up your own for regular tasks. I used to assure my
children ate bread in the morning (Pat Shaharit). So originally – the mnemonic
was PShLSHKA.
Posted in Judaism | Leave a reply
THE COUNTING UP TO SHAVUOT – SPIRITUAL GROWTH AND LESSONS TO PREVENT DIVORCE
Posted on April 24, 2023 by admin
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Starting the Second day of Pesach / Passover we start counting the Omer – a
personal barley offering that is made by farmers between the fesivals of
Passover (for the Jew’s freedom from Egypt) and Shavuot (the receiving of the
Torah.)- a total of 49 days. This counting Corresponds to two countings – one is
what day of the offerings it is in this offering. It also corresponds to how
many days have passed in the counting up of days to Shavuot.
Usually when one looks forward to an event they count down. How many more days
till their birthday, how many more days till their marriage, how many more days
to get out of jail, how many more days to vacation.
So why here do we count upwards? 1,2,3… instead of downwards 49,48,47,… till the
receiving of the Torah.
Rabbi Shimshon Pincus, gives an answer. Let’s say a person was promised One
Million Dollars in 100 days. He would count down the days. But if he was
promised $10,000 dollars a day for 100 days – he would count up the days.
The days between Pesach and Shavuot are 49. To acquire Torah – it requires 48
things. These are listed in Pirkei Avot / Ethics of the Fathers – Chapter 6
Mishna 5. Every day we are supposed to work on a different aspect of growth to
acquire the Torah – totalling 48 days and the last day we are to work on all of
them. Thus we count upwards – because every day between them is a day of growth
– a day to be thankful.
Yaakov Avinu / Jacob Our Forefather – wanted to marry Rachel. Lavan – Rachel’s
Father – said if Yaakov would work for him for 7 years he would give his
daughter’s hand in marriage to Yaakov. The Torah says something puzzling – for
Yaakov the 7 years seemed like several days. I would think the opposite – when a
person wants to marry – they feel as it is such a long time.
The Answer – Yaakov was preparing himself for marriage every day to be able to
be the founder of the Jewish nation. Every day was a day of growth for him.
Every day he would become better by learning Torah and working to improve his
character traits. Thus for him it seemed like several days.
Three Point to learn
1. One has to prepare themselves to get married by working on improving their
Middot / character traits. Some people go into marriage thinking – OK now I
have someone to serve my needs. But really that is the weak link in the
marriage chain – because once one of the spouses does not behave according
to their expectations – the chain breaks. If one entered into marriage
thinking this is my opportunity to do good to others and to improve my
character traits – the chain would not break – because the challenges (like
the wife yelling at the husband, the man leaving his clothes around the
house, etc.) are seen as opportunities for growth to become a better person.
2. One should go into marriage understanding that this is an opportunity to do
good to others and to improve my character traits.
3. Every day is an opportunity to Grow – Self improvement is an integral part
of acquiring Torah. To become a Dr., a Scientist, a Professor – one does not
necessarily need to have good character traits. To become a Torah scholar or
to acquire Torah one does.
Posted in Judaism | Leave a reply
YOUNG MAN SAVES THE WEDDING DAY – A FORMULA FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
Posted on March 15, 2023 by admin
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Recently, a family held a party for the 60th wedding anniversary of their
grandparents. It was a happy marriage – one that was peaceful, filled with
blessing, joy and many children, grand children and great-grandchildren.
One of the descendants asked the grandfather – “how is it that you managed to
live such a peaceful life together.” He replied “Many years ago a person was
about to get married. It was the wedding day and the hatan / groom got cold
feet. He told the Mesader Kiddushin / Marriage Rabbi that he wished to drop out.
The Rabbi – Rabbi Haim Zonnenfeld – realized that it would be a terrible
embarrassment for the bride to not get married on that day. As he didn’t want
the young woman to be embarrassed – he spoke to a group of young Yeshiva
Bachurim / Yeshiva Students – explaining the situation. He promised that anyone
who would volunteer to marry this woman on that day would be blessed with a
beautiful marital life with children and grandchildren. One by one – each
Yeshiva Bachur declined the offer. The last Bachur – recognizing the pain that
the bride would have if the wedding was cancelled – took up the offer. He
decided he would marry her.
The rabbi told the young man to call his parents to tell them to come to attend
the wedding. They came. The couple got married. “You know who was the young
bachur? it was me” he said.
We could say that the blessing was solely the reason for the great marriage. But
apparently – a couple in which each partner is concerned about the honor of the
mate over their own personal concerns – is also a reason and a formula for such
a successful marriage.
Posted in Attitude, Children, Gratitude, Happiness, Jewish Ethics, Judaism,
Kindness, Love, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Improvement | Leave a reply
THE HOUSE OF PEACE – THE MISHKAN – LESSONS FOR PEACE AT HOME
Posted on March 12, 2023 by admin
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In Torah Reading / Parasha Ki Tisa – Hash-m commands Moshe / Moses to build a
Mishkan / Tabernacle for Hash-m’s Presence to dwell.
Hash-m tells Moshe to collect half a Shekel coin for each person of Bnai Yisrael
/ the Children of Israel to make a census. The weigh of a Shekel the coin is 20
Geras. So Half a Shekel Coin is 10 Geras. The Half shekel coin amounted to 10
Geras – was an allusion that the Jews sined against all the 10 commandments – by
worshiping the idol of the golden calf. A person should learn to correct
themselves from just a light allusion.
When we build a house for ourselves -we use good quality materials. When Hash-m
commands us to build a House every single part is infused with Holiness and
meaning.
The Half-Shekel coins were used to make the silver sockets – in which the
columns of the Mishkan stood upon. All the coins were melted to form a whole.
One message is that a family should have the goal of doing what’s good for the
family – putting their self interests aside when necessary.
The Builder was Bezalel ben Uri Ben Hur. Hur tried to stop the Jew from building
the golden calf. Instead of listening – they killed him. Bezalel could have said
– I am not going to build this mishkan for Israel to build receive an atonement
– they killed my grandfather. He did not bear a grudge. Do we absolve, let go
and forgive or do we keep hatred in the recesses of our hearts?
To enter certain parts of the Mishkan a person had to be purified with the Ashes
of the Red Heifer / Para Aduma. A person was who sprinkled upon became Pure –
while the sprinkler – became impure. A person who wants peace must be willing to
back down to make bring others up.
The Parasha starts will Ki Tisa – When you count. Literally it means – when you
uplift. To have peace one should try to start with words that uplift. Your goal
should be to uplift the other – not to bring them down.
Posted in Judaism | Tagged connection, family, marriage, peace at home,
relationships | Leave a reply
PEACE AT HOME – DOES NAGGING ACHIEVE ANYTHING? A MORE EFFECTIVE SOLUTION.
Posted on February 14, 2023 by admin
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Rabbi Mica’el Shushan, הרב מיכאל שושן – has a series on shalom bayit / peace at
home. [In program 52] He quotes the pasuk – “The end of his act – is in his
thought in the beginning” – The verse – means that what Hashem intended from the
beginning happened at the end. He gave another interpretation – the end of your
act you should consider from the beginning.
He gave an example: Let’s say a man comes home and takes off his shoes. He sits
down to eat. His wife comes in “What are you doing?! You know how much I hate
when you don’t put away your shoes?! You can’t make a small act to put them
away?!” She thinks he’s going to change with her tirade. Really he is not. What
will happen?
Excuse the comparison – but a scientist did an experiment. Every time he would
feed a dog – he would ring a bell before. After some time – when he would just
ring the bell – the dog would start salivating. It became a physical reaction.
When one spouse or parent starts nagging. The person on the receiving end will
start associating the nagging voice with negativity and thus have a physical
reaction to ignore the the nagger. The voice of that person will trigger
ignoring – even when they speak positively.
The talking person should consider what message the sound of their voice
provokes. They should consider what works with the other person and do what
works.
Posted in Attitude, Judaism, Marriage, Relationships, Speech | Leave a reply
SAVING LIVES FROM EUTHANASIA – MERCY KILLING
Posted on January 24, 2023 by admin
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It’s an oxymoron – mercy killing. If there is mercy – how can there be killing
and if there is killing how can there be mercy. When a life & death question
occurs – Torah Jews don’t rely on their own opinion. They consult a Torah versed
Orthodox competent rabbi. They present the case – and he will provide the
ethical answer according to the will of G-d. G-d gave us the Torah. In the Torah
– it contains the reasoning to answer any ethical question.
Recently – a question of euthanasia arose – Could one disconnect a person from
life support? I asked a competent rabbi. He said no – it is killing.
Once a person is on life support – usually one cannot disconnect them – if it is
going to surely result in their death. Obviously each case is different and each
must be asked to a competent Orthodox rabbi.
In dealing with such a situation – I learned of an organization that answers
such end of life questions according to Torah Halacha / Jewish law. It is called
Chaim Aruchim / Long Life.
They not only will provide answers but also intervene on the family’s behalf
with the hospital to assure that the halacha is fulfilled.
Hospital’s “ethics” do not necessarily correspond with Torah law. Doctor’s mix
their feelings and opinions into treating the patient. Once a Doctor was
treating the husband of someone I know. He expressed how much time he expected
the patient to live. She responded “You treat the patient. G-d will decide how
long he will live.”
There are three things that must be provided by the hospital to the patient:
1. Nutrition
2. Oxygen
3. Hydration
If they withdraw or refuse one of the above – it may be considered killing.
Things to avoid – Apnea test. It is a test to see if the patient’s brain is
working. It is not necessarily accurate. In Torah law a person is alive as long
as the heart is beating.
If one does pull the plug of a live person or gives the authorization against
the disapproval of the halachic authorities – it may be considered killing
according to Torah law.
Once a person was on life support. A doctor came by and felt badly for him. He
unplugged him. The patient died. The man he killed came back to him in a dream
and said “Why did you kill me? I had some more time to survive in this condition
and my sins would have been atoned for on earth. Now he would suffer because he
didn’t have that reparation in this world due to the Doctor’s precipitation of
his death. Shaken, the Doctor did Teshuva / repented and it served as a merit
for the patient he killed.
Suffering is not the worst thing in life. There are worse things – like living
with out purpose and without doing good. The Torah provides the means to find
purpose and maximize your doing good for yourself and others.
Posted in Hashkafa / Jewish Outlook, Health, Jewish Ethics, Judaism | Leave a
reply
LITTLE ACTS THAT CHANGED LIVES
Posted on January 8, 2023 by admin
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A screen writer wrote an article. Once he was eating in a non-kosher restaurant
on Shabbat. He was sitting with a friend. His friend remarked that a religious
Jewish family was walking together from a Kollel / Torah Study Institute. They
were dressed in beautiful clothing, walking and interacting naturally happy. The
friend remarked “I feel sorry for those kids.” He replied “I am sure they feel
much more sorry for you.” The sight and his own words stirred something in his
heart. Little by little it influenced him to investigate Judaism and eventually
he became an observant orthodox Jew.
That family had no idea that they influenced the man. But after they go to the
next world they will be rewarded for having brought this man back to Teshuva /
Repentance to Judaism.
This story is found a in a book called – “One Small Deed Can Change The World”
by Nachman Seltzer. Rabbi Feifer of the Agudah Yisrael of Bayswater said a
story.
Once an overprotected child was sent on a bus from Benei Berak to Jerusalem to
deliver a package to his uncle. His uncle was to wait for him at the bus station
in Jerusalem. The boy boarded the bus with the package in his suitcase.
He fell asleep. When he woke up – he found himself in Teveria. Scared, he
disembarked and searched for a phone. A hippy kiosk owner was closing up shop.
He let him phone his parents. The boy didn’t know where to spend the night. The
kiosk owner told him to sleep by him. He did so. He remembered that he did not
say Arvit / the night prayer. He was shaken by the entire experience. He prayed
fervently Arvit. The next day he was woken by the man and took a morning bus to
Jerusalem.
About 20 years later – he decided to search for the kiosk owner to pay him back
for the money he gave him to take the bus to Jerusalem. He finally found him in
a kiosk next to the bus station. He reminded him who he was. Exuberant, the man
lifted the young father in the air. The kiosk owner took out a picture. He
showed him the picture of his observant Jewish family. He told him – after he
witnessed the boy praying Arvit – he realized a person can have a personal
creation with the Creator / Hashem.
His fervent prayer influenced the kiosk owner to explore Judaism and motivated
him to have a close connection with the creator and build a beautiful Jewish
family. One Small Deed Can Change The World.
Posted in Connecting to God, God, Hashgacha Pratit, Kindness, Repentance,
Shabbat, Spirituality, Stories | Leave a reply
THE LETTER OF YOSEF HATZADIK TO HIS FATHER YAAKOV
Posted on January 3, 2023 by admin
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Yosef Hatzadik / Joseph was the ruler of Mitzrayim / Egypt. His Brothers came to
purchase grain – because of the famine in Canaaan (Israel). They came before
him. He accuses them to be spies.
They really came to search for their long lost brother – Yosef. They didn’t
recognize that the ruler before them was actually Yosef. Yosef wanted to test
whether the brothers repented for having sold him many years before. He thus
took their brother – Binyamin to be a slave – to see if the brothers would
defend him.
After he reveals himself to the brothers and the family is reunited. He sends a
letter to his father Yaakov that says he is alive and also is the ruler in
Egypt. This letter was found in Rome. The letter found is called “Iggeret Yosef
Hatzadik”.
Among things that are mentioned is how the snakes and scorpions befriended him,
how the Yishmaelim / people from Yishmael Treated him cruely, how he was sent in
the dungeon because of a crime he didn’t commit.
Here is the file:
אגרת יוסף הצדיק ששלח לאביו
Posted in Biography | Leave a reply
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